by Abby Gordon
“And she ordered us to find Anna,” Daffyd murmured. “Find Anna and burn wherever she was to the ground so that all would know in future what would be done to them.”
“Queen’s orders,” Anna murmured, glancing at her husband who grinned at her.
She’s found a man who understands her. A strong man with honor and courage, who truly would give his heart and life to protect her.
Four days later later
Striding down the corridor of the Baron’s wing, Griffin’s boot heels struck the stones hard, reflecting his anger and frustration. Why couldn’t Owain and Anna have just accepted his announcement? Why had they had to bring his new guardianship of Mary into the conversation? Entering the connecting corridor, he sent a fulminating glare over his shoulder. Now they worry about court gossip? What a hypocrite Owain is after what Anna went through upon their return from Tutbury. He’d been hard-pressed not to challenge a couple lords when he’d overheard their sneering comments and seen them trying to fondle her. He’d seen the shock followed by the hurt on her face. Hurrying to her side, he’d escorted her the rest of the way to the Queen’s presence. Griffin had been sorely tempted to find his brother and challenge him. Hawkins had summoned him and his temper had abated slightly.
His long legs carried him quickly to the knights’ hall. He’d already packed most of his things and sent them to the ship or to be stored so his chamber was bare. Closing the door behind him, he closed his eyes, trying to banish the image of Mary’s stunned expression. God’s blood but it had hurt to look at her. If Owain and Anna had just been quiet, let things go, then I wouldn’t have to carry that sight with me. Damn them both. Pushing away from the oak, he went to the leather satchel and put the last things inside. His mother’s small copy of Psalms and Proverbs with a note from his father, written as he was dying of the sweating disease. A copy of Homer, in Latin, from Anna, a gift on his birthday three days earlier. The dagger from Owain.
Smiling, he drew the blade and balanced it on his fingertips. Perfectly made, with a line of three roses on either side of the grip, tiny rubies in the center. His smile fading, he shoved the dagger back into the sheath – black leather with a single small red rose stitched at the top.
“Please don’t go,” came a soft whisper at the door.
Whirling, training had him drawing the dagger even though he knew the voice. No fear in her expression, Mary stepped into the room, pushing the door closed behind her. Giving her a hard look, Griffin shot the blade home and set it on top of the books.
“Perhaps you’re not worried about court gossip after all,” he observed. “Maids are not supposed to be in the knights’ wing. Let alone in the chambers of one with the door closed.”
“Griffin, please,” she whispered, stepping towards him. “Please don’t go.”
“Why are you here, Mary?”
“Because I don’t want you to go. I won’t be safe if you’re not here.”
“Owain and Anna will not let anything happen to you.” He smiled slightly. “Anna will cheerfully cut the throat of anyone breathing a bad word about you.”
“She is kind and brave,” Mary agreed. “She said I was as the little sister she didn’t have.”
“There you have it,” Griffin gestured, clenching his jaw slightly at the reminder of what Anna had gone through as a child. Mary went through her own hells with those three brothers of hers. “No one will speak an ill word about you.”
“They will and you know it,” she contradicted him with a shake of her pale blond head. “Please, Griffin. Stay.”
“I cannot. I have orders.”
“But Anna is the Root,” she frowned. “I thought orders had to come from her.”
Closing the satchel, Griffin glanced at her as he did the buckle.
“This is something Walsingham has had planned for months. It’s important to the security of the Queen and England.”
“Why didn’t you tell Anna that?”
“I did.”
“No, you got angry when she questioned you leaving. You were arrogant and insulted her about being the Root.”
Flushing at her accurate words, Griffin planted his hands flat on the top of the table. Mary came up to his side and put a gentle hand on his arm.
“Don’t leave with angry words between you. She considers you a brother for your own sake, not because you are Owain’s.”
“You do know how to stab a man’s heart, don’t you?” he muttered. “Mary, I must go whether Anna and Owain like it or not.”
“Take me with you then. Please. I can help you.”
Laughing at her, he turned to gaze down at her earnest expression. Dark blue eyes stared at up him.
“Mary, you can’t take care of yourself,” he scoffed, biting back the guilt at the hurt that appeared. “And where I’m going, a woman cannot.”
“Why?” she insisted, following him as he crossed the room to the bed. “Because you think you’re so much braver and better than a woman? I’m the one who kept Anna alive when my brothers attacked the Queen and kidnapped her. I’m the one who took her food and water. I’m the one they – ” Turning, with a gasp of remembered agony, Mary covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
Muttering an oath, he turned, catching her shoulder before she was out of reach.
“I know what you did, Mary. Everyone in the Order is grateful beyond words to you. They will protect you as much as Anna.”
“I feel safer with you,” she said softly, leaning against him. “Please, don’t go. Let someone else do this.”
“You are too young to understand,” he told her. “I must do this.”
Wrenching away from him, she glared at him. “Fine. Go, Griffin. Be the selfish bastard Owain said you were.”
That stung. “Selfish bastard am I?” he muttered, both hands gripping her upper arms. “Then I might as well earn every bit of the condemnation you all feel for me.”
Pulling her slight form to his hard body, he crushed her mouth with his. Hearing her startled protest, feeling her feeble effort to escape, he wrapped his arms around her. Capturing the back of her head with his hand, he deepened the kiss, holding her firmly to him, letting her know every inch of him. It was only when his lust-hazed mind realized that she was responding to him and he was dangerously close to losing what little control he had left that Griffin forced himself to end the kiss.
Studying her flushed face, the puffy parted lips as she stared up at him, he had to repeatedly tell himself that he couldn’t do what his cock was urging him to.
“Griff?” she breathed.
“Don’t talk,” he ordered, not trusting himself if she did.
“Please.”
“Dammit, Mary.” He shoved her away from him and backed up until she was out of reach. “Don’t talk. Or I’ll ruin us both.”
“I don’t under –”
“Silence,” he thundered. Total confusion covered her face. “What would you have me do? Throw you on the bed and ease my cock into you?” He gestured across the room. “Or bend you over the table and take you like a rutting stallion mounts the choicest mare in the herd?”
A tremor swept her body and he nodded as she finally understood.
“You are still a child. You’re only sixteen. Yes, you’ve done what few men would have the courage to do, but you are still –” Grinding his teeth, he strode to the table and hefted the strap to his shoulder. “I must go, and you must forget me.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” she whispered.
He glanced at her as a trembling hand went to her lips.
“Do it,” he ordered. “For both our sakes.”
For a long moment, they just stared at each other. Finally, she bent towards the bed and picked up the cloak he’d left. Quietly, she crossed to him. As if she knew not to push him again, Mary simply handed the gray wool to him.
Tossing the cloak over his shoulder, he stared at her a moment.
“Stay safe, Griffin,” Mary quietly told him. “Ma
y God’s angels protect you.”
Not trusting himself further, he strode to the door, flung it open and walked out. Part of him hoped she would call out, follow him again. Part of him was grateful for the silence.
For she was only sixteen.
And he had a mission that no one else could do. Damn you, Walsingham, but this better be as important as you said it was.
Reaching the courtyard door, he saw Trevor, Owain’s man, mounted and holding the reins of his horse.
“Trevor. I didn’t think to see you.”
“The Baron thought someone should bring your horse back,” the older man replied as Griffin secured his satchel to the back of the saddle. “He said to tell you he regretted his angry words and that he’ll take the stallion and the rest of your things to Berwyn when they go home.”
Relieved, Griffin nodded and put his foot in the stirrup. Swinging up, he settled himself and glanced over his shoulder at the castle.
“Ready, sir?”
Exhaling, Griffin turned and signaled his horse forward. “Ready.”
Chapter Sixteen York
Unwilling to wait for the rain to stop, Celeste changed into her riding clothes after sending Stephen to have Vesper saddled. Her father had gone to meet with the other elders at the Gray manor. This was her chance to find Edward, beg him to explain things, to help her understand. Pulling on her long brown coat as she left her room, she hurried down the steps, ignoring Joan’s call. Stephen helped her mount.
“If’n you can wait, miss, I’ll go with you,” he told her.
“No, Stephen,” she shook her head, fingers tightening on the reins. No point in him getting in trouble if I do. “I won’t be long. I just need to get out of the manor for a bit.”
Before he could protest, she turned Vesper’s head and urged her out the gate. Despite the drizzle, the mare eagerly picked up her pace. As if sensing my need for Edward. Why was he that way? He was so arrogant, so sure I’d simply believe him and not have a loyalty to my father. That angered her, until she recalled the fragments of conversation she had overheard that summer. Could Richland have something to do with this? He mentioned seeing Northumberland and Westmoreland? And why would someone from the Wash come to the north? What grows here wouldn’t do well there. And it wasn’t to see the training. He was here only the night.
Now, a frisson of doubt crept into her mind. The idea that her father and uncle might indeed be involved in treason terrified her. Immediately she rejected it. Impossible. There’s simply no way they would do anything so horrible.
The guard at Talbor Manor didn’t challenge her but the expression on his face made her tremble. She knew that look. It was the look Edmund had on his face whenever he saw her. Or any woman. Thank heavens Father mentioned Edmund would be at the meeting as captain of the York company. I don’t need to worry about being nice to him.
“Edmund’s not here,” a voice from the left told her.
Turning her head in that direction, she saw Geoffrey. Godfrey’s grandson, she recalled with a start. A fire had burned the former captain’s home, killing his family, except the youngest. And the boy’s mind had been soft ever since. The anger in the eyes didn’t come from a boy soft in the head though. There was an intelligence that was quickly hidden as the boy dropped his head. When he lifted it again, the expression was the usual dullard one he posed with. Celeste frowned and guided Vesper closer.
“I’m not looking for Edmund,” she said quietly. “I wanted to speak with Edward.”
“Why?” he asked bluntly.
“Because, I—” she shook her head. “Where is he?”
“Why should I tell you?” the boy shrugged indifferently. “You don’t care nuffin’ for him.”
“That’s not true,” she told him urgently. “Please. Where is he? Can you tell him I’m here?”
“Maybe he don’t want to talk with you,” Geoffrey sneered, glaring at her. “Considerin’ you threw him over for the bastard.”
“I didn’t have a choice,” Celeste ground out. “Please. Where is he?”
“Not here,” he shrugged again.
Groaning in frustration, Celeste looked around and realized several men were watching them.
“Please, just tell him I was here. I’ll came back tomorrow to talk to him.”
“What about?” he wanted to know.
“That’s between Sir Edward and me,” she retorted, turning Vesper around. “Just give him the message.”
Putting her heel to Vesper, she left as quickly as she could, ignoring the coarse comments from Edmund’s men. Would I have to deal with them if I marry Edmund?
Her cloak whipped behind her but she couldn’t feel chilled as she galloped. She realized that she’d made a horrible mistake. Edward could help her fix it. Somehow. If nothing else, they could run away together. There had to be a way. Lords were always looking for good swordsmen and Edward was known for his abilities. If she needed to, she could join a household to help the lady run things. Or if the lord didn’t have a lady, she could manage the staff until the lord married.
But the next day when she rode through Talbor Manor’s gates, she didn’t see Edward. Instead, in the same place Godfrey had joined Geoffrey. The expression on the old man’s face was as mocking as the boy’s had been the day before.
“Sir Godfrey,” she greeted him in an even voice, her eyes scanning the faces in the courtyard.
“He’s not here,” the knight said bluntly.
“Please,” she whispered, pleading with her eyes. “I only want to talk to him.”
“You didn’t say enough last time you talked to him?” scoffed the old man.
“Why did the Elders replace you as captain?” she questioned.
“You don’t want to ask questions you can’t handle the answers to,” he warned, eyes narrowing as he gauged how near others were to them.
“Sir Godfrey, please,” Celeste urged him. “I know you know what Edward found out.”
“You know nothing,” he scowled.
“No, I don’t,” she agreed readily and quickly before anyone drew near enough to overhear. “Because he wouldn’t tell me. He expected me to believe him over my father with no proof. Then he threatened me. Perhaps I’ve nothing to discuss with him or you after all.”
“Miss,” Godfrey started as she turned Vesper.
“Good day to you, sir,” she said in a loud enough voice to convey her dismissive attitude. “And that to your disrespect.”
Urging the mare to a canter, Celeste thought she made it very clear to all witnesses that she had nothing to do with whatever Godfrey, Edward and Jasper had been doing. Reaching home, though, she turned Vesper over to the groom and hurried to her room. Leaning against the door, she closed her eyes.
It had been there. In the old knight’s eyes. The unease, the humiliation when she’d brought up being relieved of the company, and his surprise at her final words. But as she’d made to leave, had she imagined the approval in his gaze? Approval at her effort to make a public display of distance? Would he pass her words to Edward? Let Edward know she wanted to learn more? Had he understood at all?
All she could do was hope that Edward could somehow stop a marriage she suddenly dreaded and feared more than the loss of her soul. My heart is already lost. Along with the rest of me to Edward.
Somehow, she managed to maintain a calm manner, to act as if everything was normal. Even as she screamed inside, prayed with every heartbeat, for something to stop time. Anything to keep from being Edmund’s wife.
As the family broke their fast the next morning, her father announced he was going to Gray Manor and would be there all day.
“Is Edmund going to be there?” Joan asked in a lilting voice.
“He’s captain of the York men,” her father replied. “Of course he’ll be there.”
“Of course, Father, but now, what will Celeste do this afternoon?”
“What?” Thomas Black glanced from one daughter to the next. “What is this about
?”
“Celeste keeps riding over to Talbor Manor,” Joan told him, smirking at her sister as soon as their father’s head turned to the elder. “Why else would she be going if not to see Edmund?”
As her father’s eyes landed on her, Celeste tried not to glare at her younger sister.
“Is this true, Celeste? Why have you been going to Talbor Manor?”
“Hoping to speak to Edmund, of course,” she replied, dropping her gaze and hoping the blush on her cheeks was mistaken for maidenly eagerness. “I’ve really only spoken with him a few times and I thought as we were to be married, I’d like to know more about him. I just thought—” Giving a little laugh, she smiled at her father. “A woman does like to know the man himself. Or at least see him. Watch him as he trains and such.”
Her answer seemed to satisfy her father who smiled and patted her hand.
“You’ve all the time in the world once you’re wed, dearest. But I’ll tell him you were looking for him. Always makes a man feel good to know his bride looks forward to the marriage.” His gaze went to Joan. “Remember that, young Joan.” He sighed. “If I’m able to find a husband for you. Try to study and follow your sister’s example, dear. She’s making a good match and I want the same for you.”
“Of course, Father,” Joan whispered, a bit stunned at how her efforts to get her sister in trouble had been turned.
Rising, Thomas patted Celeste’s shoulder as he passed behind her to where Hubert waited with his cloak and cap.
“I best be off as well,” John decided, getting to his feet. “You must not have been very long at Talbor when you came by, Celly,” he commented. “I didn’t see you at all.”
“I had no reason to linger once told Edmund wasn’t there,” she replied, privately wishing her family to perdition.
“Of course,” he murmured. “Your brother being there wouldn’t be reason.”
“I can see you at home,” retorted Celeste.
Shrugging, John went to collect his things from Hubert and left as well.
“So?” Joan asked, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin on folded hands.
“So, what, Joan?” Celeste sighed.