by Mara Leigh
“And you told me the most powerful vampires are the oldest.” I gasp as a realization floods through me. Have I fallen in love with a woman who is hundreds or thousands of years old? “How old is Selina?”
He grins. “Selina’s an exception to that rule. She’s only been a vampire for about two years, and I don’t know why, but for some reason she’s different.” He opens his mouth to say something else, then frowns as if thinking.
I’m at least glad that the stories she told me about her childhood, her days as a homeless teen, weren’t necessarily lies. But Rock’s expression worries me.
“What?” I ask. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He shrugs. “That’s the thing, Colton. I don’t know. I get the feeling Gray knows more about Selina than he lets on. I think he knows why she’s different. I think he knows things he hasn’t told me—or her.”
“That’s messed up.”
“Yes, it is.”
I lean back in my chair, my body dropping some of the tension it was holding, but I still feel like I’m dangling over a cliff.
In the past few days, my life’s been turned upside down.
In just the last few hours I’ve learned things I never could have imagined, but the strangest part is—the more I learn, the less strange it seems. And although I’ve found out that the woman I love is a vampire—a creature I’ve always considered a monster—I can’t shake my feelings for this one specific vampire.
And on top of that, I learn she’s in love with multiple men?
I should be repulsed, but instead I feel oddly flattered that I have a chance to be included. When Selina told me she loved me I didn’t know the truth about her. What if she just said it to sway me?
And thinking about sharing her…
I look up at Rock.
He’s studying me intently, with what looks like compassion and interest. Is he attracted to me?
“So you and Gray…are you…with each other?”
Rock shakes his head. “If you mean sexually, then no. But…” He tips his head to the side and his eyebrows rise. “Now that you mention it, though, I do love Gray. Or at least I’m starting to. But more like a brother or a partner. It’s not sexual. Not without Selina in the mix.”
I shake my head. I’m going crazy. His using the word partner made me think about Sanjay. I’d do anything to save his life and he’d do the same for me. I trust Sanjay implicitly. Is that love? I suppose it is a form of love. But still it’s not what Rock is talking about.
“Gray is…” Rock continues. “I’ve got some personal issues—issues that put a barrier between me and Selina—and Gray’s been very understanding.” The big man closes his eyes for a moment and he doesn’t need to say more. I might not know exactly what he’s talking about, but somehow I get it.
And I think I get why Gray and Rock are willing to share Selina, if share is the right way to put it.
In spite of what she is, Selina’s the most incredible person I’ve ever known. The simple fact that she continued to see me, to get to know me when I was so vocal about hating the very essence of what she was, what she is… That she tried to build an understanding between us when she knew at any moment I might try to stake her.
While the thought of loving a vampire still seems abhorrent, the idea of not loving Selina seems worse. So much worse.
The idea of living without Selina in my life, the thought of seeing her hurt or suffering. I shudder.
“Do you understand now?” Rock asks. “Can we trust you?”
I pause, trying to form a response. “I’m not sure I understand everything. Not yet. But one thing I’m sure of is that I love Selina.”
“Fuck my life,” Chelle says from nearby.
She sits up, rubbing her head. “That’s not what a girl wants to hear when she wakes.”
Rock goes to her side. “You okay?”
She nods. “Hey boss. What the hell happened?” Then she sucks in a breath as her eyes widen. “Oh, yeah. Selina. The feeding. Did it go okay?” She leans around Rock to look at me, questions in her eyes.
“Yeah,” I tell her. “It went okay. Thanks for the demonstration.”
Chapter 15
Selina
“I never imagined…” Pike’s voice rumbles through my body as I lie on his chest.
“Never imagined what?” I ask.
“That it would feel so good.” He traces his hand to the small of my back, making it clear what he means. “Being inside you…”
“Being inside me with consent,” I add, quickly wanting to bite my tongue for ruining the mood. Still, it had to be said.
“Look at me,” he says.
I tip my head to look into his eyes.
“Back then. When Xavier had you captive.” His eyes are full of pain. “I never. Never.” Closing his eyes, he shakes his head. “I did have my fingers inside you. Yes. That one time when Xavier ordered me too. I couldn’t see a way to disobey in front of the entire court and still keep you alive, but that is the only time any part of me violated or hurt you—ever.”
Looking into his eyes, I’ve never been more certain that he’s telling the truth.
“I’m so sorry.” His voice cracks. “I should have done more to stop Xavier and the guards. I thought that you’d give in and marry him like all the others, and then things would get easier for you. His other Mates seemed happy. Happier than anyone else at court. And life on the outside was rough—for me anyway. And if it was so tough for me, a large, male vampire…” His voice tightens. “I thought you were better off inside.”
“As a prisoner?”
Closing his eyes, he shakes his head. “So stupid. I was so stupid. Stupid about so much.”
I trace my finger along a scar on his cheek, and his breath catches sharply. For a moment I think that I’ve hurt him, but then I look into his eyes.
“You’d better get back downstairs,” he says. “See what’s going on with the cop.
He’s right, but I don’t want to move. Not ever.
Still, Colton is locked in the basement, and I need to face that particular part of my reality instead of ignoring it. Other temporarily-avoided bits of my reality flash through my mind.
“Have you talked to Astrid, yet?”
He shakes his head.
I put my ear back down on his chest. I get why he hasn’t. Gray was incarcerated by FJS and he works there. Plus, he’s Astrid’s friend.
Gray was incarcerated for staking a vampire who killed dozens of young women in the city, for killing a vampire who set human/vampire relations back decades. Not that it was good before, but certainly Zora made it worse. And yet Gray was locked up for killing her.
If they’d do that to Gray, what would FJS do to Pike?
“I’ve got nothing useful for Astrid,” Pike says gruffly.
“But she can’t find a way in to Xavier’s court.”
“Good.” His hand rubs my back. “They’d only get themselves killed.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. The second Astrid and her team enter, if the guards at the entrance don’t kill them, the Guard will move Xavier and collapse the tunnels behind as they go.”
As former commander of Xavier’s Guard, Pike knows that place better than anyone. If he’s right, what’s the answer? Is Xavier invincible? “Will he come after me again?” I ask softly.
Pike tenses beneath me. “I will protect you.”
“Should I leave the city?”
“Maybe.” His hand slides up and down my bare back then cups my ass. “But he’ll follow. He’ll follow wherever you go.”
“Why me?” I push up on one arm and look into his eyes. “Why is Xavier so fixated on me? He’s got so many Mates already, and I’m sure there are others who are willing.”
He looks deep into my eyes. “You’re special, Lina.”
“Did you just call me Lina?”
He smiles. “Guess I did. That okay?”
“Say it again.” I tuck my
hair behind my ear so it no longer falls on his face.
“Lina.” He lifts his head to kiss me. “Luscious Lina.”
Warmth spreads through me as we kiss. I like that Pike has a pet name for me, something special just he and I share. I slide against his body as we kiss, and my desire for him builds.
He takes my head in his hands, and breaks our kiss. “You have no idea how special you are.”
“You’re special too.” I go in for another kiss.
He stops me. “It’s more than that, Lina. You don’t understand. You’re…unique.”
“Isn’t everyone?”
“You’ve got me there.” His mouth quirks into a half-smile, as his fingers thread through my hair. Then one of them moves down to fondle my ass.
“If you keep doing that,” I say. “I am going to need you inside me again.”
He grins for real this time. “Soon, Lina. Soon.” He pulls himself up on the chaise, and shifts me to sit across his lap. “Where are your clothes?”
I gesture across the roof. “Around—somewhere.” I know that I have to go downstairs—and soon—but I feel so safe in Pike’s arms. “So what should I do about Xavier? Do I live my entire life in hiding, hunted?”
He shakes his head. “You won’t have to.”
“Why?”
He frowns. “Because I’m going to kill Xavier.”
My heart skips. “How?”
“I’ve got a plan.”
“Tell me.”
He shakes his head.
“Tell me. Tell me or…”
“Or what?”
I straddle his lap and cup his scarred face in my hands. “Or we’re over. Over before we even really get started.”
Pain washes over his face. A pain so obvious I feel it. I doubt I could follow through on my threat. After tonight I’m not sure I could ever leave Pike, but I have to make him believe that I would. “Tell me. Or this is it.” I slide off his lap and turn away.
“I’m going back to his court,” he says.
I spin back around. “Pike, no. You said it yourself. Xavier wants you dead.”
“Xavier won’t kill me.” He looks down. “Not if I offer him…you.”
My heart nearly stops. “What do you mean?”
“Lina.” He grabs my hand and pulls me down to sit, wrapping his arms around me. “I would never let him, or any of his Guard, touch you. Never. Not ever again.”
“Then what?”
“I’ll tell his guards that I have you captive, that I’ll bring you to him. When Xavier hears that, he’ll agree to see me, and when I get close enough, I’ll put a stake through his heart.”
He makes it sound so simple, but I know that it’s not. “What if he doesn’t believe that you’ll bring me to him?”
“He will.”
“I’ll go with you.”
He shakes his head. “No way.”
“Yes, Pike.” I lay my hand on his chest. “If you bring me in as a hostage, then he’ll definitely let you get close. Plus, I can help. Xavier thinks I’m weak. They all do. He has no idea how strong I’ve become.” And whereas I hesitated in killing Zora, I have no such qualms where Xavier’s concerned.
As much as my suggestion terrifies me, I know it’s the right one.
Pike kisses me lightly, then lifts me off him and sets me down on the roof. “I’ll think about it, but Xavier’s not your only problem right now.”
I sigh. “True. Time to find out what’s going on downstairs.” I find my clothes, and then push one leg into my jeans.
“No matter what happens,” Pike says. “Know that I love you.”
I turn toward him, but he’s already jumped off the roof and into the night.
One leg in my jeans, I run to the edge, but there’s no sign of him, not anywhere. I’m strong now, and faster than I’ve ever imagined, especially given the newly found power I feel tonight after feeding from Pike.
Standing here, half-dressed on the roof, I know I could follow him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.
But I also need to deal with what’s going on in the basement.
Chapter 16
Gray
The door to the cell, my new home, opens abruptly, and I drop my book onto the table next to the perfectly serviceable easy chair I’ve been using.
Azad strides into the room, Astrid behind him.
I leap to my feet.
Azad is one of the Ancients, like my maker Faiza. He’s small for a male, maybe five foot six and a hundred and forty pounds at best, but the power that comes with Azad’s age and position radiates from his frame.
As always, I’m struck by his beauty, his clear brown skin that glows in almost any light, his thick head of curly black hair, his carefully trimmed beard and flashing brown eyes, so dark they almost seem black.
“Grayson, why did you not insist that FJS contact us the moment you were arrested?” Azad asks in accented English, then turns to Astrid. “This man is on a crucial mission that impacts the future of all vampirekind. He’s a member of the Sovereign Order of The Knights of Sanguis, and his noble mission takes priority over whatever crime it is for which he stands accused.”
“I gave him the chance to call you,” Astrid says flatly. “Not informing you was his choice, not mine.”
Azad’s attention bears down on me. “Is this true?”
I nod, and my throat tightens.
It’s an involuntary reaction to fear and guilt, and yet part of me feels like it really is the power of his gaze that’s strangling me, although I have never heard even a rumor that Azad has that kind of power.
But it doesn’t matter that he can’t strangle me with his mind. He can strangle me with my guilt for what I’ve done. I was a fool to think I could shirk my duty, that I could keep her from the Order indefinitely. A selfish fool.
Astrid squares her shoulders and lifts her chin. In the nearly twenty years I’ve known the FJS Head of Security, she’s never backed down—from anyone—but even though she’s got at least six inches on Azad, height-wise, she quite obviously adjusts her posture as if she’s convincing herself to stand up to him. I don’t blame her.
“Grayson committed vampircide,” Astrid says. “He confessed to this crime and clearly stated that it wasn’t self-defense.” She raises her hand to stop my commander as he prepares to interrupt. “That said, while our investigation is not yet complete, if there’s ever been a case for justified vampircide, Grayson’s case might be it. But we have laws. He must stand trial.”
Without even looking at her, Azad lifts his hand and she backs up a few steps as if his gesture had actual force. I am beginning to wonder if my commander does have the power to move people with his mind.
“This trial can wait,” the powerful vampire says, his voice quiet yet somehow filling the room. “Once Grayson’s mission is complete, the Order will ensure he stands trial for his crime.” His gaze digs a deep hole into my psyche and then fills it with shame.
I should have turned Selina over to the Order the same night Astrid and Malcolm brought her to me in the bar. I suspected who she was from the start.
If I’d done my duty, the pain of losing her wouldn’t be so agonizing. Instead, I developed feelings for a woman I can never have, and it’s not only me who’ll be affected. There’s also Rock and Pike and Colton—not to mention Selina herself. She developed feelings for men who can never be her Mates. Not one of us worthy. And because of my weakness, all five of us will be hurt.
“Leave us,” Azad says.
Astrid flinches like she’s been punched, but does as he directs and leaves me alone with my commander to face retribution.
Azad gestures toward the table and I drop into the same chair I’ve used during my interrogations. He sits opposite me, and somehow makes the simple office chair seem like the ornately carved seat at the head of the Council Room. A room I’ve only seen once, forty years ago when I was made a knight.
His expression softens. “Young Knight.” He reaches
his hand across the table, his long fingers seeming at once gentle and fearsome. The red symbol of the Order flashes on his ring, fashioned there in inlayed rubies and a further reminder of my failings.
“When Faiza nominated you for the Order,” Azad says firmly, “she assured me that you sought a higher purpose for your life. She claimed you were cunning yet loyal, and that you were well suited to the solitary and rewarding life of a knight.”
I nod, remembering the words used by my Maker. When Faiza said them, I considered them the highest compliments. Then after my training, I was assigned to the intelligence division, responsible for exposing threats to the monarchy. Our division failed, the king was taken, and while I was not directly responsible, I share in the blame.
And now I’ve done something even worse.
How much does Azad know about Zora and the murders here in Toronto? I have withheld more from him than just Selina.
“The vampire I killed.” I draw a breath readying myself to face the music. “She was Andreas’s Progeny.”
“Andreas created a vampire?” Azad’s eyes flash with surprise and anger. “It is forbidden for knights of the Order to have Progeny. Just as they are forbidden to take Mates.”
I nod.
“And you killed Andreas’s Progeny? Why.”
“She was murdering humans in some kind of misguided vengeance for Andreas’s death.”
“You say this like you know it as truth.”
I nod.
“How could you know that all of these murders were committed by her?”
“She marked her victims with the sacred symbol of the Order.”
Azad’s eyes fill with fury, even though outwardly, he remains calm.
I share his fury. I may have been a member of the Order for a heartbeat of time compared to Azad, but the connection between our order and these murders makes me boil.
“How did this Zora even know of our symbol?”