The Little Brown Jug at Kildare

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The Little Brown Jug at Kildare Page 20

by Meredith Nicholson


  CHAPTER XX

  ROSAE MUNDI

  Mrs. Atchison and Ardmore had given their last touches to thepreparations for the dinner. Every window of the great house shone and amyriad of lanterns illuminated the lawns and terraces. The flags ofNorth and South Carolina were everywhere entwined; nor were the starsand stripes neglected. They surveyed the long table in the dining-room,where gold and silver and crystal were bright upon the snowy napery.

  "The matter of precedence is serious, Tommy," urged Mrs. Atchison. "Ican not for the life of me remember what two monarchs do about enteringa room at the same time."

  "Nor do I, Nellie," said Ardmore; "unless they sprint for the door andthe one who gets through first takes the head of the table. Still, thatwould be undignified, particularly if the kings were old and fat, and ifthey bumped going through the door and took a header it would jar thedivine right."

  "Here in democratic America," said Griswold, joining them, "there canbe no such preposterous idea of precedence."

  "I should think better of that notion, Professor Griswold," laughed Mrs.Atchison, "if I had never seen the goats carefully shepherded to keepthem away from the lambs at functions in Washington. Democracy may be apolitical triumph, but it is certainly deficient socially. Personally Ihave always wished to bring myself in touch with the poor. Ardy is quiteright that our own kind are distinctly uninteresting."

  "You ought to remember, Nellie, that your idea of going slumming in apurple coupe and dressed up in your best rags is not well calculated toinspire confidence and affection among the submerged. But how to handletwo governors has me fussed. You are the hostess, and it's for you todecide which excellency shall take you in. I see no way out but to matchfor it."

  "That will be unnecessary," said Mrs. Atchison, "for the doors and thehall are broad enough for a dozen governors to march in abreast."

  "That would never do, Nellie! You don't understand these things. Youcan't hitch up a brace of American governors in a team and drive themlike a pair of horses. At least, speaking for the Old North State, Iwill say that we can never consent to any such compromise."

  "And I, speaking for the great Palmetto Commonwealth, not lessemphatically reject the idea!" declared Griswold.

  "Then," said Mrs. Atchison, "there is only one possible solution. Whenthe rest of us have entered the dining-room and taken our places, abugle will sound; the governor of North Carolina shall enter from thenorth door; the governor of South Carolina from the south door, andadvance to seats facing each other midway of the table. ProfessorGriswold, you are an old friend of the family, and you shall yourselftake me in to dinner."

  The members of Mrs. Atchison's house party, well distributed among theofficial guests, were still somewhat at a loss to know what hadhappened, but it seemed to be in the air that Tommy Ardmore had at lastdone something, though just what was not wholly clear. It wassufficiently obvious, however, that the little girl with blue eyes whohad the drollest possible way of talking, and whom one never seemed ableto take off guard, had seized strong hold upon the master of Ardsley;and she, on her part, treated him with the most provokingcondescension. It was agreed by all that Miss Osborne was distinguishedand lovely and that Professor Griswold did not seem out of place at herside.

  The talk grew general after the first restraint was over, and Mrs.Atchison dropped just the right word here and there to keep the ballrolling. Governor Osborne had generously forgotten and forgiven hispainful incarceration in the corn-crib, and he and Governor Dangerfieldvied with each other in avowing their determination to live up to thehigh standards that had been set for them by their daughters.

  Both governors had at almost the same moment turned down their glasses.It even seemed that they had been drilled in the part, so dexterous werethey in reversing them, so nimbly did they put from them the hope ofwine. The members of the house-party noted this act of the two governorswith well-bred surprise; and Ardmore was grieved, feeling that in somemeasure the illustrious guests were criticizing his hospitality. Thebutler at this moment spoke to him, and much relieved he smiled andnodded. A moment later two jugs, two little brown jugs, were carried in,and one was placed quietly in front of each governor at precisely thesame moment. Expectation was instantly a-tiptoe.

  "Gentlemen," said Ardmore, addressing the governors, "these jugs havejust been left at the house by our old friend, Mr. Bill Appleweight,_alias_ Poteet, with his compliments, for the governors of the twogreatest states in the Union. I note that there's a bit of pink calicoaround the stopper of Governor Dangerfield's jug, while GovernorOsborne's is garnished with blue and white gingham."

  Governor Osborne rose.

  "In politics," he began, resting his hand gently on the jug, "it wouldbe a fine thing if we could all live up to our noblest ideals, butunfortunately we must be all things to all men. What I have here is notmerely the testimonial of a valued constituent, but something muchsubtler than that, ladies and gentlemen--a delicate proof that those ofus who would command the good-will and suffrages of the people must keepa careful eye on the weather-vane. This jug, which you probably allbelieve contains the rude product of some hidden still, is as equivocalas a political platform. I will illustrate my meaning."

  All eyes were bent upon the governor of South Carolina as he picked upthe jug, twisted the cob stopper for a moment, and then poured into atumbler which the butler placed for him, a clear white fluid; then,turning the stopper slightly, he poured into another glass a thickmilk-like liquid.

  "When among my constituents I almost invariably call for a gourd fordrinking purposes in preference to a tumbler; but in this company Ishall abandon a custom of the plain people and yield to the habits ofthe sons of Mammon. I am here, I take it, once more in my officialcapacity as governor of South Carolina, and as I am not one to offendthe best sentiments of my people, I pledge you, my friends, not in theuntaxed corn whisky of Appleweight's private still, but in the excellentand foamy buttermilk of Mrs. Appleweight's homely churn."

  As he concluded, Governor Dangerfield rose and performed exactly thesame solemn rite with the jug before him, pouring whisky into one glass,buttermilk into the other, and leaning across the table he touched histumbler of buttermilk to that extended by Governor Osborne. When theapplause that greeted this exchange of courtesies had subsided, GovernorDangerfield was still standing, and in a quiet conversational tone, andwith a manner engagingly frank, he said:

  "Before it seemed expedient to follow the reform bandwagon, I heldcertain principles touching the drinking habit. But the American barhas destroyed drinking as a fine art, and it has now become a vulgarhabit. In the good old times no gentleman ever jumped at his liquor. Hetook it with a casual air, even with a sanctifying reluctance. The ideaof rushing into a public place and gulping your liquor is repugnant tothe most primary of the instincts that govern gentlemen. To precipitatea gill of applejack into that most delicate organism, the human stomach,without the slightest warning, is an insult to the human body,--ay,more, it is an outrage upon man's very soul. The aim of liquor, ladiesand gentlemen, is to stay and lift the spirit, not to degrade it.Drinking at proper intervals ceased to be respectable at a fixed date inhuman progress--to be exact, at the moment when it was no longer a mereincident of personal or social recreation but had become a sociologicaland political issue, staggering drunkenly under a weary burden of mostpainful statistics."

  "You are eminently right, Governor Dangerfield," said the governor ofSouth Carolina, helping himself to the salted almonds; "but you haveused a phrase which piques my curiosity. Will you kindly enlighten us asto how you interpret proper intervals?"

  "With greatest pleasure," responded Governor Dangerfield. "I remember,as though it were yesterday, my venerable grandfather saying that nogentleman should ever approach the sideboard oftener than once beforebreakfast, and he was himself a very early riser. I discount this,however, because he always slept with a jug of Cuban rum--the annualoffering of a West Indian friend--easily within his reach at the head ofhis bed. It was hi
s practice for years to sip a little rum and waterwhile he shaved. He was a gentleman if ever I knew one and as I lookupon him as a standard authority in all matters of deportment andmorals, I may safely cite him further in answer to your question.

  "During the long open season in our country my grandfather constantlyrode over the plantation in immaculate white duck followed by a darky ona mule carrying a basket. On our ancestral estate there were manysprings giving the purest and coldest of water, and these wereprovidentially scattered at the most convenient intervals for mygrandfather's comfort. And as a slight return to nature for what she haddone for him in this particular, my grandfather, in his early youth, hadplanted mint around all these springs. I need hardly point out theadvantages of this happiest of combinations--a spring of clear, icywater; the pungent bouquet of lush mint; the ample basket home by afaithful negro, and my grandfather, in his white duck suit and a Panamahat a yard wide, seated by the mossy spring, selecting with the mostdelicate care the worthiest of the fragrant leaves.

  "Now"--and Governor Dangerfield smiled--"I can see that you are all busyguessing at the number of stops made by my grandfather in the course ofa day, and I hasten to satisfy your curiosity. My grandfather alwaysstarted out at six o'clock in the morning, and the springs were soarranged that he had to make six stops before noon, and four in theafternoon; but at five o'clock, when he reached home all fagged out by ahard day's work and sorely needing refreshment, a pitcher of cherrybounce was waiting for him on the west gallery of the house. After thathe took nothing but a night-cap on retiring for the night. To my friend,the governor of South Carolina, I need offer no apologies for mygrandfather, once a senator in Congress, and a man distinguished for hissobriety and probity. He was an upright man and a gentleman, and died atninety-two, full of years and honors, and complaining, almost with hislast breath, of a distressing dusty feeling in the throat."

  When, as time passed, it seemed that every one had told a story or madea speech, it was Ardmore's inspiration that Griswold should sing a song.The associate professor of admiralty in the University of Virginia hadalready pledged the loyalty of his state to her neighbors and twinsisters, the Carolinas, and Barbara, who wore a great bunch of her ownwhite roses, had listened to him with a new respect and interest, for hespoke well, with the special grace of speech that men of his state have,and with little turns of humor that kept the table bubbling merrily.

  "I shall comply with your request, my friends, if you can bear with thepoor voice of one long out of tune, and if our host still has in thehouse a certain ancient guitar I remember from old times. But I mustimpose one condition, that I shall not again in this place be called bymy academic title. I have known wars and the shock of battle along theRaccoon"--here his hand went to his lips in the gesture that had sooften distressed Ardmore--"and I have known briefly the joy of amilitary title. Miss Osborne conferred on me in an emergency the nobletitle of major, and by it I demand hereafter to be known."

  The governor of South Carolina was promptly upon his feet.

  "Henry Maine Griswold," he said in his most official manner, "I herebyappoint you a major on my staff with all the rights, privileges andembarrassments thereunto belonging, and you shall to-morrow attend mepersonally in my inspection of our troops in the field."

  As the guitar was placed in Griswold's hands, Ardmore caused all thelights to be turned out save those on the table. In the soft candle-glowArdmore bent his face upon Jerry, who had been merrily chaffing him atintervals, but who feigned at other times an utter ignorance of hispresence on earth. As Griswold's voice rose in the mellow dusk it seemedto Ardmore that the song spoke things he could not, like his friend, putinto utterance, and something fine and sweet and hallowed--that sweetsabbath of the soul that comes with first love--possessed him, and heceased looking at Jerry, but bent his head and was lost in dreams. Forthe song and the voice were both beyond what the company had expected.It was an old air that Griswold sang, and it gave charm to his words,which were those of a man who loves deeply and who dares speak them tothe woman he loves. They rose and fell in happy cadences, and every wordrang clear. In the longer lines of the song there was a quickening oftime that carried the sense of passion, and Griswold lifted his headwhen he uttered them and let them cry out of him.

  One of Barbara's white roses had fallen into her lap and she played withit idly; but after the first verse it slipped from her fingers and shefolded her arms on the table and bent her gaze on the quiet flame of thecandle before her. And this was the song that Griswold sang:

  Fair winds and golden suns Down the year's dim aisles of gray depart; But you are the dear white rose of the world That I hide in my heart.

  Last leaves, and the first wild snow, And the earth through an iron void is whirled; But safe from the tempest abide in my heart, O dear white rose of the world!

  Blithe air and flashing wing, And awakened sap that thrills and flows; But hid from the riot, and haste of the spring Sleeps one white rose.

  O scattered leaves of days! O low-voiced glories that fade and depart! But changeless and dear through the changing year Blooms one white rose in my heart.

  The last words hung tremulously, tenderly, on the air, and left a spellupon the company that no one seemed anxious to break; then there waslong applause and cries of encore; but Ardmore, who knew that hisfriend had been greatly moved, drew attention away from him to Collins,who had just entered the room.

  The correspondent had been called away shortly before from the table,and he wore the serious air of one heavy with news.

  "I beg to report that I have just completed a treaty with thejournalists assembled in the cellar."

  "I hope, Mr. Collins, that the journalists' convention below stairsrealized that the lobster we sent them for supper was not canned, andthat the mushrooms were creamed for their refreshment by Mrs. Atchison'sspecial command. It is not for us to trifle with the dignity of thepress," said Jerry.

  "The reputations of two governors and of two states are in their hands,"said the governor of South Carolina, with feeling. "It would be adistressing end of my public services if the truth of all these mattersshould be known. The fact that Governor Dangerfield and I had merelywithdrawn from public life for a little quiet poker in the country wouldsound like the grossest immorality to my exacting constituency."

  "Both yourself and Governor Dangerfield will be relieved to know thatthey have accepted my terms and all is well," responded Collins. "Theywill tell the waiting world that you have both been the guests of Mr.Ardmore, and that the troops assembled on the Raccoon are merely attheir usual summer maneuvers. As for Appleweight, it has seemedexpedient that he should be dead, and the man who has been called bythat name of late is only an impostor seeking a little cheap notoriety.The boys are very sick of the cellar, and they would do even more thanthis to get away."

  "Mr. Collins," said Governor Dangerfield, rising, "your great meritsshall not go unrewarded. I have carelessly neglected to appoint adelegate from North Carolina to the annual conference of the SupremeLodge of the Society of American Liars shortly to meet at Lake Placid,New York. As a slight testimonial of my confidence and admiration, Ihereby appoint you to represent the Old North State at that meeting, andyour expenses shall be paid from the public purse."

  "The boys wish to see your excellencies before they leave," said Collinswhen he had acknowledged the governor's compliment; and as he spoke thesound of great cheering broke through the windows, and Mrs. Atchisonpromptly rose and led the way to the broad terraces which were now gaywith colored lanterns.

  "Speech! Speech!" cried the corps of correspondents. Then Ardmoreseized Governor Osborne's hand and led him forward to the balustrade;but before the governor of South Carolina could speak the group ofnewspaper men began chanting, in the manner of a college antiphonal:

  What did he say to you? What did he say to you? _What did who say?_ What did the governor of North C
arolina SAY To the governor of South Carolina?

  "Gentlemen," began Governor Osborne, speaking with great deliberation,"I am profoundly touched by the cordiality of your greeting. (Applause.)Amid the perplexities of my official life I am deeply sensible always ofthe consideration and generosity of our free and untrammeled Americanpress. (Cheers.) Without your support and approval, my best aims, mysincerest endeavors in behalf of the people, must fall short and fail oftheir purpose. (A voice: You're dead right about that.) I am proud ofthis opportunity to greet this most complimentary delegation of mendistinguished in the noble profession of which Greeley, Raymond and Danawere the high ornaments. (Cheers.) I look into your upturned faces asinto the faces of old friends. But I dare not--(A voice: Oh, don't beafraid, Governor!)--I dare not take too personally this expression ofyour good-will. It is not myself but the great state of South Carolinathat you honor, and on behalf of mine own people, who have always stoodsturdily for the great principles of the constitution; (Cheers) who havefailed in no hour of the country's need, but have tilled their fields inpeace and defended them in the dark days of war, I thank you, myfriends, with all my heart, again and again." (Applause and cheers.)

  What did you say to him? What did you say to him? _What did who say?_ What did the governor of North Carolina SAY To the governor of South Carolina?

  "On an occasion so purely social as this," began Governor Dangerfield,balancing himself lightly upon the balustrade, "it would be mostindelicate for me to discuss any of the great issues of the day. (Avoice: Oh, I don't know!) I indorse, with all the strength of my being,and with all the sincerity of which my heart is capable, the stirringtribute paid to your noble profession by my friend, known far and near,and justly known, as the great reform governor of South Carolina.(Cheers.) I am proud that the American press is incorruptible. (Cheers.)Great commercial nation though we be, the American newspaper--theAmerican newspaper, I say, is one thing that is never for sale.(Applause and cheers.) The temptation is strong upon me to takeadvantage of this gathering of representative journalists to speak--notof the fathers of the constitution, not of Jefferson or Jackson, but ofliving men and living issues (Cheers and cries of Let 'er go!); but thehour is late (A voice: Oh, not on Broadway, William!) and, to repeat, itwould be the height of impropriety--a betrayal of the bountifulhospitality we have all enjoyed (A voice: Our lobster was all right.Another voice, with ironical inflection; _This_ lobster is all right!),a betrayal, I say, of hospitality for me to do more, gentlemen, than tothank you, and to say that in your strong hands the liberties of thepeople are safe indeed." (Prolonged cheering.)

  As the correspondents marched away to take the special train providedfor them at Kildare by Ardmore, they continued to cheer, and they werestill demanding, as long as their cries could be heard at Ardsley:

  What did he say to him? What did he say to him? _What did who say?_ What did the governor of North Carolina SAY To the governor of South Carolina?

  With a sigh Ardmore left them at the great gates of Ardsley and returnedto the house to find Jerry; but that young woman was the center of awide circle of admiring militia officers, and the master of Ardsley wasso depressed by the spectacle that he sought a dim corner of the groundswhere there was a stone bench by a fountain, and there, to hisconfusion, he beheld Miss Barbara Osborne and Henry Maine Griswold; andMiss Osborne, it seemed, was in the act of fastening a white rose inProfessor Griswold's coat.

 

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