Kate chewed her lip. She recalled the firm squeeze of her mother’s hand, her knowing look.
“I knew I was pregnant before that.”
Sean frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“It wasn’t much before,” she said quickly. “I hadn’t been feeling well and I went to see my childhood GP. I thought she was going to say I needed a tonic or something and instead she told me I was pregnant.”
“And you didn’t think to ring me with that news?” He looked hurt now.
“Of course I did but you were so far away and my mind was a mess. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Except you could tell your family but not me.”
“I didn’t tell them at first but Dad found me one night. I was miserable, the smell of meat cooking and…well, it all came out and then Bree and Laura knew. I swore them to secrecy though. I was planning on telling you as soon as you got back. I just couldn’t get my head around it. We weren’t going to be parents, Sean. It was all such a shock.”
“How do you feel about it now?”
A lump formed in Kate’s throat. “When I thought I might lose the baby I was even more of a mess. I thought it was because I’d wished it away. I felt so guilty.”
He kissed her softly on the lips. “I don’t think wishing can end a pregnancy, Katie-Q.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t want you so far away driving all that way worrying about me and thinking about a baby and in the end that’s just what’s happened.”
Sean studied her a moment. She could see he was full of questions and he had every right to be.
“I’m sorry, Sean.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He took her hands in his steady, comforting grip. “I know we didn’t plan to be parents. We said no to intervention but nature has made it possible…I won’t pretend I’m not excited at the news of a baby but what about you?”
“I still can’t believe it and if I’m honest I’m not sure how I feel about being a mother but they’ve been helpful here at the hospital.”
He leaned closer and locked his gaze on hers. “So apart from wishing you weren’t pregnant you hadn’t thought about… termination?”
Tears pricked at her eyes. “No.” The guilt she felt when she thought she could lose the baby had been all-consuming. “I’ve talked that through with a counsellor already. She said she’d come back once you were here.”
“We’ll get all the help we can, Katie-Q,” he murmured and wrapped her in his reassuring embrace.
Kate closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks, not with sadness but with hope that things might just work out.
It was dark when Natalie knocked on the apartment door.
“I’m sorry, I forgot to give you a key,” Veronica said as soon as she opened it. “I should get one out now for you before I forget.”
She went off to the kitchen and Natalie followed, her stomach responding to the delicious aroma wafting out to greet her.
“Here you are.” Veronica held out a key.
“It really is good of you to let us stay here.”
“Our pleasure. How is Kate?”
“Looking much brighter when I left. Sean was interstate when it all happened but he’s there now.” Natalie hoped Kate was being honest and open about her feelings with Sean. Her own experience made her worried about her daughter’s mental ability to cope but at least there were doctors and counsellors who could help her if she needed.
“That’s good.”
Natalie glanced at the casserole she could see in the oven. “That smells inviting.”
“It’s lemon chicken. Something simple but just what I felt like. I hope you’ll like it.”
“It’s one of my favourites too.”
“Great.” Veronica nodded for extra emphasis.
They were facing each other over the small table setting, being painfully polite.
“It’ll be another ten minutes or so. Why don’t you sit down?” Veronica brushed a hand over her spotless bench. “I can get you a drink. I don’t have any wine but I think we’ve got brandy in the cupboard. I’ve gone off alcohol. Or there’s orange juice or mineral water.”
“Mineral water’s fine but I can get it myself.”
“That’s okay, you sit down.”
Natalie went back to the lounge and sat in the chair she’d last occupied over five weeks ago. She looked around the tidy room. This time it was comfortably warm. She watched Veronica through the arch as she poured the drinks. She was impeccably dressed as always, with a mustard-coloured cardigan over a white tee and blue jeans, and a leopard print scarf knotted neatly at her neck.
“Here you are.” She handed Natalie a glass, sat on the couch, kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet gracefully beneath her. Her face was perfectly made up and her long blonde hair piled neatly on her head. She was undergoing treatment for cancer and looked as if she’d stepped out of a fashion magazine while Natalie felt like she’d been pulled through a prickle bush backward.
“You’re looking good,” Natalie said. “How do you feel?”
“Surprisingly well. I get tired but I’m not nauseous. Just off food a bit with a funny taste in my mouth. That’s why, when I have a yearning for something, I try to cook it. Bit like when I was pregnant and had all those weird cravings.”
Natalie nodded. She hadn’t ever had cravings. They both sipped their drinks and she searched frantically for something else to talk about. How had it come to this? Sharing an apartment and a meal with the woman she’d tried to avoid for most of her married life.
“When’s Kate due?” Veronica broke the silence.
“End of December.”
“You might have a grandchild for Christmas.” She clapped her hands. “How exciting. I don’t suppose you’ve had a chance to shop for baby things yet?”
“No.” Natalie hadn’t given that a thought.
“I can’t wait to have grandchildren. I don’t imagine Jack will be first. He doesn’t even have a girlfriend. The girls might though, once they come home from their travels…” Her face fell. “I’m sorry. I’m raving on. I might be pushing my luck expecting to see grandchildren.” Tears glistened in her eyes.
Natalie’s heart softened. She moved across and sat on the couch.
“Don’t talk like that. You’re strong.”
“I try to be.”
Natalie lifted an arm, hesitated then put it across Veronica’s shoulders. Immediately she rested her head against Natalie.
“You’ve got a loving family supporting you.” Natalie patted her. “You’ll beat this and you’ll get to enjoy grandchildren.”
“Thanks.” Veronica sucked in a deep breath. “I get a bit overwhelmed by it all every so often.”
“One day at a time.” Natalie was using the same advice she’d given Kate.
“I just need to go home for a while, see Jack and Bob, walk in my garden.”
The oven timer buzzed. Veronica lifted her head then gasped and put her fingers to her lips. Natalie looked down to see what she was staring at. Several strands of golden hair lay on Natalie’s black top.
“They warned me it would happen. I found some this morning on my pillow.” Veronica flicked frantically at Natalie’s shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“There’s more in my brush each time I do my hair. I don’t want to lose it. It’s the one thing I can’t face.”
“Oh, Veronica. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I’m sure you can do it.” Natalie reached around her again and pulled her close. They sat like that a moment longer, then Veronica sniffed into a hanky and shuffled upright.
“There’s lots of time to think over your life when you’re having treatment.” She wiped her eyes and looked at Natalie. “I never apologised to you—”
“There’s no need.” Natalie flapped her hands, not wanting to have this conversation.
“Yes, there is. I’m sorry, Natalie. I cringe when I think of what I
did. I was young and stupid and drunk. I can’t think of any other excuse for what happened. Not that anything much did happen,” she added quickly, her cheeks turning pink.
“It’s past history now,” Natalie said, glad that she and Milt had talked things through or she didn’t know how she’d manage this conversation.
“All those wasted years.”
Natalie frowned.
“We’re neighbours. We could’ve seen more of each other.”
Natalie recalled the photo of their last social tennis day, the smiling faces. “We can’t change the past.”
“I know.” Veronica flopped against the back of the couch and dabbed at her eyes again then a grin tugged at the corners of her lips. “Do you know the reason I gave Bob for not wanting to talk to you? I told him that Olive had been rude to me.” She pressed her fingers to her lips. “Poor Olive.”
“It’s not so hard to imagine,” Natalie said.
Veronica snorted. “She can be outspoken, can’t she? You’re a saint to have lived with her all these years. Anyway, I told Bob you defended her and said some awful things and that I was extremely hurt. He’s such a softie. I felt bad lying to him but I could never tell him the real reason I wanted to avoid you all.” Her eyes widened. “Not even now.”
“He won’t hear it from me.”
“We managed to keep our distance and then over the years it became a habit. Bob and Milt gradually made contact again. Did you know?” Veronica barely paused for breath let alone an answer to her question. “Earlier this year I came home to find them having coffee on the back verandah. Jack was with them. They were talking sheep but it was quite a shock to see them together. Then I felt bad that because of me they’d been denied that friendship.” Veronica’s tears flowed again.
“Milt had a part to play in that too.” Natalie leaned in and put an arm around Veronica. “Maybe we need to follow the men’s lead. Keep the past in the past and move forward.”
“You’re such a good person, Natalie.”
Natalie stared at the sparkling glass coffee table. Was she? Not always – she had her flaws just like everyone else – but she tried to be a good person. She’d worked out there was a difference between that and being a dogsbody and there were things she was going to change.
The strong aroma of the casserole wafted around her. She moved Veronica gently upright.
“That chicken should come out. How about I dish up the food and we eat it on our laps?” she said.
Veronica nodded.
“I don’t suppose there’s anything on TV?”
“We subscribe to something.” Veronica blew her nose and stood up to get the remote.
“Find us something cheerful.”
By the time they were settled back with their food and a comedy show on the TV, Veronica had composed herself again.
Natalie’s stomach gurgled a welcome to the casserole. “This is absolutely delicious, thanks, Vee.”
The other woman looked up from her plate and smiled. “That’s the first time you’ve ever called me Vee. You’ve always called me Veronica, even before…well, anyway, no-one else but my mother calls me that.”
Natalie smiled and tucked into more of Vee’s lemon chicken.
Milt and Bree had gone to bed but Olive and Laura were settled in the den watching another movie from Paul’s collection, Ladies in Black this time. Halfway through the movie Olive had asked Laura to pause it while she went to the toilet and when she came back she had a Cherry Ripe bar in each hand.
“I brought a few supplies with me. And I thought in the morning we could plan the rest of the meals for the week.”
“The week!”
“I know your mother will be home but she’ll want to settle back in, look after Kate. If the meals are organised that’s one less thing to worry about.”
“I suppose.” Laura had imagined her mum would take over the cooking as soon as she returned home.
Olive passed one of the chocolates to Laura and wriggled back in her chair. “This is fun, isn’t it? Just like old times.”
Laura nodded, bit into the soft, rich chocolate and pressed play again. She and her grandmother had often watched TV together, especially on weekends. They were special times. Her sisters were out or away, her parents visiting friends and, not being one to watch movies, Pa would go off to bed. That’s when Granny would bring out her lolly stash. There’d been a better selection on TV back then or if there wasn’t, they’d hire a video and then, when she turned thirteen the family got their first DVD player. The two of them had watched so many movies together through all those changes.
Laura glanced at Granny, who was intent on the screen. She knew they’d discuss the movie once it was finished and even again over breakfast. If it was a musical, Granny would hum the tunes for a week or so after, and she’d catch Laura’s eye and they’d laugh.
She reached out and squeezed Granny’s hand. “Thanks for the chocolate.”
Olive smiled. “You’re welcome.”
Thirty-Six
Two days later Natalie pulled up outside her back gate. She paused for a moment to take in the house and let out a sigh. She was glad to be home. Not all the pieces of her life were back together. She and Milt had finally cleared up the Jack issue but there were others to be worked out. And some of the pieces had fitted back in different ways, like her renewed acquaintance with Veronica. She wouldn’t use the word friend just yet, but they’d made a start.
Bubbles looked up briefly from his chair as Natalie approached the back door.
“So glad to see you too,” she said as he nestled back into the cushion. She couldn’t blame him; it was a freezing cold day.
Her arms were loaded with bags and she cringed and held her breath as she shouldered the wooden door, but there was no bang. She hooked the door with her foot and it swung away from the wall to reveal a rubber stopper. She continued on up the passage, feeling the old house wrap around her in welcome. She placed her bags against the wall, making her first stop the bathroom.
When she came out she heard a thud from the kitchen. Someone was home. She opened the door. Milt was on his hands and knees by the desk with a tape measure stretched out beside him.
“Hello.”
He sat back abruptly, bumped his head on the desk. “Hell’s teeth!”
“What are you doing?” she asked as he lumbered to his feet, rubbing at his head.
“Measuring up for a new desk.”
“What’s wrong with the old one?”
“Not big enough, Bree says.” He held his arms out. “Welcome home, Nat.”
She stepped into his embrace. It had only been two days since he’d left her in Adelaide but it seemed much longer. Kate had been discharged the morning Veronica went home and they’d gone back to the apartment. Sean had spent the day in the city doing some jobs for the family business and Natalie had kept a watchful eye on her daughter, tempting her with food, keeping her amused so she’d rest. The following day she’d gone out and given them space. She’d spent nearly all day at Burnside shopping centre where she’d wandered, lunched and shopped. She’d had no idea how much stuff you could buy for babies these days and hadn’t been able to resist selecting a few basic clothing items and a couple of soft toys. She hadn’t shown Kate and Sean her purchases. Last night she’d cooked the two of them dinner then this morning she’d driven home.
“How’s Kate?” Milt asked as they pulled apart.
“Doing well. Better since Sean arrived. They’re staying one more night in Adelaide then they’ll come here tomorrow before they go on home.”
“Is she up to that?”
“Physically, the doctor says yes. The mental stuff, we’ll have to see, but they’ve organised an appointment for her with someone closer to home.”
Natalie pulled her sleeves lower and shut the kitchen door to block the cold air from the passage; she was still adjusting to being back in winter. She glanced around the room. Everything was neat and tidy and something was br
ewing in the slow cooker. Her gaze rested on a vase of gerberas in the centre of the table. She bent over them.
“What a beautiful combination of pinks.”
“Laura bought them.”
She smiled. “I see someone’s weeded my patch.” She’d noticed as she’d come in the yard.
“I did.”
“Thanks.” That was something he’d never done before.
“Where’re the girls?”
“Bree’s out checking troughs and Laura’s gone with Mum into town to do some shopping.”
“Was Olive here?”
“She’s been staying the last couple of nights, helping Laura with the cooking. They’ve been thick as thieves. You made good time. We didn’t expect you till lunch.” He crossed to the coffee machine. “Would you like a cup?”
“I’d love one.” Natalie watched as he set the machine in motion. “I don’t think I’ve seen you do that before.”
“Just because you haven’t seen me doesn’t mean I don’t know how.” He brought the coffee to her. “I had one a while ago.”
He rubbed his hands together and put more wood on the fire. The kitchen door popped open and he shoved it shut. “I did try to fix that while you were away.”
“I see you’ve done the back-door stopper.”
He nodded.
“And there’re hooks and a shelf in the bathroom.”
“Something I should have done years ago.” He was inspecting the desk again.
“And what did you say you were doing there?”
“While you were away Bree and Kate did the BAS and they both complained about the cold up in the dining room. Bree thought we could make this corner of the kitchen into a proper office, get a bigger desk, move the computer. And in the summer it’s cooler here with the aircon.”
“Great idea.” Natalie took a sip of coffee.
Milt looked back at her, hands on hips. “Do you know what they discovered while they were going through statements?” She shook her head, more interested in the fact that the girls had done the BAS. She’d be making sure Bree kept that up. There’d been talk of shifting the office years ago but nothing had come of it. Perhaps she should go away more often but she wasn’t going to say that out loud. “We hadn’t stopped the payments going into Mum and Dad’s joint account.”
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