were opened. I had come up from the shipand found my wife out, but Sarah at home. "Where's Mary?" I asked."Oh, she has gone to pay some accounts." I was impatient and paced upand down the room. "Can't you be happy for five minutes without Mary,Jim?" says she. "It's a bad compliment to me that you can't becontented with my society for so short a time." "That's all right, mylass," said I, putting out my hand towards her in a kindly way, but shehad it in both hers in an instant, and they burned as if they were in afever. I looked into her eyes and I read it all there. There was noneed for her to speak, nor for me either. I frowned and drew my handaway. Then she stood by my side in silence for a bit, and then put upher hand and patted me on the shoulder. "Steady old Jim!" said she,and with a kind o' mocking laugh, she ran out of the room.
"'Well, from that time Sarah hated me with her whole heart and soul,and she is a woman who can hate, too. I was a fool to let her go onbiding with us--a besotted fool--but I never said a word to Mary, for Iknew it would grieve her. Things went on much as before, but after atime I began to find that there was a bit of a change in Mary herself.She had always been so trusting and so innocent, but now she becamequeer and suspicious, wanting to know where I had been and what I hadbeen doing, and whom my letters were from, and what I had in mypockets, and a thousand such follies. Day by day she grew queerer andmore irritable, and we had ceaseless rows about nothing. I was fairlypuzzled by it all. Sarah avoided me now, but she and Mary were justinseparable. I can see now how she was plotting and scheming andpoisoning my wife's mind against me, but I was such a blind beetle thatI could not understand it at the time. Then I broke my blue ribbon andbegan to drink again, but I think I should not have done it if Mary hadbeen the same as ever. She had some reason to be disgusted with me now,and the gap between us began to be wider and wider. And then this AlecFairbairn chipped in, and things became a thousand times blacker.
"'It was to see Sarah that he came to my house first, but soon it wasto see us, for he was a man with winning ways, and he made friendswherever he went. He was a dashing, swaggering chap, smart and curled,who had seen half the world and could talk of what he had seen. He wasgood company, I won't deny it, and he had wonderful polite ways withhim for a sailor man, so that I think there must have been a time whenhe knew more of the poop than the forecastle. For a month he was inand out of my house, and never once did it cross my mind that harmmight come of his soft, tricky ways. And then at last something mademe suspect, and from that day my peace was gone forever.
"'It was only a little thing, too. I had come into the parlourunexpected, and as I walked in at the door I saw a light of welcome onmy wife's face. But as she saw who it was it faded again, and sheturned away with a look of disappointment. That was enough for me.There was no one but Alec Fairbairn whose step she could have mistakenfor mine. If I could have seen him then I should have killed him, forI have always been like a madman when my temper gets loose. Mary sawthe devil's light in my eyes, and she ran forward with her hands on mysleeve. "Don't, Jim, don't!" says she. "Where's Sarah?" I asked. "Inthe kitchen," says she. "Sarah," says I as I went in, "this manFairbairn is never to darken my door again." "Why not?" says she."Because I order it." "Oh!" says she, "if my friends are not goodenough for this house, then I am not good enough for it either." "Youcan do what you like," says I, "but if Fairbairn shows his face hereagain I'll send you one of his ears for a keepsake." She wasfrightened by my face, I think, for she never answered a word, and thesame evening she left my house.
"'Well, I don't know now whether it was pure devilry on the part ofthis woman, or whether she thought that she could turn me against mywife by encouraging her to misbehave. Anyway, she took a house justtwo streets off and let lodgings to sailors. Fairbairn used to staythere, and Mary would go round to have tea with her sister and him.How often she went I don't know, but I followed her one day, and as Ibroke in at the door Fairbairn got away over the back garden wall, likethe cowardly skunk that he was. I swore to my wife that I would killher if I found her in his company again, and I led her back with me,sobbing and trembling, and as white as a piece of paper. There was notrace of love between us any longer. I could see that she hated me andfeared me, and when the thought of it drove me to drink, then shedespised me as well.
"'Well, Sarah found that she could not make a living in Liverpool, soshe went back, as I understand, to live with her sister in Croydon, andthings jogged on much the same as ever at home. And then came thisweek and all the misery and ruin.
"'It was in this way. We had gone on the May Day for a round voyage ofseven days, but a hogshead got loose and started one of our plates, sothat we had to put back into port for twelve hours. I left the shipand came home, thinking what a surprise it would be for my wife, andhoping that maybe she would be glad to see me so soon. The thought wasin my head as I turned into my own street, and at that moment a cabpassed me, and there she was, sitting by the side of Fairbairn, the twochatting and laughing, with never a thought for me as I stood watchingthem from the footpath.
"'I tell you, and I give you my word for it, that from that moment Iwas not my own master, and it is all like a dim dream when I look backon it. I had been drinking hard of late, and the two things togetherfairly turned my brain. There's something throbbing in my head now,like a docker's hammer, but that morning I seemed to have all Niagarawhizzing and buzzing in my ears.
"'Well, I took to my heels, and I ran after the cab. I had a heavy oakstick in my hand, and I tell you I saw red from the first; but as I ranI got cunning, too, and hung back a little to see them without beingseen. They pulled up soon at the railway station. There was a goodcrowd round the booking-office, so I got quite close to them withoutbeing seen. They took tickets for New Brighton. So did I, but I gotin three carriages behind them. When we reached it they walked alongthe Parade, and I was never more than a hundred yards from them. Atlast I saw them hire a boat and start for a row, for it was a very hotday, and they thought, no doubt, that it would be cooler on the water.
"'It was just as if they had been given into my hands. There was a bitof a haze, and you could not see more than a few hundred yards. Ihired a boat for myself, and I pulled after them. I could see the blurof their craft, but they were going nearly as fast as I, and they musthave been a long mile from the shore before I caught them up. The hazewas like a curtain all round us, and there were we three in the middleof it. My God, shall I ever forget their faces when they saw who wasin the boat that was closing in upon them? She screamed out. He sworelike a madman and jabbed at me with an oar, for he must have seen deathin my eyes. I got past it and got one in with my stick that crushedhis head like an egg. I would have spared her, perhaps, for all mymadness, but she threw her arms round him, crying out to him, andcalling him "Alec." I struck again, and she lay stretched beside him.I was like a wild beast then that had tasted blood. If Sarah had beenthere, by the Lord, she should have joined them. I pulled out myknife, and--well, there! I've said enough. It gave me a kind of savagejoy when I thought how Sarah would feel when she had such signs asthese of what her meddling had brought about. Then I tied the bodiesinto the boat, stove a plank, and stood by until they had sunk. I knewvery well that the owner would think that they had lost their bearingsin the haze, and had drifted off out to sea. I cleaned myself up, gotback to land, and joined my ship without a soul having a suspicion ofwhat had passed. That night I made up the packet for Sarah Cushing,and next day I sent it from Belfast.
"'There you have the whole truth of it. You can hang me, or do whatyou like with me, but you cannot punish me as I have been punishedalready. I cannot shut my eyes but I see those two faces staring atme--staring at me as they stared when my boat broke through the haze.I killed them quick, but they are killing me slow; and if I haveanother night of it I shall be either mad or dead before morning. Youwon't put me alone into a cell, sir? For pity's sake don't, and mayyou be treated in your day of agony as you treat me now.'
"What is the meaning
of it, Watson?" said Holmes solemnly as he laiddown the paper. "What object is served by this circle of misery andviolence and fear? It must tend to some end, or else our universe isruled by chance, which is unthinkable. But what end? There is thegreat standing perennial problem to which human reason is as far froman answer as ever."
The Adventure of the Cardboard Box Page 5