by Kai Juniper
He sighs. "You're right. I'm just so desperate to keep you out of this."
"I'm already in it. And I'm not letting you go through this alone."
Jackson walks over to the window. "I wish we could get out of here. I'm sick of being stuck in this house. The cops refuse to let me back in mine so my dad had to go out and get me clothes."
"He did a good job," I say, noticing how hot he looks in jeans and a tight-fitting henley. "You look hot." I come up behind him, wrapping my arms around him.
He turns around, smiling. "From the way you said that it almost sounded like—"
"I want you?" I smile back. "Good, because that's what I was going for."
He scoops me up and takes me to his bedroom.
"You in a hurry?" I say with a laugh as he tugs my denim shorts off my hips. He slides them down my legs, along with my panties.
"Beautiful," he says, his dark eyes drinking me in.
I take off my shirt and bra. "How about now?"
"Even better." He drops to his knees and yanks me to the end of the bed, his large hands spreading me open. Propped up on my arms, I watch as he licks the inside of my thigh, teasing me with what's about to come next. When his tongue hits that spot, my head falls back and I moan as the feeling of what he's doing takes away all the thoughts and concerns that were occupying my brain.
"Yes," I whisper, grasping the sheets as he slips a finger inside me, then another, his tongue still working its magic. I breathe harder as the feeling builds, then cry out his name as it overtakes me. I reach for him.
"I'm right here," he says, his mouth on mine.
I smile over his lips. "I want more."
He slides inside me and I take a deep breath, savoring the feel of his body over mine. The weight of him sinking into me, the hardness of his muscles, the scent of his cologne. It takes me out of the hell I've been living in and brings me back to my safe place. The place that's become my home. Jackson.
We both want this to last so we slow it down with soft kisses, gentle touches, looking into each others eyes. After a while I can't wait any longer.
"I love you," Jackson says.
"I love you too." I smile. "You can finish now."
"Thank God," he says with a sigh of relief. He pulls back, then thrusts into me, and continues with long deep thrusts that have me going again, back to where I was before we slowed down. The feeling quickly builds as he speeds up. Then, suddenly, he lifts me up, flips onto his back, and sets me on top of him.
"Thought we'd try something new," he says with a smile.
"But I was almost done."
"So finish up." He grabs my hips, guiding me.
I take over, my hips circling.
"Fuck," he says, smiling as his eyes close. "Yeah, baby."
I keep going, faster, feeling him inside me as I move.
He lifts up and swipes his tongue over my nipple, then sucks it into his mouth. It sends me over the edge and I fall forward onto his chest, panting, my body trembling.
He flips me back on the bed, thrusting into me once, twice, and on the third time, he comes. I feel it. Warm. Filling me.
Shit. We didn't use a condom.
He rolls onto his back, breathing hard. "That was fucking amazing." He puts his arm out. "Come here."
I sit up. "We didn't use anything."
"What do you—" He looks down. "Shit. I wasn't even thinking." His eyes go to mine. "You're on the pill, right?"
"Yeah, but still. We should've talked about this before—"
"I know." He rubs his hand over his face. "Shit. I'm sorry."
"It's both of our faults. I didn't even think to ask. It all happened so fast."
He sits up, facing me. "I don't have anything. I swear."
"You always used protection, right? With HER?"
"Kristen?"
"Yeah," I say, not wanting to think about that but still wanting an answer.
He sighs. "Not always."
"What does that mean? Like once or twice or more than that?"
"More. She said condoms gave her a rash. We only used them the first few times. She was on the pill."
"And you haven't been tested? What if you have something?" I get out of bed and go in his bathroom to clean myself up.
"Rumor." He knocks on the door. "I'd know if I had something. I don't."
I open the door. "How would you know if you weren't tested? You weren't the only guy she was with."
He tips his head back. "Fuck, you're right. I wasn't even thinking about that." He looks at me. "I'll see a doctor and get tested."
"Okay, but if you have something, it's too late."
"What about you? Did you always use one? With Axl?"
"No. He refused." I sigh. "Guess I should get tested too."
"Rumor, I'm sorry. I wasn't even thinking."
"Just remember the condom next time, at least until we get the results."
We shower, then watch TV, my mind filled with yet another worry. An STD. From Kristen. I doubt Jackson has anything but given my luck, it's possible.
I fall asleep on the couch in Jackson's arms. When I wake up, it's morning and he's gone. I search the house for him.
"Jackson?" I call out, but he's not there.
I go to call him just as the front door opens. He comes in holding a pastry box and two coffee cups in a cardboard holder.
"Breakfast," he says, smiling.
"You should've told me." I go up to him, taking the coffee. "I thought you were gone."
"I WAS gone."
"I mean taken. Like the cops came and took you away."
I follow him to the kitchen and sit at the counter.
"You'd wake up if that happened." He sets the pastry box down. "I got a little of everything."
Opening the box, I see donuts, croissants, apple danish, and four cupcakes.
"Cupcakes for breakfast?" I say, taking one and giving him a kiss. "You know me so well."
He sits next to me and takes the lid off his coffee. "It's after six. You don't have much time before you have to leave for school."
"I don't think I'm going." I bite into my cupcake.
"You need to go. I don't want you falling behind because of me."
"I don't just mean today. I mean at all. I think I'm going to drop out. I'll just get my GED."
He takes the cupcake from me. "You're not doing that."
"Why? What's the big deal? A lot of people drop out."
"You're not going to be one of them. You're going to a top school, which will get you into a top college."
"I'm not going to college."
"You don't know that yet."
"Give me the cupcake," I say, reaching for it.
He holds it back. "Not until you promise me you'll finish high school."
"You want me to go back to a school where the principal turned us into the police? For something we didn't even do?"
"I'd rather have you go somewhere else but right now that's where you're going. You can't let that asshole scare you away from school."
"I'm not scared of him."
"Then prove it by going. Show up there and show him you're not afraid of him. He expects you to not show up. You really want to do what he wants you to?"
"No. I want to do the opposite."
"Then go to school. Act like nothing has changed. Don't act afraid. Don't back down. Just be your normal badass self."
I smile. "I AM a badass."
He hands me the cupcake. "Finish it up, then take the rest of it and go. I'll see you when you get home." He walks off.
"You're leaving?"
"I need to get ready. My dad's on his way back."
"Wait!" Grabbing my coffee and the box of pastries, I follow him out of the kitchen. "You gotta loff the doo."
He turns, laughing when he sees me. I stuffed what was left of my cupcake in my mouth and crumbs are falling everywhere. "I can't understand you with cupcake mouth."
"The loff!" I say, more crumbs falling out.
"The loft? I don't have a loft."
I take his hand and drag him to the door, then point at the lock. "Loff it when I leave."
He laughs. "Okay, I'll loff it." He kisses my cheek. "See ya, cupcake girl."
By the time I reach Brock's house, I've finished the cupcake and drank half the coffee. The door swings open and Maria comes out, holding a broom.
"Rumor. Why are you outside?"
"I was at Jackson's. He got pastries. Want one?" I hold the box out to her.
"No, thank you." Her brows draw together. "Why are you still with that boy? He's trouble. He killed a girl."
"Jackson didn't. Someone else did. I just need to find out who." I go past her into the house. Normally her comment would make me mad but today I'm in a surprisingly good mood, probably because I had a whole night with Jackson. I'm sure something will happen to spoil my mood, but for now I'm going to enjoy this feeling.
A half hour later, I'm fixing my hair when I hear banging on my door. I check the clock.
"Right on time," I say to myself. "I'm coming!" I yell at Trystan.
"Too late! I'm leaving!"
We play this game every day. It's become our thing. He bangs on my door, I tell him I'm coming, and he threatens to leave without me. So far he hasn't. I'm sure one of these days he will.
I meet up with him in the car, barely getting my door closed before he speeds off.
"One second later I would've been gone," he says, whipping around the corner.
"I had to make sure my hair was pretty," I say with sarcasm as I run my hand over my long dark strands. "I need to make a grand entrance after my performance yesterday."
"I can't believe you fucking did that," he says, holding back a smile. "Good thing you weren't home last night. Braden would've killed you."
"Is he still mad?"
"I think he's over it. His head is on Friday's game. He's afraid we might lose because Kade is out."
"Kade's not playing? What happened?"
"He was being an idiot at practice and tripped going down the bleachers. Busted his ankle. He's on crutches. This game was already going to be a tough win but now it's going to be even harder. It'll be up to Braden to win it."
Maybe they'll lose. I'd love it if they did.
"So what'd you think of what I did yesterday?" I ask.
"I think it was social suicide but as long as it doesn't affect me, I don't give a shit."
"Did it? Affect you?"
"Not at all. People thought you were joking. One guy asked me if you and Braden planned it."
"Why would we plan that?"
"I don't know. I'm just saying people didn't think it was real." He turns so fast it squeals the tires. "So you're living with a killer now?"
"Yeah. So are you."
He looks at me. "I'm talking about Jackson. I saw you going over there last night."
"Jackson didn't do it. He didn't kill Kristen. Or Andrea. But I'm not so sure about your brother."
I wait for him to slam on the brakes and yell at me, telling me how great and wonderful Braden is, like he always does, but he doesn't. He just keeps driving.
"You going to the gym after school?" I ask, changing the subject.
"The fucker held a gun on me. Can you believe that?"
"Who are you talking about?"
"Braden. You were there. You saw him do it."
"He wasn't going to pull the trigger. He was just trying to scare you."
"You really think that?"
I pause. "Honestly? I don't know."
"I didn't even do anything. He was pissed because he thought he couldn't play football. It had nothing to do with me."
"He has a bad temper. He lost control."
"And almost shot me." He blows out a breath. "I'm starting to think he—" He rubs his hand through his hair, his other hand jerking the steering wheel so hard we almost hit the curb.
"You're starting to think he what?"
"Nothing. Just forget it."
"You think he might've hurt Andrea." I purposely say hurt because I know if I say kill, he'll either shut down or defend Braden.
"Fuck," he says with a sigh. "Maybe. I didn't think he could do it, even if he was pissed at her, but then he puts a gun on me, his own brother, and...I don't know."
"Did you say anything to provoke him that night? To make him angry?"
"No. I was trying to calm him down. So was Dad. But neither of us could. It was too late."
"What do you mean it was too late?"
"He changed. I don't know how to describe it. I just knew something was wrong. It wasn't him. That wasn't my brother."
"Has he acted like that before?"
"Not that I can remember. I've never seen him like that."
"I have. Last Friday when he found out I was dating Jackson."
"What'd he do?"
"He turned off all the lights and waited for me in the dark. I heard him say I'm dead and then he got up and got really close to me, looking all crazy. There was enough light coming through the windows that I could see his face. It's like you described. He looked different. It scared me so I grabbed something off the bookshelf to throw at him if he came after me."
"And then what happened?"
"Your dad walked in. He stopped Braden before he could do anything."
"Why didn't you tell me this?"
"I thought your dad would've told you."
"He doesn't tell me that shit. He always protects Braden."
"So do you. That's why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd take Braden's side."
We're at school now and Trystan parks and takes off without even saying goodbye. I get out of the car and follow a group of cheerleaders to the door. As I'm about to go in, someone grabs my arm, yanking me back.
"What the hell?" I look back and see Peyton.
She smiles. "Hey, bestie."
Chapter Fifteen
I stare at her. "Are you on meds?"
She laughs. "You're hilarious. Let's chat." She motions me to follow her.
"I'm not talking to you." I turn to go inside.
She races in front of me. "Don't be like that. Just hear me out."
I stand there, my arms crossed. "What do you want?"
"Sorry about yesterday. It's just that I have a reputation to protect. It's nothing personal."
"Actually it is. You can't say we're friends and then treat me like that." I go around her. "Just leave me alone."
When I'm in the building I go straight to my locker, not even looking at anyone I pass in the hall. I don't want to see their sneers or watch them whispering to each other. I hate them. Each and every one of them, except maybe Alyssa. She was being nice yesterday, although it could've been an act.
Walking to class, I hold my head high, shoulders back. I'm going to pretend I own this school. And if anyone gives me shit, I'll give it right back.
Nobody seems to notice me when I walk in the classroom. I was expecting to be stared at but instead they're all looking at their phones or talking. Maybe they're afraid of me after seeing that story on the news saying I'm an accomplice to a murder.
Lit class is boring, as usual, and when the instructor calls on me, I don't even try to guess the answer. I just tell him I don't know.
My next class is just as boring and I'm tempted to skip the rest of the day. But Jackson is right. Leaving school is letting them win. It's what they want. I can't do that. I can't let them win.
At lunch, I grab a tray and go through the line. I notice an empty seat at a table way in the back where the same three girls always sit and read while wearing headphones. They won't bother me. They won't even notice I'm there.
As I'm walking to the table, I stop and decide to do something else. I turn and look at Braden's table. My spot is still open. I stride over there, drop my tray on the table and take a seat. Grabbing a fork, I dig into my taco salad, today's entree.
The guys are all there, plus Alyssa. Kristen's chair is empty with Kade's crutches resting against
it. The guys were talking when I walked over but quieted down when I took my seat.
"Rumor!" Braden barks.
I ignore him and flip through my phone.
"Rumor, get the fuck out of here!"
I look up at Dante across from me. "How's it going?"
"Okay," he says, glancing at Braden.
"How about you, Kade?" I take a bite of my salad. "How's the ankle?”
"Um, better."
"It's not better," Braden says. "It's fucked up. You can't even play."
I look at Kade. "Sympathy isn't his thing."
Alyssa laughs, then covers her mouth.
"What the fuck you laughing at?" Braden says to her.
"I wasn't laughing," she says. "I was coughing." She coughs to prove her point.
"If you're sick, get the fuck away from me," Braden says. "I have a game coming up. I can't be sick."
"Seen any good movies?" I ask Dante, smiling at him.
He smiles back. He loves my smile. He's told me that more than once.
"Saw one last week," he says.
"Stevens!" Braden yells. "What the fuck did I tell you?"
"She asked me a question," he says.
"Fucking ignore her."
"What movie was it?" I ask Dante, keeping the smile going.
"A comedy. Can't think of the title."
"It was that one with the frat house," Miles says to me.
"Yeah, I know what you're talking about."
"I saw it too," Kade says. "It wasn't bad."
Braden stands up. "What the fuck?"
The guys eat their lunches, none of them looking at Braden.
"I said we're not talking to her," Braden says. "How much fucking clearer do I have to be?"
"I went to this new barbecue place," Dante says.
"Really?" I smile even wider. "How was it?"
"Go fuck yourselves," Braden says as he storms off.
"He's stressed about the game," Kade says. "Been a pain in the ass at practice. Even worse than usual. Nobody wants to be around him."
It must be bad. This is the first time I've heard the guys say anything negative about Braden.
Miles laughs. "I can't believe you sat here. You're a badass, Halliway."
"Thanks," I say, glancing at Alyssa. She's holding back a smile.
"Did you see his reaction when she sat down?" Kade says to the guys, laughing. "I thought fucking steam was gonna start coming out of his head. His face got all red. Funny as hell."