“Hope River, a small town where everyone is willing to help. Ha, maybe that should be the motto.” I chuckle. “And everybody knows everyone else’s business.”
“I’m still getting used to that. It’s difficult to adjust to small town living, but I must admit, I’m really enjoying it.”
“Oh my God!” I squeal. “What’s that?” I place the flowers on whatever available counter space there is, and walk over to the kitchen. “You changed the faucets?”
“And installed hand rails too.” Is Charlie real? I mean, he’s done these things with no prodding from me. “You look confused. Are you unhappy with what I did?”
“I’m on emotional overload about everything. I’m overwhelmed by people’s kindness and so many other things. And, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it without retreating and putting all my barriers up.”
Charlie smirks. “Well, the fact you’re telling me this means you’re doing a damned good job of not putting up your barriers.”
“I’ve been alone for so long, and had to learn to rely only on myself. Now that people are reaching out to help, I’m conflicted and tempted to run away. It’s like I’m waiting for something bad to happen. For you to say something like, oh by the way, I’m screwing around with everyone until you decide you want this.”
Charlie runs his hand through his thick dark hair while shaking his head. “I’m not screwing around with anyone. And, just so you know, I haven’t been since you and I first got together. And I have no interest in anyone else but you.”
His words are sweet, and I know he means it, but I’m struggling to fully believe him. I’ve been burned so many times in the past, and Charlie seems too perfect to be true.
I’m praying I’m wrong and he is my forever guy. Because if he breaks my heart, I have no hope of ever finding love.
I hear the front door opening, and I leave Aunt May in the living room to go see who it is. “It’s just me,” Hope calls as she walks in. “I’ve come to see how the patient is.”
“After a week in the hospital, I think she’s glad to be home.”
“Is that Hope I hear?” Aunt May asks.
“It sure is,” Hope replies. I walk ahead of her to the living room where Aunt May is sitting in her recliner with the remote in her right hand. “How are you feeling?” Hope sits beside Aunt May and places her phone on her lap.
“I’m glad I’m home. But what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be over at Oak Tree Parade? You have five houses you have to flip.”
“I’m going to look at wedding dresses.” Hope rubs her forehead. She doesn’t appear to be enthusiastic about looking at dresses.
“Then why are you here?” I ask. “Wait, was I supposed to come with you?”
“You can if you like. And instead of wedding dresses we can stop off at the bar and have copious amounts of White Russians. How does that sound?” She perks up, seemingly more excited about alcohol than her wedding dress.
“You don’t want to go try on wedding dresses?” Aunt May asks.
“Ugh.” Hope falls back on the sofa, and pokes her tongue out. “I’m not cut out for this. It’s too much meh for me. Why can’t we just have it at one of the festivals? Just spring it on everyone, ‘Hey River and I are getting married right now. Come on over. Whoo.’” She shimmies her hands out to the side.
“If that’s what you want to do, then do it,” I say.
“River wants a whole proper wedding thing. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about wedding planning, and all that stuff brides do.”
“I think you’re the opposite of a bridezilla,” I say and chuckle.
“We’ve at least decided to hold the wedding in the back yard of the B&B. But the rest… ugh.” She closes her eyes and groans.
“Get River to take over if you don’t want to do these things. He’s the one who wants the proper wedding,” Aunt May says.
“I could, but that’s not fair to him. We’ve got so much going on at the moment. It just feels like bad timing, you know. We’ve got the five houses we’re flipping, and the family retreat at the back of the B&B, not to mention a couple of people have approached me to do renovations on their houses over in Mulberry Point. One of those firefighters, which one was he? Um.” Hope taps her bottom lip. “I think he’s Alec, or Alex.”
“Alec Morgan?” Aunt May asks.
“Yeah him. His Mom’s house needs a new bathroom or something. I don’t know. Anyway, he stopped by and asked us for some ideas. I don’t mind helping, it’s just trying to find the time.”
“You’re complaining about being so well-respected that people are clamoring to have you help them with their houses?” Aunt May says.
“I’m not complaining, Gran, I’m just saying I have a lot on my plate.”
“Then say no.”
“No, I don’t want to do that. I want to be able to help. Truthfully, I’d rather do that then this wedding stuff.”
“Then leave that wedding stuff for that boy of yours. Of all the places in the world, you both ended up here, together after many years of being apart. Don’t take this second chance for granted, Hope. Either commit to it, or don’t. But he loves you, and even though you whine like a baby, I know you love him too. Just get it done. The whole town is here to help if you want. You can loosen that white knuckle grip you have on everything, and let some other people in.”
“Someone had her ass handed to her,” I murmur under my breath.
“Besides, I have a bucket list of things I need to see before I die. And this little episode of mine reminds me that I’m not Wonder Woman. Who would’ve thought? And neither are you, Hope.” Aunt May sarcastically says with an overzealous eye roll.
“What’s the bucket list of things you want to see?” I ask.
“It would be nice for you and Charlie to marry, and to see Hope and River marry, and Elle and Jake too. And I’d like at least one, maybe two babies I can spoil to be born out of these unions.”
“Babies?” Hope and I say in unison, staring at Aunt May.
“Yes, babies. I’m partial to one from each couple.”
“I’m not having kids, Aunt May,” I say adamantly. “Look at what I had to deal with.”
“There go your walls again. Not giving this thing with Charlie a chance before making a decision to shut out the possibility of a future.”
“No, I’m not…” I argue.
“Really? Then why are babies out of the equation?”
I look over to Hope and whisper help. “Hey, her focus is on you, not me. So I ain’t saying nothin.’” Hope holds her hands up in surrender.
“Don’t you have a dress to shop for?” I retort. If she isn’t helping me, then she may as well go dress shopping.
Hope stands rapidly, and grabs her phone. “I was just thinking that myself. I’m out of here, I need to find a dress.”
“Where are you going? Mulberry Point?” I ask.
“Yes, ma’am. Apparently, there are two bridal stores over there. I’ll have a look and see what catches my eye. Anyway, can I borrow you and Elle next week to go over food and things?” She takes a step away. “Oh, wait. There’s a festival next week isn’t there? Maybe the week after?”
“Oh yeah, there’s a festival next weekend. I’ve lost track of what it’s for. But guess what, Aunt May? Dad’s coming to it. He told me the next festival to let him know because he wants to come.”
“Oh good. We’ll get the spare room ready for him.”
“Actually, he said he’d be more comfortable staying at the B&B for a few days.”
“I’m gone. See ya, Gran.” Hope bends and gives Aunt May a kiss. Then she tilts her head to the side in a signal for me to follow her out. I walk Hope out to her truck. “Look, I just want you to know, there’s no pressure for you and my brother to… you know. Any of it,” she says stuttering through that awkwardly.
“As in get married and have babies?” I shake my head, even to me that sounds like something so far-fetched as to be f
antastical. Me married, yeah right.
“Yeah. In truth, I think you’d rock it as my sister-in-law, you know, ‘cause obviously, then I wouldn’t be the only awesome one in the family.” Hope pretends to flick her hair with sass.
I really like Hope. She’s easy to be around. She doesn’t complicate anything. “Now, look. We have to get these wedding details narrowed down, or you’re going to end up with brisket, salads, and bread rolls. But, next week, let’s get a cake planned. At least that’ll be one thing crossed off the list. And, promise me you’ll seriously look for a dress.”
“I promise.” Hope lowers her shoulders. “I think brisket, salads, and bread rolls sounds awesome!” she yells the last word. She gets in her truck and starts it, then winds her window down and places her arm on the edge. “You know,” she says as she reaches for her sunglasses and slides them onto her nose. “I’m actually really liking the brisket idea.”
“I was kidding,” I say, shocked she’d actually consider it.
“I’m not. Let me talk to River, and I’ll get back to you about the brisket. Is it doable?”
“Anything is doable. If you both want brisket, I can do that.”
She looks like she’s deep in thought as she nods. “Alright then. This whole thing might not suck after all.”
I chuckle, and walk back to the house. To say Hope is a simple kind of girl is an understatement. She’s easy with everything, and not over the top or fake about anything. I really like that about her. “Aunt May, are you hungry?”
“I could do with a glass of water please.” No quicker do I have a glass of water to her, when there’s another knock on the door. “Wow, I never knew my house to be such a hub of activity.”
“Hello?” I hear someone call from the door.
I walk toward it, and see Serena waiting. “Hi Serena. How are you?”
“I’m good. Here to get started. Where’s the patient today?”
“She’s in the living room. Down this way.” I lead her to where Aunt May is lounging in her recliner as if it’s a throne.
“This is a beautiful house, May,” Serena says as she looks around. “Wow, look at the details.”
“I didn’t think I’d see you ’til later. Like much later,” Aunt May says with a sour tone.
“Awe, look at that. You’ve missed me. Because I knew you would, I’ve got some extra special resistance exercises for you to do. You’re gonna love them so much, May,” Serena responds with sarcasm.
“You know, I’m not a very big fan of yours, Serena.”
I walk out giggling. “What was that, May? You want me to increase the resistance. I’d love to.”
“I’m going to shut up now, because you’re going to end up making me into Miss Bodybuilder USA,” Aunt May gripes.
I pour myself a glass of cold water, and retreat to the front porch. Aunt May and Serena seem to feed off each other. Serena responds to my aunt exactly the way my aunt needs to be talked to.
“I’m not sure how long I don’t have to cook for. We’ve got food coming out everywhere, and you know what’s most amazing?”
“What?” Aunt May repositions herself on the chair I brought into the kitchen for her, while I prepare our plates for dinner.
“No two dishes are the same. There’s so much food.”
“Is Charlie joining us tonight?” Aunt May asks. I look down to the two plates, and shake my head. “Did you ask him?”
“He’s been working a lot, and he might not want to be here tonight.”
“Ah, I see. Is it all getting too real for you, Tabitha?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then why is that boy over in the stable, and we’re in here?”
“I’ve been feeling like maybe this is all going too fast for me, and maybe I need to take a break from him.”
“Ah, yes. So you want to push him away, and revert to your normal self. Good plan.”
I swing my head sideways to look at my aunt. “You know what I hate most?”
“That I call you on your shit?”
I grit my teeth. “Yes.”
“I can talk to you until I lose my voice. If you’ve made your mind up that you want to push him away, well, darling, you’re doing a great job. I just think you need to pull your head out of your ass. Jesus, Tabby, you’re so stubborn! I’ll let you in on a secret. Come here.” She gestures with her finger to come closer. I lean in. “Closer.” I wipe my hands with a tea towel and bend down so I’m down on Aunt May’s level. She smacks me across the back of my head. “Stop being an asshole and invite that boy over now.”
I straighten and back away with a smile. I should’ve known she’d do something like that. “Alright, alright. I’ll stop being an asshole, okay?”
She sighs dramatically. “About time. Sheesh!”
I walk out of the side door and automatically look for Charlie’s truck, which is where it usually is. I head out to the converted stables, and knock on the door. “Hey,” Charlie says answering the door in just his jeans. My eyes take in his taut, strong chest, and travel all the way to where his jeans sit on his hips. His V peeks out from just above the jeans, and I find myself licking my lips. What makes him extra delicious is the tattoo on his ribcage. The eagle with its wings spread open as it’s swooping down with sheer determination. “You’re undressing me with your eyes, Pop Rock. And I’m shamelessly loving it.”
“What? No, I wasn’t.” But for some reason, my eyes can’t seem to raise to look into his. I’m so turned on right now. “I’m…” I purse my lips together. “Here.” I bite on my lip. My heartrate increases as my breathing hitches. “To um.” Shit, what am I here for?
Charlie moves and leans on the door, extending his arm above his head. “Tabitha?” He’s posing for me. Yes!
I swallow loudly, before finally tearing my gaze away from his sculptured torso. Jesus, those tattoos. “So, um.” I take a second trying to regain some kind of rational thought process. “Um., right, yes. Um.” I shake my head, then hook my thumb over my shoulder. “Aunt May wants you to come to dinner.”
“No,” Charlie says flatly.
“What? Why not?” I crinkle my brows, confused.
“Because you said May wants me to come to dinner.”
“And that’s a problem, why?”
“Because you don’t want me there.” He moves again, and crosses his arms in front of his chest.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then you lead with that, Pop Rock. You don’t tell me your seventy-year-old aunt wants me there, you tell me you want me to come to dinner.” He steps back, looks down at his bare feet, then lifts his head with a smirk.
“Oh, um. I’d like you to come to dinner.”
“Why?”
“Jesus, it’s just dinner, Charlie. If you want to come, come, if you don’t, don’t!” I snap at him as I step back.
“Are you going to run now?”
“What?” I turn back, angry at him.
“You’re doing what you usually do. Right?”
“What the fuck do you want from me, Charlie? I came over to invite you to dinner, and now you’re making a huge mess out of it all. What do you want?”
“It’s not what I want, it’s what you want.” He strides out of the stable toward me. I step up to him, and point my finger in his face, ready to yell and scream. I lower my hand, swing around and walk a few steps, before turning again and marching straight up to him. “What is it you want?” he asks calmly.
I can’t do this. Not with him. Not like this, and definitely not now. I throw my arms up in surrender.
“Those walls will only get higher, Tabitha, unless you face them head-on.”
I stomp back to him for a third time, and poke him in the chest so hard, he stumbles back half a step. “You don’t need to tell me about my fucking walls, Charlie. I know they’re there. I’m absolutely ruled by them, devastated that I even have them. Don’t for one minute think I’m not reminded about my high fucking walls every moment of
every fucking day.” I’m so angry that my emotions are sizzling and erupting through my eyes. “I’m so terrified that you will never love me, that I’m doing everything I can to push you away before you reject me. My life has always been this way, and now someone wonderful has found his way to me, and I’m so frightened he’ll disappear. Because if my own mother can’t love me, then, how can you?” I stand still, speechless and confounded by my own admission. Oh shit. I collapse to my knees, broken.
Charlie sweeps me up into his arms, and hugs me close to his body I can feel the heat rolling off of him and into me. He carries me into the house, and when we get to Aunt May I hear her gasp. “It’s okay, Gran, Tabitha needs some sleep.”
“Take care of her, Charlie,” she replies softly.
“I will. Are you okay?”
“I’m tired myself. Good night.”
It appears dinner has been forgotten.
Charlie takes me to my room, which now has the door reattached, thankfully. He sets me on the bed, before laying down, and pulling me toward him. With my head on his chest, I can hear his heartbeat. Closing my eyes, I listen to the rhythm of his strong, steady heart. “You’re easy to love, Tabitha. If only you could love yourself the way I do.”
I pretend I didn’t hear that, because it’s easier to not respond, than to try and justify how wrong he is. Problem is, he’s not wrong at all.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
But mostly, how is Charlie not sick of me yet?
Does he actually love me? He can’t. I’m unlovable.
Right.
Right?
Opening my eyes, I find I’m alone in bed. But I can hear soft voices coming from the kitchen. Stretching, I resolve myself to apologize to Charlie for acting like a complete and utter nut job last night. I know I said things I shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel them. I just shouldn’t have said anything.
I get up out of bed, and head down the hallway to where Aunt May is sitting on a chair and Charlie is cooking. Neither have seen me as I lean against the wall watching them interact.
I’m not even interested in what they’re talking about, more in how they are around each other. It fills my heart with so much happiness when I see how easy they are. It’s like they’re old friends with a deep connection.
Healing Hearts: A friends with benefits, small town romance (Hope River Book 3) Page 17