Being the Suun

Home > Other > Being the Suun > Page 9
Being the Suun Page 9

by J. A. Culican


  Xalph was there, but so was his father.

  Haklang and Xalph stood a few yards from the doorway, Xalph wide-eyed and anxious while his father was grim-faced and stern.

  Arun pushed me out of the way as he shoved himself through the doorway, but he also froze when he saw Haklang.

  “I can—”

  Haklang held up a hand. His other hand was gripping his son’s shoulder so hard that his fingertips were white. Xalph didn’t seem to notice. “I won’t say anything. I won’t even stop you, but on one condition.”

  Why wasn’t I surprised? I’d found myself entering into so many bargains lately that I was going to lose track. I was relieved, though, glad that we had something to bargain with and that he wasn’t just going to turn us over to Luthair. If he did, Erik would never see the light of day again.

  “What’s that?” Arun asked.

  “You take Xalph with you when you leave.”

  “When we leave?” I pretended not to know what he meant.

  He slipped into Ahvoli. “Do you think I don’t know what’s on the other side of that wall? What lies deep in the mountain? Or why you are here, even?”

  I didn’t know why I bothered to keep anything a secret when everyone seemed to know what was going on. “Then why did you let this happen?”

  Arun was watching us blankly.

  “Because you might be Xalph’s only chance to get out of the mine,” he said in Iynian so that Arun would understand. “Years ago, when I first arrived in Bruhier, I fell in love with Albree Luthair.”

  I knew the name but just in passing. Albree Luthair was Stephan’s older sister and Aysche’s mother. As I understood it, she’d died giving birth to a baby boy, Aysche’s younger brother, and the baby had died also.

  I studied Xalph’s face and realized that maybe not all of that story was true. Albree had had an affair with Haklang, and the child had killed her. His punishment? Life in the mines, for both the father and the illegitimate child. Suddenly, Xalph’s life in the dark, while certainly not justified, made sense, especially knowing Luthair.

  Haklang nodded, seeming to know that I understood. “As long as he lives here, he will live under the shadow of the Luthair family. I don’t care about me, but I want better for my son. Our son.” He looked down at Xalph, who hadn’t looked away from Arun and me, and I knew he was trying to figure out how angry we would be with him. “Even if it means facing Luthair’s wrath. I have been too afraid for too long.”

  I didn’t want to take Xalph. I didn’t want to saddle myself with another debt, another responsibility. Especially a child who was crippled and half-blind. But the last thing he said, about being afraid, tugged at something inside of me. I’d also been afraid, and Erik and Estrid. Afraid of losing, afraid of leaving. I saw my future in Haklang’s face if I didn’t leave.

  I couldn’t pledge myself to Luthair and then beg someone, decades later, to take my children away from here, to give them the life I hadn’t been able to. Haklang had chosen this life, but Xalph hadn’t. “Fine. We’ll take him if we go.”

  “When we go,” Arun corrected me, though he still couldn’t look me in the eye.

  Haklang helped us to fill the last cart and hide the hole we’d made in the wall behind a stack of broken-down carts and discarded tools. Then he escorted us back to the depot where we ate cold slop in silence before he deposited us in our sleeping quarters.

  Sequestered in my little corner, I used a wash basin filled with cold water to clean myself the best I could while trying not to make any noise that would wake the sleeping men, although some of their snoring was loud enough to wake the dead. I unwrapped my hand, draping the makeshift bandage on the edge of the wash basin, and dabbed at the gash there. It was still open and bleeding. I would probably need stitches, though I hated to think about how it might affect my ability to hold an ax. I also rolled my pants to the knee and washed the dirt from my legs and arms, longing all the while for the private room in the hot springs.

  I’d just stripped down to my linen undershirt when I saw a dark figure moving through the room, headed toward me.

  “Good,” Arun whispered. “You’re still awake.” He was in his undershirt and wearing clean britches, his feet bare and his hair loose and damp. When it was down like that, it covered his ears and made it easy to forget that he wasn’t human, though the sharp beauty of his face did lend itself to his elven heritage.

  I expected him to want to talk about what we’d found and what had happened today, but instead, I saw him reach over to Bertol and shake the old man awake, then several others, all before I could stop him.

  Before I knew it, the entirety of Group A was gathered around my bunk in their nightclothes, eyes half-closed with sleep.

  “Frida and I found something tonight,” Arun said in a low voice. “A tunnel. A way out.”

  “A way out?” Bertol perked up.

  Arun put a hand on Bertol’s shoulder. “A way out for all of us. As many as want to go.”

  I bit my tongue to stop myself from interjecting. What was he talking about? We were already saddled with Xalph, and now he was offering to get everyone else out too? Bertol, with his bad heart. Owin, with his one good hand. While they talked in low, excited whispers about the tunnel we’d found, all I could think about was how we were doomed. He was an idiot, and we were doomed.

  “I can’t wait for you to see it,” Arun said. “It’s just full of yooperlite.”

  “Yooperlite.” Bertol smiled around at the others. “I’ve only ever heard of it.”

  “Arun,” I interrupted, tugging on his sleeve. “Can I have a word?” I couldn’t keep quiet, couldn’t bite my tongue, not if I wanted to succeed.

  He nodded, and we took a couple steps away, stopping in front of an empty cot nearby. He leaned over so that his ear was close to my ear, and I hated how his nearness made my heart race.

  I felt like I was sliding down a tunnel again, not sure what was waiting for me at the end. I cleared my throat with the hopes that it would also clear my head. “This wasn’t the bargain I made with Tsarra,” I said finally.

  He drew back a little and looked at me, eyebrows knit together, drawing three lines in the middle of his brow.

  “I promised to get you out, and in exchange, you would get me and my siblings out of Barepost.”

  “That’s still the plan,” Arun confirmed.

  “The more people involved, the less likely you are to succeed. I’m going to have to carry Xalph up the mountain as it is. How are you going to get Bertol up? And Owin? He can get by with one hand in the sorting line, but not climbing a cliff face.”

  Arun, who had been so warm and excited, closed himself off, pulling away from me. “I won’t leave them here. Do you know why Bertol is here?”

  “That’s not—”

  “Because he stood up to a guard who was beating a little boy. Does he deserve to be down here with murderers and thieves? And Owin? He lost his hand in the same mining accident that crippled Xalph. If he hadn’t been there, the boy would have been crushed to death. Do you just want to leave them here to serve a life sentence?”

  I sighed. “We can’t always do the right thing. Sometimes we just have to do the best thing. The best thing for us.”

  He lifted his head indignantly, looking like the gentry elf he was. “Someone has to make things right, and I’m not afraid for it to be me.”

  I shook my head. There was no arguing with him. I now knew what Tsarra meant, then, about him dying for a cause, how it hadn’t been a figure of speech but an actual description of his character. He would fight for what was morally right, no matter the cost—to himself or to others. It was a noble idea, but in practice, putting yourself out there to die for any cause—be it to free a dragon, to help an elven family, or to rescue an entire group of prisoners—seemed foolish. Was foolish. Every now and then, people had to look out for themselves, to survive. People like me and Erik and Estrid who needed off of this island.

  This wasn’
t the way to do it. This was the way to get us all captured or killed. And if Luthair discovered my hand in the plot, Erik would be in the mines for the rest of his life.

  I left Arun to make his plans, lying down in my cot and turning my back to the group while I tried to decide what to do. Because I had something else to bargain with now. Information.

  Maybe I wouldn’t have to trade my hand in marriage for my siblings’ freedom. Maybe I could buy all our freedom with information about the cave system and Arun’s planned escape. I just had to find a way to get the information to Luthair before Arun did something we would all regret in the end.

  Chapter 14

  Fu Shen, the god of luck, was on my side when, at breakfast the next morning, a cart rumbled up to the depot. None other than Governor Luthair himself stepped out, brushing imaginary dust off of his deep-red cloak. At the other end of the table, Arun held court with Group A, discussing their plans for escape in hushed tones. Plans that I knew didn’t matter. They would never make it out. Xalph was hovering nearby, looking both excited but uncertain. The group fell silent as they noticed our visitor.

  It was Haklang who greeted him, just as he’d been the one to greet me. He crossed the room with long strides, cutting his eyes first at Arun, then at me, then stared resolutely ahead. “Governor. It’s been too long. What a nice surprise.”

  A surprise? So, the visit was unplanned. Had someone betrayed Arun already? Had a guard seen us? Or perhaps Haklang was going back on his word, striking some other bargain with Luthair.

  But when Luthair’s eyes found me in the crowd of diners, I knew that none of that was true. I knew that he had come for me. It was my last day, after all. If I was still here, then he knew that any escape attempt would happen today. It was as if he’d been drawn to the smell of my doubt, of my weakness. It made me sick.

  He and Haklang conferred briefly, and I could just imagine the conversation. Small talk about quotas and shipping costs and labor needs. The dining room was still quiet when Haklang returned and rang the dismissal bell.

  I stood and joined my group.

  Arun looked at me, then away, as if I no longer existed. Maybe to him, I didn’t. I wasn’t some lost cause or damsel in distress, after all. I could—and would—save myself.

  A hand clapped down on my shoulder. “You’re to stay,” Haklang said in quiet Ahvoli. “The governor wishes to speak to you. Please . . .” He trailed off, looking away from me.

  I followed his gaze to where Xalph was clearing plates from the dining tables and knew what he was asking me, knew what he couldn’t say. Knew what I couldn’t promise.

  Arun saw us, and though he didn’t understand, I thought he knew what was happening. He opened his mouth as if to speak. My heart stuttered, and I hated myself for it.

  My own words got stuck in my throat. I should have told him that I was sorry. I should have told him that we could have saved each other, that we still could.

  But neither of us spoke, both of us waiting on the other. Then he snapped his mouth shut and turned away, taking whatever sentiment or request or farewell into the mineshaft with him. I didn’t call after him even though I desperately wanted to know, desperately wanted to speak my own apology.

  The last of the miners disappeared down the tunnel after Arun. Even Haklang made himself scarce.

  I felt Luthair’s presence behind me, smelled the cloying floral scent of his perfume before I turned to face him. He stood close, his hands tucked in his cloak pockets, that small, self-assured smile on his face. He would have me believe he knew everything. I had to be careful about what I said or I would lose any bargaining power I had.

  “Please,” Luthair said, gesturing to the nearest chair as if we were in some grand dining hall. “Have a seat.”

  I obliged, only because I didn’t think taunting him would get me anywhere, not when I needed him to be at least mildly agreeable. He seemed pleased as he took the seat across from me.

  “Interesting to see how the mines have changed you in so few days,” he said.

  I scowled but bit my tongue. This was my chance to have him listen, to really try to free all of us—Erik, Estrid, and me—from his service. If I didn’t, if I couldn’t make him listen, if he wouldn’t strike a deal, if I didn’t betray Arun Phina, then what? Then it would be Erik in these mines, Estrid and I working for Luthair every day in the hopes of freeing him. Or it would be me, married to Stephan Luthair, sharing his home and his bed. It would be a lifetime squandered on this blasted island. One compromise of my honor, one elf sacrificed—it was worth it for our freedom.

  But a small, nagging part inside of me told me that Erik wouldn’t approve. A part of me that I tried to shove deep down inside.

  “When I was a boy,” he said, surprising me, “my father brought me across the sea from Center City to Bruhier in search of wealth. Do you know what he found?”

  I could guess.

  “A lawless country where monsters ruled, elves hid high on their plateaus, and humans fought each other for scraps of gold. I spent years in fear, never knowing if the next day would be the day that he or I would die.”

  I tried to imagine him as a young boy, as a child with a father and frivolous dreams and nightmares that kept him awake and failed.

  To me, Luthair had always been the governor, a cruel and ruthless man. Then I compared it to my own childhood, to the love and safety and support that my father and siblings had given me. We had not had much, but I had at least known that they would keep me safe, no matter what. Even here, where monsters roamed, I felt safe fighting beside Erik and Estrid.

  “When I was sixteen, my father was captured and sent to work the rest of his life in the mines. He wasn’t a criminal or a miner. Just a man who had the bad luck to run into a band of slavers when he was alone at night. What do you think I did? Do you think I ran into the mines to rescue him? To save one person? To likely get myself trapped there with him?”

  No, I didn’t think that Luthair would do that. Not this cold, calculating man sitting in front of me. But maybe I would. In fact, I knew I would. I would sacrifice my life for someone I loved without hesitation. Without a second thought.

  He didn’t wait for me to answer, wasn’t even looking at me as he spoke. He was somewhere else, someone else. “No. I left Barepost. I returned to Center City. I trained and worked and raised an army. And then, only when I was ready to make a real difference, did I return and march on Barepost. Years had gone by and my father was long dead, but did that mean it was all in vain? I learned from my father’s mistakes. In his memory, I took the lawless town and made it into a thriving community. You think I am a monster, but really, I am just a man, someone’s son and brother and, maybe someday, father, trying to make a difference in this world, doing the best that I can with what I have been given.”

  “What about the dragon?”

  He’d been drumming his fingers on the table and now stilled, focusing on my face. “The dragon?”

  “The dragon that you’d unlawfully sentenced to life in the mines. The one that Arun Phina came to free.”

  Luthair nodded. “That dragon and his friends destroyed one of my ships, the Flying Fox, when it was returning to Barepost with food and livestock. An entire crew, an entire ship, lost. Dozens of men, a shipment worth its weight in gold. All for sport. He was the only one we caught. I made the bargain with Arun because he offered and because the creature was horribly stupid. He would have blown us all up if he’d stayed. Arun did me a favor. And now, he’s one of the best I have.”

  “But he doesn’t belong here.”

  “No one does,” Luthair conceded with a shrug.

  Silence hung between us, thick and uncomfortable. I didn’t like this—seeing Luthair as a person rather than a monster.

  “So,” he said finally, “will you not be freeing him, then? Should I let you out early on good behavior?”

  I thought about Arun and Haklang and Bertol, and about what Luthair said, about making a difference. Abou
t not saving just his father but saving the whole town. I knew one thing for certain, though. I couldn’t save anyone from down here. “You win.” The words tasted bitter on my tongue. “Erik’s life is not mine to risk. I’m just here to serve out my sentence like a good citizen of Barepost.”

  Xalph was behind Luthair, wiping down a table.

  I met his eye, and even though I couldn’t say anything to him, I hoped that he would understand. That I wasn’t ratting on him or Arun or Haklang. I was going to help them, damn my bleeding heart. Arun was determined to do this, and maybe I could be the one to make a difference, the key to his success. And if it got me and my siblings off the island in the meantime, well, that would be an added bonus.

  My gaze dropped back to Luthair, who I was sure hadn’t even noticed Xalph behind him. Did he even know his own nephew by sight?

  “Excellent.” Luthair stood. “Wonderful news. As governor of this wonderful town, I hereby declare your time served. Let’s go.” He held a smooth hand out to me.

  I looked at it, then over at Xalph, and back to Luthair. “Now? Shouldn’t I finish out my quota?”

  “No need. I’ll leave a message for Haklang.”

  I ignored his outstretched hand and stood. “So I’m free to go? I’ll be home by tonight?” When I spoke, I raised my voice so Xalph would hear. I could only hope he was as smart as I thought he was. I needed him to tell Arun to delay their escape until tonight. To give me time to get up the mountain and find the opening from the other side.

  “Sooner, if you hurry.”

  We walked to the waiting cart, him pushing me with a hand at the small of my back. I boarded the cart first and glanced back at Xalph, who stood watching us in the center of the room, the rag all but forgotten in his hand.

  I widened my eyes at him, and it spurred him into action.

  He tossed the rag to the side and hurried down the mineshaft as quickly as he could with his awkward gait, not even glancing back to say goodbye.

  It didn’t matter, I told myself. I would see him soon anyway. On the other side.

 

‹ Prev