Then he crossed his arms on his chest, turned his glare in Mitch’s direction and grunted, “Yeah.”
Chapter Five
A Strong Hand to Hold Onto
I didn’t want to have to ask. I really didn’t want to have to ask but there was a waiting list at Lola’s. They said fifteen minutes and I had to ask.
Mitch was standing at the hostess station. I got as close to him as I dared, went up on my toes and with my mouth near his ear I whispered, “Can you do me a favor and look after Billie while I take Billy outside for a chat?”
His neck twisted, his eyes leaving the hostess who was staring at him like she wanted to pounce which was probably how most women stared at him (including me). I’d only ever been in public with him this once. I wasn’t looking forward to it and that was one of the many reasons. He tipped his head down and his eyes caught mine. Then they scanned my face. Then he nodded once.
“Thanks,” I murmured, moved away and looked down at Billie. “You stay with Mitch. Billy and I are going outside for a sec.”
“Okay,” she agreed readily, skipped to Mitch immediately and grasped his hand.
I watched with utter fascination as his big, strong, attractive hand closed around her little girl’s hand without even an instant’s delay. Then my eyes lifted to his as I felt something warm slide through my insides.
His eyes caught mine and when they did they went warm like I felt inside right before he gave a gentle jerk of his head to the door, prompting me to do what I needed to do.
I nodded, tore my eyes from him, shoved the warmth resolutely aside and looked down at Billy.
“Got a second to talk, buddy?” I asked.
Billy was glaring at Mitch. He kept glaring at Mitch even as he approached me and grabbed my hand. This surprised me. He hadn’t grabbed my hand in a while. He looked away from Mitch to tug me down the ramp that led to the front door. When we were outside, I took over the lead and we went to a bench. I climbed up it so I was sitting on the back, my feet on the seat and Billy climbed up too and settled in beside me.
“Talk to me,” I encouraged gently.
“Dad’s a dick,” Billy replied.
I closed my eyes. This was true but nine year olds shouldn’t talk like this. Sure, with their friends they could be naughty but not with adults and not so casually. Billy talked like this because Bill didn’t rebuke him. In fact, Bill egged it on because he thought it was funny.
“Billy, buddy, do me a favor, don’t say that word,” I said softly.
“You know he’s one, Auntie Mara,” Billy returned and he was right.
“What did he do now?” I asked and looked at my little cousin to see his eyes were pointed angrily at the road in front of us. His jaw was set.
“He’s still got that guy comin’ over all the time and I don’t like him. He’s a creep. And I don’t like him around Billie. He’s sugar sweet to her and it freaks me out. Gives her candy. Tells her she’s pretty. It’s weird.”
Billy had been telling me about “that guy” for a while and Billy had good instincts so I figured whoever “that guy” was, he wasn’t a good guy.
Billy kept talking. “And we didn’t have any food. And he was passed out. And he didn’t have any money in the whole house so I could go get us something to eat. Billie was hungry.” His eyes turned to mine. “We have to eat.”
“Like we talked about last time, you don’t have food, you need something or you get freaked out, you call me,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, right, I’ll call you but on what phone? His cell didn’t have any charge and he hasn’t paid the bill so even if it did, it wouldn’t work. And they turned off the house phone months ago. You know that.”
Shit. I did. Damn. I knew about the house phone, though it was news about Bill’s cell.
Damn again.
“I’ll get you a cell phone,” I told him. “You can hide it and –”
He straightened, looked me right in the eye and I braced for what he was going to say next because he had that look about him that always made me brace. “Auntie Mara, Dad steals from us. You know that locket you gave Billie for her birthday last month?”
Oh no.
He read my face and nodded. “It’s gone. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d be upset but it was gone like the next day. Dad convinced Billie she lost it and she cried for like an hour. She loved that thing. Said it was the prettiest thing she had.”
It was the prettiest thing she had. Bill barely kept the kids clothed. All the clothes they were wearing, including their shoes, I bought them before school started months ago. And I had noticed both of them were growing out of them.
I clenched my teeth and looked away.
“He stole it,” Billy went on, “because he’s a big dick.”
I looked back at him. “Billy –”
He suddenly and uncharacteristically lost it, slammed his fists into his knees and shouted, “He is!”
My heart started beating wildly, my eyes filled with tears I blinked away and I lifted my hand to curl it around the back of his head.
I knew how he felt. God. I knew exactly how he felt. I hadn’t felt it in a long time but if you knew that feeling, you never forgot it.
I knew that feeling. It lived in me.
I pulled him to me as I bent to him and rested our foreheads together. Shockingly, he let me do this but I figured he did because he was suddenly breathing heavy and concentrating on fighting it.
“Billy, honey,” I whispered.
“I hate him, Auntie Mara,” Billy whispered back. I heard his breath hitch and I understood the breathing heavy. He was close to tears.
“I know.” I was still whispering.
And I did know.
“I hate him,” he said quietly and passionately while his breath hitched again.
Oh God. God, God, God.
I knew what I had to do.
God!
“You know I love you?” I asked him.
His eyes slid away. He pushed against my hand at his head. I let him move away but I wrapped my arm around him anyway; slid him across the back of the bench so the side of his body was pressed against mine. Shockingly, he didn’t fight this either and leaned into me.
“I know,” he replied.
“And you know I love your sister?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. His eyes were again on the street and he just nodded.
I looked to the street and made my decision.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do, honey,” I said softly on a squeeze. “But I’m going to try to figure out something. I promise you. Do you believe me?”
I looked down at him and he nodded again.
“You’re going to have to give me time, okay? In the meantime, I’m going to buy you a cell and I’m going to go to the grocery store tomorrow after work to get you guys some food. And I’m going to give you some emergency money. You’ve got to find a good hiding place for the phone and money. But if he gets it, don’t worry about it, okay? Just tell me the next time you see me and we’ll try again. Okay?”
He nodded and whispered, “Yeah, okay.”
“And Mitch is a police detective. I’m going to talk to him and see what my options are.”
Billy’s head shot up, he looked at me and for the first time in the short time he knew Mitch his eyes lit with a positive light.
“That guy’s a cop?”
I nodded. “Unh-hunh. He’ll know who I need to talk to.”
“Will he help us?” Billy asked and my heart clenched as I looked into his hopeful yet sad and defeated eyes, like he wanted desperately for me to say yes but expected me to say no. I found this odd, I found it disturbing and I also found it heart wrenching.
“That’s what he does, buddy,” I told him. “He does it for a living, helping people, protecting them, keeping them safe. He’ll help you and Billie and he’ll help me help you. I’m certain of it.”
I gave him another squeeze to allay his fears an
d to hide the fact that I really didn’t want to ask for Mitch’s help. But I had no choice. Billy and Billie had no one but Bill. Bill’s sister was a mess and living her own dysfunction back in Iowa. Bill’s Mom was arguably crazier and meaner than mine and she didn’t do a great job raising Bill and his sister, she’d suck at raising Billy and Billie.
It was only me. And me it was going to be.
“Can we stay with you tonight?” Billy asked.
I pulled in breath and nodded.
Apparently, I was going to need to get a different apartment, one with three bedrooms rather than two. A lot of things were going to need to change.
“We need to stop by your house to get your stuff and tell your Dad, though,” I informed him.
“He won’t even know we’re gone,” Billy replied.
This was probably true.
“We still have to do it,” I replied. Billy’s face got hard and I gave him another squeeze before I let him go and bumped his side with my own, smiled at him and stated, “At least to go get your stuff. You can’t go to school tomorrow wearing the same clothes.”
“We got nothin’ clean,” Billy told me.
My teeth clenched again.
Then I forced myself to smile before I said, “Lucky I have a washer and dryer at my house.”
“Right,” Billy muttered then he smiled back.
I felt him before I saw him but not fast enough. His hand still holding Billie’s, who was skipping in place by his side, Mitch was right behind us and Billy and I both twisted. I looked up at the same time Mitch’s hand swept my ponytail to the side. That hand rested warm and strong at the back of my neck in a familiar and intimate way which was a complete shock. A shock I liked way too much but freaked me out even more.
“Table’s ready,” he told me.
“Burritos!” Billie shouted.
“Awesome,” Billy muttered, jumped down and raced around the bench.
I was frozen in place. Mitch’s hand hadn’t moved even as Billie let his other one go and raced up to and through the front doors with her brother.
“What’s the story?” Mitch asked, his eyes tipped down to me.
“I need to figure out how to get custody of my second cousins,” I answered and watched his eyes flash.
“That bad?” he murmured.
“They’ve had nothing to eat all day. There’s no food in the house. Their father was passed out. He had no money. They couldn’t call me because they have no phone. And Bill stole the gold locket I bought Billie for her birthday a day after I gave it to her,” I told him, watched his eyes flash again as his hand tightened at my neck and I kept talking. “And there’s a mysterious man who visits the house that freaks Billy out.”
Mitch’s gaze didn’t leave mine as he muttered, “Fuck.”
I nodded then went on, “Billy hates him. A lot. I don’t know how bad it has to get but that’s bad enough for me.”
He took his hand from my neck, I missed it even though I didn’t want to but I didn’t have to miss it long. He leaned forward and rested his weight in his hand on the back of the bench which brought the rest of his torso and definitely his face close to me.
When his eyes locked back on mine, he asked quietly, “You need me to help?”
There it was; the offer I needed. An offer that terrified me but I had no choice but to take it.
“Since I don’t know the system and you do and I love those kids and I need to get them away from that mess, yes. Any advice you can give me would be appreciated,” I answered and I did it fast before I lost the courage to do it at all.
His eyes kept mine captive but they changed. I couldn’t put my finger on how but however it was made a whoosh sweep through my belly.
“I can do more than advice, sweetheart,” he said, still talking quietly.
“Whatever you could do, Mitch, like I said, would be appreciated.”
His eyes moved over my face then when they caught mine again, he noted, “You care about them.”
“I love them.”
“Family?” he asked probingly.
“They’re great kids,” I answered telling him it was much more than blood ties.
“They love you,” he said softly.
“I know,” I replied just as soft.
“You’ve struggled with this awhile,” he surmised.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
He stayed leaned into his one hand, his other hand came up to curl around the side of my neck and his thumb swept my jaw as he said, “Makin’ the decision is half the battle, sweetheart.”
I sucked in breath through my nose, pulled my lips between my teeth and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I’d slid them away so I wasn’t looking at him.
I did this so I could admit, “If that’s true, then why am I scared to death of what’s to come?”
“’Cause it might get ugly. ‘Cause any change in life is scary. ‘Cause you avoid risk like the plague and this is a big one that’s gonna have a long-lasting effect on three lives. And ‘cause you’re not stupid.”
My eyes went back to his and I remarked, “Don’t sugarcoat it, Mitch. Give it to me straight.”
He chuckled and his fingers curled deeper into my neck before he said, “You’re gonna be all right, Mara, and they’re gonna be all right which is why you’re doin’ this in the first place. You gotta believe in that.”
“Right,” I muttered, my eyes sliding away again.
I got a squeeze at the neck and my eyes went back.
“Right,” he whispered.
He was looking at me with his serious, firm face but his eyes were warm and it hit me that it wasn’t the same friendly neighbor warmth but something deeper. Something more important. Almost like he respected me. Like he was proud of me.
My breath caught then the warmth in his gaze shifted to something else. His fingers pressed into my neck bringing my face closer to his as his moved closer to mine and that was when we both heard Billie yell, “Sillies! What are you doing? It’s time for burritos!”
Mitch closed his eyes slowly as his fingers flexed into my neck.
I pulled free quickly, jumped off the bench, told myself I was being silly and rounded the bench to get myself and my soon to be legal charges (hopefully) some food.
I didn’t make it to the door without Mitch catching my hand. It was silly to let him keep hold of it as we walked in, walked up the ramp, by the hostess station and to our table but I let him keep hold of it. First because his hold was strong and firm and it would take some effort to get my hand away. And second, and most important, because I’d just made a life-altering decision that was going to have a long-lasting effect on three lives, it scared the living daylights out of me and I needed a strong hand to hold onto.
* * * * *
It happened after the three course meal Mitch bought us.
It was after Billy had melted toward Mitch and they were thumb wrestling across the table. Billy was laughing which was something I hadn’t seen in a good long while. And Mitch was smiling at him like he knew it was something the boy didn’t do often and he liked it a lot that he was doing it now.
Mitch and I were side by side on a booth bench, the kids sat across from us on seats while we were eating. But now that we were done, Billie had left her seat to crawl in close to me, wrap herself around me, play with my ponytail and whisper girlie stuff to me.
It was at this time, after Mitch had asked for the bill and we were waiting for it, that the elderly woman walked to our table.
Mitch’s head turned and tipped back to look at her and when his did, so did Billy’s. I twisted my neck to look at her as well and Billie pressed deep to look around me so she could see her too.
But the woman only had eyes for me.
“Sorry to disturb you but I just wanted to say, you have the most beautiful family I’ve ever seen.” My heart stopped, she smiled big, touched Billy’s hair, a Billy who was staring up at her with his mouth wide open and then she looked back at me. �
��Kids are usually grouchy, everyone’s always snappy, fighting, loud, kids racing around. It’s nice to see a polite, happy, beautiful family for once.” She nodded to me and finished, “Keep up the good work.”
“Uh…” I mumbled.
“Thanks.” Mitch’s deep voice sounded.
She smiled at Mitch then Billie then Billy. She nodded to me again, turned and walked away.
I blinked repeatedly at her departing back.
“She was nice!” Billie declared exuberantly and my head turned to look at her smiling face.
“Yeah, baby, a very nice lady.”
“I’ve never been part of a beautiful family,” Billie stated.
I stared at her, my heart wrenched, my head turned again and I caught Mitch’s eyes just as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. He pulled me into his side and since Billie was in my arms she came with me.
Mitch leaned into us both so his face was close to Billie’s before he advised, “Live it up, gorgeous.”
“Yippee!” Billie cried.
“Hush, honey, that’s a little loud,” I whispered to her.
“I can’t live it up quiet,” she whispered loudly and logically back to me.
“She’s got you there, sweetheart,” Mitch murmured, gave my shoulders a squeeze and then turned to the waitress who was there with our bill.
I scooted a bit away and sucked in breath. Then I let it out. For the next few minutes I allowed myself to pretend this table with Billy, Billie and Mitch was me and my beautiful family. Something I never had. Something I always wanted. Something that wasn’t for the likes of me.
Then we left the restaurant to go deal with Bill.
Chapter Six
Butterflies and Flowers
My alarm went off. I opened my eyes and saw it was an hour and a half earlier than it was normally set to go off. I blinked at it and then I remembered.
I reached out a hand to turn it off and rolled carefully.
Billie was dead asleep next to me, sprawled out on my bed, the fingers of her right hand clutching a new, little, fluffy pink teddy bear. She was sprawled yet she was so small she didn’t take up much of the bed. And she was also apparently oblivious to alarm clocks.
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