You have something special and unique to bring to the world that no one else does. Take this book, for example. There are thousands of self-help books that have been published throughout history to help us in our journey to achieve our goals. However, I truly believe that no one else could have written this particular book in this particular way except for me. By no means am I bragging or boasting. What I am trying to communicate to you is that the task of writing this book was designated to me exclusively. There can be someone out there with the exact same title, the exact same principles and even the exact same examples, but it will never be the same book. The task of writing this book was given to me specifically by God to bring into existence and share with the world.
The same goes for you—God has called you to produce or to do something that only you can do. Regardless of the magnitude of the contribution. No matter how seemingly small or large, during your time on this earth you are destined to accomplish something that only you are meant to do.
It is extremely important for you to operate daily in a space where you truly believe that you have something that sets you apart and that you were created to leave a positive and unique footprint on this world. Declare this truth to yourself. Remind yourself often that you have something unique to contribute to the world.
Failure to recognize your ability to positively impact your own life and society as a whole can prompt you to begin looking outward. And when you look outward instead of inward, you fall prey to distractions that take you away from your own individual path, resulting in discouragement about your own prospects.
In the age that we live in, particularly because of the wide usage and notoriety of social media, we often see others flaunt their material belongings, routinely recount their own success stories, or even just outright brag about what they have and what they have accomplished. This can cause those of us who are still trying to figure things out and find our way to become disheartened if our life does not “measure up” to the lives that others are projecting on television and on social media.
Between the ages of 22 and 25, I could not find a job in my field of study. Well, the word “find” is kind of generous. It was more like no employer in my field would hire me. I had already earned my bachelor’s degree and would go on to earn my master’s degree during that time period but still, every single job I applied that had any relation to my major turned me down.
As a result, in order to make ends meet, I had to take whatever employment I could find. And the only place that would hire me was CVS Pharmacy. With two college degrees in hand I was working at CVS stocking shelves, unloading trucks, and taking out trash. Every single day.
I recall becoming discouraged at times because I was broke, living paycheck to paycheck, dwelling in small basement apartments, borrowing from friends and loved ones, trying to find my way, and wondering why the majority of my peers were seemingly thriving while I was struggling. But I had to remind myself, and sometimes still have to, that I am on my own unique path. Which means I am on a unique timetable and that what others are doing has absolutely no impact on what is destined for me.
Had it not been for that period of my life, I would not be the person I am today. I wouldn’t have a secure job in my field of study. I wouldn’t have started my own nonprofit organization working with youth in low-income communities. I wouldn’t be traveling the world at my leisure. Lastly, I certainly wouldn’t be in a position to write this book. My unique path has prepared me for where I am today.
What’s for you is what’s for you, when it’s for you. Where you are currently in life is prepping you for who you are destined to become. When discouragement looms and you begin comparing your life to the lives of others, always remember that their life is their life. Their lane is their lane. Their definition of success is different than your definition of success.
While it’s great that others are flourishing and succeeding, they have their own path that is completely separate from yours. What good does comparing your life to someone else’s do when you are each doing and want completely different things, and are on completely different paths? None. Unless those people can help you get to where you want to be, there is no reason to concern yourself with what they are doing.
To take it a step further, who is to say that those whose lives you covet are even doing all the things they say they are doing or actually have the things they say they have? It’s unfortunate that this point has to be made, but this is the era in which we live. People often fabricate their lives for the sake of being noticed and garnering attention.
A lot of people talk about what they are going to do all the time, but you never see results. Don’t be that person. As Matthew 7:16 (NIV) says, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” We don’t get recognized for all the things we talk about we are going to do. We are recognized by the actions we carry out and the processes we see all the way through. Think about it, if you personally know people who put on facades, what makes you think that people who you only know because of social media, or YouTube channels, or television shows aren’t doing the exact same thing?
My intent is not to belittle anyone. Like the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul Mary J. Blige said, there’s no “hateration” or any “holleration in this danceree.” I’m all for the glow up. However, you could possibly be comparing yourself to people who are only putting up a front to make their life seem better than it really is. Unconsciously, you may be coveting a quality of life that is less than the one you’re currently living.
Comparing yourself and your capabilities to others not only steals the joy that you have within yourself but it also distracts you from the unique path that is in front of you. While you are still in the process of figuring your life out or working on the goals you have set for yourself, it may be necessary to delete your social media apps, stop watching channels and shows, or cease talking to certain people so that you don’t lose focus on your own unique path. Also, so you aren’t tempted to compare your walk to others. Protect your path and your vision by any means necessary.
In whatever you do, don’t let what other people are doing, whether truthfully or dishonestly, distract you from your own unique path and purpose.
Now, when you find your own lane and set out on your path, do believe there are going to be a lot of naysayers. Everyone who you encounter is not going to like you. Many are not going to be on board with the endeavors you pursue or the moves that you make. Most are not going to celebrate you. They’re not going to dap you up. They are not going to shout you out. Shoot, they probably won’t even acknowledge that they see what you are doing and instead will critique you and talk about you behind your back. But you know what? Who. Really. Cares? Someone else’s opinion or approval of you is quite frankly none of your business.
Take Russell Westbrook, for example. Westbrook is one of the most unique and unapologetic players in the NBA today. From the interesting fashion decisions he makes to how he interacts so candidly and honestly with reporters and the expressive and explosive way he competes every single game, Russell Westbrook is clearly in a world of his own.
In March of 2017, soda brand Mountain Dew premiered a commercial featuring Westbrook. In the commercial, Westbrook runs through a laundry list of things that people tell him not to do. The commercial concludes with him about to perform a motorcycle stunt involving a ramp and a flaming basketball hoop, however, right before he takes off on the motorcycle, he takes a sip of Mountain Dew (of course) and declares, “Don’t do they, do you.”
This “do you” approach that Westbrook abides by has obviously worked out for him on the court. In the 2016-2017 NBA season, Westbrook became only the second player in NBA history to average a triple double (at least 10 points, 10 rebounds and 10 assists) for an entire season, he broke the long standing record for the most triple doubles in a season, and he won the regular season Most Valuable Player award, all while leading his team to the playoffs. Not only that, but he appears to be living his best life off the cou
rt as well, with little regard for anything critics or spectators have to say about him.
People are going to talk, but the beauty of life is that you have no obligation to listen to anything they say. Embrace the fact that what you do with your life isn’t about anyone else. It is about being who you are destined to be, making the most of the time you have been blessed with on this earth, and doing what God placed in your heart to do. Too often, people miss their calling, bypass opportunities, or don’t do the things they really want to do simply because of how they think they will be perceived or what others will say. They fear looking silly or getting the “I told you so” from spectators if things don’t necessarily go the way they initially envisioned.
There’s a way to avoid this: Until you accomplish your goal, hold off from talking about it. Make moves, not announcements. When you make announcements, you attract unnecessary attention that may have an adverse effect on your path. Just go after what you want and let your results do the talking for you.
Your dream is yours and only yours—no one else’s. Be selective of who you talk to about your goals or plans. Sometimes it is best to keep things to yourself until you accomplish what it is you set out to accomplish because you never know the extent of anyone else’s malicious intent.
Feedback and good counsel are extremely important and beneficial. None of us have all the answers. But you have to discern whether that criticism is constructive or fruitless. You also have to evaluate the source from which that criticism/advice is coming from. Examine their fruit then decide whether or not you need to take what they are saying with a grain of salt. It will not benefit you to listen to someone who hasn’t done much with his or her life or who cannot help you get to where you want to be.
You were put on this earth for a reason. You were blessed with certain abilities and you have interests that are specific to you. You have something to offer the world that has never seen before. So when you attempt to fit into the box that society has tried to cram you into, you are doing God, yourself, your family, and society a disservice. Don’t deprive yourself of your highest and fullest life experience. God created you how you are for a reason.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Be unapologetic about who you are. No matter how you may come across to others, stay true to yourself. Don’t shrink yourself to fit in. Stand out and shine bright. Block out the unnecessary noise and remain focused on attaining the life that you have envisioned for yourself. Remember, most people are not going to understand you because your gifts and your path are unique to you. Mold your natural abilities into skills, unapologetically go after what you want, and become indifferent to negativity voiced by others regarding your affairs.
This is your life. Live it the way you want to live it. Pursue what it is you want to pursue. And create your own path. Despite the irrelevant opinions of others.
5
See Your Shot Going In Before You Shoot It
Every time I rise up, I have confidence that I am going to make it.
STEPHEN CURRY
3-time NBA champion, 2-time NBA MVP, and 5-time NBA All-Star
As much as preparation, hard work, and sacrifice are important to realizing your dreams and accomplishing your goals, there is another deliberate action we must take that is just as significant as the others: forming a clear mental picture of success prior to attaining it. As you think, so shall you be. It is imperative that you visualize yourself in the state that you want to be in, prior to arriving in that state.
When you have a clear mental picture of what you want and an unbounded desire to accomplish your goal, coupled with putting in the necessary effort, you are actively being drawn towards realizing that goal.
For those of you who played basketball growing up (or any sport for that matter), I’m sure you can recall being encouraged and instructed by your coaches, trainers, and parents to be confident in your ability to score and to perform effectively. Confidence is engrained in athletes from little league all the way up to the highest level of competitive play. Having confidence in your abilities and seeing yourself scoring prior to doing so is key to improving the likelihood of scoring, and ultimately winning.
As you are encouraged to believe in yourself on the court and on the playing field, believe that you are able to do whatever you put your mind to in everything you do.
To further emphasize the importance of having confidence and visualizing success prior to attaining it, several studies have been conducted utilizing basketball in order to test the power of visualization.
One of the most notable sport-based studies on visualization was conducted in 1996 by Dr. Judd Biasiotto of the University of Chicago. Biasiotto split a random grouping of students into three different groups and had them shoot free throws. After they shot their free throws, he then gave each group a specific assignment.
The first group had to practice shooting free throws every day. The second group could not touch a ball and was instructed to do nothing. The third group could not touch a basketball just like the second group but had to visualize themselves shooting and making each one of their free throws every day. After 30 days, the three groups reconvened and Dr. Biasiotto had them shoot the same number of free throws as before.
The first group that practiced shooting every day improved their free throw percentage by 24 percent.
The second group that was prohibited from practicing showed no improvement in their free throw percentage.
The third group that did not practice but was instructed to simply visualize making free throws in their mind improved their free throw shooting percentage by 23 percent.
The results from the study suggest that visualizing yourself making free throws is just as effective as practicing free throws.[iv] This infers that seeing yourself accomplishing something prior to undertaking it has a positive impact on the likelihood of being successful at that endeavor.
Knowing this, imagine how much more likely you are to accomplish your goals if you visualize yourself in the state you want to be in and you put in the necessary work to get there. You would be pretty much unstoppable!
See and feel yourself in the specific state that you want to be in. Channel the emotions that are attached to being in your desired state—feelings of happiness, accomplishment, and fulfillment. Walk like it. Talk like it. Dress like you are already working in your dream vocation. Talk to friends about places you have booked to travel to in the future. Buy clothes (or put them in your online cart) that are at your desired size at the end of your fitness journey. Act as if you are already where you want to be in life.
One of the most underutilized yet effective moves that a basketball player can perform is the pump fake. The pump fake allows players to get their opponents off of their feet, clearing the way for an easy basket for themselves or for their teammate. The pump fake also increases a player’s chances of drawing a foul on their opponent while in the act of shooting, thus putting them on the free throw line to shoot one-to-three uncontested free throws. You are merely acting as if you are going to try to score, but when you pump fake, it is all a ploy to deceive the defender to improve your likelihood of scoring.
Start doing your own pump faking. Deceive your subconscious defenders (fear, ego, doubt, etc.) so that you push negative thoughts and emotions to the side that have the potential to block you from progressing towards living your best life.
Imagine how it would feel if you were in the state you wanted to be in or had the things that you desire and attach yourself to the emotions that correspond to that state or possession. Hold on to that feeling throughout your day. Whatever it is that puts you in the space to receive the results you desire, do those things. (Pump) fake it, until you make it.
Adopt this approach in all applicable areas of your life that you want to see change in. Your thoughts and your emotions are the greatest barometers to how you are fairing in life and ultimately affect your outlook on the future. Getting control of your thoughts and emotions now and only accept
ing positivity are steps toward living the life that you aspire to live. Hold on to those positive thoughts and emotions while putting in the necessary work to attain what you want.
Live expectantly. Have the expectation that great things are supposed to happen to you. Believe that good things are supposed to happen and anticipate that what you want will come to pass in your life regardless of the circumstances or situations that you are currently in.
You may think this sounds silly and I’m sure some of you right now are probably questioning the legitimacy of this approach. Well, as we’ve done thus far, let’s relate this principle back to basketball.
Say you are playing ball and you happen to be in a shooting slump. What are some of the thoughts that are going through your head?
No matter what I do, I can’t buy a bucket.
It’s just not my game.
I’m having an off day.
How do you feel when you’re in a shooting slump? More than likely you feel disappointed, defeated, discouraged, and helpless, correct? When you choose to embrace these negative thoughts and emotions while you’re experiencing your shooting slump doesn’t it seem like things get progressively worse and worse?
On the contrary, what if you’re on a hot shooting streak? It’s the complete opposite. You’re in the zone. You believe that anything you put in the air is going to go through the hoop. The ball is basically a pebble and the basket is the ocean. You even have “heat checks”—shooting shots you wouldn’t usually take but you are more confident now because everything is going your way. You feel accomplished, ecstatic, and unstoppable. You feel like anything can and will go your way.
In life—on or off the court—whether you choose to embrace positive thoughts and emotions or you choose to embrace negative thoughts and emotions, based on your decision, one or the other is going to manifest in your life experiences. Why not choose a positive mindset and good vibes only while pursuing your dreams?
Shoot Your Shot Page 4