The Man I Can't Have

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The Man I Can't Have Page 31

by Williams, Shanora


  What the hell did she just say? “W-what?”

  She looks at me and is hesitant to respond this time. “Well, I saw Kyle was home, so I was thinking about asking if he’d wanted her with him. I saw him pulling into his driveway last night when I was giving Callie a walk…but I figured if he wanted her he would have come for her, right?” No, he wouldn’t have, because he has no idea I even left her with you!

  Oh my God. No. No, no, no! He can’t be back already!

  “Are you okay, honey?” She puts a hand on my shoulder, brows dipping with concern. “You don’t look so well.”

  “I—I’m fine. Just didn’t realize he’d be back so soon.” I pat her hand and then walk around my car to open my door. “Thank you for watching her! Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

  “Oh, it was my pleasure!” She waves and tells me she’ll see me later, and I jump behind the wheel, putting the car in reverse and then turning into my driveway. Sure enough, Kyle’s BMW is parked right out in the open, like it always is when he’s home.

  My heart is beating so hard I swear it’s going to rip right out of my chest. With shaky hands, I push out of the car, trying to think of a million excuses I can tell him as to why I wasn’t home last night—or even the nights before.

  If he was home, what was with the text he sent this morning? If he’s been home, why would he send that? Was he testing me? What if Meredith only saw him last night but he’s been home for days?

  Oh, God. I’m going to be sick.

  As I take Callie out, she barks, looking ahead, toward our porch. I look with her and Kyle is standing in front of the door, head tilted, and one brow cocked.

  “Hey!” I try to say with way too much enthusiasm and curiosity. “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow night!”

  “Conferences ended early.” His tone is dry. Casual. I can’t read it.

  He looks me over with narrowed eyes. I ignore his scrutinizing gaze. He knows something, but I won’t feed into it, so I carry Callie up the stoop so we can get inside. He blocks the door.

  “What are you doing?” I laugh nervously.

  He looks down at me, his face tighter, a grimace in full form. Then he digs into his back pocket, holding up a business card. As he switches it between his fingers, I spot the name Marcel Ward in big, bold print. This time, I really do think my heart is going to jump out of my body somehow.

  I can’t think.

  Can’t move.

  “Why do you have that card—”

  “Shut the fuck up and get in the house, Gabby.” When he speaks in my face, it’s then that I smell the alcohol on his breath. He reeks of it. It’s too early to drink, but I don’t say that because his tone catches me completely off guard.

  He steps to the side, glaring at me, waiting for me to go. I walk in, placing Callie down. She scampers off, sniffing around, glad to be home. At least someone is.

  I watch her rush to the double doors in the kitchen, already wanting to go outside, then I turn and start to ask Kyle what’s going on, but the door slams behind him and then his hand is locking around my throat. I claw at his arm and try to yell, but I can’t. I can hardly breathe—he’s crushing my windpipe. He backs me all the way up until my back slams into the nearest wall.

  “You must think I’m an idiot!” he snarls, that familiar, angry vein popping up on his forehead. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? You haven’t fucked me in days, but you’re more than happy to sneak off and fuck him?”

  “Kyle, I—” I still can’t speak. He’s squeezing harder, and I claw at his hand even more.

  He sniffs the air, then flares his nostrils. His eyes are like pits of fire. I’ve seen him angry, but not like this. “You smell like him. You’re fucking disgusting.” He finally releases my throat, and I suck in a breath, collapsing to my knees. Callie is whining and cowering at my side now. “You better end whatever the hell it is you have going on with him, or I swear you will regret it, Gabs,” he growls through clenched teeth.

  “Kyle, I swear, I didn’t mean for it to happen!”

  “But it did!” He barks back. “I saw the way he looked at you every time he was around! And you know what’s worse? I found his fucking business card under the table that morning I got home early—the night you were sleeping on the couch, which you never fucking do! You told me you hated that couch! He must’ve worn you out, huh? At first, I thought, surely my wife isn’t stupid enough to bring another man into my house while I’m away. I figured maybe the card was just a coincidence, considering the fact that he had been working on our yard recently, but then you disappear for days behind my back! And to top it off, I see the neighbor with your fucking dog! Did you think I wouldn’t find that unusual? You were good at hiding it for a while, but then I saw the emails. Ohh, the emails, Gabs. I was in total shock when I saw those.” He crouches down, grabbing my face between his fingers way too roughly.

  “Stop!” I beg. “Please, stop! It’s over!”

  “Of course it’s over! You knew I wouldn’t tolerate this shit! You can’t have him—you can’t have anyone but me!” He releases my face and looks down at me as I sob. For a while he just watches me, looking down as if I’m the dirt on the bottom of his shoe.

  But then he does something that I don’t see coming, not even from a mile away.

  He kicks me.

  Right in the face.

  Kicks me.

  I gasp and crumple over from the blow, and my tears come to a sudden halt. I’m dazed, unable to grasp what just happened.

  “You’re fucking worthless, Gabby,” he spits out as he grabs a fistful of my hair, and blood slithers down my throat as I pull in air to scream. “Your father was wrong about you. You’re no trophy. You’re garbage.”

  He releases me, and blood pours from my nose and mouth, but all I can see are black spots. I hear his voice taunting me, yelling about how he has given me everything, and I’ve betrayed him. He’s right, I have, but it’s for this very reason that I did it.

  I knew he would hit me again. I knew that his grabbing and bruising on my arms and upper thighs would turn into something so much worse. He’s always been good at hurting me in places I could hide behind long-sleeved shirts and sweatpants.

  I knew he could get aggressive when we were out, making sure I was always at his side, keeping me close so I couldn’t socialize too much with anyone else—including my friends—but I always thought it was cute and that he couldn’t handle being away from me for too long. I felt like his air.

  Little did I know, his intentions weren’t pure. All along, he considered me his. In his fucked up mind, he literally thinks he owns me and, unfortunately, I didn’t figure that out until it was too late.

  Kyle was the first man I took seriously.

  He was my all. I loved him to the core. I knew he could take care of me and my family, but as soon as we got married, he’d changed. Everything changed…or maybe I just hadn’t paid attention to the signs.

  You only see what’s on the surface, and so does Marcel. Throughout, it may have seemed like I was the unfaithful wife—the ungrateful woman who couldn’t appreciate the good surrounding her—but when you live in fear and under so much scrutiny, waiting for the day your husband decides to crack open a bottle of liquor, flip his switch, and dehumanize you, how can you appreciate such beauty?

  Many times, since the first time he laid his hands on me, I’ve wanted to back out of this marriage—and maybe that feeling is why I migrated to Marcel in the first place—but unfortunately, I can’t. Why? Because I have no doubt in my mind that Kyle would do something drastic to harm me. He’s stated it many, many times before. In fact, I have no doubt that if it came down to it, he would kill me.

  What I did was wrong, yes, but what Kyle does to me is pure evil. Of course, I decided to be selfish for once in my life and get a taste of what a real man could treat me like—a good man. But when I got that taste of him, it became impossible
to stay away. How could I, when being a part of something with Marcel is so much better than what I have right now?

  With Marcel it’s real and positive and healthy. He isn’t the man I can’t have. He’s the man I’ve always needed.

  Kyle? He’s the one I should have stayed away from.

  Kyle’s yelling becomes a dull hum. Callie is still barking, and he’s shouting at her, telling her to shut the hell up.

  I can’t fight anymore.

  I’m losing this battle.

  The dark spots blurring my vision double in size. Breathing turns into wheezing. My fingers are damp with my own blood.

  Before I slip into darkness, and allow it to become my safe place, I hear one name spill from my lips.

  It’s the only name I need in order to get through this—the kind of name that makes me feel protected, even when he’s not around.

  “Marcellus.”

  Pre-Order The Man I Need

  THAT CLIFFY THO!

  *gasps*

  Fortunately, you don’t have long to wait for the conclusion to Gabby & Marcel’s story!

  The follow up book, The Man I Need, will be releasing on June 13th, 2019!

  Pre-Order The Man I Need

  Or Sign Up For My Newsletter to stay updated on the release for book 2!

  If you feel the need to vent, rage, scream or chat with other readers who have read The Man I Can’t Have, please join TMICH SPOILER ROOM on Facebook! :-)

  Please continue reading for more information.

  Domestic Violence Hotline

  For any person, woman or man, who is in a domestically violent relationship, please know you are not alone. I wrote this book and I cried for Gabby. My heart shattered into a million pieces but it had to be told. For those who don’t realize it, yes, Marcel is an amazing man, but this is Gabby’s story.

  If you ever wish to talk to anyone, or work on a way to escape an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).

  Follow Shanora

  Feel free to follow me on Instagram! I am always active and always eager to speak with my readers there:

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  Visit www.shanorawilliams.com for more book information and details.

  What To Read Next?

  I have plenty of books that I could share with you, but to make your life easier, I’m going to give you a few books of mine that are reader favorites and books that I loved writing. These will definitely hold you over until the release of The Man I Need!

  If you love forbidden romances with age gaps, check out Wanting Mr. Cane, a juicy love story about a girl who falls for her dad’s best friend.

  Another juicy one is Dear Mr. Black, where a girl falls for her best friend’s dad! Both are reader favorites and favorites of mine.

  Trust me, the plots may seem scandalous, but I can guarantee you my forbidden romances are always full of emotion and angst.

  If you love dark romances, then I have the perfect treat for you. My Venom Trilogy will cure any dark lover’s craving!

  Need something quick and hot to bide your time? Check out my Nora Heat Collection! All of the Nora Heat stories are quick, easy, blazing hot reads!

  The rest of my standalones are filled with angst and lots of emotions and you can find them on my website here or flip to the next page and take your pick. Enjoy!

  More Books By Shanora

  CANE SERIES

  WANTING MR. CANE

  BREAKING MR. CANE

  LOVING MR. CANE

  BEING MRS. CANE

  NORA HEAT COLLECTION

  CARESS

  CRAVE

  DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

  STANDALONES

  TEMPORARY BOYFRIEND

  100 PROOF

  DOOMSDAY LOVE

  DEAR MR BLACK

  FOREVER MR. BLACK

  INFINITY

  SERIES

  FIRENINE SERIES

  THE BEWARE DUET

  VENOM TRILOGY

  Most of these titles are available in Kindle Unlimited.

  Visit www.shanorawilliams.com for more information.

 

 

 


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