by Elsa Aarden
Gun nodded. “Rowan is our leader. The pack calls him Alpha for that reason. He’s more powerful than any of us, so it’s common for Alphas to have more than one mate,” he said. “But he’s your mate. When mates meet, it’s the same with humans, but much more intense. There’s just a connection there that we can’t fully explain. Our instincts lead us.”
“I want to know more. Can you show me more?” Cecil asked as Gun’s hand returned to normal. Gun looked toward the door. Cecil followed his line of sight and saw Rowan standing at the entrance. “Gun just told me about the pack and the wolves. I want to learn more.”
Rowan’s only reaction was anger. He glared at Gun.
“See? He’s not afraid,” Gun said to Rowan. “He didn’t become part of today’s society, so he doesn’t know what’s new and what’s not.”
Cecil regarded Rowan. “I’m going to sleep now, then. Gun taught me a lot about words today.”
Gun stood and made his way out. “I’ll teach you more tomorrow. Good night.”
Rowan closed the door behind Gun. He approached the bed. “Did he show you anything?”
“His hand turned into a really big paw. It looked soft,” Cecil answered and got in bed. Exhaustion took over tenfold. He was glad he knew more about Rowan and his pack. There would be more time later to learn. “Did something happen? You look angry.”
“I intended to tell you first,” Rowan said as he went to the closet. He opened it and picked out something to wear to bed. “You’re all right with it, so I’ll leave it be. I’m going to take a quick shower, and I’ll be right back.”
Cecil watched as Rowan walked into the bathroom. Rowan left his change of clothes on a small chair and stepped out of sight. In his tiredness, Cecil closed his eyes and fell asleep within seconds.
* * * *
Cecil woke up to strange sounds. Loud thuds reverberated in the house. Cecil sat up, scratching the back of his head. “What’s all that noise?”
Rowan grumbled and sat up as well. “It was good while it lasted. This is how the house sounds every day, especially in the mornings. Gun must have told everyone that you know about us. The younger wolves decompress after a long while in their human form.”
Those sounds were from wolves? Cecil jumped out of bed and went to the door. When he swung it open, he saw Gun walking by toward the left. To the right, two large animals, one with black fur and one with white, ran across the hallway. “Aren’t they too big?”
“I’m larger than them,” Rowan said. “Overall, our size is different from common wolves. Our main problem is our clothes. They rip when we change.”
Cecil stared as one of the wolves spotted him. It came running toward him. Cecil hid behind Rowan, gripping his shirt. “Who is this? I can’t look.”
“It’s Landen,” Rowan answered. “Don’t worry. I’m here with you.”
Landen turned back into a human, naked. “Alpha, I’m feeling much better after turning. I want to apologize to you and Cecil for what I did. It was out of line.”
“It’s in the past now,” Rowan said. “Make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Landen nodded and ran off, turning into a large wolf again.
Cecil moved from behind Rowan. He felt his cheeks heating up from seeing Landen without any clothes on. Naked people would often appear in the horror movies he used to watch, but not this casually. He didn’t stand around when Rowan walked back into his bedroom. “Does that mean you can also turn into one of them? Gun told me you can.”
“Not right now,” Rowan said. “I need to take a shower first. You also have to take one. Just one shower after you came to this house isn’t enough.”
His father came to mind again. Cecil looked out the window. A tight knot formed in his stomach, chest, and throat. He jolted when Rowan sat next to him with a thud. Rowan put his large hand on Cecil’s lower back. “Yes?”
Rowan sighed. “Cecil, your father is never coming to you again. I made sure of that,” he said. “I don’t want you to live in fear anymore.”
Cecil glanced into Rowan’s black eyes before turning his head down. He only noticed now that Rowan’s eyes had a hint of gray. “Nothing bad ever happens to him. I can’t stop thinking that he’s coming. I can’t help it.” Rowan had broken his trust before. Now that remained in the back of his mind. He couldn’t bring himself to trust entirely what Rowan said.
“Only time will tell, then. I’ll keep trying to convince you,” Rowan said. He rested his hand on Cecil’s shoulder. “Besides that, I saw you blushing when Landen was naked.”
Rowan had noticed? “I only saw something like that in movies. They usually don’t show everything. Should I not mind it?” Cecil asked.
“I don’t know for sure.” Rowan moved his hand away. “For us wolves, it’s common to see each other naked. Since it’s not common to you, I feel that you shouldn’t look at them. You didn’t blush when you undressed in front of me the first time.”
Cecil shook his head. “I was embarrassed, but you told me it was time to sleep.”
Rowan stared at him. “Cecil, if you’re not comfortable with doing something like that, you don’t have to. No matter what anyone tells you, you can choose to refuse. We’re not your father. We respect your privacy.”
“Privacy?” Cecil asked, and Rowan nodded. How come people he had known for less time than his father were this nice? Relief washed over him again. “Thank you.” Rowan caressed his cheek. It was warm. Cecil offered him a weak smile. He didn’t know how to welcome the affection. Cecil went still as Rowan leaned closer. Did he want to tell him something?
One inch away from Cecil’s lips, Rowan came to a stop. “I thought you would move away from me.”
Cecil looked into Rowan’s eyes. “Why? Do you want me to?”
Rowan pulled away, removing his hand from Cecil’s cheek. “It’s the opposite. You have no idea what goes through my mind. You’re my mate. If only your father had bothered to give you a normal upbringing…”
“I just don’t understand a few things. I will if you explain,” Cecil said in a quiet tone. “You helped me, and I don’t want to bother you. That’s what I’ve been doing ever since I got here. I’m trying my best to learn.”
“This is different, Cecil,” Rowan said. “You can’t give me what I need from you. I can’t pressure you into this, either. You’re not a wolf like us, to top it all off. Something keeps telling me they were right. You’re fragile and a human. I should be looking for someone else, another mate.”
Cecil gazed at Rowan. It seemed that Rowan was talking more to himself than anything else. Was Rowan this sad about it? He didn’t like seeing Rowan like this. “But I’m trying to understand.”
Rowan stood and went to the window. He looked outside. “It’s not a bad thing that you’re so innocent. I don’t blame you. As much as I don’t like to say something like this, the problem really is me. I’m selfish. I know it would take too long for you to understand, and I don’t want to wait.”
“Wait for what?” Cecil gripped his shirt. He didn’t want to hear Rowan talking with such sadness in his tone anymore. His expression was composed, but not his voice. Had he done something wrong to Rowan? He swallowed hard when Rowan looked at him.
“For all of you, Cecil,” Rowan answered. “You’re my mate, and I can’t mark you or mate you. There’s no point if you don’t understand how much…I need you. I can’t believe I’m saying these things. It must be my instincts kicking in.”
Cecil leaned back slightly when Rowan came back to sit next to him. He wanted to learn what Rowan wanted, but it seemed that he didn’t want to wait. What if Rowan went out to look for another mate to replace him, another important person? Cecil slumped over. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say.
Chapter Seven
Rowan put his hand over Cecil’s, drawing his attention. “Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I should have gotten this through my thick skull by now. What you need is not a wolf and mate like me—it’s someone w
ho can help you recover. You went through a lot, and I’m here focused on something else.”
“There’s no need. I’m better now,” Cecil said. He pulled up his sleeve and brushed his hand against a few fading bruises on his arm. “See? They don’t hurt anymore. Please, tell me what you need from me. I promise I won’t behave like I accept everything you tell me to do. I can try my best to think for myself. It’s asking a lot, but I don’t want you to…look for another mate.”
“It’s all of you, Cecil,” Rowan said. He stood again, as if keeping his distance. “I desire to kiss you, hold you close to me, and make you happy in a loving way. Mating could be left for later—that’s not my priority. The wolf in me is in desperate need of your affection and romantic feelings. Wolves like me become fluff balls when it comes to mates.”
Rowan needed his affection? Cecil’s eyes widened. His heart skipped several times. Was this how it felt to have someone need him? Cecil reached over and put his hand on Rowan’s strong forearm. His heart sank when Rowan moved away. “I’m not doing this because you told me,” he said quietly. Why did it hurt him that Rowan rejected him? No one was hitting him.
A knock on the door drew their attention. “Alpha, it’s Gun. Breakfast is ready.”
“We’ll be right out,” Rowan replied. He made his way to the bathroom.
“Rowan,” Cecil called out with hesitation. He continued when Rowan came to a stop. “My chest hurts.” Before he could react, Rowan was standing in front of him, pressing his hand lightly against his chest. He wore an expressing of worry and anger at the same time. “It’s not that kind of hurt, and it’s not your fault. I don’t want you to…stop caring about me. You may think I don’t understand everything, but I know a lot of what you mean.”
Rowan gazed at Cecil. “What do you know?”
Cecil turned his head down. “I used to do something I shouldn’t have. Father will hit me if he finds out,” he said. “I watched a few horror movies on television. Whenever he wasn’t around to see what I was watching, I changed the channel. I know it’s a bad thing, but I was so curious. Sorry for not telling you before. You must be angry.”
“I’m not. On the contrary, I’m glad you did that behind your father’s back,” Rowan said. “What kind of things did you watch?”
“There were movies with happy families or a channel just for animals. That’s how I know what wolves are,” Cecil answered. “I didn’t go too far, or Father would find out. I couldn’t watch for long, though. He never caught me, but I know I’m a horrible person for doing something like that without him knowing.”
Rowan got on one knee on the floor and rested his hands on Cecil’s hips. “Tell me, what you mentioned before about the happy ending couple, did you mean the happy family movies? Something like that doesn’t often happen in horror movies.”
Cecil nodded in embarrassment. “Sorry,” he said under his breath. Rowan didn’t say a word. Cecil regarded Rowan, who was gazing in silence, and stared at him. “Can I…?” He looked away. “Can I hug you?”
“If you feel like it,” Rowan said, showing a glimpse of a smile.
With hesitation, Cecil moved his arms around Rowan. Because Rowan’s build was stronger, he wrapped his arms around Rowan’s neck. He leaned closer until they barely touched. Rowan smelled even better.
“You can hug me tighter. Don’t worry.”
Cecil shuddered at the feeling of Rowan’s breath against him, as well as his deep voice close to his ear. It soothed him. Cecil closed his arms around Rowan, resting his head sideways. “This feels good,” he murmured. Cecil shrank when Rowan embraced him in return. He only realized now that his thighs flanked Rowan’s waist.
Rowan breathed in and pulled Cecil closer onto him. “I agree,” he said calmly. His strong chest pressed against Cecil.
The hard surface that was Rowan’s chest still had some softness to it. Cecil was on a cloud. Hugging seemed so easy, but he’d been offered so little of it for most of his life. “I forgot to ask. Do you enjoy the hug? I don’t want to bother you.”
“I do, and you’re not bothering me. You can do whatever you want, all right?” Rowan pulled away and gazed into Cecil’s eyes. “You’re a small human, and you’re turning my life around. Even if it takes a while longer for you to understand, we’ll take our time. No matter how much I want to stay away so both of us don’t end up hurt, you always find a way to bring me in. There’s no need for another mate. You’re perfect.”
Cecil gaped at Rowan. Was this one of Rowan’s affectionate moments Gun had told him about? Was this Rowan’s instinct? He didn’t know how to feel about it. His chest hurt, but in a good way this time around. Rowan had just called him perfect. Did he forget about his scars and healing bruises?
Rowan rested his hand on Cecil’s cheek. He brushed his thumb over the corner of Cecil’s lips. “You have no idea how far these are from a warm hug. We still have a long way to go.”
Kissing wasn’t something from another world. Many people kissed in movies. Cecil looked away. He couldn’t fully understand romantic feelings, but did it count if he also felt like kissing Rowan? Would that be exaggerating with his affection?
Cecil switched his attention to Rowan’s lips. Without much thought, he moved his lips and pressed them against Rowan’s for a split second. His jaw fell open when he took a second to think of what he had done. He couldn’t read Rowan’s blank expression. Instead of waiting around to ask, Cecil jumped away and made his way out of the room. “I’ll be right back,” he said almost in a whisper before closing the door.
What had he done? How could he be so stupid? Cecil ran into Gun and sighed in relief. “Gun, I made a mistake. Please help me,” he said as quietly as he could.
Gun raised a brow. “What do you mean? You should be more worried about breakfast. It’s getting cold.”
“I‒I kissed him. Rowan,” Cecil said. “What should I do? He might be angry, and I don’t know. I didn’t ask him if I could. I just did it.” His heart pounded so hard it reverberated to his ears.
“Were you having a moment?” Gun asked. “I mean, if you two were close and such.”
Cecil nodded. “We were hugging. I asked him if I could, and he said yes, but he didn’t say yes about anything else. I’m not sure if him saying that I could do whatever I want counts. It’s not that specific.”
Gun let out a laugh, taking Cecil by surprise. “Little human, you’re his mate. That means he wants you to do that. Rowan also wants to kiss you, but he doesn’t want to rush you. As your mate, he cares about you. That’s how mating works.”
Now he didn’t know how to face Rowan. Cecil glanced over his shoulder. “What should I do?”
“I’ll go talk to him. You can go ahead to the backyard,” Gun said. “We’re all having breakfast outside. It’s a nice day today.”
Before Cecil could refuse to go outside to join the others, Gun walked past him. He didn’t know who else to talk to. There was no one in the pack he felt comfortable talking with. Cecil looked around. More important than that, he couldn’t find his way around the house. All along, he’d been with Rowan or guided by others. He remembered that the kitchen had a door to the side of the house.
Cecil got to the kitchen and walked across the room. There were a few trays with snacks on the table and the countertop. He peered outside and saw all of them gathered, seated at a long wooden table. With hesitation, he turned the door handle. He froze when they all looked at him.
“Come and join us,” Stella said, motioning him toward them. “Don’t worry about your bed hair. You can get ready later.”
“Ready?” Cecil asked as he stepped outside. “I don’t have any shoes on. Is it okay?” He spoke as quietly as he could. Having the attention of nine people became more uncomfortable by the minute.
Stella stood. “Of course,” she said. “A few of us are going to get groceries for the house. You could come with us.”
Did she mean food? Cecil tilted his head. Why would they need him
to pick anything?
“Come on. You must be hungry.” Stella moved Landen to the side. “Sit next to me, Cecil. I’ll keep you safe from the big, bad wolves.”
Cecil stared as she chuckled. He quickly relaxed when the others didn’t mind. It was a surprise that they didn’t get upset. He’d never have the courage to make fun of his father like that. With a quick breath, he shook it off and made his way to the table. He sat next to Stella on the long wooden bench. “Uh…I can’t go too far from the house. Father is still out there.”
Stella gazed at him. “Don’t worry. If it makes you feel any better, four of us are going out. There’s no way your father can ever touch you again. We’re wolves, remember? Your father was human.”
“If you don’t mind, I would like to think about it first,” Cecil said, and she nodded with a big smile. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go, but anything could happen out there. Being in the backyard was bad enough. He looked behind him at the tall trees and bushes. Birds chirped from up in the trees. It was a nice breeze. But could he go farther?
After breakfast, not having said a word, Cecil straightened his back. He was full and satisfied. It surprised him that they didn’t control how much he could eat. Now he could go for hours without eating anything. This was amazing.
“So, Cecil, what do you think of the pack?” one of them asked. “I’m Arthur, by the way. We haven’t introduced ourselves yet.”
Cecil regarded the man with some beard and short black hair. His eyes were hazel and slanted. He looked like someone out of a big movie. Cecil shook away the thought. “I’m still trying to get used to it,” he said quietly. They were listening with all their attention. What if he said something he shouldn’t again?
“What Landen did is a big exception to the rule,” Arthur continued. “We’re not unpredictable like that. At least not often.”
“It’s okay,” Cecil replied. Couldn’t they talk about something else? The attention they gave him made him want to hide.