"I hope this isn't a mistake," she said.
"We'll be fine," I said. "I bet I'll bring Matt home with me."
But by the time I reached the driveway I wasn't even sure I'd make it to where Jon was. It didn't seem to matter how many layers of clothes I had on, the wind was so fierce it cut right through everything. I especially felt it on my face. I put the scarf over my mouth and nose, but even so my face burned with the cold. The snow and the darkness made it impossible for me to see anything except what the lamp illuminated. I stumbled several times and the wind blew me over twice. The snow seeped through my pants and even my long johns grew cold and wet.
At one point I pulled the scarf away from my mouth so I could gulp air. But I fell into the snow and swallowed a mouthful, which got me coughing. I wanted to give up and go back to the sunroom, to the woodstove. But Jon was out there waiting for me to relieve him. My idea. My big bright idea.
I have no idea how long it took me to get to Jon. He was jumping up and down, the light swinging wildly.
"You stay warmer that way," he told me.
I nodded and told him to go back to the house. I gestured toward where I remembered the house to be. "Tell Mom I'm fine," I said, even though we both knew it was a lie.
"I'll be back in a few minutes," he said.
I watched as he began trudging back. But in a minute or two I couldn't see him anymore, even though I knew he wasn't very far away.
As I stood out there I began laughing at myself, at how desperate I'd been to be alone. Now I was as alone as any human being could be, and all I wanted was to be back in the sunroom with Matt and Jonny and Mom and Horton all taking up space.
I knew I'd be okay as long as I stayed put. I wasn't going to get lost and Mom would see to it I wasn't out long enough to freeze to death or even to get frostbite. The only one of us in danger was Matt.
But with the wind whipping around and the snow blinding me and my entire body freezing from the cold and the damp, it was hard to feel safe and secure. In addition to everything else, I was hungry. I'm always hungry except right after supper, but I was hungry the way I get right before supper, so I figured it must be around 5.
I realized Jon was right about moving around so I jogged in place. I was doing okay until a gust of wind caught me off guard and I fell into the snow and the oil lamp went out.
It took all my strength, physical and emotional, to keep from hysteria. I told myself I'd be okay, that Jon would find me, that Matt would get home, that the lamp could be relit, that everything was going to be fine.
But for a moment there I felt as though I'd been thrown into a snow globe by some powerful giant, that I was a prisoner and would never be free. I felt as though the world really was coming to an end and even if Matt made it home, we would all die anyway.
There was no point getting off the ground. I sat there, holding on to the useless lamp, waiting for Jonny, waiting for Matt, waiting for the world to finally say, "That's enough. I quit."
"Miranda?"
Was it Matt? Was it the wind? Was it a hallucination? I honestly didn't know.
"Miranda!"
"Matt?" I said, struggling to get up. "Matt, is that really you?"
"What are you doing here?" he asked and the question was so dumb but so reasonable I burst out laughing.
"I'm rescuing you," I said, gasping, which only made me laugh louder.
"Well, thank you," Matt said. I think he laughed then, also, but the wind and my madness made it hard for me to tell.
"Come on," he said, reaching down to pull me up. "Let's go home."
We began walking against the wind toward the drive. Matt walked his bike on one side and held on to me on the other. At one point the wind blew me down and I pushed him down and he pushed the bike down. It took us a moment to get back upright and by the time we had, we could see Jon's oil lamp bobbing in the distance.
There was no point calling out to Jon, but we used the lamp as a guide and slowly made our way toward it. When we reached Jon he hugged Matt so hard I thought he'd drop the lamp and we'd all be there in total darkness. But the lamp stayed lit and we forged our way back to the house.
We went in through the front door and when we did, Matt called out, "We're home!"
Mom came racing as fast as she could toward us. Of course she hugged Matt first, but then she embraced me like she'd been as afraid for me as she had been for him.
Mom made all of us dry off completely and change all our clothes and then we sat by the woodstove to defrost. All our faces were red, but Matt swore he was okay and not frostbitten.
"I would have gotten home sooner, but I didn't want to leave my bike," he said as we sat by the fire. "It was just Henry and me at the post office, and for a while we didn't realize it was snowing. Finally someone came in and told us it had been snowing for a couple of hours and we'd better get home right away. I would have gone with Henry, but he lives nearly as far from the post office as we do only in a completely different direction so that didn't make any sense. I was afraid if I left the bike I'd never see it again. You know how things are. Besides I didn't know if it was going to keep snowing or if it was just a squall. I hoped I'd be able to bike some of the way home, but that was impossible."
"You're not going back to the post office," Mom said. "I won't have it."
"We'll talk about that next Friday," Matt said. "In the meantime I'm not going anywhere."
At first I thought Mom was going to put up a fight, but then she just sighed.
"I'm hungry," Jon said. "Isn't it suppertime?"
"I'll make some soup," Mom said. "I think we could all use some."
We had soup first and then macaroni with marinara sauce. A two-course meal, proof that this was a special-event day.
We spent the evening going to the front door and peering out at the snow with a flashlight. I'm going to go back there once I finish writing this and then I'll go to sleep.
I don't know if I want it to snow all night long or if I want it to stop. If it snows, that's more water for us. But there's something frightening about this storm, even though we are all safe at home.
It doesn't matter. I can't do anything about it. It'll snow it won't no matter what I want.
I just want this day to be over with.
December 3
It snowed all night and it's snowed all day.
The recycling bins are full of snow so Jon and Matt brought them in and we moved the snow into bottles and jars. Then we put the bins back out.
The garbage can was half full of snow. We figure there's been close to two feet of snow and it doesn't look like it's letting up any,
"We'll be okay for water now," I said, just to make sure "The snow will last outside for a long time, so we can just bring it in and boil it when we need water. Right?"
"I don't see why not," Matt said. "I don't think we'll worry about water for a while. Besides, maybe it will snow again."
"Thanks, but no thanks," Mom said.
"It doesn't have to be a blizzard," Matt said. "But a few inches now and again could come in handy."
"And we're okay for wood?" I asked. I was in the mood for reassurance.
"We should be fine," Matt said.
I've decided to believe him. It's not like we can go to the Wood 'n' Water store if we need any.
Now that I think about it, I'm not sure we can go anywhere. The roads won't be plowed, and I doubt anyone is going to shovel 4 miles of snow.
It's a good thing we still like each other.
December 4
When we got up this morning we found it had stopped snowing during the night. We couldn't see anything from the sunroom (which is really dark from the snow covering the skylights), but we went first to the living room and then to the front door and checked things out.
Because of the wind, the snow had drifted around. There were some stretches of land that hardly had any snow at all and other places where the snow was close to 5 feet high. I've never seen snow that high and
I couldn't decide whether to be excited or scared.
We went back into the house. Mom took some of last night's snow and made us hot cocoa. Chocolate with an ashy taste is still better than no chocolate at all.
"Well," Matt said when we were all warm and cozy. "Are we ready for some problems?"
I would have said no but what good would that have done?
"We need to clear the snow off the roof of the sunroom," he said.
"Why?" Jon asked.
"Just a precaution," Matt said. "Snow can be heavy and we don't know if this is the last of it for the winter. We don't want the roof caving in on us."
"I don't want you on the roof," Mom said. "It's too dangerous."
"It'll be a lot more dangerous if the roof caves in," Matt said. "That could kill us. It WILL kill us actually because if we lose the sunroom, we lose the woodstove. I'll be careful, but it has to get done."
"You said 'problems,'" Jon said.
"The ladder is in the garage," Matt said. "So are the shovels."
"Let's see if there's snow in front of the garage," Mom said. She went to the sunroom door and tried to open it. But no matter how hard she pushed, the door stayed shut.
"There must be snow against it," Matt said. "But we can get out through the front door."
So we did. But instead of being able to look out the sun room door to see how the garage was, we had to walk over to the driveway to get a look.
Just walking a couple of feet was exhausting. You had to lift each leg high to get it onto the snow, like exaggerated giant steps, and then the snow was so soft your leg sank right through it.
"It should be pretty easy to shovel," Jon said.
"That's good," Matt said. "Because we're going to have a lot to do."
We made it to the sunroom door. The snow was 4 feet high. No wonder Mom couldn't open it.
"Well, that's on our list to shovel," Matt said. "Now let's see how the garage is."
The garage was real bad. The snow had drifted higher than the padlock.
"We need the shovel," I said. "Are you sure it's in the garage?"
Matt and Jon both nodded. Mom took a deep breath and then she coughed. "We'll have to move the snow away by hand," she said. "The garage doors open out, so we don't have a choice. I think pots and pans will make the job go faster, and we'll all work on it. Jon, go to the house and put the pots and pans in a garbage bag and bring them back here. We'll do what we can by hand until you get here."
Jon began the long trudge back to the front door. Once he was out of hearing range, Mom turned to Matt and said, "How bad is it really?"
"Well, we're certainly isolated," Matt said. "I saw Dad's old pair of cross-country skis in the garage once. The shoes that go with them, too. They'll give us some mobility. Bikes will be useless. Forget driving. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but it's a relief Mrs. Nesbitt is gone."
"I thought the same thing," Mom said. "Do you think the roads will be cleared at any point?"
Matt shook his head. "There aren't enough people left to shovel the roads out, and there isn't enough gas for the snow-plows. Maybe the townspeople will clear the main streets out, but that's going to be it. We're on our own."
"I'm thinking about the hospital," Mom said.
"I've been thinking about that, too," Matt said. "We can't get there. Peter can't get to us. And I don't think the snow is going to melt before April or May. And there's the risk of more snow."
"I like Peter," I said. "But it's not the end of the world if we don't see him for a few weeks. Or even a few months."
"That's not it," Matt said. "What if one of us needs a doctor or the hospital? What happens then?."
"We'll just be careful," Mom said. "So we won't need a doctor. Now come on, let's see how much of this snow we can remove by hand before Jonny discovers all we've been doing is talking."
The snow got inside all our gloves, and our pant legs grew wet, too. We were relieved when Jon returned with the pots and pans. We each took one and used it as a minishovel. The pans speeded the process, but it still took a long time before the garage doors looked like they could be opened.
Then Mom realized the key to the padlock was in the house so we had to wait until Matt went back, got the key, and returned. Even when he did, it wasn't that easy to get the garage doors opened. But we cleared some more and we all pulled together and much to our relief the door finally opened.
There were two shovels right by the door. There was also a 20-pound bag of rock salt, which claimed it would melt ice in below-zero temperatures.
"If it doesn't," Mom said, "we can always demand a refund."
This struck all of us as so funny we couldn't stop laughing until the coughing took over.
"Two shovels," Matt said. "One for me and one for Jon. Let's get started."
"No," Mom said. "I want us all to go to the house first and eat something. And we should take some aspirin."
"We'll be fine," Matt said. "You don't have to worry."
"Worrying is what I do," Mom said. "Occupational hazard of motherhood. Now everybody back to the house for food and aspirin."
"What's the aspirin for?" I whispered to Matt as we made our way to the front door.
"Our hearts," Matt said. "I guess Mom thinks we have the hearts of sixty-year-olds."
"I heard that," Mom said. "I just don't want you taking any more chances than you have to. Besides, you'll be aching all over by the time you're finished. You might as well start on the aspirin now."
Mom was certainly right about the aching all over. Just shoveling the snow out with a pot made my shoulders and upper back hurt. And I loved the idea of lunch (which turned out to be soup and spinach—I guess Popeye did his share of snow shoveling).
Once we'd eaten, Matt and Jonny went to work, first clearing out the sunroom door, then creating walkways from the house to the garage and from the front door to the road. Then they got the ladder and cleared off all the snow from the sunroom roof. It took them a long time, but they seemed to enjoy it.
"While they're shoveling, let's do some laundry," Mom said to me. "I'll boil down the snow and you do the washing."
"Women's work," I muttered, but the truth is much as I don't care for washing Jon's underwear, I sure don't want him washing mine.
If I thought my back hurt from the shoveling, it was nothing compared to how I felt after doing all the laundry. On the one hand it was exciting actually having water to wash clothes with. We had done a little with Mrs. Nesbitt's water, but we haven't since then and that was about a month ago.
But laundry is hard, hard work. For starters, snow melts down into not very much water, so Mom was constantly having to refill the pot on the woodstove. And of course the water was gray toned, which makes it harder to believe that the clothes are actually clean. Then I'd overcompensate with laundry detergent, and it would take forever to rinse it out. The water was really hot from the woodstove and the kitchen really cold, since it has no heat, and my poor body didn't know what to feel. My hands and face got steamy hot and my feet and legs stayed ice cold. Then once each sink load was washed and rinsed, I had to squeeze all the clothes dry, which took even more energy than the washing and rinsing. All this for clothes that are permanently dingy.
Mom strung up a clothesline in the sunroom because if we hang wet clothes in any of the other rooms they'll freeze. So now the sunroom has the smell of wet laundry to go along with everything else. At least the clothesline is nowhere near the mattresses. I don't want clothes dripping on my face while I'm sleeping.
Matt and Jonny did the roof clearing and while they were at it, they cleared the snow off the skylights, so whatever light is out there we now get.
I'm too tired to be scared. I wonder how I'll feel in the morning.
December 5
Mom told us to get back to our schoolwork.
"Snow day," Jonny said.
Mom didn't argue. I almost wish she had.
December 7
We've been coop
ed up in the sunroom for almost a week now. I thought it was bad before, but this is ridiculous. At least before Matt and Jonny could go out and chop wood all day long. Now they're stuck inside, too.
Sometimes one of us invents an errand to take us away from the others. I'm still in charge of bedpans and chamber pots so I have to walk about 50 feet from the house for that lovely job. Jon cleans out Horton's litter so he has to go outside at least once a day (besides, he and Matt use the outdoors as a bathroom, poor guys). Matt brings in snow for our water needs. Only Mom never leaves the house.
But we'll all suddenly remember something we have to get from our bedrooms or the pantry, and no matter how cold the rest of the house is, it feels like heaven just to get by yourself for a few minutes.
Tomorrow is Friday so Matt went out with the crosscountry skis to see if he could make it into town. Much to Mom's great relief, he came back and said he couldn't. He never really liked cross-country skiing and the snow is very light and powdery and he doesn't have the skill and probably not the strength to manage 4 miles.
On the one hand I'm kind of glad to know there's something Matt refuses to try. On the other hand, much as I love him, it might have been nice not having him around for a few hours. If it's only December, what are we going to be like by February?
December 10
Jon was making himself a can of green peas for lunch when all of a sudden he turned to us and said, "How come none of you eat lunch?"
It's funny. We haven't in ages, but Jon was always outside with Matt and I guess he figured Matt ate a big breakfast or something. He didn't know what Mom or I were doing. But now that we're breathing the same air constantly, Jon finally noticed.
"Not hungry," Matt said. "When I'm hungry, I eat."
"Same here," I said with a big false smile on my face.
"We all eat when we need to," Mom said. "Don't let what we do stop you, Jonny."
"No," Jon said. "If you're all just eating one meal a day, then that's what I should do, too."
We all said, "No!" Jonny looked absolutely horrified and ran out of the room.
Last Survivors 01 - Life as We Knew It Page 22