I sit on the edge of the bed, trying to get up the courage to go out and talk to Yasmin about what happened. We briefly spoke about it at work, but I need to debrief with her, so I don’t think I’m going crazy.
After I pee, I head out to our spacious galley kitchen. Yasmin and Floyd are talking and giggling while I sneak out and slide on the seat at the counter. Floyd sees me and startles. “Shit, Tabitha, you scared the crap out of me,” he says as he places his hand to his chest. I spy the bottle of champagne sitting on the counter, open. Floyd sees me looking at it. “We’re celebrating tonight!”
“What are we celebrating?’ I ask.
“A promotion,” Floyd says excitedly.
“I didn’t know you were up for promotion. Congratulations,” I say as I reach for the glass he’s pouring me.
“Not me, Yasmin,” he replies.
My smile quickly fades, as my eyes suspiciously look at Yasmin, who’s refusing to make eye contact with me. “Oh, really? What promotion did you get, Yasmin?” I ask her directly. Although my voice is quiet and calm, my heart is beating like crazy, and I feel sick to my stomach.
“She’s the new sous chef,” Floyd replies. Yasmin still declines to look at me.
“What the fuck!” I yell. Standing, I walk around to her, grab her by the arm, and drag her out of the kitchen into my room. I slam the door shut, and stand in the way so she can’t escape. I deserve an explanation. “You’re the new sous chef?”
“Yep, so now I’m your boss.” She arches a brow, and crosses her arms in front of her chest proudly.
“Tell me you didn’t suck him off for the job?” She shrugs one shoulder, then with her finger, wipes at the side of her mouth. “Oh my God!” I say. “What about Floyd?”
“He doesn’t need to know,” she casually replies.
“So you’re willing to sleep with our boss to get a job you yourself said you’re not qualified for?” My shoulders sink, and my chest deflates from her cavalier attitude. “After what I told you?”
“He’s good-looking, I didn’t see a problem with it. And, he’s well connected, so who cares if I sucked him off to get the job?”
“Yasmin, don’t you see? You’ve actually betrayed not only yourself, but me too.”
“How did I betray myself?” she asks.
Of course, that’s the only thing she heard. I shake my head at the level of her betrayal. I suppose, everyone’s always let me down. Whatever made me think she’d be any different? “I can’t believe you,” I say in a small voice as I lean against the door.
“It was one blow-job, once.”
“You’re an idiot, Yasmin. That’s how bullshit like this starts. You think he’s going to stop now? You’ve given him ammunition to ask for more and more and more.”
“God, Tabitha, you’re such a prude.” She rolls her eyes as if I’ve done something wrong.
She’s let me down. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
“Maybe not, but I’m now your boss,” she proudly announces with a smirk.
“Pffft,” I scoff. “For how long? You’ve already lost my respect.” I walk over to my closest and get my suitcase. “Consider this my notice.”
“So, you’re quitting the restaurant? Boo-fucking-hoo.” She makes her hands into fists, and pretends to rub at her eyes. “No great loss.”
“What the hell is wrong with you? And yes, I’m quitting the restaurant, because unlike you, I believe in getting ahead because of my talent, not because of what I can do with my mouth. If that’s the girl you want to be known as, be my guest.” I start packing my suitcase. “And by the way, I’m moving out. Good luck with your future, Yasmin; you’re gonna need it.”
“Little Miss Prude thinks she can get ahead in a man’s world without opening her legs to do it.” She laughs derisively.
“It’s not about that. It’s about you betraying me. I was your friend, Yasmin. Instead, you used the information I told you, that he hit on me, and you let him hit on you!”
Yasmin throws her head back in a chuckle. “That’s where you’re wrong. I went to see him the moment you left, and told him I’d be happy to suck his cock if he promoted me to sous chef.”
I stop packing, and turn to her smug face. “The ultimate betrayal. Well, let’s hope he doesn’t have herpes, or chlamydia, or some other STD, because that’ll be hard to explain that to Floyd.” Yasmin’s smile quickly fades. “I’ll have my stuff moved out by the time you get home from work tomorrow. I’ll leave my half of the rent on the counter. Lose my number, and don’t ever try to contact me.” I throw as many clothes as I can into my suitcase and storm past her with my suitcase rolling behind me. I open my door, and walk past a confused-looking Floyd. “Get yourself tested for STDs, Floyd, because she just sucked off our boss for her promotion, and God only knows how many other people she’s been fucking behind your back.”
“Tabitha!” Yasmin screams to my retreating back.
“What the fuck!” Floyd yells.
“Get back here, you bitch!” Yasmin shrieks as I close the door behind me.
There’s a lot of yelling, screaming and cussing happening as I head to the elevator and press the button. I can’t believe she betrayed me. Everyone always tears me apart.
No more. I can’t do this anymore. The moment the elevator doors close, I burst into tears. I can’t let people keep taking advantage of me, and treating me like I’m nothing. My heart can’t take it anymore. Yasmin’s been my friend for years, and she doesn’t care about what she’s done to me.
I pull my phone out, and bring up Aunt May’s number.
“Hello?” she answers on the third ring.
“Aunt… aunt May?” I say between sobs.
“Oh darling, come home,” she says without me having to say a single word.
“Th… thank you.”
I’m going home to Aunt May’s. She’s the only one I’ll ever trust.
“When are you going back home?” Aunt May asks the morning after my rejection message from Charlie.
“I don’t know. Oh shit, what festival is on today? I can’t keep up with them, Aunt May.”
She laughs as she prepares our breakfast, and I sit at the island counter, watching her. “You should know, we don’t need an excuse for a festival.”
“Didn’t we just have one?”
“Hope River has them all the time. And we have for more years than I can remember, actually. Now, they’re just part of the town. And it helps everyone get together and bond.”
“Ugh. It feels like we had one a week ago.”
“We had one for the re-opening of Elle’s café. Which was weeks ago.”
“It wasn’t six weeks though.” I stand, and get the fresh orange juice out of the fridge, before setting the dining table. “Smells good,” I say as I look at the bacon cooking on the grill. My stomach joins the party and gurgles with hunger.
“I’m making a pasta salad, what are you making?”
“I don’t really want to go, Aunt May. Can I sit this one out?” She gazes over her shoulder at me, and narrows her eyes. “I take that as a no?”
“What are you making?”
“Do we have potatoes? I’ll make a potato salad.”
“Check the pantry. I think we’re running low on potatoes.”
I walk over to the pantry, open the door, and squat down to look in the storage container. “No potatoes,” I say. “Um.” Standing, I look at the ingredients in the pantry, trying to formulate something I can throw together. Something tasty, but easy. “You know what I’m going to make? I’m going to make my cornbread with dark gravy.”
Aunt May looks at me with a wide-eyed glance. “Oh no. Are you trying to put me in an early grave, Tabby? That cheesy jalapeño cornbread you make? The one you haven’t made in such a long time? Please tell me that’s the one you’re going to make?” she nearly begs.
“The one and only.”
“You have to make a double batch. Simple. And no questions. Double bat
ch, one for here and one for the festival.”
I giggle, Aunt May loves my cornbread with dark gravy. It’s one of her favorite dishes I make. Aunt May eats my cornbread like it’s a meal in itself. And I suppose, it is. I make sure I have all the ingredients for it, and of course, I do. “I’ll get to it after breakfast.”
I drive myself and Aunt May down to the festival, and it feels like these festivals are increasing in frequency. But I suppose if Aunt May loves them, then I may as well get used to them. I mean, they’re not bad. It just seems like they’re happening all the damn time.
“Why don’t you go make me a coffee?” Aunt May asks as she sits at a chair in front of Elle’s café. This is pretty much her regular spot.
I look around and chuckle. Funny thing is, I think the rest of the town knows this is her spot too. Because there are always people all around, except for where she normally sits. They reserve her seat for her. “Hi Gran,” Jake, Elle’s boyfriend and the town’s sheriff, says as he drags a chair out to sit beside her.
“Jacob, how are you my boy? How are things with Elle?”
I walk away, not listening to any more of their conversation. Inside the café, Elle and Hope are standing in the kitchen. Well, Hope’s standing in the kitchen, while Elle makes her contribution to this festival. They’re talking about something because Elle’s laughing and Hope’s shaking her head.
There’s a pang of envy deep within my gut, and for a split second, I’d love to be included in their laughter. But I know friends are only an illusion. Well, to me they’re illusory. Maybe Hope and Elle are lucky and neither of them will betray the other, but I haven’t experienced that in my life.
“Oh my God! Tabitha, you have to come out with us. Did I tell you about the time Hope and I got so drunk and Jake drove up when I had my head in the bushes vomiting?” Elle laughs and shakes her head.
“Nope, you didn’t,” I say.
“I was so drunk that night. That was crazy. I don’t even remember a lot of what happened,” Hope says. “You know, you definitely have to come out with us. You’ll have so much fun.”
“Yeah? Maybe,” I say as I walk around the counter, grab a mug and fill it with coffee for Aunt May.
“For Gran?” Elle asks as she intentionally looks at the mug.
“Yep, hang on and I’ll take it out to her.” I head out, and leave the mug next to Aunt May. She and Jake are deep in conversation, so I don’t interrupt them. Aunt May lifts her head and smiles, then turns and keeps speaking to Jake. I head back into the café to Elle and Hope.
“Why don’t we go out tonight? After the festival?” Hope asks.
“Oh, nah, not tonight,” I say. “I’ve gotta be up early to prep for tomorrow.” Hope nods, but I can see she’s disappointed. Hope and Elle seem like really good friends, and I don’t want to be a third wheel. “Do you need help?” I ask Elle as she’s taking things out of the oven.
“Not really, I’m pretty much done.”
I look to Hope, then Elle, smile and nod. “Okay, I’ll just go outside.”
I sit down opposite Aunt May, who’s still speaking with Jake. It feels awkward, like I’m not wanted anywhere I go. Jake stands, says hello to me and leaves, walking down the sidewalk until he sees Murray and stops to talk to him.
“What’s on your mind?” Aunt May asks. I shrug half-heartedly, feeling more isolated and alone than ever before. “Tabby, what is it?”
I look around and see so many people having fun, and couples who are kissing and holding hands, and I find myself envious of it all. “I’m alone, Aunt May. And I feel it too.”
“Well, the only way to rectify that problem is to get close to people.” I roll my eyes. “What, you think there’s another way?”
I shake my head, and let out a long, slow sigh. Turning my head to the right, I see Charlie walking toward the café. He’s walking with Evie. They’re close together, and she’s laughing at something he’s saying.
I can’t take my eyes off of him. Off of them.
Is he… are they… would he…?
My heart hurts, and I can feel my bottom lip quivering as I struggle to breathe. Aunt May follows my line of sight, and when she looks back at me, she says, “Ah, I see.”
I drag my eyes away from him, I can’t keep staring at Charlie. “I’m happy for him,” I say in an elevated voice.
“Yes, I can see,” Aunt May replies. “You’re so happy, you’re about to cry tears of joy,” she adds sarcastically. My stomach cramps, and my body trembles with hurt.
“He told me he wanted more, but he’s already moved on with Evie.”
“You have no idea what they are to each other. Nor do you know why they’re walking together. Don’t become emotional when you rejected him!”
“I didn’t reject him, Aunt May. He said no to me.”
“Darling girl, he put himself out there for you, and you said no thanks. That’s rejection.”
“But I offered to come around to have sex with him.”
“How would you feel if you wanted more, and all he wanted to do was get his dick wet? Especially if you told him how you felt? Would you like to be used for sex, only to be told, sorry, but I’m not interested in anything else? That boy is probably hurting, and his only way to stop the hurt, is to stop everything with you.”
I look at Aunt May, then to Charlie, then back to Aunt May. “I suppose,” I say.
“Girl, the only way forward is to make peace with your past, starting at base level. Which means your parents. And no one can do that for you. Only you can do that. There’s no other way.”
Tilting my head down, I wring my hands together, fidgeting with my fingers. “What if they still don’t care?” I ask in a small voice.
“Then you need to tell them how that makes you feel. You’ve bottled up years of their neglect, and those horrible words that cunt of a sister of mine spat toward you.” I look up at Aunt May, shocked that she used the C word. “Yes, I said it, and I’m sorry if it offended you. But she makes my blood boil.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, and heaves a breath. “That woman,” she mumbles, her brows drawn together in a fearsome scowl.
I sneak another look at Charlie. He and Evie appear to be close. This shouldn’t upset me, but it does. It hurts so much. “Why does it hurt, Aunt May?”
She turns her head to look at Charlie and his date, my employee, Evie. “I don’t know what you’re seeing, but there’s nothing going on there. Not even sex.”
“Can’t you see how close they are?” I ask as I point toward them, then quickly lower my arm before they notice.
“I think you’re jealous, even though to me, they’re nothing more than friends. That’s it.”
“Friends with benefits? That’s what Charlie and I were too.”
“Snap out of it, Tabitha. Snap. Out. Of. It! They’re not screwing, I can guarantee it,” she follows her words with a sigh filled with frustration.
“How do you know?” I push. Maybe she has some information that I don’t.
“Because that boy is in love with you. Gee, Tabby…” She shakes her head with irritation.
Yeah, right. He’s so in love with me, he’s all over Evie. And worst of all, he rejected me. What’s wrong with me? “I’m not feeling well, I think I’m going to go home,” I say to Aunt May. She runs her tongue over her teeth, while tilting her head to the side. She’s caught me in my own lie. “Okay then. I just don’t want to be here. Here, take my keys so you can drive home.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Go. I’ll ask Jake or someone to bring me home.”
“You could ask Charlie, unless he’s not coming home.” I roll my eyes.
“You’ve made your choice. You don’t get to ask questions.” She flicks her hand at me. “Off you go.”
Standing, I’m contemplating marching over to Charlie and telling him how much he’s hurt me. Fuck it, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I walk straight to Charlie, but in the background Aunt May is calling me back. I don’
t listen to her. I stomp up to Charlie, frustration, and anger bubbling inside of me. Before I reach him, Evie turns and walks in the opposite direction, not seeing me walk toward them. I get to Charlie, who gives me a double-take. “Tabitha,” he says with a strained smile.
“What the hell, Charlie? Not even three minutes after breaking up with me, you’ve already moved on?”
“Whoa.” Charlie holds his hands up and takes one cautious step backward. “You told me you don’t want or do relationships. So, you can’t reject me and be all jealous when you see me with someone else. And, for your information, not like it’s any of your business, but Evie was talking to me about fixing her shower head. That’s it. But hey, break my fucking heart, then march up to me with all your jealousy, and rip into me.”
“I’m not jealous,” I say.
“Yeah, of course not. That’s why you came at me like a bull to red.”
I want to scream and yell at him, but the only thing that will do is make me feel even worse. “Screw you.” I push my finger into his chest, before running to my car.
I drive home crying, and sobbing. Why do I have to be so damn defective?
The moment I’m home, I head straight to my room, and lock the door. Collapsing on the bed, I wrestle with the emotions swirling through me. Mostly though, I keep wondering who’d ever love someone so clearly broken?
“Tabitha, open up,” Aunt May calls from the other side of the door. I turn over in bed, ignoring her. “Tabitha!”
I hate my life. I hate how I’ve become. I hate everything about me.
“Tabitha, you need to open the door and let me in.”
“I’m tired, Aunt May, please let me sleep.”
I hear her breathe out a long breath. Then she shuffles away.
Thank God, because I’m in no mood to talk to anyone.
“Tabitha, you’ve been in your room for a day, and you haven’t come out. Open the door.”
“Tired!” I half-yell from bed.
“Come on, I’ve made you a sandwich.”
“Not hungry.”
She knocks a little louder. “Open the door.”
Healing Hearts: A friends with benefits, small town romance (Hope River Book 3) Page 10