“You want Ian, specifically.” Jessica clasped her hands together in delight. “Just like I said.”
Even though Chrissie wanted to argue, she saw no point in lying to herself. “I guess I do. He’s just…I feel good when I’m with him, even though we’re completely different. I mean, completely. He makes me laugh and it’s fun to kiss him but he also makes me feel…solid. I don’t know why. But it’s true.”
Jessica wriggled in her chair, beside herself with glee. “I know why. Because he’s right for you. Besides, you’re not so different. You’re both very smart. You both work at the hospital saving lives.”
“Mine’s a temporary—”
“You both live in Lost Harbor.”
“Neither of us actually live in Lost Harbor.”
“You’re here now, and you never know what the future holds.” Jessica’s optimism sometimes ran away with her, but Chrissie could see her point. With each day that passed, she got more comfortable being back in Lost Harbor. Living here as an adult was a completely different experience from growing up here as a kid under her grandfather’s thumb.
“And—you’re both a little complicated.” Jessica finished up her recitation with a look of triumph. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” Chrissie said dryly. “You’d sic your crystal on me.”
“You know I would.” Jessica shook her auburn hair behind her shoulder. “You can’t argue with the crystal.”
Maya set her elbows on the table with that authoritative manner that always brought people to attention. “I think what we’re all trying to say here is that maybe you should give Ian a chance. Not in a rush-into-bed way, but in a maybe-this-could-be-real way.”
“Is that how it happened with you and Rune?”
A glow lit up Maya’s dark honey eyes. “Not exactly. First of all, we knew each other as kids, from that year my dad was stationed in Hawaii. Then he became my fake holiday boyfriend. He did such a good job at that, I couldn’t help falling in love with him.”
Chrissie eyed her wistfully. Maya made it sound so simple. Would that ever happen to her? She’d thought she was in love with her ex-husband, but now she knew that it had never been real. He’d manipulated her, and she’d been so young and alone and naive.
Ever since then, she’d protected herself in whatever way she could. Including—it occurred to her—being cynical.
“I suppose I could try it. But what if—” She broke off, then swallowed the rest of her wine. So many what-ifs, she didn’t know where to start.
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if your heart gets broken? Or his?” Maya touched her hand with a sympathetic smile. “It’s always a risk. For everyone. Nothing’s a guarantee.”
“Ugh, do you have to be so logical and realistic?” Chrissie turned to Jessica. “Come on, help me out here. Isn’t there something inspirational you can throw at me? You’re with Ethan now and you’re madly in love.”
“Yes, but Maya’s right.” Jessica shrugged. “It’s always a risk. I’ve thought about this a lot. It’s all about opening your heart. That’s what makes it so…” she flung her arms to both sides, “amazing. What’s that phrase about breaking open your heart to let the light in?”
“That doesn’t sound medically advisable,” Chrissie murmured. “But thanks for the visual.”
“And there you go, deflecting with a joke.” Jessica took the sting out of her words by jumping to her feet and skipping around the table to give her a little hug. “I mean that in the most affectionate, supportive way possible.”
“That’s because you know you can’t win this trivia contest without me.” She leaned her head briefly against her friend’s arm.
“Another joke,” Maya pointed out as she helped herself to Toni’s pickle. Toni had always hated pickles.
“I get it. You don’t have to announce it every time I make a joke. And that’s not one,” she added quickly, as Toni opened her mouth. “Where’s the next trivia question? Isn’t that what we’re here for, not picking apart Chrissie’s problems?”
“Nope,” Toni told her. “We just lured you here with the contest. Really we wanted to interrogate you about Ian. Successful night out, I’d say.”
“Come for the trivia, stay for the romantic advice,” Jessica said cheerfully, with one last little hug before she stood up. “And we love you no matter what, of course.”
Chrissie picked up her empty wine glass. “Even if I screw up an answer and we miss out on the night at the lodge?”
“Impossible,” Jessica declared. “I have total faith in you and your bizzarro homeschool education. But yes, even then. My heart is open and the light is pouring in.”
“That bottle of wine is open, can someone pour some in?” Chrissie waved her glass at her friends.
“Joke!” They all chimed in together, while Chrissie burst out laughing.
Maybe she could change some things about herself, but making jokes at inappropriate moments probably wasn’t one of them.
Twenty-Five
For a few days, Ian only saw Chrissie in bits and pieces. A glimpse of her sexy flight suit as she helped load a patient onto a Mediguard chopper. A quick hello when they crossed paths at Gretel’s Café, her with coffee cup in hand, hurrying to work.
Inside, Chrissie’s name was posted on the blackboard as the winner of trivia night.
Gretel caught him scanning the blackboard. “You should come and play next week. It was a lot of fun.”
“Maybe.”
She smiled knowingly. “Trouble? Can I help?”
“Yes. Chrissie’s next five coconut mochas are on me.” He handed her his credit card. “Rounding up to ten dollars, of course.”
“Nice. I’ll let her know.”
The next day, he got a text from Chrissie thanking him. She didn’t mention anything about changing her mind.
He had to admit that he was weakening. He was having trouble sleeping thanks to the memory of her curvaceous body in his arms. He would lie awake and relive every moment over and over again. He relieved the pressure himself, with his own hand, but he was always left wanting her even more.
A few days later, Lucas Holt texted Ian that he’d made radio contact with the Desperado, and to come on out if he wanted to talk to Bo. As Ian drove to Lucas’ office, he caught sight of Chrissie walking Shuri on the beach than ran alongside the road to the harbor. She wore curve-hugging leggings and muddy fishing boots as she tossed a stick for Shuri. Her dog zig-zagged across the pebbled beach, probably distracted by a random piece of kelp or a stray jellyfish.
At that point a telephone pole stared him in the face, and he yanked the wheel to bring himself back on course.
Focus. Where the hell was his famous focus? Gone with the wind off the ocean as it played with Chrissie’s hair.
In the harbormaster’s office, he shook Lucas Holt’s hand. “Thanks for setting this up.” Lucas was a former fisherman himself, Ian had been told. Now he was focused on making the harbor as ecologically forward-thinking as possible. The locals tended to credit—or blame—his new wife, Megan, for that.
“Happy to do it,” Lucas told him. “That first trip to sea can make you pretty homesick. I had a good connection a minute ago, but I lost the signal. Hang on.” He fiddled with a button on the high-tech radio. A cable ran from it through the ceiling, no doubt hooked to a satellite dish on the roof. Nothing but static.
Ian waited while he tried a few more times. Then Lucas turned to him with a sigh. “Sorry. It’s always a crapshoot when they’re that far out.”
“Where are they, exactly?”
Lucas showed him on one of the huge laminated maps pinned to every wall of the office. “Right about here. Bristol Bay.”
So far away…with so much ocean in every direction. “Did you talk to Bo or Tristan?”
“Yes, to both. Tristan says everything’s smooth as butter. Bo said he’s having fun. He also mentioned that he’s only thrown up twice, during an overnight swell.”
A little girl ran into the office just then. Dark-skinned, with radiant brown eyes, she held a heavy textbook in one hand and an ice cream bar in the other. She stopped and looked curiously at Ian.
“Ian, this is my daughter, Ruby. Ruby, Dr. Ian Finnegan.”
“You’re a neurosurgeon?” she asked—a surprising question for a girl who couldn’t be more than ten.
“That’s right. You know me?”
“I’m studying brain structure with my tutor right now. It’s interesting. It’s not my favorite subject, because differential calculus is, but I like it.”
A prodigy, then. He’d been one, in his own way—though he hadn’t been doing advanced math at her age. But he’d been “different” enough to make his parents nervous. A protective feeling came over him, as if he wanted to shield this bright little girl from the outside world that might not understand her.
“Ruby loves math even more than she loves boats, right, sweetheart?” Lucas’ affectionate smile lightened his stern face.
She cocked her head to the side. “What I love most is doing math on our boat.”
Lucas chuckled and ruffled her hair. “That’s my girl.”
Ian watched the rapport between the two of them and couldn’t help wondering—what would his life had been like if his parents had been so accepting?
At that point, Lucas and Ruby launched into a discussion of what they should have for lunch, and if they should walk across the boardwalk to Captain Crabbie’s, which had just opened, or if they should make do with the leftovers Lucas had brought from home.
Ian said goodbye and left the harbormaster’s office, with one last lingering glance at the cozy pair. The sight gave him such a wistful feeling. He’d never given much thought to children of his own, since he’d been more focused on the first step, finding a partner. He didn’t consider himself to be a “kid” person.
He was a pretty good uncle. Then again, Bo always said that Ian was his favorite Finnegan. Maybe that would translate into being a good father. Parenting was a partnership, so maybe his spouse would counterbalance his flaws.
For instance, his reluctance to step out of the niche he’d carved for himself in the world. Brilliant neurosurgeon. Slightly awkward nerd. Very serious person. What if Chrissie was right and he should step out of his comfort zone—and sleep with her?
Or maybe he was cleverly inventing a reason to sleep with her. If so, it was working.
On his way back down the road to town, ocean on one side, mudflats on the other, he craned his neck, searching for Chrissie and Shuri. What should he do if he spotted her? Chase her down and tell her that she’d won? That he hadn’t been able to wait even a week before wanting to drag her into his bed?
Then he did something he rarely, if ever, did. He decided to leave it up to chance. If she was still there, he’d pull over and join her on the beach. If she wasn’t, he’d…
But he didn’t have to decide what he’d do in that case, because there she was, jogging up the beach, laughing and out of breath, with Shuri loping at her heels.
He veered off the road and swung into the parking lot, which was separated from the beach by long driftwood logs. He got out of his car so Chrissie couldn’t miss him. She spotted him and waved, and Shuri trotted toward him, tail perked up.
That chew toy had really done the trick with Shuri. If only presenting Chrissie with a Realtor and a chocolate kiss had been half as effective. Then again, if all he wanted was to sleep with Chrissie, maybe it had worked just fine.
“Hi, Ian!” She waved at him and hopped over a driftwood barrier. Bright color tinted her cheeks and her eyes sparkled bluer than the ocean. “I hope you’re here for a game of stick. Shuri wore me out. I need a break.”
A game of stick…the randy side of him hoped that was a euphemism. That part was already stirring, hyper-aware of her presence the closer she got.
“I can spare some time for my favorite pup.” He bent over to pat Shuri between the ears. She butted her head against him with doggie enthusiasm. “Come on, girl. Let’s find you a good stick.”
“I have one already.” Chrissie offered him a slobbery, chewed-up piece of driftwood.
He looked at it skeptically and shook his head. “I think I can do better than that.”
“Rejecting my mess already?” she joked. At least he hoped she was joking, or he’d never get anywhere. “I hate to break it to you, but playing stick is a slimy game.”
“Of course not. This one’s too short. We need something a little longer, don’t we, Shuri?” He strode to a pile of kindling someone had collected for a bonfire. “Now we’re talking.” He selected a stick that was about twice as long as the one Chrissie had been tossing. “Try this, Shuri.” He flung it with all his might. It spun through the air in a wide arc that sent Shuri into a leaping, racing frenzy.
“Nice.” Chrissie smiled at him, her hands tucked into the pockets of her red and black plaid jacket. She brightened up the muted colors of the beach like a firecracker. “That’s quite an arm you have there. Ever consider football?”
“My father wanted me to play. But I did some research and found out about the risks of CTE—chronic traumatic encephalopathy. Then my mother put the pressure on, so I decided to take the risk. I tried out for the team when I was a freshman. Lucky for me, the physics teacher was also one of the football coaches and he refused to put me on the team.” He caught Chrissie’s eye, suddenly self-conscious. “Sorry, that was a long explanation for my history with football. I enjoy watching it and I play the occasional touch football game. And now my explanation got even longer.”
She was biting her lip to hold back her laughter. “You’re cute when you’re explaining your athletic history.”
“I can tell you about my lap swims if that does anything for you.”
She pretended to fan herself. “Oh my. Be still my heart. That was some excellent flirting. Speaking of which, I have an opportunity for you.”
He lifted his eyebrows at her. “Really?”
“Yes. I met a woman who’s a local weaver, very lovely and talented, and she happened to share with me that she’s looking for a serious relationship.”
He felt his jaw flex. “Are you suggesting that I flirt with her?”
“It could be good practice. I feel duty bound as your teacher to let you know.”
He schooled his expression to show nothing. Inside, something tumultuous was brewing. Enough of this, he wanted to say. Let’s stop the games.
“Then why haven’t you sent me her contact information?”
Her lips parted and he remembered exactly how they’d felt against his. Desire for her clenched in his gut. “I’m…procrastinating.”
He stared at her for a long moment. “So you don’t actually want me to meet her?”
“No,” she admitted softly. “I don’t want you to meet her, even though she’s probably perfect for you. You should see her work. It’s very even and tidy. Not messy at all. She showed me her studio and everything’s in the right place. Even her cat is orderly. She says he never chases her yarn.”
Irresistibly drawn to her, he narrowed the gap between them with one long step. “How would I play stick with a pet like that?”
On cue, Shuri loped to his side, the long stick clenched lopsidedly in her jaw. He bent down and flung it away, not even looking where it was going.
“I didn’t think about that. It’s an important point.”
“It’s not the most important point. The most important one—” He wanted to say something about how he couldn’t stop thinking about her, but she interrupted him.
“Ian, I…” Her eyes shone even deeper blue as she gazed up at him.
“Yes,” he answered firmly.
“Yes to what? I didn’t even finish my sentence.”
“Yes to anything. Except flirting with someone else. I’m not interested in that.”
A flash of joy crossed her face. “Good,” she said simply. “I was trying hard to be a good pers
on and let you find someone more suitable, but I guess I’m just too selfish. I can’t stop thinking about you, you big nerd.”
The beach seemed to shift under him. Emotion swept through him like an earthquake. “Thank God,” he breathed. “Because I can’t either. It’s a good thing I haven’t been doing surgeries because I’d be useless.”
“Useless?”
“I look at an MRI and all I see is sparkling blue eyes and your beautiful smile.”
A short laugh—like a champagne bubble—danced from her lips. “I had no idea neurosurgery could be so romantic.”
He cupped his hand around her face, brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I don’t care anymore how this happens or when, or in what order. I just want to be with you. Use whatever word you want.”
Once again, Shuri appeared at his knee, panting and dripping water from her drenched coat. Chrissie glanced down at her in horror. “Oh my God, she went into the ocean! How far did you throw that stick? Shuri, no. You’re getting Ian all wet and muddy.”
By now, the dog was so excited that she was jumping up on him with sandy paws and a fair amount of drool.
“To be honest, I know exactly how she feels.” He wrestled the stick away from Shuri and prepared to toss it again. “That’s how I feel when I’m with you. Nothing but drool and a big stick.”
She burst out laughing and stopped him before he could release the stick. “Personally, I’ve had enough of the beach on a winter day. And you look like you could use a shower and maybe someone to scrub your back.”
His throat tightened. The bright promise in her eyes told him clearly that this was going to happen. It was real. Nothing was going to stop them now. He felt almost giddy at the thought, as if he was about to finally step onto a merry-go-round after watching it for weeks.
“My place?” he managed. “Bo’s all the way in Bristol Bay.”
She screwed up her face. “I don’t know. Bristol Bay? That’s only a week away. Do you think that’s enough time?”
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