by K A Moll
***
With a long-debated beer in hand, Coby moved to a table near the dance floor. It was crowded with intertwined couples, swaying to a mix of fast and slow. This is not what you need to be doing, she told herself. She guzzled number two and ordered a third. If she didn’t watch it, she wouldn’t stop. Who knows, maybe she was already to that point. She chugged it down as her gaze fell to the pretty blonde in the corner. When the woman rested her head on her boyfriend’s shoulder, Coby’s thoughts hurled back to the bar. Dear God, she wanted. She wanted so much. She wanted, and she felt her need as if it were a gaping hole. She shook her head and guzzled. Why did she do this to herself? Coy Davidson was out of her league. God, was she ever something, though—smart, pretty, and sexy as hell. But you’ve got nothing she wants; she reminded herself, nothing at all. You’re not even normal. With that, her mind sucked her back years to a knock on her bedroom door. She fought against the memory with another smooth guzzle.
“You better be in there,” her stepdad had snarled.
“Go away,” Coby had yelled, “I want to be alone.” She had clenched her jaw, desperately trying to reel in tears, poised to fall.
“You unlock this door, young lady,” her mom had screeched at the top of her lungs.
“You don’t want what your stepdad’s gonna give you if he has to break it down.”
“Go away,” Coby had screamed back, “I hate you both!”
Bam! Bam! Bam! The wood had creaked and cringed as his hairy fist came through the panel. Never, not in a million years, did she expect the jerk would blast his way in. He’d turned the latch and came toward her.
Coby remembered crawling backward like a crab toward her headboard. “You better not hit me you son-of-a-bitch!” she’d warned.
“You got it coming,” her stepdad had shouted. “How dare you bring some little tramp into our home while we’re gone!”
“Her name’s Tameka,” Coby had snapped, “and she’s not a tramp.”
“She is in my book,” he’d shot back. Her mom had nodded permission before he struck his first blow. With that nod, came another and another. He hadn’t stopped pummeling until she lay battered in the corner, crying it off.
That day was the worst of her life, and not because of the beating. Oh, that was bad, but she’d managed to walk away with no broken bones or lasting scars, at least none that were visible. It was what happened before it that was life altering. That’s what resulted in her reoccurring flashbacks from hell. For years, Tameka’s wide eyes, her gaping mouth, and her hurtful words were an ever-present nightmare. To this day, that painful memory could burn behind her eyelids without warning. She sucked in a breath, pushed back from the table, and stumbled to the bar. “Bring me another,” she slurred as she tugged the bucket of peanuts toward her.
***
Coby awakened at four, having gotten less than two hours of restful slumber. Even drunk, it was difficult to sleep on a couch so short and hard. She made her way to the public restroom, took one look in the mirror, and determined that she had the appearance of death warmed over. She brushed wrinkles from her shirt the best she could, hoping no one would notice that she was wearing the same clothes. With a splash of water onto her face, she headed to the conference room. A safety presentation was required before they boarded the cargo aircraft that would transport them to Antarctica. Her stomach churned. She was out of her element. This was nothing, absolutely nothing, like anything she’d ever experienced before.
“Buenos días,” Diego called out. “We’re the first to arrive, huh?” He came across as a good guy, kind of sensitive and macho.
“Morning,” Coby responded. “Yeah, just you and me so far. You have any idea how many of us there are?”
“Probably a bunch,” Diego responded, “but I don’t know.” He nodded toward his cup and asked if she wanted one.
“No, thanks though,” Coby said as she swallowed down what felt like a cotton ball. “I drank too much last night, so nothing looks good right now.”
Diego meandered over to sit down beside her. “Sí mi amiga,” he said, “you do look a little green around the gills.”
***
Coy was happy that she’d thought to pack her heaviest jeans and hoodie in her smaller bag because the McMurdo high that day was predicted to hit an all-time low. There weren’t many, even during the summer, when the temperature got above freezing. As that thought chilled its way into her bones, she took a few extra minutes to pull on a pair of long underwear. They weren’t sexy, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she was trying to impress anyone. If someone noticed an extra bulge here or there, they just would. She checked out of her hotel, boarded the airport shuttle, and tipped the driver before going in. She checked in for her flight, was weighed along with her bags, and headed for the conference room for the required meeting. The room reminded her of the media center at her old clinic with its white walls, rectangular tables, and seventy-inch flat screen. As she stepped inside the doorway, she couldn’t help but think about the colleagues that she’d left behind. Ten years was a long time to practice with the same people. She glanced at her watch and wondered what they were doing. With an eighteen-hour time differential, the day had yet to dawn in their part of the world. Most likely, they were sleeping.
With a curl of her upper lip, she passed by a box of sweet treats. The granola crumbs at the bottom of her purse would be preferable to a fat-laden donut or danish. She poured a cup of coffee and resisted the temptation to add cream. As she took her first sip, she allowed her gaze to sweep the other attendees. With a couple of exceptions, most seemed to be sitting with those from their area or specialty—McMurdo with McMurdo; South Pole with South Pole; scientists with scientists; and support staff with those who would have similar duties. Her breath caught in her throat as her gaze fell on the woman about whom she’d been most recently fantasizing. She was wearing the same flannel shirt that she’d worn the day before, the one that Coy had unbuttoned in her dreams. As she walked off with her coffee, she realized that the seats in front of her new acquaintance were the only ones not taken. She exhaled, retracing her steps, having decided that she’d be better off back with the sweet rolls.
***
Diego licked each of his fingers with a loud smack. “Mmm, that was good,” he said. “I think I’ll go back for another. You want me to bring you one?”
“No,” Coby answered, “I need to stretch my legs. How ‘bout I bring one to you instead?”
“Sí por favor,” Diego said with a broad smile. “Cream cheese.”
“Cream cheese it is,” Coby said. “Be back in a minute.” She minded her feet as she made her way to the rear of the room. Looking into the eyes of the others reminded her that she was alone in a foreign world. As she reached into the box, she heard the melody of a familiar songbird.
“Well, if it isn’t Coby Lee O’Brien,” Coy chirped.
Coby choked on her saliva, looking up. “Hey there,” she said as she brushed down what wrinkles she could with both hands. “You’re the last person I ever expected to see here.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask why that is,” Coy said.
“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Coby continued with all seriousness. “It’s just that I wouldn’t expect a woman as smart as you to have to come way down here to find work,” she said.
“Why thank you,” Coy responded with a raised eyebrow. “But what makes you so sure that I’m not here on vacation?” she asked.
“Because if you were,” Coby responded, “I’m pretty sure you’d be on a fancy cruise ship instead of right here.” She considered asking Coy about her work assignment but opted not to.
“You’re too kind,” Coy responded with a gentle bite to her lower lip.
“Just being honest,” Coby said. Her gaze lingered high for a moment and then slipped downward to appreciate the fullness of Coy’s breasts and hips. She shifted from one foot to the other, blushing when she looked back up
. “Well, I’d better get this danish to Diego,” she blurted out.
“Yes, you should,” Coy said, flushed. She tucked her hair behind her ear, untucked it, and re-tucked it again. “It was all pleasure,” she added. “I mean it was a pleasure...seeing you again I mean.”
A slow smile spread across Coby’s face. “I knew what you meant,” she said. “It was good to see you too,” she added. “Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again.”
Chapter Four
The group viewed two informational videos before lining up for one last security screening. After that, they were loaded onto a couple of buses and shuttled out to where a C17 sat waiting.
Take off! Holy, crap! Coy thought. I’m actually doing this! Why it hit her with greater intensity at that moment was a mystery. She buckled in with her most recent issue of the Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology. When the airplane began its slow descent, she slid the journal into the side pocket of her carry-on and looked out the window. The view was spectacular, and she couldn’t help but utter a soft, “Wow!”
The young woman in the adjacent seat leaned over. “I know, right?” she blurted out. “There’s nothing better than looking down on mountains covered in a blanket of snow.”
“It is breathtaking,” Coy agreed. She met her gaze briefly and smiled.
It wasn’t long before the woman leaned in with a nudge to her shoulder. “And would you look at those glaciers,” she continued, “on their way to becoming ice shelves.”
“You don’t see that every day,” Coy commented with a brief nod. When the uninvited conversation continued, she shifted her position to meet the woman’s eye. “Coy Davidson,” she said with a smile.
“Nice to meet you,” Kiley responded with a firm handshake. “Kiley.” She was masculine in appearance, like Coby.
“Are you headed for McMurdo or the South Pole?” Coy asked.
“McMurdo,” Kiley answered. “It’s my first time.” She fingered through her tapered collar-length brown hair.
“Mine too,” Coy responded. She stole a quick glance to the opposite side of the aircraft, unsurprised when she caught Coby’s eye. Why in the world did she continue to check when she knew what she’d find? She nodded and broke eye contact.
“I’m a nurse,” Kiley announced.
“Physician assistant,” Coy responded. “Who knows, maybe we’ll be assigned to the same clinic.”
“We will,” Kiley said, “because there’s only one.”
“I don’t know why I said that,” Coy answered with a shake of her head. “I guess for a minute, I thought I was back home.”
“It’s a lot to get used to,” Kiley responded. “You’re probably just preoccupied.”
“Yeah, probably,” Coy admitted.
“I’m glad I met you today,” Kiley said.
Coy tilted her head and met her eye.
“I mean because now I know someone,” Kiley went on, “so in a way, it takes some pressure off of tomorrow.”
“Yes,” Coy answered,” it does.” She guessed her seatmate’s stint at McMurdo might be her first job. With that, her mind drifted to her own first day of practice. She chuckled to herself, remembering how she’d changed her outfit four times that morning; how she’d lifted her hair into a bun, how she’d been desperate to look older. She wanted her patients to believe in her, believe that she had the ability to assess and treat their illnesses with the same level of confidence that on that day she had in herself. Oh, how times had changed since that first day on the job. As the painful memory slipped in, she squeezed it off. Unfortunately, it was replaced by yet another, not as painful, but without a doubt, uncomfortable memory.
Fergie was to have driven Coy to work that day. They had their own vehicles, but Coy’s had been in the shop. She’d stepped out of their bedroom, dressed and smiling, to her wife’s note—Got tired of waiting. Take the bus. Had she not been running ahead of schedule that morning, she’d have been late for her first day on the job. Fergie had been loaded for bear when she got home that night. She didn’t ask about her day, but rather launched directly into a heated argument. Had she bothered to inquire, Coy would’ve told her that she’d just experienced the most fulfilling day of her life. It was the story of her marriage, with each of their interactions snipping away a tiny piece of who she was. While on the ice, she hoped to regain at least some of what she feared might be forever lost. She glanced over and once again met Coby’s eye. She held her gaze for an extra moment this time and smiled. Then, she broke eye contact. No way would she allow herself to make the same mistake twice.
“Hey look, it’s Pegasus Field,” Kiley interrupted.
“I was just reading about that,” Coy responded. “Of the three airstrips that serve McMurdo, it’s the only one with a foundation of glacial blue ice.” She shook her head, buckling in for landing. “Bright blue,” she added, “and it doesn’t have a bit of blue in it. It’s a perfect example of things not always being as they seem.”
“I know,” Kiley responded. She stood in the aisle, waiting for Coy to exit.
“You go ahead,” Coy said, “It’s going to take me a few minutes.” She began poking in the pocket of her luggage, timing her departure so that she could fall in line behind Coby.
***
“Man is it ever cold in this place!” Coby exclaimed.
“Sí, amiga!” Diego laughed. He led the way toward the humongous bright red vehicle that would rumble their group across the frozen Ross Sea. “So, what do you think of our ride?” he asked. “This is Ivan,” he added, “Ivan the Terra Bus.” He knew because it was his third stint as a chef in the galley.
“I just read about this vehicle on the flight,” Coy commented. “It’s designed to operate on snow or ice, kind of like a large multi-passenger snowcat with seating like a city bus.”
“It’s the coolest,” Coby responded. “I never saw anything like it in my life.”
“It’s supposed to weigh-in at sixty-seven thousand pounds,” Coy continued, “and only gets one mile per gallon.”
“I need one of these for the apocalypse!” Coby said with a grin that lit up her eyes.
Coy wrinkled her brow. “We’re having an apocalypse?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, you never know,” Coby answered with a wink and the warmest smile, “we might.”
The butterflies in Coy’s stomach began to flutter.
“It’d be like the perfect wheels for a zombie attack,” Coby went on.
“I think someone watched too many episodes of the Walking Dead before she came to Antarctica,” Coy chuckled with a slow shake of her head.
“Now, what would ever make you think that?” Coby responded with lingering eye contact.
Coy’s cheeks flushed as she picked up the pace to step around.
“I love that show,” Diego piped up, sliding his gloved fingers along a stretch of Ivan’s paint job. “This monster would be the ultimate in kick-ass, zombie-stomping vehicles,” he added.
Coby’s eyes widened. “Wouldn’t it, though?” she responded.
Coby dropped back to study Coy’s physique as she climbed up and on.
“Nice, huh,” Diego commented, “kind of perky and round.”
“Knock it off, man,” Coby responded, frowning. She passed by the vacant seat next to Coy and took the one two rows behind.
“Should’ve taken the one next to her,” Diego commented with a mischievous lift to his voice. He plopped down in the seat beside her as the young butch from the plane hopped up to take the one next to Coy. “You see, amiga,” he continued, “I told you that seat should’ve been yours.”
Coby dropped her gaze to the ice. “Not a problem,” she muttered.
“Oh, I think maybe it is, amiga,” Diego responded.
***
They rumbled along as if in a tank on the surface of the moon. Coy thought she was prepared. She thought she had a feel for what to expect from reading the liter
ature, but she didn’t. How could she? The ice was three miles thick at its deepest point for goodness sake. How could she expect to grasp that concept without seeing the place for herself? How could she comprehend what it meant to be in an area like this; a spot so high and dry and cold and windy and white and empty, that it was like no other place in the world?
From a distance, McMurdo Station had the appearance of a large mining camp, but it wasn’t. What it was, was a United States Antarctic Research Center and the largest community on the continent. It was a bustling metropolis with more than one hundred structures, three airstrips, and the world’s most southerly harbor. Not bad for a town built on a chunk of bare volcanic rock. It was a modern research hub, brimming with world-renowned scientists. Seeing to their healthcare needs would be her job for the next ten months.
Coy passed Coby on the way to her room. “Newbie row, I guess,” she chuckled.
“Yeah, I guess so,” Coby responded as she unlocked her door.
Coy stepped in, dropping her bags inside her closet, and flopping back onto her single mattress. She needed to FaceTime with her parents before she did anything else. Staying connected with them, especially now with the looming concern that they might be facing a significant health issue with Cyrus, was critically important.