Surround yourself only with people who force you to become the best version of yourself and want to see you live your best life. Individuals who encourage you to aspire for greatness and become a better person. Those who give you the necessary inspiration to step up, get your stuff in order, and make a meaningful impact. Those who are there when you are putting in the work and do what they are able to do to help you along your path. The ones who are with you shooting in the gym.
By default, who you associate with has a profound impact on the direction your life goes in. In fact, the people you surround yourself with can be the reason why you’re not producing any results in your life to begin with. Just because you have a team, that does not guarantee victory—especially if your team is not comprised of the right personnel. If you are constantly surrounded by people who are complacent, destructive, and have no vision for their lives, eventually you will begin to adopt that behavior and lose sight of your own aspirations. Bad company corrupts good character. So take inventory of your associations, evaluate the people in your life, and make adjustments as necessary.
James Harden serves as a good example of minding your associations. Although he averaged 29.0 points per game during the 2015-2016 season (a career high at the time), Harden didn’t make any of the All-NBA teams and his team—the Houston Rockets—was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs after barely securing the 8th seed in the Western Conference.
At the end of what he deemed the worst year of his life, Harden and his inner circle gathered together in order to reevaluate his life and his career and came to the determination that adjustments were necessary.
Among other things, he ended his high-profile romantic relationship that brought unnecessary attention and served as a distraction. His high school friends moved out of his house. He chose to train with his collegiate trainer at Arizona State University that summer instead of staying at home in Los Angeles. He worked with Houston executives to recruit free agents to join the Rockets. He built a better camaraderie with his teammates off the court in order to improve their chemistry and rapport on the court—the lack thereof is what contributed to the team’s demise the prior year.[ix]
What were the results? For the 2016-2017 season, Harden averaged 29.1 points, 11.2 assists and 8.1 rebounds per gameall career highs. He earned First-Team All-NBA honors. He was one of three finalists for the league’s Most Valuable Player. The Rockets finished with the 3rd best record in the NBA and advanced to the 2nd round of the playoffs before being eliminated. During the 2017-2018 season, Harden led the NBA in scoring at 30.4 points per game, earned First-Team All-NBA honors again, was named league MVP, and led the Rockets to the best record in the NBA, a No.1 seed in the playoffs, and eventually to the Western Conference Finals. When Harden made the decision to make certain changes in his life in regards to the people around him and his interactions with them, not only did his performance improve but the performance of his team did as well.
Teamwork makes the dream work. But your team also has the potential to destroy your dream if those around you aren’t elevating you and do not contribute anything of value. Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” You are only as good as the people whom you consistently surround yourself with.
Let’s use a pick-up basketball game to further illustrate this point. Say you’re the captain in a random pick-up game at the park or in the gym. You have the desire to win as many games as possible so what are you going to do? Pick the best available players on the court to be on your team, right? You may have even brought a few of your friends with you who can hoop to improve the odds of winning. You are intent on having the best squad so that you can increase your likelihood of winning game after game and remain on the court as long as possible.
What is mindboggling to me is that some of us have a greater desire to win in a pick-up basketball game than we do in winning at life. We will fight to get the best players on our team during a recreational game that doesn’t mean much of anything in the grand scheme of things yet, when it really matters, we are content with associating with people who add no value to our lives. The game of life is much more important than a game of basketball. How can you expect to live your best life and win when you team lacks the appropriate personnel to do so? You can’t. Your dream is only as good as your team.
The 1992 USA Men’s Basketball Team, better known as the “Dream Team,” is often referred to as the greatest sports team ever assembled. Comprised of the greatest players in the NBA at the time—and Duke University standout Christian Laettner—the Dream Team competed in the 1992 Olympic games in Barcelona, Spain.
The Dream Team demolished their international competition by an average of 44 points on their way to winning the gold medal. They went 8-0 in Olympic competition. They scored 100 or more points in every single game. The team’s head coach, Chuck Daly, did not even call a single timeout in any of the games.
As of today, 11 of the 12 players on the roster have been inducted into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame. The 1992 team, as a whole, was enshrined in the Olympic Hall of Fame in 2009 and the Basketball Hall of Fame in 2010.
Each player on the Dream Team possessed his own unique skill set and was the best at what he did on the basketball court. When they were assembled together onto one team, they were unstoppable. Naturally they pushed each other and as a result, brought out the best in one another. That is the byproduct of coexisting with greatness.
We are a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with. The more time you spend with people, the more they will begin to rub off on you. And the more they rub off on you, the more you pick up their habits and become like them—regardless of whether they are good influences or bad influences. Those who add no value to your life and are only negative influences can only impede your progress, slow you down, and cause you to remain stagnant. If you truly want to be successful, achieve your goals, and attain happiness, there is absolutely no room in your life for people who do not have your best interests at heart and those who do not provide any value added through your interactions with them.
Be selective with your interactions and whom you choose to spend your time with. You can tell a lot about the future of a person based on the company he or she keeps. So keep those around you who want more out of life with the same passion, the same enthusiasm, and the same intensity as you. Not those who do nothing to build you up, are cynical about your potential for success, or make you question if it is possible to accomplish the goals you set for yourself.
Your goals and interests are not always going to align with those of your friends. But what should be shared is you and your team’s level of drive and ambition. You all should have the desire to hold each other accountable and advocate on one another’s behalf. Influence and advocacy are not one-sided—they go both ways. If you and your friends are aspiring to be the best you can possibly be, in the respective lanes that you all are in, the example you set for each other should motivate you all to go after your dreams even more. Be a part of a team with unique dreams but an identical grind.
If no one in your circle of friends can help you grow, then it’s time for you to find a new group of friends. As the saying goes, “if you’re the smartest person in the room, you need to find a new room.” You should have the desire to align yourself with people you can learn from and who push you beyond your current circumstances. What exactly can you learn from being around those who have nothing to teach you? I’ll tell you what—not anything of value.
What you will learn, however, is how to become a fragment of the person that you are destined to be. You will operate in a space that is lower than your unbounded potential, and you will eventually push aside the dreams that you once had for yourself because you are not being inspired to do more by the company you keep.
However, if you surround yourself with individuals who you can learn from, who push you, and who motivate you, you can use what you have learned, apply it
to your life, and consequently increase the likelihood of success in your own lane.
Similar to how the greatest basketball players on the face of the earth have facets of their game that need improvement, even the smartest or most successful person has an area of his or her life in which he or she has room to improve.
There is someone who does something better than you and, at the same time, there is something you do better than him or her. Having a relationship with that person can be mutually beneficial and prompt each of you to grow in some capacity you may not have otherwise grown without that interaction.
When you are the only go-getter out of all the people you interact with, sooner or later you are going to lower your standards for life and disregard your dreams. Eventually, you will begin to unconsciously sink to the level of complacency of those who are around you. You are better than that. You deserve the best that life has to offer. That includes the best people. It may be tough to cut off family, friends, and significant others who have been in your life for a long time but if they are not adding anything to your life, you have to make the decision for yourself to stop interacting with them. Only the people who encourage you to grow should be a part of your journey.
Some of the greatest players in NBA history have never won a championship. They may have great individual stats and perhaps hold some records, but because the pieces on their teams were not there, they always came up short in their quest to win a championship. In recent years, we’ve even seen superstars join teams with other superstars who could help them accomplish their goal of winning a championship. I’m not arguing for or against the decisions of these players, but rather using these examples to put things into perspective for you. If some of the top athletes in the world recognize they cannot win on their own and that their goal of winning a championship depends in part on the player make up of their team, what makes you think you can be successful with people in your life who do nothing but hold you back from realizing your greatness?
It may be necessary for you to make the unpopular decision to disassociate with a certain friend or a group of people so that you can begin building with those who will help you achieve your dreams. Best believe you’re going to get criticized. People are going to say you think you’re too good for them. If they are content with remaining stagnate, they’re absolutely right—you are too good for them. If you want to elevate yourself, you have to elevate your associations.
Sometimes we outgrow people, for whatever reason. It is a part of life. Some people are around for a season and others are around for a lifetime. Learn to distinguish one from the other. Don’t cling to people because of the length of time you have known them. Rather, maintain relationships based on the positive interactions you have with each other. It is okay to part ways when value is no longer added to your life with a particular association. Wish them well and pray for them, but move on.
It is also necessary to get rid of people who tell you everything you want to hear—better known as “yes men.” Point blank, yes men (or yes people) can ruin your life because they often have hidden agendas. They are only concerned about your well-being as long as it involves some form of personal gain for them.
Instead of allowing yes people to occupy your space, keep those in your company who were there for you from the beginning and those who will hold you accountable for your actions. Those who will always tell you what you need to hear as opposed to what you want to hear. Cherish the people who would rather hurt your feelings momentarily by telling you the truth about yourself as a means to prevent long-term pain and suffering. Having people around who can provide you with constructive criticism is necessary if you want to take your life to the next level. Your ego and your pride may take a hit, but you have to realize that it is all for your benefit.
Always remember, the constructive criticism that your true friends provide you with is coming from a place of love, respect, and the genuine desire to see you become better. They may not always be right, but at least you know they are willing to disagree with you if they feel your actions conflict with your vision for a better life.
The individuals who are a part of my inner circle have no problem telling me about myself. They do it all the time, with no punches held. What they say may hurt at times but I don’t take it personal because the constructive criticism they provide is for my benefit, as they only want me to be my best self.
Without accountability you will continue to do the same things over and over again that cause you to remain stagnant and potentially lead you down a destructive path. When no one is checking you or being honest with you, you are operating under the assumption that everything you do is right. Not one person on this earth is perfect. I don’t know it all. You don’t know it all. Thus, we can all benefit from the insight of others.
Just like it is necessary to take inventory of your thoughts, it is also necessary to take inventory of the people you surround yourself with. Those who encourage you, push you to do better, offer constructive criticism, and add value to your life are the only people you should be interacting with.
Elevation requires separation. On your path to achieving your goals, make the conscious decision to leave behind negativity, toxicity, and stagnation. Only surround yourself with people who can assist you on your journey and serve as positive reinforcement in the pursuit of your best life.
9
Overcome Adversity
No matter how far life pushes you down, no matter how much you hurt, you can always bounce back.
SHERYL SWOOPES
1st woman to be signed to the WNBA, 4-time WNBA Champion, 3-time WNBA MVP, 6-time WNBA All-Star, and a 2016 Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame inductee
In life, wrenches are going to be thrown our way. Something adverse is going to happen from time to time. Nevertheless, no matter what misfortunes may occur, it is up to us to rebound from them. It is up to us to bounce back from moments of adversity and continue on the path towards living our best lives.
When you experience moments of adversity, you haven’t lost. Rather, tough times serve as opportunities for you to push through your present predicament and find a way to get past it. No obstacle is too great for you to overcome if what’s on the other side of that obstacle is something that you truly want and will make your life better.
A family member may pass away unexpectedly, you and your significant other may end a long-term relationship or marriage, you may be diagnosed with an illness, you may get let go from your job, or your business may fail. Something is going to happen eventually. However, it is your duty to push through the adversity you face and to overcome it. This will make you stronger and more resilient, allowing you to be better prepared to handle any hardships that may come your way in the future.
Basketball players often go through situations that can have an adverse effect on their careers. Trades, injuries, getting benched, personal hardships. Many players are unable to bounce back from the adversity they’ve faced. At the same time, there are those who have continued to push through and play at a high level despite their circumstances or the occurrence of setbacks.
Isaiah Thomas lost his sister during the 2017 postseason. He scored 33 points the night after she passed and led the Boston Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals.
New York Knicks legend Willis Reed who sat out of Game 6 of the 1970 NBA Finals due to a torn muscle in his thigh, played in Game 7 despite his injury to help the Knicks win the championship.
Alonzo Mourning retired from basketball in 2003 due to a kidney disease. After receiving a kidney transplant, Mourning returned to the NBA in 2004 and would win an NBA championship in 2006 with the Miami Heat.
Dwyane Wade overcame academic ineligibility during his freshman year at Marquette University, which sidelined him the entire season, to become the 5th pick in the 2003 NBA Draft, a 3-time NBA champion, and a 12-time All-Star.
There are countless stories of players who have overcome adversity to play at a high level. But one of the mos
t well documented tales of overcoming adversity in the NBA is the journey of Golden State Warriors guard Shaun Livingston.
Shaun Livingston entered the NBA being heralded as one of the league’s next superstars. He led his high school basketball team to two state championships, was named Illinois’ “Mr. Basketball” and a McDonald’s All-American during his senior year, and originally committed to attend Duke University before declaring for the NBA draft.
A 6’7 point guard, Livingston towered over other NBA point guards, yet was just as fast as the smaller guards in addition to having great court vision and passing ability. Analysts compared him to Los Angeles Lakers great Magic Johnson before he even suited up for an NBA game.[x] With the 4th pick in the 2004 NBA draft, the Los Angeles Clippers selected Livingston straight out of high school. Livingston’s upside was tremendous. His potential was boundless. His game continued to develop and he kept getting better. Until what is considered one of the most horrific injuries in NBA history occurred.
On February 26, 2007, Livingston landed awkwardly after attempting a layup. He resultantly snapped his leg, injuring almost every major part of his left knee. He tore his ACL, MCL, PCL, and meniscus as well as dislocated his patella and tibiofibular joint. He was even told by one medical professional that he might have to get his leg amputated.[xi] Livingston missed the entire 2007-2008 NBA season in order to rehabilitate from his injury. When the season ended and Livingston’s contract with the Clippers expired, the organization did not extend an offer to retain him, making him a free agent. About sixteen months after sustaining his injury, Livingston was permitted to return to basketball activities.
From the 2008-2009 season to the 2013-2014 season, Livingston had stints with 8 different NBA teams, an NBA Development League team, and was waived 4 different times. However, against all odds, Livingston was seemingly back to good form and in good health. He went on to have a breakout year in 2013-2014 with the Brooklyn Nets, starting in 76 games for the team.
Shoot Your Shot Page 7