by Mara Leigh
I close my eyes for a moment. I’m screwing this up. But it’s become clear that at least part of Colton’s motivation tonight is because he assumes I’ve had sex with the others. And this makes my decision to put on the brakes all that much firmer.
Not only does he have to process that I’m a vampire, he has to deal with the fact that I love three other men as well as him.
“I want to have sex with you.” I cup his face. “I want that so much.”
His eyes light up.
“But…”
His eyes drop again.
“I want it to be when you’re ready.”
“I am ready.” Frowning, he presses my hand against his erection. “Can’t you feel how ready I am?”
“I mean emotionally.” I sense he’s getting angry, or at least frustrated. I need to find the right words to help him understand.
“It’s wrong to have sex with someone who’s too inebriated to give consent. Do you agree?”
“I’m not drunk.” Frowning, he tips his head to the side. “I had maybe an ounce of that cognac stuff.”
“I know you’re not drunk, but Colton…you just found out I’m a vampire. And you also found out that I love more than one man.”
He winces at that, making me even more sure of my decision.
“Colton, you found out—I just found out—that I’m some kind of vampire royalty, and even though that just seems silly and irrelevant to my actual life—I am so not a princess no matter what Gray says—I’m still processing that information too. Plus…” I wet my lips. “I fed from your vein today.”
His eyes narrow. “I thought you said that had no after effects.”
“It doesn’t. As long as you’re healthy it’s no different from donating blood—in fact, it’s a little easier because vampire venom relaxes you and takes away the stress.”
I shake my head. “But that’s not the point. I did something to you tonight, something extremely personal and intimate without your consent. I violated your trust and then locked you in the basement.” I have to close my eyes to contain my shame and regret.
“You had to do that,” he says without much conviction. “If you hadn’t, I would have called in the VTF. I might have—killed you. You needed to make me understand.”
I smile softly, hoping he means that. “Still, it’s all…it’s all just too much at once, don’t you think? And I don’t want us to have sex until you’ve had time to reflect, to fully accept who I am and who I love.”
His eyes close, but he nods. “It’s not just because I’m a virgin? Or because I’m a human?”
I pull my hand away from where he’s still holding it over his crotch and then slide onto his lap to snuggle against him. “No. Not because of either of those things. But they do kind of turn the whole situation up to eleven.”
He laughs. “Spinal Tap.”
“Love that movie.”
“Me too.”
“And I love you, Selina.”
“I love you too, Colton.”
We rest in each other’s arms and I feel so content in my exhaustion—physical and emotional. And there’s still so much more to face.
Colton claims to have accepted what I am, but who knows how he’ll feel once he returns to the outside world, once sunlight hits his face or he sees his buddies in the VTF. For all I know, in a few hours Colton might want to kill me again.
And Colton’s only one of my loves that I’m worried about. Anxiety pushes back in to fade my euphoria.
Pike is in trouble with FJS because he refuses to go in for questioning, and seems determined to go after Xavier on his own.
And while I’m glad that Gray was released from jail and finally revealed what he’s been hiding, I’m shaken by the news that he actually knew my father. On top of that, I don’t really get why Gray’s so worked up about this whole princess thing, and now that I’ve had time to think, it doesn’t fully explain why he’s kept his emotions so closed off.
And then there’s Rock. Things have been good between us, but we still haven’t fully recovered to the same level of closeness we had before I tried to force him into sex.
Another good reason to make sure I avoid the same mistake with Colton. My nose close to my human love’s neck, I inhale his musky scent.
He stirs beneath me and raises his arm to look at his watch.
“What time is it?” I ask.
“Eight a.m. I should call into the station. Make sure no one’s looking for me.”
“Are you supposed to work today?” The idea of Colton going back to his vampire-killing job dials down the heat between us.
“Not until late afternoon.” He yawns.
“You should get some sleep.”
“Mmmm.” He rubs my back. “Can I sleep next to you? I won’t try to have sex with you again. Scout’s honor.”
I smile as I kiss his cheek. “I share a room with Rock.” And Gray just got home after two nights in jail, I think but don’t say.
His body tenses.
“But there are empty rooms upstairs. Or…or you could go home if that’s more comfortable.”
He leans back and looks into my eyes. “You’d let me go home?”
“You’re not trapped here.” My heart pounds. I need to trust him, but somehow his question makes me wonder if I should.
“I guess I should keep to my normal routine…” He rubs his temple. “But I have no idea what’s normal now. In just a day, my whole life has changed.”
“You don’t need to decide everything this minute.” I slide off his lap to sit beside him.
“I feel like I’m living on a different planet.” His eyes are full of worry.
I kiss his forehead. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” He traces his hand down my cheek. “But like you said—it’s a lot.”
“You must have more questions. You can ask me anything. And Rock, Gray and Pike would be happy to answer any questions you have too.”
“Thanks. And you were right. It’s been so much so fast.”
He stands and we walk slowly together toward the door.
When we reach the foyer he stops short. Looking up at the vast panes of stained glass filtering the morning sun, he thrusts out his arm to keep me back.
“The glass is treated,” I tell him. “All of the windows in this house are treated to filter out the spectrum that’s lethal for vampires.”
“Right.” Still holding me back, he stares at the multicolored pattern the panes cast on the marble floor. “The task force has no idea such a thing exists.” The awe in his voice is clear.
My heart skips, at another reminder of his job. “Will you tell them?”
He shakes his head, then he takes a few steps forward and turns back. “I honestly don’t know.”
“I understand.”
He gathers me into his arms. “But I do know that I will never, ever, do anything to give your secret away. Or your friends’. I promise.”
“I know.”
He kisses me, then opens the door leading to the small vestibule that comes before the outside door.
“I can’t go any farther,” I tell him.
He nods. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
A contented smile takes over his face as if he’s just figuring out the answer himself. “For everything. For existing. For being patient. For loving me in spite of my prejudices. For trusting me to leave here, right now.”
I nod, but doubts creep inside me. Colton lied to me before. Is he lying again?
My gut says no, but how can I ever be sure?
Chapter 20
Gray
After Selina shows out the cop, she leans back against the inside door.
It was risky to let him leave, and a big part of me wanted to run down and stop her—or more to the point, stop him. But the sun’s up, so there’s nothing I can do about it now.
I’d lay good odds that the Vampire Task Force will attack this place within the hour. Let’s hope
I lose that bet.
“Hey,” I say softly.
She looks up, and I see her face.
My heart nearly explodes with love and sadness, and I jump over the railing to land softly on the foyer floor. Within a second she’s in my arms, our hearts thumping wildly, seeming to synchronize their equally manic rates.
“So, you let the cop out into the world,” I say, “knowing what he knows.”
“Looks that way.”
“Do you really trust him?”
She nods against my shoulder. “I do. He’s still confused, but Colton wouldn’t do anything to hurt me—hurt any of us.”
“I hope you’re right.”
She looks up into my eyes, and hers glow even brighter now, like the silver shimmer on a mid-summer lake. Combined with her purple hair and pale, nearly white skin, she’s spectacular. How could anyone look at her and not see her royal lineage or sense the immense power that hasn’t nearly reached its full potential.
I shake my head.
“What?”
“Just admiring you.”
She grins. “You’re not bad to look at either, you know.”
I wink. “And my late 1960’s style can almost pass for hipster these days.”
She reaches up to stroke the sideburns I can never get rid of, and I feel so much love for her it hurts. It’s like every part of my body is continuously expanding. With every day it’s stretched to its former limits, then beyond, to accommodate my feelings for Selina, alongside the pain of knowing I’ll soon lose her.
“We need to talk.” I slide my hands down to her hips, resting them there as loosely as I can force myself too.
“Upstairs?” Her eyes darken with desire.
I shake my head. “If we go up there, we’ll forget about talking.”
“Would that be so bad?” She arches into me, and the pleasure makes me gasp.
“What? Your cop didn’t just fuck your brains out?”
She frowns. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, he did not.”
This worries me. “What if he’s lying again? Like he did about the ravine.” If his feelings for Selina are strong enough to accept she’s a vampire—a creature he hates—why didn’t he shag her? It’s beyond me why any male would pass up the chance. Even ones who aren’t into women.
“We decided to wait.”
I can’t hide my questioning look. “For what? Marriage? Because Princess, that’s not going to happen.” I look up to the vaulted ceiling. “And that’s what we need to talk about.”
“I don’t care who my father was.” She shakes her head. “No, I do care. I wish I’d known him, and I wish you’d told me about him sooner. But I certainly don’t care if he was a king.”
“You need to care.”
“No. I don’t.” She steps back from me and raises a hand like she’s swearing an oath. “I hereby abdicate. I have zero interest in whatever royal title you think I should have.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“I’ll still be your princess—“ she cups my package “—if schtupping royalty is a game that turns you on.”
I growl in her ear, but then gently push her away from me. “How the hell are we going to have a serious conversation if you keep doing things like that?”
“Fine. Have it your way.” She heads toward the living room. “Let’s talk. But only if you agree to my terms.” She looks back over her shoulder. “And that’s my royal command.”
Chuckling under my breath, I follow her. She seems to be getting used to ruling already.
“What are your terms, Your Majesty?” The title burns on my tongue. I haven’t used it since the last time I saw her father. It’s in jest at the moment, but in barely a month it won’t be.
She sits on the leather sofa, opposite the plush one she usually favors. “I—no—” she grins “—we. I’m supposed to use the royal we. Right? We will agree to an audience with you, Sir Grayson, our loyal subject, upon one condition.”
“And what condition is that?” I drop down into one of the wing-backed chairs.
“We will grant you—” she glances at the grandfather clock in the corner “—fifteen minutes of talking and then…”
“Then what?” My desire growls.
“Then, we command you to fuck our royal brains out, as you so eloquently put it earlier.”
“With the utmost pleasure, Your Majesty.” My desire roars—then the heat inside me cools. Tonight could be our last time. I have to turn her over to Azad. If he hasn’t already figured out that I’m lying, he will.
“Okay, so talk.” She brings up her legs to sit cross-legged. “Tick tock.”
“The Vampire Monarchy dates back over four thousand years.”
“Go on.” She removes her shirt and bra, exposing her breasts.”
“Princess…”
She shrugs. “I’m just getting comfortable. It’s warm in here, don’t you think?” She toys with her nipples, and they quickly form taut peaks.
She knows me too well, but her distraction techniques will not prevail.
I focus on the coffee table. “The monarchy is vital to the ongoing stability of civilization, vital to keeping peace among vampire nations, as well as peace between vampires and the other sentient species on earth.”
“Okay. But if it’s so important, that just makes my point.” She leans back, still playing with one of her tits. “There’s no way I should be queen. In your own words, I’m still a baby. I don’t have a clue about vampire politics or any kind of politics for that matter.”
I avert my gaze again. “You’ll learn.”
“No.”
At the force of her voice, I look up.
She looks frustrated, confused. “I do want to learn more about vampire culture and history, but I have zero interest in contributing to it in any way. I don’t want to be a queen, or a princess for that matter. I abdicate. I reject it all. What’s so hard to understand?”
“It’s not that simple…” I look down again, unable to take the pain of looking into her eyes.
“Seems simple to me.”
Azad will explain this better. As vampires go, I’m still a relative baby too, having transitioned less than fifty years ago. As one of the most junior knights, my knowledge of who might claim the crown in Selina’s absence is weak.
“There are factions within the vampire world,” I tell her, trying to convey the gravity of the situation with my tone. “And let’s just say that the king’s twenty-year absence has not brought those factions closer together. If you don’t take the crown, the monarchy may crumble.”
She sucks in a sharp breath, but then her expression hardens and she lifts her chin. “Then it crumbles.” But I can see how her resolve starts to crumble too.
Looking down, she folds her arms over her bare chest. “I wouldn’t know what to do, Gray. The thought of being any kind of ruler is crazy enough, but now you tell me that there are warring factions?”
Shaking her head, she looks up to me, her eyes almost pleading. “I don’t care who I am. I can’t do it. I could never. And even if I could, I don’t want to. It’s a simple as that.”
“I wish it were.”
She looks up at the clock. “Our audience is almost over, and there is a more pressing subject I would like to discuss.”
“What’s that?” I would give Selina anything if I could, and if I could take away her birthright, her responsibility, I would. But I’ve said all I can on that topic right now. She needs more time for the idea to sink in. And once she’s at court she’ll better understand what’s at stake.
“Why won’t you say it?” she asks softly. “Why haven’t you ever said it?”
I lean forward in my chair. “Said what?”
“That you love me.” Her eyes are so sad. “That you need me.”
“I love you. I need you,” I say, and although I mean the words, much more than she could possibly know, I keep my tone joking, like I’m a terrible soap opera star overdoing h
is lines.
“You’re an asshole.” She reaches for her shirt.
Crossing the space between us in a heartbeat, I take her into my arms.
She easily breaks my hold. My arms fly off her, my shoulders nearly dislocating. She shoves me, and I fly away from her, smashing into the opposite wall.
A framed picture loosens from the impact, nearly crashing down on my head.
In a flash, she’s crouched in front of me. “Gray. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. When did I get so strong?”
“It’s okay.” I shake off the dizziness triggered by the intimate encounter between the wood paneling and my skull. “I’ll mend.”
She kisses me softly. “Where does it hurt?”
I point to my temple. She kisses it softly. I point to my ribs, then my shoulder. She kisses each in turn, and then I point to my crotch.
“Feeling better are we?” She smirks.
I heave an exaggerated sigh. “I suppose it’s time to live up to my part of the royal agreement—if I must.”
“Remind me.” She bends and lightly kisses the fabric of my trousers. My cock instantly goes from stiff to rock hard. “What was our agreement again?”
“You granted me an audience—” I groan as she presses her lips against my package harder “—on the condition that I fuck your brains out after.”
“Oh, that’s right.” Still crouched and looking into my eyes, she strokes me through my cotton trousers, softly and slowly, but each tiny movement heightens the sensations. My balls tighten, beyond ready to come.
I reach for her bare breast, but she rises and slowly removes her jeans leaving her fully naked and standing above me.
I’ve recovered from my collision with the wall, but I’m too stunned to get up. I’m mesmerized by the sight of her, the scent of her, the power that radiates from her body, her soul.
Straddling my legs and crouching again, she opens my fly, takes me in her hand, and then with her wet softness, she sheathes my rod.
She gasps at the initial penetration, then slides down to kneel over me, pushing herself down and forward until our hip bones collide.
I moan and tense, fighting my body’s desperate need to come.
Fully seated, she leans back, resting her hands on my thighs behind her, and I reach out to hold her hips.