Which is a bad idea because my sense of touch becomes immensely heightened when her breasts brush innocently against me...just below my chest.
"Sorry," she blurts, and my eyes fly open. She's frozen in place, her eyes staring at me with confusion and yearning.
I immediately turn my face away from hers and toward the window that looks out over the front of the house. In a low voice and through clenched teeth, I say, "Just go get in the shower, Kate."
She hurriedly scrambles past me, leaving tingles across my chest in her wake and the beginnings of a hard-on in my jeans. I hear the door to her bathroom slam shut behind her.
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
What in the hell is wrong with me? Lusting after Ben's nanny? Craving just a slight touch to her face? Getting a hard-on from the barest graze of tits against me?
I feel like a damn teenager.
No, that's not quite right.
I feel like a man who hasn't felt anything for four long months, and who is just now starting to wake up. And because these sensations are so foreign and new once again, they are magnified.
They feel fucking fantastic.
And I want more, God help me.
God help Kate too, because I know she wants it as well.
I don't give my conscience another chance to weigh in, instead turning in place and circling around the covered furniture toward Kate's bathroom. I don't hesitate when my hand reaches toward the knob and I throw the door open.
The only thing that's going to stop me is if Kate says "no," but until such time, I'm going to reach out and grab on to more of these new feelings. Like a fucking magnet to metal, I don't have any choice but to be led to where my nature tells me to go.
Kate whirls around to face me, her hair flying around her shoulders. Thank fuck she took her hair down, and I let my eyes roam over the soft locks as they float and finally settle over her shoulders.
Kate's eyes are wide with uncertainty and her head tilts to the side. "Zack?"
I don't answer her. I just walk into the small bathroom and draw her into me, one hand curled around the back of her neck and my other arm around her waist. She doesn't try to back away or pull free. In fact, she only gives a startled gasp before my mouth descends on her.
I press against her hard, making her lips part, and my tongue moves in swiftly.
And goddamn...my head spins with the sensation of kissing Kate.
Kissing the fuck out of Kate.
Seeking more, I bend her backward, kissing her harder. Her hands come and grab on to my shoulders, a good sign that she won't say no to me.
My hand skates up under her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her back as my fingers splay wide to touch as much of her as I can. Kate shivers against me...just because I'm touching her back, and that reaction alone has me going fully hard.
Loath to break contact of our mouths, because I'm afraid she may try to stop me, I release my hold on her neck and bring that hand to her front. I slip it under the hem of her shirt and skim my fingers up over her ribs until I'm palming a deliciously full breast.
Kate arches her back and moans hard into my mouth, and fuck me...that's the sexiest sound I've ever heard in my life.
My breathing starts to get heavy and my cock is pulsing in my pants. A flash of worry passes through me. She can't be forced. I need to know if she wants me to stop or not, so I pull my face away from hers.
Her eyes are closed, so I wait for her to open them. When she does, her look is glazed as she tries to focus on me.
"Do you want me to stop, Kate?" I ask her urgently, squeezing her breast gently, then rubbing my thumb over her nipple that's puckered hard against her bra.
She moans again and then pushes her hips against me in a move that's wanton and demanding. Christ...my dick is aching so bad and her grinding against me is torture. I need this to end one way or the other.
"Kate," I say harshly so I can get her attention. Her eyes focus a little on me. "Do you want me to stop?"
Her brow furrows inward for a second, then she blows out a soft breath from her lips. "I'll die if you do," she says quietly and I know I'm an absolute goner.
Chapter 14
Kate
Nothing in my life has ever felt this good. One of Zack's hands on my breast, another spread wide against my back. The hard muscles in his shoulders jumping under my hands and his erection pushing against my stomach.
If life were to end for me right now, I could go to the great beyond with the satisfaction of just what I'm feeling in this moment. "Kate," Zack growls at me, and I try to focus in on him rather than on the lust that's coursing through me. "Do you want me to stop?"
Stop? Is he kidding?
"I'll die if you do," I tell him honestly.
Because I will...I'll die if he stops.
"Good answer," Zack rasps out before kissing me hard again.
It's a brief kiss, though, one of thanks for giving the correct answer. The minute his lips pull away from mine, his hands are lifting my shirt over my head.
"Need to see this body again," he says, more to himself than me.
For a brief moment, I panic. First I try to remember if I shaved this morning, and relief courses through me as I definitely remember doing that. Second, and more important, we're standing in a brightly lit bathroom and I'm wearing a cheap white cotton bra that's frayed on the edges and a pair of uninspiring panties that would do my name Roberta proud.
I start to pull away from him, suddenly self-conscious as my hands come up to cross over my chest and hide my bra.
"Don't," Zack warns me in a tight voice, causing my arms to freeze in midair. "No more hiding."
"But you'll never want to call me Kate again," I say piteously.
Zack's eyebrows draw together in confusion. "What?"
"I'm not wearing sexy lingerie." I try to make my explanation sound rational and mature. "You seem like the type of guy that appreciates sexy lingerie. When you see mine, you'll see I'm only good enough for the name Roberta."
He gives me an immediately chastising look while trying to hide his grin. "Christ, Kate...I don't give a fuck what your panties look like. I want to get to what's underneath."
"But you have to go through my completely asexual underwear to reach the prize. You'll be sorely disappointed--"
Zack mutters a curse and grabs hold of one of my hands. He pulls it down and then shoves it against his erection, pressing my fingers around it. "Feel that, Kate?"
I nod and my fingers squeeze him reflexively.
"I'm hard as a fucking rock for you right now. Trust me, I will not be turned off by your underwear."
Oh, wow, that sounds nice...and hot.
"Okay." I sigh in capitulation and close my eyes, giving him the green light to move forward. I reluctantly pull my hand away from between his legs and bring both of my hands up to curl into his shirt, desperately trying to drag him toward me for another kiss.
"Any other concerns, Kate?" Zack's voice rumbles over me while his body doesn't move an inch despite my tugging.
My eyes fly back open, taking in all of Zack's raw intensity focused on me right now. He leans down and bites my lower lip, then gives it a soft kiss.
He continues on. "Because you do understand that I want to fuck you, right?"
Oh, God, I surely hope so. I give him a tentative nod.
"Good," he tells me ominously. "Because I'm not stopping again, okay?"
"Okay," I breathe out in contentment, a satisfied smile across my face.
"Five fucking months," he says softly as his hands come up to my back and undo the clasp on my bra. He steps back to peel the material away from me. He pays no attention to my bra, but rather pins his eyes to my breasts.
"Five months?" I ask hesitantly, mesmerized by the way he's gazing at me.
His eyes drag up to mine, looking almost pained to leave my breasts. "Since I've felt anything."
Sorrow fills me over the naked honesty in his voice. Then
I'm immediately humbled that I'm the one who's making him feel something at this moment.
Zack's hands come up and cover my breasts, squeezing them gently. "I'm not stopping now that I found it."
"You don't have to," I assure him breathlessly, warm tingles of pleasure starting to churn low in my belly.
"Let's see the rest of you," Zack says as his hands drop to my jeans.
"I want to see you too," I blurt out, feeling self-conscious in my seminudity while he's still fully covered. Zack's hands drop from my pants and he gives me a knowing smile.
Taking a step back, he reaches down and pulls his shirt over his head in that sexy way a man does when he crosses his arms at the hem of his shirt and lifts it up slowly, or at least the way they do that in the movies. He drops the offending material to the bathroom floor, and oh, my Lord...Zack without a shirt on.
No words to describe.
My eyes roam all over him, taking in the sleek muscles of his chest with his nipples hardened and a slight smattering of hair. His stomach is flat, with rolling hills of tight muscle throughout, with another patch of hair starting just under his belly button and disappearing into the jeans that are hanging low on his hips.
He's a work of art.
When my eyes slide up again, all the way to his face, I'm almost knocked backward by the way his eyes are blistering with need. There's a moment when everything seems to freeze as both of us take stock of which way this could go.
Soft and slow or frenzied rush.
We both come to the same conclusion as we slam ourselves into each other's arms, our mouths fusing together in a scorching kiss fueled by lust and craving.
Our hands roam quickly over each other as we kiss, eventually working at each other's pants. Zack seems to be more sure of himself, because it takes him no time at all to get my jeans undone and both hands snaking into the back and under the waistband of my panties. He briefly squeezes my ass before pushing the material down, which causes my own hands to get knocked away from his zipper as he works to get me naked. He pulls roughly at the jeans, yanking them down my legs and off my feet as I hold on to his shoulders.
When I'm completely bare, he takes a moment to put his hands on my hips and leans back on his haunches, looking directly at my most intimate of places.
"So fucking beautiful," he says reverently, but then he's pushing to his feet and our mouths are locked together again.
He kisses me thoroughly, humming deep in his throat. One hand goes back to my breast and the other slides down my stomach and tentatively touches me between my legs. I arch into him, inviting more, and he rewards me by sliding his fingers through my swollen lips. I can feel how slick and wet I am, and he knows it too, using the moisture to coat his fingers and swirl them around my clit.
And oh, God...the most amazing feeling ever.
My hands go back to fumbling with his zipper, and just when I think I've got it in my grasp, he sinks a finger deep inside of me.
"Aaaghh," I moan as I throw my head back and grind myself on his hand.
"Fuck, Kate," Zack groans. "That is so fucking sexy."
I'm so delirious with pleasure that I have no control over my words. "Oh, man, you really do justice to a good F-bomb," I say.
I can feel Zack's body shake with a laugh and I want to reciprocate, but it's far from funny when he pushes another finger into me. I cry out, then immediately bite down on the inside of my cheek so I don't make a fool of myself.
I make one more attempt to get inside Zack's pants and finally--thank you, sex gods above--the zipper opens and my hand is diving inside past his boxers. My fingers nudge against his dick, finally wrapping around his hardness while my other hand pushes at the waistband of his pants to get them lower.
Zack groans when I pull him free and start stroking him, causing him to pump his fingers in me harder. My body starts to tighten and my brain fogs with pure lust and the primal need to come.
"Zack," I plead desperately, my hand faltering in my stroking of his cock. "I'm almost--"
Pulling his fingers out, Zack starts to circle them around my clit, which is slick with my own need. And immediately I'm bursting apart, pleasure ripping its way through my body. I cry out again, an animalistic sound that I didn't know my body was capable of making.
"Yes," Zack whispers in triumph as he stares down, his fingers still stroking me hard.
"Oh, damn," I pant as my hand starts stroking his cock harder. "That was--"
"Want to see you do that one more time while I'm fucking you," Zack groans, but then immediately his body goes absolutely still.
His head drops and a gust of frustration blows out of his mouth as he rests his forehead against mine. My own hand stills against him as I become leery of this sudden change.
"What's wrong?" I ask with worry.
He gives a small shake of his head and takes in a deep breath. He lifts his head, and I see anger and frustration coming off of him in waves. "I don't have a fucking condom."
I blink at him...still a little overwhelmed by the shattering orgasm I just had. It's not exactly penetrating, so I say, "What?"
"Condom," he grits out. "I don't have any. Haven't needed any in years."
And then it hits me. He hasn't had sex since Gina died. He was in a monogamous relationship with her for years, so he hasn't needed them.
"Oh," I say with disappointment, because as good as that just felt, I cannot even begin to imagine what it would feel like to have Zack inside me.
His chest heaving, Zack steps away from me and his hands curl into fists. My hand releases my grip on his erection, which is still hard and generously weeping with pre-cum.
"Christ," he curses in anger, his hand going to his cock. With wide eyes, I watch as he strokes himself. "I'm so fucking horny right now."
I don't even think...I let instinct and desire take over. I knock his hand away, curling my fingers back around his erection. Looking up at him, I say with a sassy smile, "I know it's not the same, but no one walks out of this bathroom horny and wanting."
Zack's eyebrows rise along with the corners of his mouth, but the smile slides right back off when I give him a hard squeeze.
"Mmmmmm," he moans, and closes his eyes.
Yup. I want to hear more of that.
"I've never done this before, but it can't be that hard, right?" I ask him, because I really, really want to do this right.
"Jesus," Zack mutters, and I look up at him. He's staring down at me in amazement. One hand comes up to stroke my cheek. "You don't have to."
I smile at him. "True enough. But I want to. I really, really want to."
"Then I'm not going to argue," he says hoarsely, his hand now sliding into the hair at the side of my head.
"If I'm bad at it, just poke me or something. But I'm generally pretty good with my hands," I tell him sincerely.
Zack lets out a bark of a laugh, followed by a low moan as I move my hand up and down his shaft. "There's no way you could ever be bad at this."
I hope he's right, because since this is the first time he's done this in a very long time, I want it to be not just good...I want it to be perfect for him. I want to obliterate the numbness from his body and I want to light him up with feeling.
With one last look at Zack, I whisper, "I hope you like this."
Then I lean forward and give him a kiss at the base of his throat. Zack's hips jerk and his hand tightens in my hair. Emboldened, I start stroking him harder and faster, using my thumb to circle around the head. His skin is hot but velvety, and his erection jumps in my hand when something feels especially good to him. I take a moment to relish the feeling of him in my hand.
That Zack Grantham's cock is in my hand.
I let instinct and the need to please him take over. I move my mouth assuredly against his neck, sucking and biting lightly--but definitely not hard enough to leave a mark. I let my other hand roam his chest, playing with his nipples. I let the sounds and movements he makes guide me as to what really tur
ns him on. I have it figured out pretty quickly, and when I pick up my pace, Zack's hips start providing some counterthrust.
"I'm almost there," he grits out through heavy, panting breaths.
"Come for me," I whisper as I lean my head back and look up into his beautiful face. I'm rewarded with a groan, and within moments of my soft plea, he starts to come. It shoots out over my hand, hitting my bare stomach warmly.
As long as I live, I don't think I'll ever hear again something as beautiful but painful as the long moan Zack lets out. It's almost as if he was being tortured for centuries and then suddenly he was filled with pleasure and peace--that is how utterly satisfying his release is.
His body shudders and his fingers tighten more in my hair. When he's finally empty, he gives a huge sigh of relief and then pulls slowly away.
"Thank you," he whispers gratefully as he stares down at me. Gone is the lust and carnality of what we did and left in its place is something that's akin to gratitude mixed with uncertainty.
I smile softly at him, and in this moment I want him to take me in his arms and kiss me. I want to feel his lips on mine again in affection and recognition of what we just gave each other.
Instead, he pulls the hand towel off the bar next to the sink and wipes my stomach off first, then my hand. He tosses it to the floor and pulls his pants up after tucking himself in. He won't meet my eyes as he gets dressed, and I just stand there stupidly, watching him.
I want to demand he look at me and tell me what he's feeling. I don't regret what we just did, but I do want to know what this means going forward. Was this a onetime-only thing or are we going to continue on?
There's no helping the silly sentiments I'm feeling right now as a woman. I need the validation, unfortunately.
Just as I think he might walk out of the bathroom on me, he turns around and blinks in surprise at me still standing there, naked.
His head tilts to the side. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I say with a false smile. "Great."
He steps back into me, laying a kiss on my forehead. "Go ahead and get your shower. Ben will be home before too long."
"Okay," I say as I bend over to pick up my clothes and hold them protectively in front of my body. Now that the glow of my climax has faded, I feel incredibly self-conscious.
"I have to run out for a few minutes," he says as an afterthought. I still don't look at him, but because I feel stupid standing here naked in front of him, I quickly slip on my underwear and jeans, followed by my bra.
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