by Anna Bell
I keep my head down in the small queue, wishing I’d left my hair down for a disguise, and when I reach the door I hold out my ticket without looking at him.
‘Thank you,’ he says taking it and tearing off the stub before he hands it back to me.
‘Thanks,’ I mutter and I’m just about to shuffle past when he holds his arm out to block my path.
‘It’s you,’ he says, narrowing his eyes. ‘Can I check your bag, please? For security reasons.’
‘But you haven’t asked anyone else.’
‘Well, you were acting suspiciously last time. We have the right to ask,’ he says, pointing to a sign which says as much.
‘Fine,’ I say, pulling open my handbag for him to have a look.
It’s quite a big handbag that I keep everything in, from snacks to hair accessories to kitchen utensils. Once something goes in the bag it never seems to come out and it’s in a right muddle.
‘What’s this?’ he says, pulling out a selfie stick.
‘So I have a selfie stick,’ I say, folding my arms. ‘It’s not like I’m going to use that to film, is it? Hardly discreet.’
His eyes widen.
‘Not that I would film discreetly either. I’m not going to film.’
He looks in my bag again and points at a portable tripod.
‘Again, that’s hardly discreet. Look there’s nothing in there for filming, only accessories.’
‘Other than your phone,’ he says.
‘Yes, just like everyone else.’
I look at the queue that’s getting longer behind me.
He sighs loudly and has one more rifle through and I guess he’s disappointed that there’s no hidden compartment with filming equipment stashed inside.
‘Can I take my seat now or do I need to be frisked first?’
He gives me a look and I hope I haven’t just given him an idea.
He offers my handbag back and I snatch it and walk into the auditorium feeling flustered.
It’s already busy inside despite the movie not starting for another twenty minutes. It’s a popular film and the tickets sold out quickly. I scan the rows looking for Aidan and worrying that he might not have bought a ticket in time.
I find a seat in a row near the middle that has a few empty places.
I sit down and go to open my box of Maltesers. My hands are still shaking from the confrontation with the usher and I tug at the cardboard divider under the lid a little too forcefully and the chocolates go flying.
‘Shit,’ I mumble, trying to recover the rogue Maltesers rolling away from me. I’m hunting around on my hands and knees when I see a pair of Vans trainers in front of me. I look up and there, smiling down at me, is Aidan.
‘Do you always throw your food?’ he says, laughing.
‘Always,’ I say, scrambling to my feet.
He leans over to give me a hug and my heart starts to pound. I put my arms out to hug him back realising that I’m still clutching my rapidly melting chocolates.
We pull away and he looks down at my sweatshirt and points at it.
‘Holy shit, Truffle Shuffle! That was what people used to chant at me when I was a kid. Brings back painful memories,’ he says.
‘I’m so sorry, if I’d known…’ I mutter, my cheeks flushing.
‘Just kidding,’ he says, laughing. ‘It was only my brother who used to chant it. Not exactly scarring. I had a bit of a jelly belly when I was young.’
I look down at his stomach, which looks all taut and toned under his T-shirt.
‘I see you don’t have that problem now,’ I say, trying to stop my mind from imagining the six pack that I suspect he’s got under there. ‘Sorry, not that I was looking. It’s just your T-shirt is quite tight…’
Stop talking, Izzy. Stop talking right now.
Aidan smiles and his dimples appear.
‘I’m not that toned. It’s just I find it difficult to put on weight,’ he says, patting his stomach, my eyes following.
What is wrong with me? I’ve got to get a grip of myself, he has a girlfriend.
‘I wish I had that problem.’
‘I cycle about a hundred miles a week.’
‘Bloody hell, that’s exactly why I will never have that problem. I think I’ll stick with my Maltesers. Although I usually try and eat them rather than just smear them over my hands.’
‘Excuse me,’ says a voice and we look up and see the usher standing at the end of the row pointing at us. ‘Will you sit down, people behind you can’t see.’
I look behind to see that everyone is staring at us talking; I’d forgotten there was anyone else here.
We sit down hastily and the usher groans and moves closer towards us.
‘I should have known it would be you two. I thought you said you didn’t know each other last time. Was it all some elaborate cover story?’
‘We didn’t know each other,’ I say. ‘Well, we had met before, but Aidan didn’t recognise me, and anyway, we met again last time, so we weren’t lying.’
The usher gives us a hard stare. ‘No filming and no funny business.’
He walks off leaving Aidan and me to snigger.
‘Did you hear him? No funny business.’
‘Well, that’s scuppered all my plans. Might as well leave now,’ he says.
I feel my cheeks aching with all the smiling. There’s something so easy about being in Aidan’s company. I can’t remember the last time I was this relaxed with a man that I hardly knew.
I look down at my hands and realise they’re still covered in a chocolate mess.
‘You couldn’t reach into my bag and grab a tissue, could you?’
Aidan looks horrified.
‘I promise you it won’t bite. It’s either that or I have to go and wash my hands and then I have to go past our friend again and he gave me such a hard time getting in the first time.’
‘OK,’ he says lifting it up off the floor and breathing out. ‘I’m going in.’
He puts his hand in and rummages around. It doesn’t help that the lights have dimmed and the rotating slideshow adverts for local businesses has started.
‘What the bloody hell is this?’ he says, pulling out a spoon.
‘I take it everywhere, then I don’t have to use plastic stirrers. I’m saving the environment.’
‘Very commendable,’ he says putting it back in and pulls out the selfie stick.
‘Oh, don’t get that out here,’ I whisper. ‘Our friend over there nearly banned me for having that.’
‘For once I’m with him. I hate those bloody things.’
I’m glad the lights are dim and he can’t see my rosy cheeks.
‘It’s not mine. Well, it is, but it’s for a work thing. I’m not a vain selfie taker,’ I say, lying heavily. I take selfies all the time.
‘Phew,’ says Aidan, ‘I didn’t want you to belong to the dark side.’
‘The dark side?’ I say gulping.
‘Yeah. I’m not big into social media, I sort of hate what it represents. My ex, Zoe, was obsessed, she was all like “me, my selfie and I”. There almost wasn’t room in our relationship for me.’
I squeak in reply. Perhaps I might wait a bit before I tell him about my Instagram aspirations.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so bitter,’ he says, finding the packet of tissues. He pulls one out and reaches over and takes my hands in his and wipes the chocolate away. The electricity is crackling and I wonder if he can feel it too. Not that it matters; even if he didn’t have a girlfriend, it sounds like he’d hate my Instagramming.
‘Don’t be silly,’ I say, trying to ignore the fact that he’s finished wiping and yet he’s still holding my hands.
‘Things like that always sound so petty after a break-up. You look back and wonder how such minor things could bother you. Of course there were big things too.’
‘Yep, unfortunately there usually are in my experience.’
We don’t say anything for a second and it
begins to feel very wrong that we’re holding hands still and I pull away. It’s almost like we were teetering on the edge of something more than friendship and it’s not what I want, especially with Aidan having a girlfriend. I’m not being that woman.
He coughs as if he’s embarrassed that he hadn’t noticed about the hands.
‘So, The Goonies,’ he says, steering us onto safer ground.
‘Yep,’ I say. ‘So the question is, are you going to show me your Truffle Shuffle?’
He goes to lift up his T-shirt. So much for safer ground. Luckily for me he drops his hand again.
‘I don’t do a Truffle Shuffle for just anyone, you know. And you have to earn it.’
‘How does one earn a Truffle Shuffle?’
Stop flirting, Izzy.
‘Ah, now that would be telling.’
The lights go down at exactly the right moment so he can’t see that my cheeks are burning.
‘Seeing as you’ve lost most your chocolates, do you want a pick ‘n’ mix?’
‘I thought you’d never ask,’ I say, reaching into the bag and we settle into watching the trailers and munching on sweets.
When the film finishes we find ourselves on the same spot on the pavement outside the cinema, trying to stay dry from the rain under the awning.
‘Do you, um, fancy getting a drink?’ says Aidan. ‘A quick one?’
‘Yeah, I’d like that, I mean, if you don’t have to rush off for your train?’
‘No, no,’ he says checking his watch. ‘I’m good for a bit, as long as I don’t miss the last one home.’
He gestures towards the pub across the road and we start walking towards it.
‘Ah, would you be in trouble,’ I say, thinking that he’s probably going home to Saskia.
‘Yeah, the boss would kill me. He has to have a carrot to eat before he goes to bed or else he’s up in the middle of the night starving hungry.’
I wrinkle my forehead in confusion.
‘Haven’t I mentioned Barney before?’
‘No,’ I say, shaking my head.
‘My dog, Barney?’
He holds the door open of the pub and we wander over to the bar.
‘What kind of a dog is he?’
‘A big, dopey chocolate Labrador.’
‘Ah, I bet he’s cute.’
Aidan pulls his phone out of his pocket and swipes before showing me a photo.
‘Bloody hell, he’s adorable.’
‘Yep, and he knows it too. Gets away with murder.’
‘My nan used to have a collie when I was growing up,’ I say. ‘I used to love going to her house as he always made such a fuss. It must be nice always having someone excited to see you.’
‘I was excited to see you today,’ he says before he groans. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that to sound like such a line. Saskia’s always telling me that I come out with the cheesiest things.’
I try not to be disappointed that he’s mentioned his girlfriend.
‘Doesn’t she like classic films?’ I ask and he looks at me a little strangely.
‘Not really. She’s more of an art-house, indie film type of girl.’
Of course she is. All sophisticated to go with her Amazonian looks.
‘I’m always exhausted after going to the cinema with her as everything’s got subtitles and it’s such an effort to concentrate.’
‘Yeah, I have to be in the mood to watch subtitled films,’ I say, like I watch them frequently when in reality I watch them if I’m having trouble sleeping as no matter how good they are I always fall asleep.
We get our drinks and take them over to a table in the corner.
‘So have you had Barney long?’
‘About a year and a half, I guess? I got him when I bought my house. I felt I needed company and I guessed it would be less intrusive than having a lodger. I was wrong; I can’t even go to the loo without him budging the door open to see what’s going on.’
I laugh. I can just imagine how naughty Barney is.
‘Do you have any pets?’ he asks.
‘No, my friend and I live in a flat and we’re at work all day, it wouldn’t be fair.’
‘Yeah, they enjoy company,’ he says, sitting down at the table. ‘So do you like being back in Basingstoke?’
‘Most of the time. Growing up I couldn’t wait to escape it, but it all changed when Ben died. I guess I worked out what and who I really cared about and I moved back. Perhaps if it hadn’t happened that way I still would have moved back, but it would have taken longer.’
‘Sounds familiar. I went to uni in Bristol and lived there for a few years after.’
‘How come you moved back?’
He shrugs a little. ‘Most of my friends moved on and then I got back in touch with a girl I knew from home – Zoe, the one I mentioned earlier – and we started seeing each other.’ He starts to shift a little uncomfortably in his chair. ‘It seemed like the easiest thing to do, move back to be closer to her, plus I already knew people in the area. It’s surprising how many people I knew from school are back too.’
‘Tell me about it,’ I say. ‘It seems like everyone I know had some sort of homing beacon activated when it was time to settle down. I’m always bumping into people I haven’t seen for years pushing prams around.’
‘It’s weird, isn’t it? I don’t feel any older than I did when I was at school and then all of a sudden I see someone from back then and they’ve got grey hair or a bald patch and it makes me realise I’m old.’
‘Personally I don’t think you look a day over 17.’
‘Thanks, I usually go for 22,’ he says, laughing.
I look at him trying to work out how old he is. He’s got little laughter lines on his face but his beard is making it harder to age him.
‘You’re trying to guess how old I am, aren’t you?’
‘No, I’m not,’ I say, knowing I’m a rubbish liar.
‘You are, I can see it on your face. You’re looking at my crow’s feet.’
‘You don’t have crow’s feet.’
‘So you have looked,’ he says in mock horror. ‘I’m 36.’
‘Sheesh. I didn’t think you were under 40.’ I laugh to let him know I’m kidding.
‘Forty’s the new 30 you know.’
‘That’s what I’ve heard, Grandad.’
‘So how old are you? Or should I guess?’
I do a sharp intake of breath.
‘You should never guess a woman’s age – it will never end well.’
‘Neither does going through her handbag,’ he says, laughing.
‘I’ll put you out of your misery, I’m 31.’
‘That’s what I was going to say.’
‘Sure you were,’ I say, nodding.
He drinks his drink and gives me a playful smile.
‘So what do you do for work?’ I ask him. ‘I know you said you had a café?’
‘I’m an app designer,’ he says.
‘Ooh, that’s interesting.’
He shrugs his shoulders.
‘It can be. I work for non-profits mainly, so making companion apps for museum exhibitions and that kind of thing. It’s good, though, as I get to work from home.’
‘I bet Barney likes that.’
‘Oh yes, he has a bed next to my desk and he nudges me every few hours to remind me to get up and either feed or walk him. Who needs a FitBit to remind you to move when you’ve got a dog?’
I laugh.
‘So tell me about your work,’ he says.
‘It’s kind of boring,’ I say, wrinkling up my nose. ‘But the people I work with more than make up for it,’ I say.
‘Then tell me about them.’
‘OK,’ I say, wondering how on earth I’m going to describe Mrs Harris. I begin to explain my colleagues and the Great Office Bake Off and Aidan can’t stop laughing. By the time I’ve finished filling him in on the inter-office politics we’ve both finished our drinks.
‘Do you want ano
ther one?’
He looks at his watch and winces.
‘I would love to, but I better go and get the train.’
‘Of course,’ I say, trying to hide my disappointment.
I slip my sweatshirt back on and stand up.
We walk out of the pub and at last it’s stopped raining. I love that smell you get after summer rain when it’s all warm and humid.
‘It was really nice to see you again,’ he says. ‘Although it always seems rushed. So why don’t we get a bite to eat before the movie next month?’
‘Oh,’ I say, getting a bit flustered. ‘Next month?’
‘Sorry, I just assumed. Drop Dead Fred,’ he says.
‘I love that film. Yes, that sounds great.’ Dinner for me always sounds like a date but I guess there’s no reason why two friends can’t go for dinner. ‘Let’s meet up before.’
‘Great, say Ted’s at seven o’clock?’
‘Sounds good to me. Hadn’t you better get going? Or you’ll miss your train.’
He leans over and gives me a quick hug goodbye. Not the long drawn-out emotional one we had last time, but the kind you’d give your mate.
‘I’m so glad we’ve become friends, Izzy. I’ll see you next month,’ he says before walking away.
‘Me too,’ I say more to myself than him.
There’s something between Aidan and me, and the more time I spend with him the harder it is to ignore, but with neither of us in a place to date, I can’t do anything about it.
Welcome to September
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How is it the end of summer already? I desperately didn’t want this one to end. All those long summer nights spent al fresco cuddling up to Luke, and trips to the lido. Let’s hope we have an Indian Summer!
I’m thrilled you all enjoyed seeing me at the gym with Luke. I totally agree that it’s always good to let your other half see you at your worst and you only saw the ‘before’ pictures so believe me I was a frizzy and sweaty mess by the end. I also can’t move my arms above my head – will the feeling ever come back? I think Luke and I will be sticking to gentler things in the future – Netflix and chill is much more my cup of tea!
Chapter 16
I’m surprised when I arrive at Luke’s place. It’s an old Victorian semi-detached redbrick house with large protruding bay windows at the front and a latticed iron porch. It’s beautiful but I’d always imagined him in a modern penthouse flat in one of the more glamorous areas of the city, whereas his house screams ‘suburban family’.