by Colbie Kay
“No, like I said, she’s closed off.”
“Thanks for your time. I’ll be in touch if I have any more questions.”
He steps over to Hacker, and they begin talking.
Inside Stilettos, I find Jorga’s purse with her phone inside. Damn it, she has a lock on it. Grabbing her keys, I rush outside to her car and rummage around to see if I can find anything that might be helpful. I open the glovebox, and papers fall out along with several envelopes. I read everything.
I’M WATCHING YOU
*
THAT’S A PRETTY BLACK TOP YOU HAVE ON
*
DID YOU HAVE A NICE DINNER?
The creepy messages go on and on, a shiver runs down my spine. I open an envelope, and it’s filled with pictures. Photos of Jorga, Tink, myself. Someone was stalking her. Why didn’t she tell me or anyone else?
Running back inside, I stare at the mess before me. I need to get to the hospital, but I have to clean this place up. Hacker eventually joins me and helps so we can leave sooner.
A couple of hours later, we lock up for the night, and Hacker follows me to the hospital.
I find Tink sitting alone in the waiting room with his head hung low. “Tink?” I question, frightened there’s been bad news.
“Her parents are with her. She’s out of surgery.”
I hold out the stack of pictures and papers. “He was stalking her.”
“What?” His brows pull down as he takes the stack from me. As he’s pillaging through them, he murmurs, “Why didn’t she tell anyone? Tell me or you?”
“I don’t know.” I sit down in the seat beside him. “What’s going to happen to you for killing him?”
His gaze meets mine. “Jenkins said it was justified.”
“Good.” I breathe out, relieved.
Tears brim his eyes. “I failed her, Dancer.”
“No,” I shout sternly. “You saved her. If you wouldn’t have gone out there, he would have killed her.”
He shakes his head while wiping his cheeks. “But everything else—”
I cut him off, “Doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters right now, Tink.”
The waiting room door opens. “Dancer.” I glance up to see Renee.
“Renee.” I stand and give her a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
Renee pulls back but keeps a hold on my shoulders. “Thanks for being here. Why was she at the club?”
“She was working there as a waitress.”
“She told us she found a job waitressing but never would say where.” She smiles. “Jorga would always do what she wanted even if we didn’t approve.” Tears stream down her face. “She just wanted to live her life again.”
“And she will. We will all make sure of it.” I hug her again. “I’m going to come to see her tomorrow. I want her to get rest before being bombarded with visitors.
Renee smiles sadly. “When she wakes up, I will tell her. Lucas, would you like to go see her?”
He nods and gets to his feet. I watch them walk through the door before I leave.
Hacker is still in the parking lot next to my Hummer when I exit the hospital. “Any word?”
“She’s out of surgery. Tink’s seeing her now.”
He lifts his head. “Good. I don’t know if he’d survive losing her after everything.”
“Thank God he was there.” I slide into my Hummer. “I don’t think I’ll be up for working tomorrow.”
He runs his hands over his face. “I think I’ll shut down for a few days. I’ll follow you home.”
As I enter the kitchen from the garage, I notice that it’s too quiet, and the house feels so empty. Going into my bathroom, I turn on the water to fill my bathtub and removed my clothes. As I sink into the soaker tub, I let my tears consume me. I’m exhausted from tonight’s events, but I’m thankful that Jorga is going to survive. I may not know her that well, but she’s become my best friend, and I didn’t even realize it. I took it for granted and never stopped to appreciate the friendship blossoming between us.
I wipe my sweaty palms on my jean covered thighs then pick up all of the papers and photos Dancer gave me. Blowing out a deep breath, I prepare myself to see Jorga. Following behind Renee, we come to room 321. Stepping inside, I see her lying there sleeping, hooked up to the beeping machines. It rips my fuckin’ heart out that I couldn’t protect her. My chest twists, causing more pain the closer I get. “I tried so hard, and I failed. I thought I could save her, protect her, but I couldn’t.”
“You didn’t fail.” Renee stands next to me. “You did save her, Lucas.”
Tears blur my vision. “Everyone keeps saying I saved her, but if that was true, then why is she lying here?”
“She’s lying here because they let Rex out of prison. None of us knew he was being released. He was determined, and I believe one way or another, he would have found her. But what if you hadn’t been there?”
I angrily wipe the tears from my cheeks. “I hated her working at the club. She is so stubborn and strong-willed.”
She laughs lightly. “That she is, but I think we all tried to protect her too much, and that’s why she was keeping secrets. After he beat her, after she survived, she just wanted to live her life again. She didn’t want to hide anymore.”
“He was stalking her.” I hand over the stack in my hand and pass it to Renee.
“Chad, let’s go get some coffee and look over this stuff before calling the sheriff.”
Jorga’s dad steps next to his wife. His exhausted eyes meet mine. “Sit with her while we’re gone.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
It’s just me and her in the room. It’s quiet except for the beeping. I pull a chair up beside her bed and sit. The hospital gown and blanket she’s covered with hide the extent of her wounds, but the bandage on her face goes from her hairline, down the middle of her forehead, across the bridge of her nose, and doesn’t stop until it ends at her left ear. She’s most likely going to be scarred, but she’s still going to be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s still that angel I saw all those years ago.
Lifting my hand, I place it beside hers. I hesitate for a moment, but ultimately decide to turn her hand over. I lay my fingertips against hers, barely touching, but it’s enough. I feel the contact her skin against mine and the electricity shooting between our connection. With one finger, I trace the bandage wrapping around her palm and the small lines on each of her fingers. “I wanted you to be the one thing I got right in this life, Jorga, but I couldn’t even do that.” Tears trickle down my face.
Her hand jerks away and my head snaps up to her face. Her eyes are open, staring at me. “Jorga.” I smile through my falling tears. “I’m sorry I touched you.”
She lifts her hand as a tear trails down her own cheek. Her palm faces me as her fingers are upright and splayed. I reach out, pressing my fingertips to hers as sobs begin to rack my body. Lowering my hand, I lace mine with hers. Her eyes close as more tears fall, but she has the hint of a smile playing on her lips.
“You’re going to make it through this.”
Her eyes meet mine. “Where is he?”
“I killed him,” I answer honestly.
Her body shakes with her crying. “Thank you,” She murmurs through her quivering lips.
“He was stalking you.”
She nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just wanted to be as normal as I could be. I lived in fear for so long. I wasn’t going to let him dictate my life any longer.”
“You’re free now, Jorga.”
“Because of you.” One side of her lips lift. “We never got to talk.”
I run my thumb along hers. “That doesn’t matter now. You just need to worry about healing. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.” She takes a deep breath and winces. “Are you in pain?” I push the button on her bed to call the nurse.
“Just a little.” She tries to situate herself on the bed, hissing through clenched teeth. “I have
to tell you something.”
My eyebrows scrunch together. “What is it.”
“I love you, Lucas.”
My breath is stolen the moment I hear those words fall from her lips. “I love you too, Jorga, so fuckin’ much.”
The door opens, and the nurse comes in. “Ms. Lankford it’s good to see you awake. Are you in pain?”
“Yes, she is,” I answer.
The nurse hands Jorga a button which is attached to a machine doling out medicine through her IV. “This will administer morphine when you need it. It’s pre-set with the dose. No matter how many times you push the button, you won’t be given too much. It should take effect pretty quickly.” The nurse begins checking her vitals. Once she’s done she smiles kindly. “Your vitals look good. Do you need anything else?”
“No.” Jorga shakes her head carefully. “Thank you.” The nurse leaves, closing the door behind her as Jorga presses the button. Within, seconds her eyes are growing heavy. “Lucas?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t stop touching me.” Her eyes close, and her breathing deepens.
“I’ll never stop.”
A doctor quietly steps into my room early in the morning. You would think sleeping would be easy in a hospital, but it’s not when people are constantly coming in throughout the night. "Good morning, Jorga. I'm Doctor Batina. How are you feeling?”
“I’m tired and hurting.” I grimace as I try to shift in the bed. I glance over at Lucas sleeping in the chair. When visiting hours were over, he refused to leave.
“That’s to be expected after everything you’ve been through in the last twenty-four hours. I wanted to talk to you about the extent of your injuries.”
My eyes are drawn back to hers. "Okay." No one has told me how bad it really is, and I’m grateful the doctor is going to, but I’m also scared about what she’s going to say.
The doctor drags a chair to my bedside and sits down. "You have a total of fifteen stab wounds that required stitches. They are mostly on your lower abdominal area, and with the extent of the damage and the multiple injuries, you had some internal bleeding. We rushed you into emergency surgery, however, due to the location and the severity of some of your injuries, we had to perform a hysterectomy."
My eyes widen as images of my future flash by in my head. "Hysterectomy? I’m never going to have a baby? I’m never going to be a mother?" Tears spring forth.
Her features become somber. “You won’t be able to carry, but there are other ways of being a mother. I’m going to send one of our therapists from the psych department to speak with you. What happened to you is traumatic, Jorga.”
Staring down at the blanket, I respond softly, “Okay. I had a therapist after my last attack. I haven’t seen her in a while, but I can get an appointment set up once I’m out of here.”
She pats my arm tenderly, and I peer up to see her smiling kindly. “I think that will be good. I need to check your incisions. I’m going to take the bandages off your face first.” Standing up, she gets a pair of gloves from the box on the wall next to my bed and leans closer. Gently, she pulls on the gauze and tape until it’s completely removed, throwing it into the trash before lowering the blanket and lifting my hospital gown. Minutes pass as she continues checking each of my wounds. “They look good and no infection has set in. We’ll continue to keep an eye on that. I’ll have the nurse come in to clean and rebandage them.”
The next morning the doctor returns to remove my catheter and check my wounds. I’m finally able to walk which is exciting after being laid up in my hospital bed for so long. Before the nurse has a chance to clean my wounds again, I ask, “Can you take me into the bathroom?”
She nods with a gentle smile. “Sure, Jorga.”
She helps me into a sitting position then helps me stand. Oh, God, maybe this wasn’t a good idea. The pain radiating from my body is almost too much to bear. I grit and hiss through the excruciating agony as I take one step after another.
I’m hunched forward with my hands holding onto the bathroom sink as I stare at myself in the mirror. A tear rolls down my cheek, and my gut twists with nausea as I see the cut and stitches marring my face. "I'm going to be scarred."
The nurse stands behind me. Her tender voice says, "Yes. The redness will fade over time, but you will have a scar."
“He took everything from me.”
Gently setting her hands on my shoulders, her gaze meets my tear-filled eyes in the mirror. “He didn’t take everything. You’re still here. If you let him have that power over you, he wins. Don’t let him win. Let’s get you back in bed.”
As I’m walking past Lucas’s chair, I glance at him through my peripheral vision. He’s just waking up. The nurse helps me back into my bed, and I cover my head with the blanket.
“Why are you covering your head?” Lucas questions.
In a serious tone, I order, “You need to leave.”
“I’m not leaving. What’s wrong with you?” His own voice sounds annoyed.
The nurse announces, “Actually, I do need you to step out of the room so I can clean her wounds and rebandage them.”
“Fine.” Lucas huffs and stomps out of the room. I uncover my face for the nurse.
The nurse grins as she begins treating each of my wounds. “You shouldn’t be so hard on him. But if you really want him gone, I can have security escort him out.”
“No!” I shout unexpectedly. “I want him here, it’s just I don’t want him to see me like this.”
As she carefully bandages my face, she says, “Something tells me he’s not going to care.” She throws away the trash and makes sure I’m comfortable. “If you need anything else, push your call button. I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check on you.”
As the nurse leaves, Lucas steps back inside, and I quickly cover my face once again.
He blows out a deep breath of air. “Jorga.”
“I’m hideous,” I whimper.
I feel him tug on the blanket, but I hold firm. “Uncover your face,” He tries commanding me.
I pull the cover down enough to look at him.
“You saw,” He states.
I nod as tears spill. “I’m ugly, Lucas. He made me ugly, and I’m never going to be able to have my own child. He took everything from me,” I repeat.
“Jorga, you’re still here walking this earth. He didn’t take everything.” His words duplicate what the nurse said.
“It feels like he did. I can barely look at myself.”
“Sit up and take the cover off your face.”
Begrudgingly, I do.
Lucas takes his cut off. He takes a few deep breaths then lifts his shirt over his head. “There’s only a handful of people who have seen me without my shirt since I was in that freezer. I know what it’s like to feel ugly, Jorga. I felt it all my life, but after I was scarred, I felt the same way you do.” He sets his shirt on the edge of the bed. His fists clench at his sides while he stands there allowing me to peruse his body. My eyes drift over his washboard abs and thin frame, all of his tattoos and his scars, each and every one of them. Some of them are lighter in color while others are still pink, some indent his skin while others are bubbled. “I’m ugly, Jorga. This is only some of my scars. My back and legs are covered as well. Daphne, I willingly let her to see my past wounds, but only to give me my tattoo on my chest. However, I will only allow you to see me like this.”
“You’re not ugly.” My heart trips at the sight of him shirtless. I don’t want to take my eyes off him. His scars add to his sex appeal for me.
“And neither are you.” He sits on the edge of the bed beside me. “Your beauty is more than skin deep, Jorga. In fact, I think you might be sexier now than before.” He grins.
I tilt my head and purse my lips. “You’re just saying that.”
He shakes his head, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’m serious. Our scars say we have a story. We are survivors. We are fighters. I stared at you all night, watching you sleep. I�
��ve seen your scar, but it doesn’t make you any less beautiful to me. You still look like an angel like the first day I saw you.”
My lips lift into a smile. “I think you’re sexy, Lucas.”
“Yeah?” He waggles his eyebrows, and it makes me laugh.
I nod. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
His hand lays on top of mine. “Me either.”
“Can we do this? Can we face our fears together?” A spark of hope bursts in my chest.
“We can try.”
I bite my lip nervously. “Will you try and kiss me?”
His eyes search mine as he moves in closer. “I love you,” He whispers when his lips are only a breath away from touching mine.
“I love you too.”
His lips slowly press against mine. I close my eyes and savor the feeling. Our mouths part, our tongues slowly slide along each other’s as we explore this new territory. He tastes of mint mixed with smoke.
The nurse returns earlier than expected. “I see he’s not leaving.”
We break apart, and I tuck my lips into my mouth to keep from laughing. Our heated gazes stay locked together as our breaths come out in short pants. “No, he’s not going anywhere.”
“Shit! It’s cold.” Lucas runs and jumps into my car so we can go to my parents for Thanksgiving. Rubbing his hands together, he tries to warm them up. Winter crept up on us, and once it hit, it hasn’t been a good one. His eyes drift to mine, his sexy smirk appearing. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Hey.” His lips press against mine in a soft, seductive kiss. “We have to stop at the gas station before getting your mom and Grady,” I tell him when he pulls away. He always breaks away before I’m ready for him to stop. We haven’t taken it further than kissing and holding hands. Lucas doesn’t want to rush me, and I love him for that; however, I’m tired of moving at a snail’s pace. His love makes me stronger every day, and I’m ready for more.
It’s been a few weeks since I was released from the hospital and since the Sinners’ clubhouse was back up and running. Lucas wanted me to stay there with him to keep an eye on me, and my parents wished I would move back home so they could protect me, but ultimately, it was my decision. I chose to return home to Dancer’s. Sometimes, I have second thoughts of not taking him up on his offer because those pangs of jealousy hit me when he’s there and I’m not, but that’s very seldom. He spends most of his time with me at home, and since I haven’t returned to work, which may never happen, I have a lot of free time on my hands.