And once again two sets of eyes were focused on her. Dot’s gently enquiring, Faye’s probing, as if she could read things in Natalie’s mind she hadn’t admitted to herself.
“I…” Natalie shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t thought about it yet.” It was a lie; she had but was terrified by the concept. What would she do with herself if she didn’t have school?
“Oh well. You must be happy doing what you’re doing.” Dot smiled. “You’ll know when the time has come, won’t she, Faye?”
Faye nodded and continued to look at Natalie with a steady gaze. “You’ll know.”
“Oh blast!”
They both looked at Dot who’d sat then shot back off her seat as if she’d been bitten. She reached down and plucked her sunglasses from the lounge. One arm dangled.
“And another pair bites the dust,” Faye said.
“Why do I have so much trouble with sunglasses?”
Natalie smiled. The last five days had been punctuated with searches for Dot’s glasses.
“I’m popping back to the room for my spare pair,” Dot said. “Don’t start drinks without me.”
Natalie and Faye settled themselves on their sun-lounges. Faye stared off after her friend and gave a shake of her head. “She won’t be able to find them.” Natalie expected Faye to say something acerbic as she often did but was surprised when her next words were gentle instead. “I don’t know what I would have done without her friendship over the years.”
Natalie immediately felt the deep sting of Brenda’s move away; close neighbours and best friends, they’d shared the highs and lows of life, like Dot and Faye.
“How long have you known each other?” she asked.
Faye pondered a moment. “Thirty-five years. She’s reliable in a crisis, is Dot.”
“I imagine you are too.”
“Hmmm.” Once again Faye seemed to ponder. “Fifteen years ago both my sons got jobs overseas and in a flash they were gone. They’d been my reason for getting out of bed each day for so long, I fell in a big hole. I was fifty-three and all I’d done with my life was teach and raise two boys.”
Faye’s words were like a can-opener peeling back the lid on her own life. “What did you do?”
“I took up swimming.” Faye raised her sunglasses, looked steadily at Natalie and grinned. “Some people buy fast cars. I have a heated lap pool in my backyard now.”
Natalie tried to think of something she was so passionate about that she would invest that kind of money in it and came up blank.
“I also went to a life coach,” Faye said. “I only lasted one session but I came away with a nugget I’ve stuck by. Don’t let anyone should you. Even people close to you with the best of intentions will want you to do things their way. Accepting that I had a right to do things my way helped me deal with the guilt of my marriage failure, of raising two sons without their father.”
Natalie studied Faye. Never in a million years would she have thought her the kind of person who felt guilt about divorcing an alcoholic husband. She appeared so composed and in control of her life but perhaps she hadn’t always been like that.
“I had to turn the room upside down to find my spare glasses,” Dot’s bright voice called as she approached.
“Surprise,” Faye muttered and sat her own glasses firmly back on the bridge of her nose.
“Oh, here comes that nice waiter again.” Dot waved and gave a girlish titter as the young man who’d been bringing them drinks each afternoon approached. He was young enough to be Dot’s grandson but she flirted outrageously with him and he was sweet enough to play along.
They ordered their drinks and settled back onto their sun-lounges. Natalie found herself thinking over Faye’s midlife crisis. Is that what was happening to her? She was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a teacher, all things she’d felt she’d been mildly successful at to this point – well, maybe not the daughter part – and yet she found herself wondering if that was it. Surely there was more to life.
“Are we going to yoga again this afternoon?” Dot’s question broke through her thoughts.
Faye lifted the brim of the hat she’d placed over her face. “Are you kidding?”
“No.” Dot sat up. “I enjoyed it, didn’t you, Natalie?”
“Yes, but—”
“See, Faye.”
“I’m not going.” Faye settled back under her hat. “Don’t let me stop you two though.”
Dot had convinced them to go to the free sunset session of yoga the previous afternoon. Natalie had not done yoga before, another thing she’d never found time for. The room was tucked away in a quiet corner of the resort and she’d soon relaxed and enjoyed herself, but their session had ended rather abruptly and she wasn’t sure she could face the instructor again.
“I don’t think I’m in the mood now.” Natalie tried to let Dot down gently.
There was a snort from beneath Faye’s hat.
“Oh, I’d rather go with you girls than on my own.” Dot pouted. “Bother you, Faye.”
The hat flew up again. “You don’t seriously want to go back after what happened?”
“It was nothing abnormal.”
Natalie chewed her lip to stop from laughing. The class had gone well until Faye and Dot had been so fully relaxed that Dot had dozed off and Faye had let one rip, at which point they’d gathered their belongings while the rest of the class, all much younger women, avoided eye contact. They’d bolted from the room, collapsing in hysterical laughter as soon as they made it outside.
“No, me farting and you snoring is par for the course but not usually in a full class of lithe young things.” The hat went down again.
“It was rather funny.” Dot began to laugh.
Natalie joined in and from under the hat came the strangled chook sound that had startled Natalie the first time she heard it but she now understood was Faye’s happy laugh.
“Your drinks, ladies.” They composed themselves as the young man handed out their cocktails. “Are you heading downtown to watch the Staircase to the Moon tonight?” he asked.
“It’ll be our only chance,” Dot said, giving Faye a hard stare.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Faye replied.
“I’d like to see what it’s all about,” Natalie said.
“It’s pretty spectacular,” their waiter said. “And also popular, so don’t forget to book a space on the bus.” He flashed them a big smile. “Enjoy, ladies.”
Dot raised her blue concoction in the air. “Here’s to good friends.” Natalie and Faye chorused after her.
Natalie sipped the mojito she’d become rather fond of. While she savoured it she pondered what to do once Dot and Faye had left. Nothing appealed. So much of the last four days had been fun because of their company. She was going to miss them.
Laura sat in another cafe in a different town, down the highway away from home towards Adelaide, and watched out the window for Paul to arrive. The tailing had been all finished by lunchtime, thank goodness, so when she’d got Paul’s text asking if she’d like to meet for a late coffee here, she’d jumped at the chance. Outside the day was bleak. Sleety rain had fallen on and off and the temperature had barely risen higher than the overnight low. Thankfully the coffee shop was warm, although if Paul didn’t hurry up the flat white she’d ordered him would be cold.
Just as she thought it she saw his car pull up out the front. He’d been here during the afternoon for a principals’ meeting. It was a longer drive but she didn’t mind where they met.
He pushed open the door, looked around and smiled as she waved to catch his attention, even though at this hour on such a miserable day she was the only one occupying a table. She took in his smart appearance. Today he was wearing dark pants, a checked jacket and a woollen scarf that revealed a tie beneath as he tugged it away from his neck and sat down.
“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “These departmental meetings always drag on.”
“I got your coffee.”
“I
t was meant to be my shout.”
“Next time,” she said and he smiled.
“Thanks for coming down here to meet me.”
“I don’t mind. It’s nice for a change.” Laura glanced around at the industrial-look decor. The cafe had changed hands and had a makeover since the last time she’d been here.
“It’s just that there are some parts of my life I like to keep private. I find that hard living where I do. I feel very…” He scratched his ear. “Visible.”
Laura grinned. “That’s the country for you. Everybody knows your business even if you don’t.” She liked the idea that he considered their meeting private.
“Speaking of which, is your mum’s friend okay?”
“Her friend?”
“The one she’s gone to visit?”
“Oh, Aunty Brenda.”
“She’s your aunty?”
“Mum’s close friend, and I’m sure she’s fine, why?”
“Your mum sounded a bit…stressed when she rang to tell me she was going and I haven’t heard from her. It all seemed a bit sudden and I thought perhaps something was wrong.”
“No. Nothing wrong. Mum hasn’t seen Brenda since she moved away last year. They’re very close.”
“Luckily her co-teacher Claire has filled in for a few days. It’s not easy to get relief teachers at the moment, especially on short notice.”
“She made it tricky for you too.” Laura was still annoyed her mum had left her with all the food prep. Even though there was a lot of extra food prepared in the freezer she still had to defrost it, deliver it and clean up.
“We’re managing.” Once more Paul scratched his ear. “I hope it wasn’t me that’s driven her off.”
“You?”
“We had a bit of a discussion about curriculum the other week. I think I may have put her offside.”
He looked so concerned she reached out and placed a hand over his resting on the table. She smiled. “Don’t let it bother you. Mum’s not easily upset. She just needed a break…” Laura twisted her lips. “From everything I guess.”
“Well, when you talk to her please send my best. She’s been mentoring a couple of new staff and one in particular is missing her support.”
The conversation changed then but on the drive home Laura had time to ponder her mother’s swift departure again. They’d all been so busy there’d been no time to think too deeply about it but now that tailing was over she’d quiz her dad a bit more. He was the only one who would know what was really going on. There was certainly nothing in her mother’s brief texts to indicate there was anything more happening than two old friends catching up.
Nineteen
Natalie did slow strokes to the deep end of the pool then gripped the edge and hung there a moment. Last night she’d been restless and hadn’t slept well. She’d eaten dinner alone again now that Faye and Dot had gone, but she’d found it too quiet and returned early to her room. She’d watched another movie then started the book Faye had left with her but the lack of company gave her plenty of time to think about other things, like home and her inevitable return. Part of her wanted to go home to her girls if not to Milt but she knew if she did she’d be back in the weird mixed-up mood that she’d left in. She was determined to continue her holiday but where next?
She pushed off from the edge of the pool and began to swim back the other way, passing a man who was doing the same languid lengths of the pool as her, but in the opposite direction. This morning she’d caught the bus to the Courthouse markets where she’d wandered aimlessly through the colourful stalls. She’d enjoyed a mango smoothie, picked out a couple more books from a second-hand stall, bought some soap the colours of a Cable Beach sunset and, at a busy jewellery stall, she’d selected a bracelet for each of the girls sporting a single pearl. The photos of the Staircase to the Moon she’d taken on her phone were a blurry mess so she’d bought a wine bottle cooler with a picture of it as a memento of the spectacular phenomenon she’d enjoyed with Dot and Faye. After that, she’d called at the tourist centre and made enquiries about where to go next then returned to the hotel armed with plenty of suggestions. The Dampier Peninsula was her first choice but she wouldn’t be able to get a seat on a tour there for a few more days and she needed new accommodation from tomorrow night.
She reached the other end of the pool where the cafe deck overhung it and heard the sound of the cocktail shaker. She wondered what Faye and Dot would be doing. Back into their busy lives already, from what she’d gathered. She wasn’t rushing back for that. She’d hardly given school a thought, although she’d sent Paul a text to let him know she would need the extra week away, and her mind had also lingered on a couple of children who she knew would be missing her. Joel in particular didn’t cope well with change and she hoped whoever was replacing her would be able to continue their work on fire and flood with care. Her program was detailed but perhaps Paul would’ve got her replacement to do something else altogether. And she wondered how Eloise was coping. Natalie was sure she had the makings of a valuable teacher, she just needed confidence and time.
“Hello again.”
Natalie stood abruptly in the shoulder-deep water to avoid bumping into the man in front of her. “Sorry, I was miles away.” She went to move around him.
“This is an excellent place, isn’t it?” he said.
She looked more closely at him. Dark-brown eyes watched her steadily from below a balding pate; a moustache etched his upper lip. He could be her age, maybe older.
“Yes, lovely.” She felt uncomfortable under his gaze. She glanced around. There were plenty of people about but she felt very alone.
“Your husband’s not a swimmer?” he said.
Natalie frowned.
“Only I noticed you doing laps yesterday afternoon on your own.”
“Oh.”
“I lurve the freedom of water, don’t you?” He raised one eyebrow. “I’m Bazz, by the way. Maybe I could buy you a drink?”
Natalie made a choking noise as she gasped and swallowed at the same time. Was this guy trying to pick her up? Dear God, she didn’t even know what that looked like any more.
“I’m late actually, Bazz.” She spun away, teetered momentarily in the whirlpool motion of water she’d created then strode to the steps. Not daring to look back, she wrapped herself in a towel, gathered up her things and strode to her room, latching the door firmly behind her.
Once inside she sat for a moment, gobsmacked – firstly because he’d appeared to be chatting her up and second because she’d bolted like a startled rabbit. Why hadn’t she simply told him no thanks to the drink and kept swimming? She looked at her surprised face in the bathroom mirror and laughed. “Bloody Bazz,” she muttered then shuddered as a chill rippled over her. The air conditioning was cold on her damp skin.
She ran a warm shower and stepped in. When she closed her eyes she saw Milt’s face. From the moment she’d first met him he’d been the only man she’d ever wanted. Now when she thought of him she was filled with…She pursed her lips. How did she feel about her husband? Angry? If she really narrowed it down, suspicious too. The trust she’d thought was there…perhaps it had been false? It had been blown away in the face of Jack Halbot’s intrusion in their lives.
Out of the shower and dressed again, Natalie reluctantly decided to pack her bags. Regardless of her destination she needed to leave the hotel the next morning. Her case was empty except for a few items she hadn’t needed, and she was surprised to find, tucked in one of the zipper pockets, The Model Wife. She’d had such a blissful few days she’d not given it a thought.
She tossed it aside on the bed and as if to mock her it flipped open at Chapter Four. The heading leaped out at her – ‘Managing the Home’. She sat on the bed, picked it up and read. The model wife is proud of the home her husband provides for her and to show her respect she should keep it perfectly clean and without clutter. The word should jumped out at her, and she heard Faye’s voice saying don’t let
anyone should you. But she had, hadn’t she. Stuck on the blank page opposite was an old black-and-white photo of the farmhouse. She’d pasted it there not long after Olive had given her the book. She ran her finger over the vast roofline. The kitchen had been updated when the girls were in their teens but it hadn’t been a complete remodel, just replacing outdated items like the oven and the dishwasher. They were almost past their use-by date again. The dishwasher had played up a few times lately and the last time the plumber fixed it he said they’d need to think about replacing it.
How she’d love to give the kitchen a complete makeover. It had been her guilty wish when Olive had announced she wanted to move into town. At last, Natalie had thought, she could make some changes, but it hadn’t happened and lately she didn’t have the energy it would take to renovate. There was enough work just keeping it clean. She did love that house and yet she’d become its employee.
She read the next line in the chapter. Nothing destroys the happiness of married life more than the lazy, slovenly wife. She gave a snort. From the safe distance of another state she could see how she’d adopted that mantra. It was a huge house and she’d kept it as clean and neat as possible, never going out or going to bed until everything was done. Milt had teased her sometimes, saying a few grains of dust or a smear on a window didn’t matter but he’d never understood how much work it took to keep the old house clean. If you let it get away you’d never keep on top of it. Now she thought perhaps he’d been right.
She glanced around her well-appointed hotel room. How easily she’d become used to the indulgence of having someone to clean and tidy up after her. Perhaps if she gave up her teaching she could spend some time doing up the house. The thought was both enchanting and repelling. If she gave up work she knew she truly would become a slave, not only to the house but to the needs of the property.
She skipped down a few lines and stopped at another sentence. It is the model wife’s responsibility to provide her husband a happy home… the single spot of rest which a man has upon this earth for the cultivation of his noblest sensibilities. Hell, she’d done that and what had it all been for? Where was her happy home now? She slapped the stupid book shut. Why was she torturing herself with it again?
The Model Wife Page 24