How to Fly a Pig (Witch Like a Boss Book 1)

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How to Fly a Pig (Witch Like a Boss Book 1) Page 12

by Willow Mason


  Meredith ran up to the woman, snorting and pawing at the ground like a bull. Agatha skittered away from the pig, then made her way over to us, her face sending a silent plea to Effie.

  “Heel, girl,” the witch said, giggling as Meredith rolled over a few times then snuffled at the base of a tree. “At least you’re still obedient.”

  Agatha stared at Blair with a curious expression. “You’re looking very well. Don’t you usually use a chair?”

  “Oh, that’s it!” Effie snapped her fingers. “I knew there was something different about you. Tell me all about it. Did you use a witch doctor?” She snorted at the joke as she cornered Blair, forcing him into the seat beside her.

  “Do you mind me hanging around?” Agatha asked in a low voice. “Only, the other witches never talk to me. The perils of being human.”

  I felt a rush of pity and jerked my chin at the nearby bench. “Of course, not. Grab a seat.”

  “I’m a standard model human, too,” Patrick said to Agatha, bumping his shoulder against mine. “I’m a bit scared of what might happen if I’m left alone in the middle of a supernatural crowd.”

  “Second that,” Jared said with a shudder. “I haven’t even had my first pack meeting and now I’m surrounded by witches.”

  “And an occasional puppy,” Effie said with a wide grin. “Look over there? Isn’t he one of you lot?”

  A battle raged across Jared’s features between expressing gratitude at finding his own kind and anger at being dismissed as ‘you lot.’ Luckily, good sense prevailed, and he broke off to introduce himself to the other pack members.

 

  “Maybe I don’t want to be rid of him,” I muttered, earning myself a raised eyebrow from Patrick.

  We took our seats on the carved bench as the clearing filled with more witches than I’d ever imagined, let alone seen. The few Auckland meetings I’d attended had been lucky to scrape together a dozen witches of low power. This meeting blew that out of the water.

  Magic light and smoke flowed and glowed from the surrounding members. A surfeit of so much power it took my breath away—until I remembered that I too controlled a similar stock.

  “If everyone will take their seats, we’ll begin,” Genevieve said in a firm voice. It was the most commanding I’d ever heard her, and my feet obeyed before my mind fully processed the words.

  “This better be good,” Patrick shouted. “I’ve got a missing person to worry about, you know.”

  “Not missing.” Aunt Florentine appeared at my shoulder and pointed to the side of the main stage with a frown. “Isabella is right there.”

  “I’ve got an important announcement that may come as a shock to some of you,” Genevieve said in a clear, controlled voice. “A few days ago—”

  “Blair!”

  I turned towards the sharp cry. Blair Candlewood had collapsed off the bench and lay on the ground. As I watched, his body shrank, pulling into itself, becoming as dry as a dead leaf.

  “No, no, no!” I was at his side in a second, cupping the side of his face as it turned into paper. “What’s happening? What’s it doing to you?”

  Aunt Florentine clutched my shoulder and pulled me away. “Stand back. If the suckling has just left, it’ll be looking for its next victim.”

  I spun in a circle, my eyes searching the faces in the surrounding crowd, trying to find the suckling’s new target.

  “Meredith. Come back.”

  Effie’s shrill call cut through the chatter and I ran to her side in time to see the kunekune’s round rump jiggling away through the undergrowth.

  “She never runs away from me,” Effie said, disbelief and tears crowding into her voice. She gripped the front of my blouse in her left hand, pressing the right against the side of her head. “I can’t hear her.” She jerked her head to the side as though clearing water out of her ears. “Her voice has gone.”

  “Everyone, be alert.” I ran to Genevieve’s side and held my hands up, drawing the coven’s attention. “There’s a killer suckling in our midst and it’s infected Meredith. We need to work together to get her back here and stop the creature before it leaves another one of us for dead. Who’s with me?”

  The crowd, mostly full of strangers, stared at me with confusion. My mouth went dry as I tried to catch a friendly gaze.

  Then Jared stepped forward, Patrick and Annalisa at his side. “We’re with you.”

  A group behind them stepped closer, nodding their agreement. Soon, the entire clearing of witches, humans, familiars, and werewolves banded together as one.

  “Spread out and hurry. Anyone who can, send out a tracking spell.”

  I took my own words of advice and recited the same incantation that had pinpointed Blair Candlewood’s position earlier.

  A large plume of magic smoke formed into a gigantic lime-green arrow. Without a thought for my safety, I gave chase.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The tall ferns and low branches whipped across my face as I ran through the woods. The day had turned overcast as the coven meeting came together and the blanket of foliage obscured the available light. I didn’t need it. The beacon of the magic smoke drew me onward as my muscles ached from running and the air burned in my lungs.

  “Here,” a voice called out from my left-hand side, but I ignored it. The arrow pointed one way and I trusted it completely. My feet slipped in a patch of muddy earth, sending my face catapulting into the rough bark of a black birch tree. Blood trickled from my stinging nose and I wiped it roughly away with the back of my hand, increasing the damage.

 

  Digging deep, I poured the last of my energy into another burst of speed. My thighs twanged in protest but obeyed, propelling me forward until I saw the mottled skin of the kunekune shivering in front of me. Annalisa held it captive with one giant paw.

  “Meredith? Are you still in there? Can you hear me?”

  The questions poured forth, my words tripping over each other in my eagerness to understand. The poor pig just stared at me, her eyes wide and gleaming green in the smoke’s light.

 

  Out of here. Sure. But where?

  The other coven members were catching up, cursing and stumbling in the dim light. In a split second, the suckling could abandon the pig and enter any one of the approaching witches.

  In a flash of inspiration, I grabbed Meredith around the midriff, hugging her tightly to my heaving chest, despite her weight.

  Up!

  Magic light spilled from my legs as I streamed straight up into the air. The kunekune in my arms stopped fighting and went limp, her compact frame less resistant than mine to the G-forces.

  Up. Up. Up.

  I made the mistake of staring down and shrieked. The coven was so far below me they looked as tiny as ants, milling around and waving their limbs in the air in panic.

 

  The words in my brain were so forceful, I almost lost my grip on the pig, now glaring at me with the force of a thousand suns.

 

  Fair point. On the other hand…

  “You’ve just killed one of our coven members, leaving him as dry as a twig. Five days ago, you hurt another witch from our neighbouring coven. I’m not letting you go until you explain what’s going on.”

  The kunekune squirmed, fighting against my grip.

  “Careful, or I really will drop you.”

  The pig had been facing me, and now ventured a glance down, seemingly aware for the first time we were hurtling upwards through the air.

 

  The scream was so loud in my brain that all my other thoughts came to an abrupt halt.

 

  Louder still.

 

/>   The shriek cut out halfway through, the kunekune again going limp in my arms. I used my magic to relieve my protesting wrists and shoulders of her hundred-kilogram weight. My brain patterns settled back into their usual rhythm and I glanced around me, wondering how to stop.

  Below me, the individual members of the coven were now so far away they were impossible to distinguish. The air was thin in my lungs, and I felt the need to take a deep breath even as I was doing it.

  “Wakey, wakey.”

  I tapped the pig on its cheek and watched the long lashes flutter. Such a pretty pig. It must be nice to have such a cheerful familiar.

 

  Annalisa’s grumpy interjection made me smile. I sent down to her. My eyes watered and the view beneath me turned into a shimmering lake of kaleidoscopic patterns.

  The kunekune was stirring, her eyes beginning to crack open the same way a tired kitten would wake up from a nap. Her jaw widened in a yawn.

 

  “Not this again.” I shook the pig and forced her face level with mine. “Keep your eyes on me.”

  Meredith gulped and her eyes immediately flickered downwards until I gave her another shake.

  “Eyes. On. Me.”

 

  I adjusted my hands, my fingers aching from the forceful grip. It must have sent the wrong message to the pig because Meredith’s eyes opened wider in complete alarm.

  She gave another glance in the absolute worst direction.

  “I’m not landing until I feel confident you won’t harm another witch in our coven. Why did you just abandon Isabella? Why did you skedaddle out of Blair and leave him comatose?”

 

  “I’ll kill you in a minute if you don’t give me a straight answer.” I paused, wriggling my shoulders to ease the tension.

  A cloud floated past, leaving my shirt wet and clinging to my skin. Up here, the temperature was close to freezing. I’d need a nice warm bath after this was over.

  “How does a killer even know which body you’re in?”

 

  Painfully slow deduction? It didn’t sound like a great way for a killer to home in on their target. Perhaps a different tack would produce a better result.

  “Why does someone want to kill you?”

 

  “Who is it?”

 

  I rolled my eyes. “Care to narrow that down?”

 

  Annalisa sent a thought up to me.

  I raised my eyebrow and stared at Meredith. “One way or another.”

 

  “How else am I going to get you to talk? I gave you plenty of time to explain yourself in the car on the way here, and you chose to sleep instead.”

 

  Meredith sounded so much like my mother, back when I was a grumpy young teen, that I laughed.

 

  “You’ll die. I’ll be just fine.”

 

  “Meredith. You’re a kunekune pig named Meredith.”

 

  “Not if they’re dropped, they don’t.” I gave the animal a shake. “Now tell me what you mean? Can you restore Blair and Isabella to their normal state?”

 

  “Why didn’t you do that before?”

 

 

 

  She didn’t seem pleased at the thought.

 

  Meredith oinked and jabbed a trotter into my chest.

  “You and me both.” My head swam from the thin air.

  With cautious attempts, I gradually reversed the magic spell that had catapulted me upwards. Smoke swirled around me, obscuring my vision so that I couldn’t judge how well I’d done.

 

  The kunekune had stopped panting and I realised my lungs were breathing easier, too. My sneaker brushed against something and I gasped, sinking through the topmost branches of a huge pine. We were almost back to ground zero.

  Annalisa said. Through the thick needles, I could just make out the line of her shoulders.

  I landed with a thud, dropping Meredith the few remaining feet to the ground. “Sorry.”

  Her curly tail stood on end, flicking to the right in a gesture of annoyance.

  “Now we go home, and you sort those memories out, so Isabella and Blair are restored to their rightful state.”

 

  Aunt Florentine bumped my shoulder as she came to stand beside me—Jared, Patrick, and the supreme holding back a few metres. “I only caught some of your conversation, but believe me, we all want to stop whoever is attacking you.” She knelt in front of the pig, giving Meredith’s head a vigorous rub. “You mightn’t be able to identify the killer but give us access to your memories, and we probably can.”

 

  I stared at Blair Candlewood’s still body, lying on the bench where he’d collapsed after the suckling abruptly departed. The image of Isabella lying defenceless in the woods, her body a dry husk, popped into my mind.

  “We can only hope.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  I stared at the beetle in dismay, watching as its multitude of legs all swivelled in a different direction, making the hairs on the back of my neck want to run away. “I’m not sure this is a great idea.”

  “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat.” Aunt Florentine elbowed me in the side to get me to move away from the kitchen counter.

  Annalisa growled low in her throat.

  “Honestly, you had one of these hanging around your neck for the past decade. What harm do you think it’s going to do now?”

  I pressed a shaking hand to my twisting belly. “Don’t remind me.” My skin crawled just thinking about it. “How is this going to work, anyway? If it just eats magic, it’s not going to help.”

  “It eats anything you give it,” Genevieve said, pushing my aunt aside to stand in front of the writhing bug. “Magic. Smoke. Memories.”

  Meredith oinked and backed up a few steps.

  “Sure. We could do that.” I picked her up, my arms protesting the weight. “Do you want to go on another trip?”

 

  “Everyone stand still and zip it.” Aunt Florentine waggled her finger in each of our faces. “I understand gallows’ humour, but this is taking it all a step too far. We need to concentrate.”

  To my relief, she took Meredith out of my arms and hefted her onto the countertop, right in front of the beetle. “F
or those of you with weak stomachs, I suggest you look away now.”

  I followed her example, my eyes flicking to Patrick, who stood with an amazed expression on his face, then to Jared, who stared at the floor, turning green.

  Well, good. At least we still had some things in common.

  “Here we go.” Aunt Florentine snapped her fingers, and my eyes chanced a quick flick in her direction. The beetle now sat on its stomach, so swollen and fat its legs didn’t stand a chance of touching the bench. “Now for the picture show.”

  She poked the bug, and it opened its mouth, releasing a gentle haze of smoke that formed into an image. A beach. A boat. A seagull.

  I sighed. “Does it have anything but a few summer holiday snaps?”

  “Give it time.”

  The smoke formed, tore apart, and reformed into new images. A memory from the suckling showed Blair’s hands opening the boot of Isabella’s car with a magic spell and transporting her body into the back of his van. He guided her into the basement, safely tucking her away.

  “Well, thank goodness,” I muttered, relieved to know exactly how her body had disappeared. “I wasn’t super careless.”

  “Except for the bit where you parked a missing person’s car outside your house with their body inside. A vehicle their would-be killer probably knew by sight,” Jared added, taking away my momentary relief.

  Backtracking through time, a new image showed a faceless pursuer, chasing the suckling, inhabiting Isabella, into the woods. She burst out onto the road, flagging down a passing pedestrian. Even in the featureless jumble that was the suckling’s memory, I recognised the wheelchair.

  “This must be how the suckling met Blair.” I tugged at my bottom lip as the image altered from one person’s perception to another’s.

  A wheelchair ran roughshod over the forest floor, snagging on pinecones and dead branches until it was thrust aside, and Blair carried Isabella’s mummified body into the hiding place where Genevieve had discovered it.

  Farther back still, and a featureless blob I presumed was another witch stuffed leatherbound books into a large bag. The memory exploded into sound, full volume, yelling, accusations. The words were unclear, but the tone was full of hurt and recrimination.

 

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