by Nic Saint
“Yeah, Chase is going to arrest Karl Bunyon and search his house,” I said, repeating what Odelia had told us before she’d dismissed us and told us to go and play.
“So Shaft Man and John Doe were both killed by the catnapper?” asked Harriet.
“It’s a possibility,” I said with a shrug.
“But you don’t think he did it, do you, Max?” said Brutus, eyeing me closely.
“I don’t know, Brutus. Right now I don’t have enough information at my disposal to decide what happened, and as long as that’s the case, I prefer to defer judgment.”
He grinned. “Prefer to defer judgment. Nice one. You’re starting to sound like Perry Mason, Max. Well, I’m sure you’ll figure it out sooner or later, buddy. You always do.”
It was nice to get this vote of confidence from one who was notoriously critical of my efforts as a cat sleuth, but frankly they weren’t exactly justified, as I hadn’t lied: I had absolutely no clue what was going on. What I did know was that if Gran was going to turn Marge and Tex’s house into a construction site, things were about to get a little heated around here. And before long this proved to be the case, when Odelia suddenly came storming into the house, and burst out, “Have you guys seen Gran?”
“Last time I saw her she was next door,” I told my human, “supervising the reconstruction efforts.”
“Well, she’s not there, and the house is a complete mess. What is she up to, do you know?”
“I think she wants to put in a new kitchen,” said Dooley.
“That’s not a kitchen remodel!” said Odelia, getting a little too loud if I’m honest.
The four of us decided to take a nap—even though the sound of those jackhammers was very annoying I must confess. Still, we took a valiant stab at a nice little nap on the couch. Unfortunately, our nap was to be cut short, for a mere five minutes later Marge came storming in. “Where is my mother!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.
“She’s out there somewhere,” said Harriet wearily, then yawned, hoping to convey the message that we wanted less talk and more peace and quiet.
“She’s destroying my house! There’s people drilling holes in my walls!”
“Yeah, I saw that,” I said.
“When all is said and done,” said Harriet, “It’s going to look fabulous.”
“Airy and bright,” Brutus added.
“Airy and bright my ass!” Marge screamed, and stormed out again.
Tex was next, stomping in through the sliding glass door and looking around like Jack Nicholson in The Shining, ready to start kicking ass and taking names. He had that wild look in his eyes that foretold of a massacre in the making, and it wasn’t hard to guess who his intended victim was. “Where’s Vesta!” he roared. “I’m going to wring her neck!”
“She’s out there supervising the reconstruction,” said Harriet.
But of course Tex couldn’t understand what Harriet said, which he proved by repeating, “I’m going to wring that damn woman’s neck if it’s the last thing I do!”
And then he stomped out again. And I think at that point we got about an hour’s worth of good solid sleep. Which was very nice indeed.
Chapter 23
Odelia stood overseeing the carnage, along with her mother. The inner wall was gone, and so was the second inner wall, and all in all there wasn’t much left of what had once been a cozy little home.
“What do you have to say for yourself, Ma!” Marge demanded.
“I think it looks pretty great,” said Gran admiringly. She was still wearing her hard hat and looked like an elderly construction worker. “Look, if you wanna make an omelet you gotta break some eggs. That’s just the way it is. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can relax.”
“You should have asked me before you hired these… these… this wrecking crew!”
“They’re not a wrecking crew. They’re builders. And they’re very good builders. The contractor is Scarlett’s cousin’s neighbor’s mother-in-law’s brother’s best friend, and he comes highly recommended. He’s also dirt cheap. Besides, we talked about this, remember? And you said it was fine.”
“I didn’t say it was fine! I said I was going to discuss it with Tex!”
Dad stood eyeing the destruction with a dazed look on his face. “Where is my television?” he asked in a strangled voice. “What did they do to my television?”
“Is that all you have to say!” Mom demanded.
“Don’t you worry about a thing,” said Gran. “All of our stuff is safely stored.”
“Where? Where is it stored?” Mom demanded.
“I’m not sure, but Piotr assured me it’s all stored away safe and sound. And cheap.”
“Piotr? Is that the name of the contractor?” asked Odelia.
“Yeah, Piotr Krakowska.”
“Oh, dear God,” said Mom, looking as if she was either on the verge of crying or about to strangle Gran. Dad was apoplectic, which showed in a general sense of dazedness.
“How long is this going to take?” asked Odelia.
“Well, that depends,” said Gran.
“Depends!” Mom cried.
“Yeah, best-case scenario? Three weeks. Worst-case scenario, three months.”
“But where are we going to live!”
They all turned to look at Odelia.
“Oh, no,” said Odelia. “I don’t have space for three extra people.”
“Well, your grandmother can sleep on the couch,” said Mom savagely.
“We don’t have to sleep on any couches,” said Gran. “Our bedrooms are perfectly fine to sleep in. This is a kitchen remodel, people, not a home renovation!”
Just then, there was a loud creaking sound, and suddenly before their very eyes the entire upper floor suddenly crashed down on the lower floor in a cloud of dust!
“Oh, my God!” Mom cried.
“Now how did that happen?” asked Gran curiously.
Just then, Odelia’s phone chimed, and automatically she picked it out of her jeans back pocket. “Yeah?” she said without looking to see who it was.
“Babe? We got him!”
“Who got what?”
“The killer! We went through Karl Bunyon’s house with a fine-tooth comb and we found the gun!”
“Gun?”
“Babe, are you all right? You sound a little… off.”
“Mom and Dad’s house just died, Chase,” she intoned. “It’s dead now.”
There was a pause, then Chase said, “I’m coming.”
And he did. Five minutes later he was standing right next to them as they all stared at what was left of the house, which wasn’t a lot.
“What happened?” asked Chase.
“I’m not sure,” said Odelia. “One minute the house was fine, the next it was gone.”
“This is just a minor setback,” said Gran. “I’ll call Piotr and tell him to fix things.”
“Fix things!” Dad suddenly screamed. “Vesta, the whole house is gone!”
“No need to shout, Tex,” said Gran, rubbing her ear. “I’m sure it’s an easy fix.”
It rarely happens that you’re treated to the sight of two grown-ups crying, but that’s what happened just then: both Odelia’s parents suddenly burst into tears.
“Well,” said Chase. “I guess I better start getting that guest room ready, huh?”
And as Odelia and Chase removed themselves from the scene, leaving Gran to call her contractor, and Mom and Dad to gently weep, Odelia said, “What was that you said about a gun?”
“Oh, right. Guess what? We found a gun safe in Karl Bunyon’s office. And inside we found… the murder weapon!”
“The gun that killed our John Doe?”
“Exactly! So it’s case closed. Karl Bunyon killed John Doe, and buried him in the woods.”
“But why? And who is John Doe?”
“No idea,” said Chase, as he started moving his workout equipment to a corner of the guest bedroom. “He’s not talking
. I placed him under arrest, advised him of his rights, and he’s taking the right to remain silent pretty seriously. All he wanted to impress upon me is that he’s innocent, and that there must be some kind of terrible mistake.”
“What mistake?”
Chase shrugged. “Beats me.”
“You’re sure this is the same weapon?”
“One hundred percent. The bullet that killed John Doe was fired from Karl Bunyon’s gun. No doubt about it.”
“And the gun was in his gun safe.”
“Karl’s fingerprints are on the gun, the gun was in his gun safe, and the gun safe was locked with a combination lock.”
“What’s the combination?”
“The guy’s birthday.”
“Anyone else have access to the safe? The wife… or the daughter?”
“I suppose. Now where am I going to put this thing?”
He was referring to the weightlifting machine he used to train his chest and back muscles. It weighed a ton, and even though it was placed in a corner of the room, and rarely used these days since Chase preferred to do his workouts at the gym, it took up a lot of space.
“You know what? When those builders come in tomorrow, I’ll ask them to take this thing out.” He gave his wife a cheerful grin. “For some reason I have a feeling we’re going to need this room to double as a guest bedroom a lot more than as a home gym.”
Chapter 24
The next morning we were all lounging lazily in Odelia’s office. At home things were a little hectic, with Gran and Marge and Tex suddenly moving in, and the house next door having been reduced to rubble, and so the only little bit of peace and quiet we could find was in our human’s office.
The contractor, when he finally turned up early that morning, had uttered the key word to explain why the house had suddenly decided to collapse. This word was ‘load-bearing wall.’ Okay, so that’s three words, but bear with me. He also uttered a second key word and this was ‘support beam.’ Okay, fine, that’s two words. “Darn it,” the man had said in a strong Polish accent, or at least I assumed it was Polish, “I knew I should have put in those support beams before I took out those two load-bearing walls.”
And that’s how you learn new words from time to time. Pity it was at the expense of Marge and Tex’s nice house, and incidentally Dooley’s, and also Brutus’s and Harriet’s.
Well, at least there was still Odelia’s home, and since Odelia had already ruled out any kitchen remodels taking place in her home, I think for now we were safe.
Suddenly a woman walked into Odelia’s office. I recognized her as Kathleen Bunyon, and I had a feeling I knew just what she was going to say even before she said it.
“Miss Poole!” she said, sounding a little breathless as she took a seat. “My husband has been arrested by your husband!”
It’s one of those things you don’t hear very often, just like the words ‘supporting beam’ and ‘load-bearing wall.’
“Yeah, I know,” said Odelia. “And I’m very sorry, Mrs. Bunyon. Looks like the gun that killed the person we found in the woods belonged to your husband.”
“But that’s impossible!” said Kathleen Bunyon as she tightly gripped her purse in her lap. “My husband is not a killer, Miss Poole—he simply isn’t! Can’t you do something?”
“I’m afraid I can’t.”
“But he didn’t do it—I swear. And now he’ll definitely lose his kids. His ex-wife will use this to yank his visitation rights so fast…” She shook her head in utter dismay.
“Is there anyone else who had access to that gun?” asked Odelia. “Your daughter, maybe?”
“No. Karl always keeps that safe locked up tight.”
“Did you know that your daughter was the girlfriend of Darryl Farmer?”
“Who?”
“Darryl Farmer, the DJ who was found dead in an elevator shaft two nights ago.”
Kathleen frowned as she digested this piece of information, which clearly was news to her. “My daughter is seventeen, Miss Poole. She doesn’t date.”
“Well, I have it on good authority that she does—or did.”
“Darryl Farmer,” Kathleen repeated slowly. “Is this a boy in her class? Cause I think I once caught her texting some kid in her class—using very inappropriate language.”
“Darryl Farmer was thirty-five, Mrs. Bunyon. He was a DJ who played a lot of rave parties.”
“Oh, God,” said Kathleen, her hand flying to her face in a gesture of utter consternation. “Thirty-five!”
“Yeah, and as it happens he was also in those same woods the night our Mr. John Doe died. So now we’re thinking that maybe there’s some kind of a connection.”
“What connection?”
“I’m not sure,” Odelia confessed.
“Look, my husband wouldn’t hurt a fly,” said Kathleen. “He’s the most peace-loving individual on the planet. Which is one of the reasons I married him in the first place. My first husband, Suzy’s dad, was a real brute, and I swore that I’d never date a man who treated me badly ever again. And Karl has been a dream—well, except maybe for the fact that apparently he lied to me about being allergic to cats.”
“Look, there’s a lot of things we don’t know yet,” said Odelia. “We don’t know who this John Doe is, and we don’t know why he was killed, but what we do know is that your husband’s gun was used to kill him. The bullet that was found in John Doe matches Karl’s gun. There’s no doubt about it.”
“Then Grace must have done it,” said Kathleen promptly.
“Grace Kramer?”
Kathleen nodded primly. “She must have taken Karl’s gun and killed that man. Just so she could take away Karl’s kids. It’s the kind of thing she would do.” She leaned in and spat, “The woman is vicious. And she would stop at nothing to get back at Karl. She hates him for some reason, and she hates the fact that he’s the father of her kids.” She pointed a finger at Odelia. “You look into Grace, and you’ll see that I’m onto something here.”
“But… how would Grace have had access to your husband’s gun safe?”
Kathleen thought for a moment, then said, “Grace drops off the kids every other weekend. She could have taken the gun then.”
Odelia shook her head. “Mrs. Bunyon…”
“Kathleen, please. And can’t you look into this, Miss Poole? Can’t you please try to get Karl out of this mess? I’ve heard so many good things about you. How you’re an ace sleuth. There must be something you can do. I swear to God, Karl didn’t do it, whatever the evidence says. He simply didn’t.” She then took her wallet from her purse.
“No, Mrs. Bunyon,” said Odelia, anticipating what the woman was about to say.
“Kathleen, please. I’ll pay you. I’ll pay you whatever you want, if you can just get my Karl released from prison.”
“I can’t accept your money, Kathleen. I just can’t.”
“But you don’t understand,” said the woman as she placed a hundred-dollar bill on the desk, then another hundred-dollar bill. “If Karl is convicted the judge will definitely take away his kids. Please.” A third hundred-dollar bill fluttered from her fingers.
But Odelia picked up all three bills, took Kathleen’s wallet and put them back.
“Now that’s just silly,” Harriet muttered. She was probably thinking how much Cat Snax Odelia could buy from that money.
“Look, I’ll look into your husband’s case, all right?”
“Oh, thank you!”
“I’m not making any promises, mind you, but I will take a closer look.”
“Thank you so much, Odelia,” said Kathleen, getting up. “And I’m sure that if you do look into this, you’ll find that it’s that woman who stole Karl’s gun. Grace is the killer.”
After Kathleen had left, Harriet said, “You should have accepted that money, Odelia. Do you realize how much cat food three hundred dollars will buy you?”
“Or you could have used the money to buy your parents a new house,” said
Dooley, taking a more practical, or should I say altruistic view.
“I can’t take Kathleen’s money, you guys,” said Odelia, “cause I’m not so sure her husband isn’t guilty of murder.”
“Well, like you said, you’re going to find out, right?” said Dooley.
Odelia shook her head. “I’m afraid there’s not much I can do. This is as clear-cut a case as I’ve ever seen.”
“Poor Kathleen,” said Dooley. “She really believes her husband is innocent, doesn’t she?”
“She does,” I confirmed. “But Odelia is right: the case is pretty clear-cut.” Unless… “What if the daughter took the gun?” I suggested.
“I was thinking the same thing,” Odelia intimated. “But why? Why would a teenager kill a homeless man?”
“For kicks?” I suggested.
“Max!” Dooley cried, horrified.
“No, but it happens,” I said. “Some teenagers simply like to kill people for kicks. And maybe this Suzy Bunyon is just such a person. Or maybe her friends are—like Todd Park. Or the late Darryl Farmer.”
“You might be onto something, Max,” Odelia said. “I’ll definitely look into that.”
Chapter 25
Once again Odelia was sitting across from her husband at the precinct.
“So you’re actually suggesting the ex-wife did it,” he said musingly.
“It’s just a thought,” she said.
“A thought Kathleen Bunyon came up with, and for good reason, too, for she’ll soon find her husband in jail for a very long time, convicted of first-degree murder.”
“Look, I’m not saying she’s right. I’m just asking you to take the broad view, and consider all the possibilities. Not just focus on Karl now that you’ve got him and the gun tied to the murder.”
“Okay, so let’s assume for a moment that Kathleen is right. And that Grace Kramer stole her ex-husband’s gun from his safe and shot a homeless person just so she could frame Karl and take his kids away from him.”
“That’s all I’m asking: to consider the possibility.”