by Jones, Heath
Walking as silently as I can across the forest floor, I make my way in the direction of the voices. As I approach, more snatches of sound come to me - the voices sound like they are arguing. I fear I have made the wrong choice and should have stayed away, but the voices draw me on. Moving closer, caution mixes with excitement as I begin to recognise some of the voices – Dain, with his deep, commanding voice; Rose, quiet and calm; and Theolin, deep and perpetually annoying. With Theolin there, it is no wonder they are arguing.
I still approach warily, placing my feet lightly on the leaf and twig covered ground. Coming to a copse of small bushes, I crouch down and part them so I can see through. Suddenly my heart soars. Beyond, on the edge of a trickling stream, is a small clearing. And in the clearing are many of my friends! There are no soldiers anywhere in view, so they are not captives. Nearby I see Rose with her hands on her hips, facing Theolin. Excited to see her again I push the bushes apart and jump through.
“Rose!” I shout.
Rose’s face breaks into a smile as she sees me. “Sara!”
She runs to me and we embrace, two friends who feared for the safety of the other. “I thought the soldier had captured you. I thought you would be…”
“It’s okay,” I reply.
“Sara?” Dain says, as though he can’t believe what he is seeing. “Sara!” He says again, wrapping me up in his strong arms and spinning me around. “I’m so glad you’re alive. Are you alright?”
The concern on his face makes me smile. “I am safe,” I say. But am I alright? With all that happened yesterday, I don’t know if I will ever be alright again. How can I forget what I saw in Farley?
“I’m so glad you’re safe,” Theolin says mockingly. Her black hair falls to her shoulders in waves and her fiery grey eyes are glaring at me, her arms folded across her chest. “Have you led the Peace Bringers here, too?” she adds accusingly.
“No,” I reply defensively. “No one has followed me.”
“Then where have you been?” Theolin asks. “The rest of us joined up together in the forest. Rose saw you attacked by that soldier. What did you have to do to escape?”
“Leave her alone,” Dain says. He unconsciously puts his large, strong body slightly in front of mine as though protecting me from a charging animal. “What matters is that she’s here.”
“When so many of us aren’t,” Theolin says, a trace of sadness edging her voice. “I don’t trust her.”
“You never have,” Rose says, coming to my defence. “Let it rest.”
“Where’s Jerym?” I ask. I’ve been looking for him amongst the others but haven’t seen him. “Where’s Jerym?” I ask again.
“We don’t know,” Dain answers. The same age as my brother, they are the closest of friends and have been since they were old enough to walk. They competed in everything, from foot races and tree climbing to their studies and imagined feats of strength. Dain always won. Now, looking down at me, his voice struggles not to break as he says, “He was with us when we reached the forest, but nobody has seen him since.”
I nod my head absently, as something grows cold inside me. So Jerym is lost too.
“You haven’t answered Theolin,” Bree says, joining us.
“Why should she have to?” Rose asks, jutting her chin out.
Bree stands with Theolin, facing us. Bree’s sister, Miya, joins them. Bree is a year younger than I am and Miya a year older. Although they are separated by two years, they could almost be twins. Both are fair-haired and light-skinned, seemingly with a perpetual frown on their faces. Especially Miya, who is shorter than her younger sister.
“I went back into Farley to find my mother and Rehana,” I say.
That silences them. They all look at me, waiting for me to go on. So, taking a deep breath and forcing myself to remember, I tell them what happened. Their anger grows as I speak – they have all lost family, friends, homes. When I tell them about finding my mother and Rehana, Dain puts a hand on my shoulder and mumbles about how sorry he is. Nobody else speaks until I finish.
“I’m sorry,” Rose says.
“So am I,” I reply. “We’ve all lost… so much.”
“At least you still have your father,” Theolin says, then turns and stalks off. Bree and Miya follow her.
“Who else… who else is here?” I ask.
“Tom and Bianca,” Rose replies.
“And Alek,” Dain adds.
“So few?” I ask. How can there be so few of us left from a town like Farley? “Are you sure there aren’t others somewhere else? I mean, they could have gone in another direction after reaching the forest. Or they could have…” I don’t know what they could have done.
“Not likely,” Rose replies. “You saw for yourself what they did with the captives of the town. We watched them being marched away south late last night.”
“I don’t think the Peace Bringers would allow many people to escape,” Dain says. “We’re the lucky ones.”
I look at him doubtfully. If we’re the lucky ones…
“Are you certain this is safe?” Tom asks Dain.
“The army has gone south,” he replies. “We didn’t dare build a fire last night, but tonight we’ll be alright.”
“Please, Tom,” Bianca urges, “the nights are cold.”
Tom watches Bianca. Shorter than Jerym and more sullen, I have never had much to do with Tom. But he has always been one of my brother’s friends. He nods reluctantly at Bianca, his girl, but still looks uncomfortably at the fire.
Hands extended toward the flames, I am grateful for the warmth. And the company. Even though I dislike some of the people sitting around the fire with me, I’m glad they are here.
“I’m hungry,” Miya whines. “We need food.”
“We’ll have more luck tomorrow,” Dain says.
“How? The three of you,” Miya says, indicating Dain, Tom, and Alek, “tried most of the day but didn’t catch anything.”
“We’ll all help tomorrow,” Rose says, attempting to be the peacemaker. “We’ll catch something.”
“What about you?” Bree says, looking at me.
“What about me?”
“We’ve all heard the stories about you catching wild animals with your bare hands,” Bree says. “Why don’t you go and catch us all some dinner?”
“Give it a rest,” Dain says wearily. “We’re all in this together. We all pitch in and catch something to eat, or we all go hungry together.”
“Yes, leave her alone, Bree,” Theolin says, her voice thick with sarcasm. “If Fairgrey wants to help, I’m sure she will.”
“We’ll get food,” Alek says quietly, the firelight illuminating his face. Alek has never been good-looking, but now his face looks sunken and drawn. His easy laughter always made him fun to be around. The same age as me, we used to chase each other through the alleys of Farley, and he would take the blame for me if we got into trouble. Alek was always laughing and could make a joke out of anyone or anything, no matter how serious. Now I realise I haven’t heard him laugh all day. I haven’t even seen him smile. The change in him is frightening – have we all changed that much? Have I?
“What about the rest of our townspeople?” Tom asks suddenly.
“What about them?” Bianca asks absently.
“We saw them marched away yesterday,” Tom says, “Are we just going to leave them all to whatever Tigranik wants to do to them? He could kill them all if he wants to.”
“He won’t do that,” Dain says. “You’ve heard the rumours too. He’ll enlist those who can fight in his army, train them up to be his soldiers. The rest he’ll resettle.”
“How can you be sure?” Tom argues. “What if he just wants to have them all tortured or killed or - ”
“If Tigranik wanted to kill them,” Dain interrupts, “they would already be dead and their bodies left to rot. It’s not Tigranik’s way.”
“Then what about the ones who refuse to join the Peace Bringers?” Tom persists. “We’
ve all heard what he does to them.”
An awkward silence descends. Yes, we’ve all heard what he does to them.
“They’ll have to look after themselves,” Alek says, breaking the silence. “Just like we all do.”
Silence again. The only sound is the crackling of the fire.
“So what are we going to do?” Rose asks. “We can’t just stay here in the forest.”
“Can we go back to Farley?” Bianca asks. “After all, the soldiers have left.”
“No. Farley isn’t for us anymore,” I say, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.
“Sara’s right,” Dain says. “Farley is in ruins and filled with corpses. It’ll be drowned in rats and disease-ridden within a week.”
“Then where do we go?” Rose asks again.
We all look at each other. Where do we go?
“Where are Tigranik’s armies not likely to be?” Theolin asks.
“They must have come north from Naren,” Dain says. “So we can’t go that way.”
I nod my head. Naren, the nation to our south, was devastated by earthquakes nearly seven years ago. Tigranik, fresh from his conquest of Lagon, offered Naren the services of his army to aid in the rebuilding of their cities. True to his work, he rebuilt the cities and restored the people to their homes. But his armies never left. Naren was brought under Tigranik’s rule by stealth. And now they swear their loyalty to him.
“Can’t go north either,” Tom says. “Nobody can live in those marshes.”
“What about Tolos?” I suggest.
Theolin glares at me. “Of course you’d want to go there. How do we know Tolos hasn’t fallen to Tigranik too?”
“We don’t,” I reply simply.
“We’d have heard if Tolos had been taken,” Rose says.
“Why?” Theolin shoots back. “We didn’t have any warning that Farley was about to be attacked. For all we know we might be the last remaining people in all of Hammel.”
“No, I think Sara’s right,” Dain says. “Tolos is a big city and well protected. Last we heard was that Tigranik’s army hadn’t been seen anywhere near Tolos. And that was only a few days ago.”
Theolin is quiet for a moment, thoughtful. “It’ll be dangerous,” she says. “If Tolos isn’t besieged already, it soon will be. And the country from here to there is sure to be filled with Tigranik’s soldiers.”
“Will it be any more dangerous than staying here?” Alek asks.
Unconsciously, we all look around us, half expecting danger to pounce from the shadows.
“Tolos it is,’ Tom says, and I’m surprised at the sudden firmness of his voice.
“Are we all agreed?” Dain asks.
One by one we all consent.
“What about food?” Miya asks. “Walking to Tolos will take us nearly a week. What will we do for food on the way?”
I look across the fire at Alek. The spark, the roguish glint that used to be in his eyes is gone. I find myself echoing what the new Alek might say. “We’ll worry about that tomorrow.”
CHAPTER THREE
The next day we start out just after dawn. A light mist hangs in the air, adding a touch of damp to an already cool morning. Dain, Tom, and Alek lead the way, while I stay at the back with Rose. It is, after all, where Theolin and the other girls want us.
It has always been this way. I remember when I was six and had been playing with Jerym, chasing him through the narrow alleys of the market stalls. We stopped to buy some apples to bring home when I’d seen Theolin and Bianca at the stall next to us. I didn’t know their names then; it was the first time I had seen them. I went up to them and said hello, introducing myself in as friendly a way as I knew how. Instead of replying, they just stared at me as though I were a stray animal. Then, without saying anything to me, or to each other, they gave me a contemptuous glare and walked off.
Jerym told me their names later, but he didn’t know much about them. I bumped into them occasionally over the next few months and their reaction to me was always the same. When they weren’t ignoring me, they were looking at me sideways and laughing, as though I had something wrong with me. Nobody else seemed to notice, and their contempt seemed exclusively for me.
The years didn’t change anything. I often tried to talk to Theolin or to joke with her, but she never stayed long enough to hear me finish. I even bought her a doll for her tenth birthday, hoping that would thaw our relationship. She thanked me as she took the doll and I thought I had done the right thing, until later that day I saw her throw it away in the street.
Theolin has an easy habit for gathering friends that I have never possessed. The only real friends I have ever had are Rose and Alek. But Theolin has always been surrounded by friends. And they all take her lead when it comes to how they treat me.
As we grew older it became obvious that Theolin had a crush on Jerym. When I mentioned it to her, thinking to be helpful, her coolness towards me turned ugly. Then, on the day I caught the deer and the boys had admitted me into their circle, her ugliness turned into outright aggression. And that’s where it has stayed.
Why doesn’t she like me? And why didn’t she like me from the moment she first saw me? From what Jerym and the other boys say, I know I am only average looking. Is that it? Am I not pretty enough for her? Is my brown, shoulder-length hair not brushed the right way? Is my voice too deep, or not deep enough? I don’t know. I didn’t know then, and I don’t know now. All I do know is, with Theolin and her friends, I’m not wanted.
Now, walking beside Rose, we forage as best we can for berries or fruit, or anything else we can find. And try to ignore the laughter coming from in front of us.
“What do you think we’ll find in Tolos?” Rose asks.
Father, is the first thing that comes to mind, but I can’t say that. “Hopefully a strong city that has plenty of room for refugees like us.”
“Refugees,” Rose says gloomily. “It sounds so… permanent.”
We come to a stream later in the day and stop on its bank to eat. Our combined gatherings are meagre – scarcely enough to stop the rumble in my stomach. At least we have our fill of fresh, cool water from the stream.
After crossing the shallow stream – the water barely reaches my knees – we continue on, always on the lookout for edible vegetation. A blueberry bush on the side of the track grabs my attention, so I leave the others to pick some. The berries are large, and I try one. The juice explodes in my mouth and I close my eyes, savouring the delicious taste.
“What was it like?”
I spin around, not having heard anyone approaching me, to see Bianca staring at me. Her short hair frames an oval face that Jerym used to call pretty. Being the only olive-skinned girl in Farley, other than her mother, the boys were always pining after her. “The berry?” I ask, confused.
“Farley,” she replies. There is a strange look in her eye that I find unsettling.
“It was…” The memories come flooding back. Of the bodies, the blood, the screams, the swords, the smell. All of it – all the things I don’t want to remember. Or talk about. But the way Bianca is looking at me – she wants to know. “It was bad. People lying dead or dying in the streets. Blood everywhere. They were crying out for help, for water, or just crying. There were - ”
“What was it like seeing your mother?” she interrupts me. “And Rehana?”
I stare at her, looking for any sign that she is trying to torment me. But then I understand the look in her eyes: she is the one who is tormented. “When I saw them… I felt my heart die.” I try to find other words to describe the scene, what I felt, but there are none.
Bianca nods her head. “I don’t know if my parents are alive or… or if they’ve been taken captive. I didn’t see them when the survivors were led away. But I didn’t see many faces. I don’t know what’s happened to them.”
“I’m sorry.” It’s all I can think to say.
There is an awkward silence. As sombre as it is, this is the longest conv
ersation I’ve had with Bianca in years. She’s always been one of Theolin’s friends – which means she’s never been one of mine.
“Which do you think is harder?” she asks, breaking the silence. “Seeing them like… like that, or not knowing?”
I think for a moment, trying to imagine myself in Bianca’s place. “I don’t know,” I reply softly.
After a moment she nods her head again. Then she looks at the blueberry bush as though noticing it for the first time, and absently starts picking the berries.
“If we catch some, we catch some,” Alek says, shrugging his shoulders.
“We’re trying,” Dain says.
“You need to try harder,” Miya replies. “We’re all starving. The small amount of food we’ve been able to forage isn’t enough. We need to catch some game and cook it.”
“We know,” Tom says. “It isn’t that easy.”
It is nearing dusk on our third day of walking, and we are all hungry. Miya was the one who voiced her frustration on behalf of us all – in her characteristically diplomatic way.
“Then why doesn’t she do something,” Miya asks accusingly, looking at me.
“Come on,” Dain says, “it’s not easy to catch a wild animal.”
“But she’s supposed to be a natural at it,” Theolin says. “Come on Sara, why don’t you catch our food for us?”
Dain opens his mouth to protest again but I interrupt him.
“It’s alright Dain. Theolin’s right. We’re all hungry, and so far no one has been able to catch anything. It’s my turn.”
Dain tries to stop me, but I stride off before he can.
Walking away from the track we have been following, away from the others, I search until I find a suitable tree with a low hanging branch. Climbing up I perch myself in the branches and wait.
This isn’t a good tree to have climbed. There are no bushes below it with edible food likely to attract game. In truth, I just want to be alone. Up here there is no one to laugh at me or make me feel inadequate. And besides, even if I don’t catch anything, neither has anyone else. I scan the ground below in the failing light, willing an animal to come along.