by Anna Bell
‘Hey, buzz me up, I’m busting for a wee and I might not make it,’ says Marissa.
I gasp, I’d momentarily forgotten all about her arrival and I press the button releasing the door. I turn to Aidan and notice he’s gone really pale.
‘Did everyone hear what I said?’ he says, whispering.
‘Yep, including Mum.’
He turns to look over his shoulder and she gives him a huge wave; she’s positively beaming and despite the fact I’m mortified, I realise how nice it is seeing her looking happy.
He gives her a little wave and tells us all to have a good time before he hurries out the door. But there’s no time to dwell on him now.
‘Right, everyone, hide,’ I shout. ‘She’ll be here any second.’
Some of the guests squeeze behind the sofa and others behind the dining table. Everyone’s just in their place when Marissa knocks on the door.
She doesn’t waste any time with pleasantries and barges straight to the loo.
‘You would not believe the week I’ve been having,’ shouts Marissa from behind the bathroom door. ‘My mum is driving me bonkers. Did you know she wants to be there at the birth? Can you imagine? She’d be barging the midwife out the way and catching the baby as she pops out so that it would all be about her and how she single-handedly delivered the baby.’
I look over in horror at the direction of the standing lamp that Karen’s feebly attempted to hide behind. She’s pursing her brightly painted lips.
‘I’m sure it would be lovely to have her with you. Offer that loving support,’ I shout back. I can hear her washing her hands on the other side.
‘Have you hit your head?’ she says, walking out of the bathroom. ‘We’re talking about my mum, not yours. Do you know she’s asked me not to have the baby the second week in December because she’s got her work Christmas do and she doesn’t want to miss it.’
‘Surprise!’ shouts Karen, jumping out into the middle of the room, forcing Marissa to turn and face the lounge. I didn’t think anyone could look more shocked than Aidan did earlier.
Marissa’s other friends and family belatedly jump out and shout half-hearted surprises at different times. It’s not quite how I’d planned it.
Marissa’s doing an awful lot of deep breathing and I’m starting to wonder if throwing a surprise party for a heavily pregnant woman was a good idea. What if she’s gone into so much shock that the baby comes along right now?
‘Oh my God,’ says Marissa, staring at me. ‘A baby shower. Wow. Aren’t I the lucky one? Everyone I love in one room. And even my mother is here.’
She looks at everyone and then back at me with her eyebrow raised.
‘Thanks, Izzy,’ she leans over and hugs me and whispers in my ear. ‘Shit, do you think my mum heard?’
‘Yep,’ I whisper back.
‘Bollocks and I can’t even drink.’
‘None of us can,’ I say, regretting that we’d made it a dry shower in solidarity of Marissa.
She puts a big, brave smile on her face and turns to face the room.
I watch her tense as her mum slips her arm around her daughter.
‘Darling, isn’t this wonderful, a baby shower for our little one?’ says Karen.
‘Yes, it’s great,’ she says, wriggling away and greeting everyone who has come up to fuss over her and her bump.
‘So… Aidan seemed nice,’ says Mum, sidling up to me.
‘Yes, he is. Right, we’ve got a big schedule of games, we should really get started,’ I say, grabbing my clipboard then flicking over the itinerary.
‘Oh really, don’t we get a little bit of time for a chat?’
‘No, no, we’ve got to do the ice breaker. Right, everyone!’ I shout over the excited chatter. ‘Let’s do the “guess the person from their baby picture” game.’
Everyone pushes towards the photos pegged to a line of string hanging along the length of the room and I stand back and catch my breath. It might not have gone to plan what with Aidan, late arrivals and Karen’s attention-seeking, but I’m determined to get this back on track and give Marissa the baby shower she deserves.
Welcome to December
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Isn’t Christmas truly the most magical time of the year? People are walking around happy and there are twinkling lights everywhere. Not to mention the Christmas music that I am blasting.
So let’s do the monthly round-up. I don’t think there’s any escaping this blingy addition to my finger! After a totally romantic weekend away at Ingleford Manor Hotel where we spent the time cocooned in our amazing room and relaxing in their luxurious spa, and enjoying an eight-course tasting dinner (yes, eight!) I guess we fell even more for each other. Luke popped the question a few weeks later and I of course said, ‘Yes!’ I want to say a big, hearty thank you to everyone who has sent us a message to congratulate us and to the lovely companies that have gifted us products too. We’re looking at a long engagement, but whatever happens, we’ll take you along for the ride!
Chapter 26
Aidan rings my doorbell and this time I buzz him straight up, excited to see him. I pat down my curls and glance in the hall mirror to make sure I look OK. I feel like a jingly bag of nerves and can’t quite settle until he knocks on the door.
‘Hey, you,’ I say, opening it.
He peers over my shoulder. ‘No large pack of women hiding in your lounge today?’
Aidan takes a step closer to me and leans over and kisses me. My resolve of telling him the truth is weakening as he starts to run his hand down my back.
I eventually manage to prise myself away from him for long enough to drag him into the lounge; I’ve got to tell him the truth before anything happens.
‘So, did you get your presents?’ I ask. Aidan had stopped off to do some Christmas shopping in town before he came here.
‘Yes, my mum will be very happy. She’s difficult to buy for but there’s a hand cream that she loves that’s proved tricky to get hold of, and they had it here.’
I sit down on the couch and Aidan sits next to me. He rests his hand on my thigh and it feels so natural.
‘Are you spending Christmas with your parents?’ I ask.
‘Yeah, my brother and his girlfriend are coming too, and my grandad.’
I’m jealous that he’s going to have a big family Christmas; ours seem so quiet now it’s just me, Mum and Dad.
‘What are your Christmases like?’ I ask.
‘Mental. There are people everywhere. Mum has an open-door policy when it comes to Christmas, so all the neighbours will pop in at some point. Then my aunts and uncles and all my cousins come in the evening. We seem to have to eat and drink every time someone new comes in.’
‘Sounds intense.’
‘It is; we all just sit on the couch on Boxing Day ignoring each other, too busy recovering from the chaos. How about you, what are your Christmases like?’
I smile at first, until I remember. ‘They used to be noisy and fun and—’ I can feel myself choking up a little. ‘The last couple have been…’
‘Sorry,’ says Aidan, reaching over and squeezing my hand. ‘I didn’t think.’
‘No, it’s OK. I almost didn’t either. I still think of them as being Ben and me arguing over who gets the remote and us all arguing over Trivial Pursuit. The first year was awful. None of us could face spending it in the house, so Dad booked us a package holiday to Portugal. It was weird and warm and it didn’t feel like Christmas. Then last year we stayed at the house but it was so quiet. It was just the three of us and we kept finding ourselves staring at the chair he should have been sitting in until Becca popped over in the afternoon.’
‘Are you going away this year?’
I shake my head.
‘No, my dad suggested it but I think we’ve realised that it’s hard wherever we are. I’m dreading it but I’ll focus on remembering the good times. Like how we have a star and an angel on the Chris
tmas tree because Ben always said it had to be a star and I always said it had to be an angel. And he always bought something handmade like fudge or Christmas cookies. I have no idea when it started, it wasn’t like him at all as he hated cooking, but he’d always do it.’
I don’t even realise that I’ve started crying until Aidan pulls me into him.
‘It’s silly, isn’t it, because it’s not like I expected that we were going to spend every Christmas together forever more. He sometimes went to Becca’s parents’ house but we’d always see him at some point in the day.’
‘Will you see Becca this year?’
‘No, she’s going to her parents’ and then to see Gareth in the evening. I am happy that she’s moving on and going to her new boyfriend’s, but I’m going to miss her.’ I wipe my tears and try and smile. ‘So much for us getting in the Christmas spirit.’
‘Yeah, how dare you put a dampener on the mood,’ he says, stroking my hair. ‘You know… I’m available on Christmas Day. I play a pretty mean game of Monopoly and I specialise in being awkward in television choices. The Great Escape versus Mary Poppins; The Great Escape wins every time.’
I wrinkle my nose and shake my head.
‘The Great Escape? You know you’ve spent the last few months conning me into thinking that you’ve got the same awesome taste in movies as me, but come on. Seriously?’
‘Oh yeah. It’s right up there with The Guns of Navarone, The Eagle Has Landed.’
I scrunch up my face even further.
‘I thought I knew you,’ I say, laughing.
‘Joking aside, I can come round for a bit. You know, make up the numbers for board games. If you don’t think it’s too weird.’
‘Um, wouldn’t your family miss you?’
‘I’m sure with all the comings and goings they wouldn’t notice if I snuck out for a couple of hours.’
‘OK, but you know my parents are going to be there, right? And you’d have to meet them.’
He nods slowly.
‘I’ve sort of met your mum already, and she seemed pleased to see me.’
‘Yes, but if you met them properly then they’d like you and want to see you again.’
‘Would that be so bad?’ he says, raising an eyebrow.
‘I guess not. Will you bring Barney?’
‘Do you want me to?’
‘Of course I do.’
Now he’s the one that doesn’t look so sure.
‘You know he wreaks havoc wherever he goes.’
‘That’s exactly why you should bring him.’
‘OK, but it’s on your head.’
I laugh and he smiles back and I know this is the moment that I’ve got to be honest.
‘You know, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.’
He’s got the same contented happy smile that I seem to have been sporting a lot lately. I hope he’s still looking like that after I tell him what I’ve got to say.
‘Sounds ominous.’
‘It doesn’t have to be,’ I say, taking a deep breath. ‘It’s just—’
My phone starts to ring and I stare at it vibrating across the table. I can’t imagine how many times my phone has rung since the day that Ben died, but even after all this time I still get a wave of panic until I answer.
‘It’s Marissa, do you mind?’ I ask, lifting it.
‘Of course not.’
‘Hiya.’
‘Where are you? Are you home?’ She sounds puffed out.
‘I am. What’s wrong?’
‘It’s started. I’m having the flipping baby and I can’t get hold of Tim. He went to the bloody football and I told him to keep his phone on him, but he’s not answering.’
‘Calm down, calm down. It’s going to be fine. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of time. How far apart are your contractions?’
‘About twelve minutes. But they’re so painful. I mean they’re really fucking painful. And where’s Tim? I’m supposed to be breaking his hands or shouting at him for getting me into this mess.’
‘Do you need me to take you to hospital?’
‘No, I’ve phoned them and they told me I can’t go until the contractions are five minutes apart.’
‘OK, OK, Tim has got time to get home. Look, I’m here with Aidan, we’ll jump in the car and be with you in ten minutes. Hopefully you’ll only have one more contraction before we get there. OK? I can even put you on hands-free so that I can stay on the line.’
‘Just get here, don’t worry about the hands-free, I want to phone Tim and leave him more abusive voicemails. Please come quickly, I don’t want to do this by myself.’
‘Of course,’ I say, standing up and motioning for Aidan to come too.
I hang up the phone and clap my hands together with delight.
‘Marissa’s having the baby!’
‘I got that,’ says Aidan, ‘and we’re going? You know I haven’t even met her yet? Do you think you should just go by yourself?’
‘No, no, we need you. Or at least I need you. We’ll probably need someone to make us cups of tea and to boil water and get the towels ready or whatever else you’re supposed to do when someone gives birth.’
‘She’s not having it at home, is she?’
He looks terrified. I try and drag him out of my flat but he digs his heels in.
‘No, at the hospital and it sounds like it isn’t coming any time soon. We’re just there to keep her company before Tim arrives.’
‘Are you sure you don’t want to go alone?’
‘No, I really don’t. Come on,’ I say pulling him along. ‘You might just be the distraction she needs to take her mind off her absent husband. In fact, she might be so pleased to see you that she forgets all about the contractions.’
I don’t think either of us believe me, but at least he starts moving.
I drive as quick as I can to Marissa’s and we’ve barely got up the driveway when the door flings open.
‘Marissa, meet Aidan.’
‘Aidan,’ she says, beaming. He holds out his hand like a true gent and she takes it to shake it but the smile slides off her face and she grabs the doorframe and doubles over in pain.
‘Holy shit,’ mumbles Aidan. I realise that Marissa is still clutching his hand and now she’s squeezing it hard. He doesn’t try and move her, instead he tries to encourage her to breathe and she starts to do a bit of token exhaling.
I’m wondering if there’s any point in going into the house or whether I should be bundling her into the car to take her to the hospital.
When the contraction stops she releases Aidan’s hand and breathes out nosily.
‘Bloody hell, those things. I’m so sorry, Aidan, is your hand OK?’
‘I’m sure it will be,’ he says, scrunching it up. It’s bright red and probably burning with pain.
‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ says Marissa, walking calmly down the hallway.
‘How can you walk along normally after that?’ I say in horror, both of us following her into the house. I’ve never witnessed anyone having a contraction in real life and it was two minutes of sheer terror.
She bats her hand in front of her face.
‘They’re like the most pain I’ve ever had in my life but then it goes and then it’s fine again until the next one comes. Cup of tea?’
She breezes into the kitchen and I just stare at her.
‘Cup of tea? Shouldn’t we be getting you to the hospital? You were in so much pain.’
‘I’ve got ages to go yet. I’ve got an app on my phone,’ she says, waving it.
‘Right, right. And Tim?’
‘Still missing in action. But the good news is that it’s almost full-time so hopefully he’ll be checking his phone. It’s so nice having you here. I was so scared by myself.’
She’s welling up with tears and I go over and give her a hug. It’s only been three minutes since her last contraction so I squeeze her back but make sure it doesn’t go on for too long as I don’t
want to be squished like Aidan’s hand.
‘How about you two go and sit down in the lounge and I’ll bring you some tea?’ says Aidan. He bends down to give Marissa’s dog Bowser a stroke. ‘And I can take him out too if you like?’
‘Oh, he’d love a little walk, to the park round the back of the estate? We’re dropping him with my neighbour when we go to the hospital but I’m sure they’d appreciate it if he’d been out first.’
She fusses around getting his lead and poo bags ready, before searching for his ball which apparently is a must. I help Aidan find the mugs and the tea bags, and once he’s all prepared for both the tea and the walk, he shoos us down the hall towards the lounge.
‘What a sweetie,’ says Marissa.
I nod because he is, but I’m also guessing he and his hands are trying to stay well clear of Marissa and her next contraction.
‘I’m sorry for ruining your romantic afternoon,’ she says.
‘You didn’t, we were just chatting.’
‘Oh really, just chatting?’ she says with a cackle.
‘Actually we were. I was just going to tell him about Luke,’ I say, keeping my voice down.
‘You were what?’ she shouts. I look over at the door, wincing in case he heard.
Marissa moves off the sofa and crawls onto the floor on all fours as the next contraction takes hold. I leap off too and start rubbing her back and moving her hair off her face. I’m really not too sure what I’m supposed to do now, but I’ve spent years doing the same when we’ve been drunk, so it seems like the natural thing to do.
‘Bloody hell,’ she says, walking on her knees to the coffee table before resting her head. ‘These things are exhausting.’
‘And getting closer. Have you checked your app?’
She looks down.
‘Shit, that wasn’t even ten minutes apart. Where the hell is Tim?’
She picks up her phone and dials again but it goes straight through to answerphone.
‘Put your fucking phone on,’ she screams and slams it down.
Aidan comes in with two steaming cups of tea.
‘Everything all right?’
‘Her contractions are getting stronger and longer,’ I say.
‘Ah, I’ll get the dog out quick for ten minutes then,’ he says, hurrying out the door.