by Maren Foster
He shook his head.
“Holy shit,” I said.
He nodded.
“At least you’re cleared,” I said. “They must have been waiting for those results to release you.”
He nodded.
“You okay?”
He said nothing immediately and so I just sat next to him and held his hand in mine.
Eventually he turned to look at me. “I would have done something if I’d known,” he said.
“I know.”
“Julia and I may have had an unusual relationship, but I did care about her. I would have been the first person to get her help if I’d known she was sick.”
“Of course.”
We sat in silence watching the last few leaves flutter in the setting sunlight, falling from the big oak trees.
“I love you so much. I always have,” he said.
I smiled. “I love you too.”
He was silent for a few minutes and then continued, “I never wished her any harm. I thought she was quite skinny, but never realized what was happening, what she was doing to herself,” he said. “If I had known, I never would have…” he sat silently, his eyes were focused directly ahead of him at a spot on the floor.
“You didn’t know,” I said and rubbed his hand.
“But I probably should have.”
“You knew she was under pressure to be thin to impress her followers and attract sponsors. Honestly, that’s the world she lived in. It’s what she wanted.”
“Yeah, but I had no idea she loved it enough to die for it.”
“Maybe she didn’t know either.”
“Maybe not.”
He shook his head.
“Please just let it go. We have each other. We are lucky,” I said.
“We are. I’m going to take care of you. I’ll never let you down like that.”
“Stop it, it wasn’t your fault. I know you didn’t mean her any harm,” I said.
He pulled me into his arms and I laid back against his chest, listening to his heart beat. I felt so comfortable with him. I can finally relax!
“I just want to be with you,” he said. “Somewhere we can be safe. Maybe have some kids and grow old together.”
“Me too,” I said.
I opened a nice bottle of wine and we ate dinner. He did the dishes, while I savored the moment. A normal life together, finally!
“Wanna watch a movie?” I said.
“Yeah, I just want to get a few more things packed first. Warm up the couch for me and pick out a movie. I’ll be there in fifteen. Okay?”
“Yep.”
I sat down and leaned back into the couch. I turned the t.v. on and scrolled through the listings in silence. So many channels and nothing worth watching! Beep, beep, beep, beep. The four numbers on the keypad at the front door sounded. That’s weird. Adam’s upstairs. Footsteps echoed in the front hall. Dress shoes. The steps grew closer until they stopped at the entry to the room. I looked up. Nate was standing in the doorway watching me.
“A-D-A-M! It’s Nate!” I yelled as loudly as I could.
Nate was wearing the Carnival costume from Julia’s birthday party. It was a bizarre sight. Despite my racing heart and sweaty palms it was hard not to laugh.
“You changed the locks!” Nate barked.
“How did you get in here?”
“You think Julia didn’t give me the code?” He chuckled to himself. “Speaking of that, where is she?”
“Dead.”
“What?”
“Yeah, she died yesterday. Simon didn’t tell you?”
“No. Did you kill her to punish me? I know you’re a crazy bitch, but that’s insane.”
“No. I don’t care that much about you anymore.”
Adam walked in from the kitchen, one hand behind his back.
“Nate,” Adam said flatly.
Nate ignored him and looked at me. “Keys,” he demanded.
“In my purse, hold on.” I got up and grabbed my purse from the kitchen. As I walked back into the den I saw light reflecting off a fileting knife in Adam’s right hand. I put my purse down on the dining table and threw the keys at Nate.
“Come on,” Nate said and motioned to me.
“Those are the new keys to the house. It’s the only set I had made. I don’t need them anymore. They’re yours.”
“Yeah, fine, come on,” Nate said.
“I’m staying here.”
“You’re my wife. Come with me.”
“No, I’m not. I’m staying here with Adam. This is my home now.”
“So you killed Julia so you two could be together?”
“Stop it. She killed herself,” I said.
“After everything you’ve put me through, you think I’m just gonna walk away now, let you run off with the neighbor?” Nate said.
I shook my head. “It’s over. Just go. I don’t want anything from you anymore. You don’t owe me anything. Just leave me alone.”
“That’s not how it works. You’re my wife and you’ll make all of this up to me. You don’t get to accuse me of rape, have me thrown in jail, and then sail off into the sunset.”
“Yes, I will. You got off easy after what you did to me and the others. Now leave me alone. Let’s call it even,” I said. “You’re trespassing. Get out!”
Nate began to walk toward me.
“Stop!” Adam yelled, holding the knife up in Nate’s direction.
“You think this guy is the answer to all of your problems? He’s no saint,” Nate said.
“Get out or I’ll call the police,” Adam said.
“You don’t know do you?” Nate asked me. “You still don’t know that he’s the reason you and I met in the first place. If it hadn’t been for Adam, none of this would be happening right now. None of it would have happened in the first place.”
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“You mean you never told her?” Nate looked at Adam.
“Told me what?” I demanded.
Nate continued, “That in 2012, when I was a senior and he was a freshman, I told him that I was going to visit a friend at NU and he told me that there was this girl I had to meet named ‘Freddie’. That was you, Wyn, wasn’t it? I knew you looked familiar when we met in New York but I couldn’t place you.”
I looked at Adam. His eyes were fixed on Nate.
Nate continued, “He knew what my reputation was and he still told me to look you up. He said you were easy.”
I turned to Adam. “Is that true?”
He shook his head, but didn’t look at me.
“Look at me,” I demanded.
He turned toward me. “No, he’s lying.”
“Oh, come on, of course it’s true,” Nate said. “And it gets better. When I got back I told him that we’d had sex. He practically lost his mind. Something about all of the times you’d rejected him. Right?”
Adam shook his head, but I wasn’t sure. Nate is a liar, no doubt, but I did reject Adam. Maybe he was jealous, vindictive. It’s possible.
“I know you think he’s your soulmate, and some devoted knight in shining armor that will rescue you from this, but he isn’t,” Nate said. “He’s no better than the rest of us. Come on, time to go,” Nate said and moved toward me, grabbing my upper arm firmly.
“No!” I yelled and tried to pull myself from his grip.
Adam lunged at Nate. Nate let go of me and they began to wrestle for the knife in Adam’s hand. As I watched, Nate grabbed the knife, raised it in the air and plunged it into Adam’s chest. Oh my God! Holy shit! He pulled it back out of Adam’s chest. Adam let out a primal moan. Nate stood up, towering over Adam’s body. Deep red blood stained Adam’s shirt where he’d been stabbed. He clasped his chest. I froze, panicked. What do I do now? He’ll kill me. I backed away.
Nate turned toward me. “You ruined my life,” he growled.
“You ruined mine first.”
“You think I ruined your life? Just wait.”
&nb
sp; “Why? Why did you do it? Why did you rape any of us?”
“Oh come on. You were so cute back then.” He mimicked my voice, “‘I’m gonna wait till I’m in love and married’, I’d forgotten that little detail before you said it in that interview, but you were a virgin, weren’t you? There was no way I wasn’t going to fuck you that night, you were such a little cock tease. You just had to make it difficult. Why?”
I shook my head. “You selfish asshole.”
“You wanted me. They all do,” Nate said.
“It wasn’t your right to take that from me.”
“Why not? Someone was going to.”
“Because I said ‘no’.”
“Women always say no, play hard to get, that’s their thing, and it’s what makes them irresistible.”
“You’re a psychopath,” I said.
“Be careful or you’ll be next,” he said, looking down at Adam.
Adam’s eyes met mine, his look pleaded: help!
How could you betray me too? Disappointment and anger enveloped me. If there is repentance, you must forgive.
I hurried to Adam and kneeled next to him, lifting his head up off the floor. He opened his eyes and looked directly into mine.
“I love you,” he whispered, looking completely helpless. Memories of our life together flashed before my eyes.
I nodded, leaned down, and kissed his lips. “I love you too.”
He closed his eyes and I could feel the weight of his lifeless body in my arms.
“I’m calling 9-1-1,” Nate said, “I’m going to tell the police that Adam attacked me and I stabbed him in self-defense. You’re going to corroborate my story. Then we’re going to forget any of this ever happened and move on together. Your little high school romance is over, you need me more than ever. I’ll take care of you, and you’ll be a good wife. We’ll move on. Rebuild our life together.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“You’ll never have to worry about anything else, ever again,” he continued. “Forget about whatever you think happened all those years ago. You’re nobody without me.”
“You’re wrong. I don’t need you, I never did, and I won’t lie for you,” I said.
He looked at me, “You’re going to tell them exactly what I tell you to say.”
I shook my head.
“You will because your life depends on it.” He looked down at the bloody knife in his hand, “Why can’t you just…do what I tell you?” He shook his head and began to move toward me.
I pulled his gun out of my purse, flipped the safety, and pointed it squarely at him. His look betrayed utter disbelief. I fired, pulling the trigger again and again. My heart raced. Nate fell back.
I walked over to him. He looked up at me and I could read his mind: holy shit, she actually did it.
I watched him. I watched the puddle of blood surrounding him grow, slowly absorbed by the area rug beneath him. I waited silently. After what felt like an eternity I checked his pulse. It’s finally over. I walked to the kitchen, leaving a trail of little, round specks of blood in my path.
I grabbed the house phone and dialed 9-1-1.
“This is 9-1-1. What is your emergency?”
“There was a fight. My husband tried to kill me after he stabbed my friend. I shot him before he could kill me.”
“Ma’am, where are you?”
I gave her Adam’s address.
“Ma’am, stay calm. An ambulance is on its way.”
“Thank you.”
I went to the foyer and sat down on the first step of the front hall stairs. Holy shit! It’s really over. I burst into tears and the tears became wails. I cried so hard I gasped for air. I felt every emotion that I had felt since the assault: intense pain, happiness, and sorrow, all at once. That’s not how he was supposed to be punished. That’s not how it was supposed to end. He was supposed to rot in prison, all alone, for the awful things he did. He was supposed to suffer like we did. He was supposed to think about it every day for the rest of his life, like I will. He was supposed to repent. He was supposed to finally understand the weight of the word “guilty”. Instead he destroyed my only hope and my best shot at happiness. I held my head in my hands and tried to focus on each slow, deliberate breath. I’m alive, thank God. I’m going to be okay. I have to be okay.
The sound of sirens grew louder. Flashing lights filled the driveway. My heart raced. Stay calm. This was not my fault. How would I convince the police if I didn’t believe it myself?
A loud knock on the door was followed by, “Mr. Hart?”
I opened the front door and pointed to the den.
A wave of uniformed bodies filed past me, quickly going to work, checking for pulses, snapping photos, and preparing stretchers.
A female detective approached me. “Come with me please,” she said.
I followed her into the kitchen.
“Please sit down. Are you okay?” she said.
I shook my head, tears still moistened my cheeks.
“Can you tell me what happened?” She pulled a tape recorder out of her pocket and hit play, “February 27, 2018. Hart residence. 87 E. Vista Drive.”
“I was scared. I knew that my husband, Nate might be let out of jail any day, but I didn’t know when, so I asked my neighbor and friend, Adam Hart, if I could stay here. He was upstairs packing and I was watching t.v. back here in the den.”
She looked up from a notepad where she was taking notes.
“Packing for what?”
“Adam and I were going back to Chicago. We were planning to move there together. His wife recently died and I was going to file for divorce. We wanted to go home to be near our families.”
“Okay. Where was your husband?”
“He was in prison, like I said. He had been serving a sentence for DWI, but was held for longer because his DNA matched a rape kit. He struck a plea deal with the District Attorney was getting probation for the rest of his sentence.”
“Okay, so you believe he was released today?”
“I guess so. He came in the front door. It was locked but he said he knew the code. I screamed when I saw him. Adam came downstairs. He must have grabbed a knife from the kitchen because he had it behind his back.”
“Then what?”
“They began to argue. Nate said I needed to go home with him. I said no. I told him I was leaving him and staying with Adam. He demanded that I go home with him. Adam told him to leave. Instead he started to come toward me, I think he was going to try to drag me home. Adam pulled the knife out and told Nate to leave. He said he would call the police if Nate didn’t go.”
“Then what?”
“Nate lunged at him and they struggled for control of the knife. They were on the ground and then Nate stabbed Adam in the chest.”
“And where were you when all this was happening?”
“A few feet away. It all happened so fast. I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“So what happened after Nate stabbed Adam?”
“Nate told me that he was going to call the police and say it was self-defense and I would have to tell the same story. I said I wouldn’t lie to the police. That’s when he came at me with the knife, so I pulled the gun out and fired. Several times. He was coming at me. I was terrified. I shot him. I can’t believe it. I was so scared. He fell back onto the ground. I waited a few minutes to make sure he didn’t get up and come after me, and then I went into the kitchen to call 9-1-1.”
“Where’s the gun? Is it your gun?”
“No, I assume it was Nate’s. I found it in our house a couple of months ago. I decided to start carrying it around for protection. I was living all alone in that big house next door. I started getting threats from men who said I made up my whole story for attention and fame. I was scared one of them would actually do what they promised to do in their anonymous notes, voicemails, social media posts, and online rants.”
“What story?”
“The rape,” I said. “I didn’t…make
it up. I was raped. By Nate.”
“Your husband?”
I nodded. “Before we were married.”
“I’m so sorry. And what threats were you getting?”