Remus Johnstone was the greatest tutor in Avondale, and one of the reasons for the accolade was that he knew when to push his pupils, and when to back off. He didn’t let up, though Ella’s obvious fight or flight was peaking as she kept glancing at the exit. “Ella, you now know more about Cordray than most people in his life. Before Henry brought you to me, I thought Cord must be the only one of his kind – to be able to cast his Pulse as he did. How lonely and scary it is to have to keep such a large secret. I’d like to tutor the two of you together, with Rory and Henry learning alongside you both to see if casting one’s Pulse can be taught.” Remus straightened, though his tone was still low and nonthreatening. “But you have to be willing to open up about your gift. I’ll not be brave for you. That’s something you’ll need to choose for yourself.”
Ella was just frustrated enough to respond with a glare. He’d pushed her to this point, so to act as if any of it had been her choice to expose was laughable. Still, this final decision was for her to make, and she knew she was in too deep to back out now. She pinched her side, hugging herself as she lowered her chin to the ground, her voice coming out barely above a whisper. “If it’s my Pulse that I’m casting, then my ability is Listening. And Seeing, I guess.” When they only looked more confused, Ella shifted from side to side, wishing she didn’t have to be brave. She wished she could run to her father and hide away from all the things that threatened her sanity. There so many things she wished for in that moment, but she sucked in her lower lip and pressed on, choosing courage over running into the shadows. “I can hear through walls. Sometimes through whole buildings and down streets. I can see through walls, too.”
21
Comfort and Chaos
Rory and Cordray gasped, With Rory taking a telling step back.
When Ella saw Rory’s hand fly over her mouth, she panicked. “But I don’t mean to do it sometimes! When I get overwhelmed, it sort of just happens. I don’t mean to eavesdrop most of the time.” Guilt swept over her, and she hung her head. “But other times I do it on purpose.”
Remus’ shoulders rolled back, breathing easier now that the cards were all out on the table. “That’s far better, isn’t it? Now we all have a reason to keep our little group quiet. We can study with each other, and learn together as we figure out how this has happened twice, and what it means that magic is evolving right before us.”
Rory was still processing while Cordray took a step forward, his expression earnest to both hear Ella’s case, and for his own to be heard. “When did casting first happen for you? Mine was when Malaura was about to kill me. I didn’t know what I was doing. It sort of just blasted out of me. Was it like that for you? How long have you had your abilities?”
Ella glanced toward Remus again, seeking out the silent push she knew he would give her with a simple nod. “My first time was when I was a little girl. My mother was sick.” She choked on the word “mother,” but forced herself to speak her piece. “They wouldn’t tell me what was happening, but there were too many doctors, and she looked frail. My mother was never frail, but that day, she was.” She paused, wishing she didn’t have to tell anyone. “I don’t like this story. Can we be done with this?”
Henry was fighting to focus, his voice vacillating between dreamy and compassionate. “Oh, blue eyes. Come here.” He patted the spot beside him on the couch, a pleasant adoration on his face when he took in her squirming. He sighed as if she’d been the rib missing from his side when she slid in next to him, tucking under his arm and returning to where she belonged.
Ella didn’t care if they saw her snuggling into the comfort Henry offered; she only cared that he was there, and that she didn’t have to get through this terrible story alone.
Henry played with a few curls that had come loose at the base of her neck, relaxing her in an attempt to seal themselves off from the others, so it was only her and only him invited to her childhood traumas. “Tell me, Ella. There’s not a thing about you I don’t want to know.”
She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand finding its way over his heart, so she could rub her favorite spot on his body. “She used to make singing pies. Pies so good, they made my dad sing.”
Henry gave an airy, one-noted laugh through his nose. “That’s cute. Which kind was your favorite?”
“All of them. Well, peach crumble,” she admitted. “But I told her I was still searching for my favorite kind, so every Sunday, she would make another pie in a different flavor, and my dad would sing through the house while it baked.” She pictured her father, younger and far more carefree. He’d had brown hair with no gray when she’d been little. “I got my blonde curls from my mother. She always wore her hair pinned with a pearl clip. So fancy. No matter what she was doing—scrubbing the floors or going out to a show with dad—she was always the most spectacular woman in the room.” Ella’s voice drifted as she unlocked the memory box she tried not to open in mixed company.
Henry smiled and eased into the cuddle, as if there was nothing harrowing at all in their lives, and they were sitting alone, trading stories to pass the time. “What was her name?”
“Cindy. They said she’d be okay, but I knew they were lying. Or maybe not lying, but telling me things I wanted to hear. I was kept out in the hallway while they worked on her, and that’s when I sent out my Listening for the first time.” She squirmed, still hoping for acceptance. “I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to hear what they were saying about her condition. Then, when my father took me down the hall to the vending machines, I could still hear the doctors as if they were right next to me. It was a long time before I told my dad, but when I did, everything changed.” She rubbed Henry’s sternum. “He started to go gray after that. He stopped singing, too. Though, that was because there was no one to bake pies anymore. Neither of us had the stomach for them after mom died.”
Henry’s fingers stroked slowly up and down her arm as he gathered her closer. He was warm when the world felt impossibly cold. The others remained silent, respecting the somber story, and the woman who’d lived through it and tumbled out the other end changed.
Henry’s voice was low and soothing. “Cordray’s dealing with his ability to cast his magic, but it’s hard for him. It’s uncharted territory. To go through that when you were just a girl, while losing your mother on top of it? We have Remus to help us figure things out. You didn’t have anyone.” He turned his chin and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger.
“I had my father, who helped me control my… whatever it is. My Pulse, I guess. But we were afraid. That was back when Malaura was gathering her collection of Lethals from the shadows. We only had each other, so we kept everything just between us.” Her nose wrinkled as a foul memory came over her, shredding her heart with the bleakness of her life. “Then my father was coerced into marriage with a horrible woman who used her Pulse of Submission on him, and he told her my secrets. She’s kept me hostage with the threat of letting it all out for two years now. Two years of being her servant and letting her get away with whatever she wants. All while I stand there and shine the floors my mother danced on so that she can entertain the Baron, who sat in my father’s chair at dinner.”
Henry examined his fingers curiously. “Rory, your Pulse is starting to wear off. I’m getting shooting pangs of rage. It’s stripping away your Peace.”
Remus held up his hand to stop Rory from giving him another dose. “That’s a healthy anger, son. The Baron made a pass at Ella, and Lady Tremaine gave her a black eye for drawing his attention.”
Rory blanched and covered her mouth. “The woman who came to the Dinner of the Elite with the Baron? Is that her? That’s your stepmother?” She cast aside her decorum and gagged. “Ack! She’s horrible! Going on and on about locking up Lethals while Cord is at the table, minding his own business and just trying to get through a meal!”
Remus slid off his desk and slowly moved toward Ella, squatting down before her with an earnest understanding in his gray eyes. “My
Pulse is Comfort. May I…” He offered up a hand, but didn’t touch hers until she consented with a tentative nod. He wound his fingers through hers, and after a few beats, Ella’s shoulders began to relax.
“Wow, that’s…” Ella’s head tilted to the side as her face pulled with an expression that could’ve been misconstrued as pain. “I could see getting addicted to that.”
Remus gave her half a smile. “I try not to use it all that often.”
Ella could feel the Pulse fading in potency, but his fingers remained twined through hers. With Henry allowing her to mold her body into his side as much as she wished, and Remus holding her hand, she wondered how anyone could be unhappy when surrounded by such warmth. “Thank you.” She glanced around at the others, who seemed united in their sadness. “I think I like it here.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Remus remained kneeling before her as he pressed on. “We’re fairly certain the Baron knew about Cordray’s kidnapping before it happened, but we haven’t been able to prove it. I believe it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be at risk, as well. It’s the not the king we need to keep our secrets from, but other, less reputable government officials.”
Ella nodded slowly, letting his words sink in.
“Malaura’s dead, but people are still afraid. They don’t trust new magic, because uncovering and exploiting it was her obsession.” Remus sandwiched both of her hands between his. “I don’t know how to get you away from Lady Tremaine without her potentially blabbering to the world all about your abilities. Your father was right; you’ll be at risk by those who fear such things.”
Henry kissed her temple and kept his lips there while he spoke, inhaling the fragrance of her skin. “Then she’ll move in here, or into the palace. Father won’t hang her out to dry.” He glanced at Cordray. “He didn’t give Cord any trouble.”
Ella stiffened against Henry, but the others continued on figuring out their next move. She leaned up and whispered, “Can I talk to you in private?”
Henry quirked his eyebrow at her, but obliged, standing with a lax deportment as they excused themselves from the study.
The moment the door shut them in the hallway, Ella’s tongue loosened. “Did you seriously just ask me to move in with you?”
Henry mulled over his last few exchanges, and then shrank. “I guess I sort of did. Probably should’ve asked you with flowers or something romantic.”
Touching her forehead, Ella began pacing back and forth. “We only just kissed for the first time yesterday. That’s insane!”
Henry held up his hands. “Look, Rory’s Pulse was messing with me. Of course it’s too soon to move in together. But honestly? I can’t imagine I’ll feel any different in another half a year. I love being near you, and if you move in, then we’ll be together all the time. I’m not seeing a downside.”
Ella shook her head, trying to think rationally. “We haven’t even been on a real date, Henry. We have no idea how we can be together without Lady Tremaine blowing it all up. Do you think Cordray enjoys being ostracized? Abducted? That’s what we’re talking about if my gifts go public—which is what will happen if people know we’re together. I’ll be under a microscope.”
Henry leaned against the wall, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Look, you can keep your secret as long as you want. I’m not denying that there are sizeable downsides here. But I don’t like the idea that the woman I’m crazy about can’t see being with me as a pro that outweighs all the other cons.”
Ella stopped in her tracks, horrified that this was the conclusion he’d drawn. “Henry, I’m risking my freedom to be here with you. If Lady Tremaine found out that I wasn’t shining Remus’ silverware right now…”
“You call this free? You’re not free, Ella. You’re trapped in that house with the sword always over your head. So your secret gets out. What’s the worst that could happen?”
She got so worked up that she began talking with her hands. “Um, why don’t you go ask Cord? Abduction? Torture? Near-death escape?”
“Malaura’s dead! What else you got?”
“Her followers aren’t!”
“They were targeting Lethals, which you are not.”
Ella folded her arms over her chest and shook her head, her eyes fixed on his shoes. “You have no idea the damage I could do if pushed. The wrong people will do all they can to exploit me.”
“That’s always going to be true. Wouldn’t you rather I’m there by your side to help you when you do get pushed? Not if, but when, Ella. Make no mistake, your secret will come out someday. The question is, do you want me with you when it does?”
She took in the tightness of his eyes, his stern jaw, and the guarded body language that made her wonder how she’d missed that he was worried about losing her. Wanting to be closer was the cause of his obstinance, and she knew she couldn’t fault him for that.
Her shoulders dropped, and the fight went out of her. “Of course I do. I just… I don’t know how this works.” She stepped back to lean against the opposite wall, rubbing her temples. “We haven’t even been on a proper date yet, and things are already so chaotic and serious. I like being serious with you. It’s the chaos part I’m having trouble with.”
Henry began to breathe more evenly, and his voice lightened. “Well, I might not be able to give you all the answers tonight, but that one can be solved.”
“We can’t be seen in public,” she reminded him.
“Not to worry. I know somewhere very out of the way that would be perfect. I’ll set it all up for next week.” He moved over to her without his former frustration, reaching out to hold her hands so their wrists could sway gently between their bodies. “You’re right. There are too many complications. And I did all of it in the wrong order. I shouldn’t have asked you to move in with me before I’ve taken you out.” He leaned in to kiss her, sighing contentedly at the contact. “I don’t do things halfway, Ella. You should know that about me.”
Her chin tilted to the side. “You don’t say.”
“I can move slower, but I’ll be shooting down any suggestions that land you in a separate bed than mine. Best night’s sleep of my life, last night. When you’re here, will you stay in my bed?”
Heat colored Ella’s cheeks at his request. She was grateful he’d insisted on that one stipulation. Now that she’d slept in his arms, she wasn’t sure how she would ever rest anywhere else.
22
Red and Rafe
By the end of her four days at Remus’ home, Ella had truly found her stride among the closely-knit group. Cordray had taken an easy liking to her, claiming her as his twin sister, since they were the only two of their kind. Being able to cast magic had bound them more quickly than any other commonality. Rory and Cordray stayed a few nights at Remus’ just so the five could study together by day and hang out as friends in the evening. Each time Cordray went out, he always made sure to come back with a small trinket for his wife, and a second small something for Ella.
“Cord, I can’t take that home. But it can stay in Henry’s bedroom here, so I can enjoy it when I come back next week.”
Cordray’s face fell as reality began to dawn on him. He removed the card game from the town car with a frown that stood out against the snow. “I don’t like this. This is really the plan, Remus? Her black eye only just faded yesterday. What if that woman returns Ella with a broken leg?” Cord had taken to calling Lady Tremaine “that woman,” which made Ella smirk every time.
Remus paused in the moonlight outside the driver’s side of the town car, having waited until the last moment to return Ella, as promised. “I don’t like it any more than you do. But until we find a way to make sure Lady Tremaine stays quiet about Ella, this is the boat we’re in.”
“How about reporting her for knocking around her stepdaughter? That should take her down a few pegs,” Rory suggested, wrapping her arms around Ella as the brisk night air kissed their faces.
Ella didn’t mind the cold so much anymore, now
that she had a proper winter jacket. She would have to leave Henry’s coat in the back of the town car, but the oversized shield from the fast-falling snow felt snug as winter warned them it was finally here.
“You can’t embarrass a woman with no shame,” Remus replied sagely. “She paraded Ella in front of us and admitted to using force to keep her servant in line.” He leaned his forearms on the roof of the car. “Unless Ella’s willing to go public with her abilities, I have to return her.” He met Ella’s eyes across the top of the car and turned his palms up to give her one last chance to change her mind.
Ella swallowed hard, wishing for an option with no damning ramifications. Her father’s wisdom had always been “Have the courage to be kind,” but Ella couldn’t find courage anywhere in her choice, nor was she going back out of kindness. She was returning out of fear, which she knew wasn’t a good reason to do anything.
She leaned into Rory, suddenly feeling the weight of how terrible it would be to leave her side. She had been Ella’s cheerleader through the steep learning curve that was fine-tuning her Pulse. When it was Rory’s turn to flail and falter, Ella had cheered her on all the more, teaching her meditation techniques that actually did help Rory control her Pulse of Peace far better than she’d been able to four days ago. The girls worked in tandem, braiding each other’s hair to match, playing cards with the guys, and staying up far too late sharing secrets and childhood stories. Ella’s father had kept her away from children for the most part, and Lady Tremaine didn’t allot much time for Ella to have a social life, so she cherished every sisterly moment and exuberant hug.
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