by K. A. Ware
I shuddered. “Ma, come on. We talked about this, don’t say shit like that to me.”
Chuckling at my discomfort, she leaned in, her face suddenly becoming mischievous. “So, you’re meeting the family, huh?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s just dinner with her sister, no big deal.”
She gave me a look that said we were far from done. “Where are her parents?”
“What is this, a damn interrogation?” I asked, rubbing at the sudden tension on my neck. It had been fun screwing around with Rabbit when she came to get her car the day before, but having an honest conversation with my mother about our pseudo-relationship was beyond uncomfortable.
“Watch your tone and answer the fucking question, Micah.”
I guess Karma really is a bitch.
“Her dad passed away when she was younger, and she doesn’t keep in touch with her mom.” I refused to give more than the bare minimum. It had taken forever for Rabbit to give me what little information she had. I didn’t feel like sharing.
“Any other siblings?”
I sighed, giving in to her relentless questioning. “No, just her and her sister, why?”
“If it’s just her and her sister, you’re meeting the family genius.”
I hadn’t thought of it like that.
She snapped her fingers and pointed at me. “You should invite her to the cookout next weekend, her sister too.”
“She probably has to work,” I hedged. I was just getting Rabbit comfortable with me. I didn’t want to sic the whole club on her at once, even if it was a family party.
She didn’t say anything, just leveled me with the cold stare she used to give my sister and me when we were kids and misbehaving.
“Fine, I’ll ask, are we done?”
She rolled her lips between her teeth trying to contain her smile. “Sure.”
I leaned over the counter to kiss my mother’s cheek and turned for the door. She meant well, but mom was nosey as fuck.
“Hey, Micah?” she called, just as I stepped over the threshold.
Damn it, so close.
“Yeah?” I asked, looking back at her.
“I like this one, don’t fuck it up,” she said with a wink.
I scoffed. “This one? I’ve never brought anyone else around.”
“Exactly.”
Shaking my head, I pushed open the door. “Jesus, okay, Ma. I gotta run.”
“Bye, honey. Ride safe.”
Riding to Rabbit’s house, I tried to remember the last time I’d had dinner with a woman who wasn’t family. Probably high school. Between the cut sluts that flooded club parties and the club whores that were constantly around, I hadn’t had to work for ass in over a decade. When it came to Rabbit though, I wasn’t putting in the effort to get laid. I was laying down the groundwork for something else.
A conversation I had with my mother at my patch party came to mind as I headed for the highway.
“Hey, honey,” my mother said, coming to lean against the bar next to me.
I was already several shots in and riding the high of getting my bottom rocker and finally becoming a full-patched member of the Knights of Mayhem. “Hey, Ma.”
“Having fun?”
My eyes tracked a blonde cut slut across the room who’d been eye fucking me all night. “Yep, it’s looking like it’s gonna be a good night.”
Her gaze followed mine and she snorted. “I bet, you’re all a bunch of whores.”
“Kinda comes with the territory,” I said with a shrug.
She smiled and rolled her eyes, placing a hand on my shoulder. “It does, and you’ll have your fun for a while, but at some point, you’re going to meet a woman who’s worth the effort. Old ladies—the good ones, we’re a rare breed. Not everyone’s cut out for this life, you’ve gotta make sure whoever you end up with loves the club as much as they love you because if they don’t, it’ll never last. You’ll be constantly forced to choose between her and the club and both will suffer for it.”
“I’m not looking for an old lady,” I reminded her.
“Not yet, but you will, eventually. You’re the new generation, someday you’ll need to lead a whole new group of brothers into the future, and you’re not going to be able to do it alone.”
I snorted, she was seriously laying it on thick. “Don’t need a woman to handle my business.”
“God, you’re so young. Baby, listen to me, this life, the one we’ve all chosen? We exist in the gray, not all good, not all bad, toeing the line between freedom and following the rules. It’s like living on the edge of a razor blade, you need balance to maintain the path. A good old lady will bring you that balance. She’ll help carry the load when it’s uneven. You’re going to do things for the club, see things, that will haunt you, and someday you’re going to want to come home to someone who understands and can share that burden.”
I hadn’t thought about that night in a long time, but her words had always stuck with me. There was no way to explain it, but I’d known there was something special about Finley the first time we met. Maybe she’d done us both a favor by leaving that night. I wasn’t ready for her then. I was still caught up in endless parties and free pussy, it took her walking away for me to realize that easy wasn’t what I wanted.
I’d thought I was chasing what I couldn’t have, but the more time I spent with Rabbit, the more I didn’t want to let her go. When I was with her, the crushing weight of my problems dissipated, and I could finally breathe easy. The peace she brought my mind was even more addictive than her smile.
But we didn’t have balance.
I took and took from her, greedy and hungry for more. I drained her for the comfort she offered, used her body to turn off the chaos in my head, fed off her acceptance of what the club meant to me, but she wouldn’t allow me to give those things back to her. She’d built a fortress around herself and I’d yet to break through.
She held her secrets tight to her chest and until she trusted me enough to share her burden, we’d be stuck in limbo. Nothing with Rabbit was easy, but I was beginning to realize none of the best things in life were.
I was a few minutes early when I pulled into Rabbit’s driveway behind her black BMW, but headed up to the door anyway. It was better to be early than late, right?
Knocking, I waited as scuffling sounds and whispered words I couldn’t make out came from the other side of the door.
“Hey,” Rabbit said, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind her.
Confusion must’ve shown on my face because she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. I’m not canceling. I just wanted to talk to you before you came in.”
“What’s up?”
She sighed and ran a hand through her thick red waves. “It’s my sister, Stella. She’s kind of…”
“Crazy?”
“I was going to say intense,” she said, smacking my arm. “Look, she’s been through a lot of shit, and it’s had an effect on her is all.”
Reaching out, I grabbed her hand and tugged her to me. We’d only been apart for a little more than twenty-four hours, but it felt like forever. “What kind of shit?”
She shook her head, her arms slipping around my neck. “I’m not going to get into it all, but she had a substance abuse problem, she’s been clean for two years now, but she still struggles.”
Interesting.
Leaning against the porch railing, I pulled her between my legs. “Not that I’m not happy you’re sharin’ but why are you telling me this?”
“Because, she can get triggered and when she does, her reactions aren’t always proportionate. If something happens to set her off, just promise me you’ll let me handle it?”
My fingertips slipped under the hem of her shirt, rubbing small circles on the small of her back. “She dangerous or something?”
Rabbit’s lips pursed, and she tilted her head up, eyes pleading. “More self-destructive. Just promise me, okay?”
She was too fucking much,
I couldn’t help it, I ducked my head, stealing a quick kiss. At least, that had been my intention, but the second I tasted that sweet mouth, I lost all control. Groaning, I slipped my tongue past her lips, and reached down to palm her ass. She moaned, her hands fisting in my cut and I had to pull away before I threw her down and fucked her on her goddamn porch.
She cleared her throat. “Umm…what were we talking about?”
I laughed, loving the fact that I’d made her forget. “Your sister’s self-destructive tendencies. I’ll promise to let you try to handle it first. But babe, I’m not going to stand by and watch a situation go from bad to worse, understand?”
“Fine, come on,” she said, stepping away. She took my hand and led me through the front door.
The house was older but looked like it had been recently renovated. From what she’d told me, I knew she bought the house four years ago when the market was still on the rebound. For a twenty-six-year-old college student and part-time stripper, she’d done well for herself.
Now that I knew some of her sister’s issues, the fact that Rabbit had built a life for them through it all seemed even more impressive. It couldn’t have been easy. I’d seen my fair share of men succumb to addiction and few made it out. It was one of the reasons the club was split on getting into the drug business, even if it was only temporary.
I followed her into a large open kitchen that had definitely been overhauled. Everything was white, and the appliances all looked brand new. I wondered absently if the kitchen had been designed for Rabbit or Stella.
Stella pulled a casserole dish out of the oven and placed it on the large island. “Did she give you the talk?” she asked, tossing the oven mitts she’d been using on the countertop.
“Yep.” I wasn’t going to earn any points from Stella by lying, and I had a feeling I was going to need her on my side if I wanted Rabbit to stick around.
She rolled her eyes. “She was probably super cryptic about it too, huh?”
“You could say that,” I hedged.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. I did a lot of drugs, heroin being my personal favorite. For the most part, I’ve been off the shit for the past four years, I relapsed a couple of times, but I’ve been clean for two years now. I’m kind of a bitch, and my head’s fucked up most of the time, but I have my coping mechanisms, so things are pretty well under control. Any questions?”
I looked to Rabbit, but she didn’t seem surprised by Stella’s admission as she opened the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers.
“Did you get clean for your sister or yourself?” I asked, taking a seat on one of the stools next to the island.
Stella stiffened, eyes wide and I saw Rabbit freeze mid-step behind her. Neither of them had anticipated my question, but to Stella’s credit, she recovered quickly.
“Honestly, I’ve never really thought about it. Both, I guess. Why’d you ask?”
I liked that she threw a difficult question right back at me. It meant she wasn’t as fragile as Rabbit made her out to be.
“Unless you do it for yourself, getting clean will never stick.”
She arched an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “Interesting. Personal experience?”
I shook my head, taking the beer Rabbit held out to me. “Not me, one of my club brothers. Got caught up, we tried to force him to get clean. Locked him up to detox, but it wasn’t his choice, he hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. So as soon as he got the chance, he went out to score, ended up dying alone in a cheap hotel with a needle in his arm.”
For the first time since she’d brought it up, Stella seemed uncomfortable with the subject. She swallowed hard and turned away to rifle through a drawer.
Next to me, Rabbit opened her mouth to say something, but I stopped her with a hand on her arm. Our eyes met, and I shook my head. She didn’t need to fill the silence, Stella needed to work through her shit, Rabbit couldn’t do it for her.
Sure enough, after a minute Stella returned to the island, smile in place even if her eyes were still a little sad. “You like lasagna?”
I narrowed my eyes at the casserole dish in front of me. “Is the sauce store bought?”
Stella pulled a face. “Fuck no, what are we, heathens?”
I made a face right back at her. “Well you put pineapple on pizza so how was I supposed to know?”
“Oh, we’re gonna fight,” she said, pointing at me with a large kitchen knife before cutting into the lasagna. “Pepperoni and pineapple is the best pizza ever.”
“Fruit does not belong on a pizza,” I said, shaking my head emphatically.
“Tomatoes are a fruit,” she argued.
“Christ, if you guys are going to go at it like this the whole time I’m going to need another,” Rabbit said, downing the rest of her beer.
Stella finished slicing up the lasagna, and we migrated to the dining room where she’d laid out a spread that would put my mother to shame.
“This is really good, who made it?” I asked after devouring my first helping.
“Definitely not Finley,” Stella snorted, earning a glare from her sister.
“I can cook, I just choose not to,” Rabbit shot back.
Stella shoveled another forkful of lasagna into her mouth. “Keep telling yourself that, Sis,” she mumbled through a mouthful of food.
“Stop talking with food in your mouth!” Rabbit snapped, throwing her napkin at her sister’s head.
Laughing, Stella dodged the wadded-up napkin. “You’re just trying to change the subject.”
“Please, I can too cook. I kept you alive growing up, didn’t I?” Rabbit shot back. Stella’s smile fell, and she looked back down at her plate, the atmosphere of light-hearted humor suddenly sucked from the room.
I didn’t know enough about their past to know what landmine Rabbit had stepped on with her comment, but from the look on her face as she searched for something to say, it was a big one.
In the end, Stella was the one to slice through the tension. “It’s true, give Finley a food box, and she’ll make you a poor man’s feast. The things this girl can do with powdered milk…” she trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows.
Food box? I stored the information away for later feeling like some half-baked detective piecing clues together to solve the mystery of Rabbit’s past. From what I’d gathered, I knew Finley grew up poor, her mom was a drug addict, and her dad had gone to jail at least once. But besides a shitty childhood, I couldn’t figure out what she was hiding.
“So, Fin tells me your sister’s a mechanic.”
I nodded. “She is.”
“Is she any good?” If Stella’s rapid-fire questions were her way of trying to make me uncomfortable, it wasn’t working.
“The only one I trust to work on my bike besides me.”
“Oh wow, how progressive of you,” she mocked.
“Whatever, a good mechanic is a good mechanic, I couldn’t give a shit if it’s a man or woman as long as they know what they’re doing.”
“Do your brother’s feel the same? Women aren’t exactly valued for more than a warm place to stick your dick in most clubs.” The venom in her voice gave me pause.
Her question had both pissed me off and made me wonder how she seemed to have intimate knowledge of club life. A sense of dread filled my stomach as the pieces started to click together. I didn’t know how, but Rabbit and her sister were involved with the Sinners.
“Some guys prefer to work on their own bikes, but no one thinks Risa isn’t capable, they’ve all seen her work. Besides, not all MCs are the same.”
“Yeah, I’m starting to get that,” Stella nodded.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it, wanting to give Rabbit and her sister my undivided attention. I was finally getting somewhere, and I didn’t want to fuck it up, but when the buzzing started up again, I knew I didn’t have a choice. The club came first, always.
“Sorry,” I said, pulling out my phone. Harley’s name flashed across the screen, and I instantly reg
retted not picking up the first time. “Shit, I gotta take this.”
Standing from the table, I accepted the call and brought the phone to my ear. “Harley?”
“Why didn’t you answer?” she slurred on the other end.
She was either drunk or high. I couldn’t tell which but either way it couldn’t mean anything good. “Are you okay? Where are you?” I asked, heading for the back door.
“Backroads outside of Carver. I’m fine. Car’s fucked though,” she groaned.
At least if she was out in the sticks, we had a chance of getting to her before a cop. The last thing Chains needed was his daughter getting a DUI. “Why were you driving?”
“Needed to clear my head.”
“With a bottle of Jack?” I asked, closing the sliding glass door behind me as I stepped onto the back deck.
“Shut up. You don’t know anything Baz. Your life is perfect; you don’t know what it’s like…”
I wanted to argue that my life was far from perfect but thought better of it. Harley needed someone to be there for her, and since I was caught up, there was only one person I trusted to take care of her. “Shoot me your location, and I’ll send someone out to pick you up.”
“You’re not coming?” she asked, her voice so small it almost made me reconsider. But I’d spent years dropping everything to bail Harley out of one fucked up situation or another. I deserved to be a little selfish this time.
“No, I’m in the middle of something. I’ll call one of the boys and have them bring the tow truck.”
“Fine, whatever,” she said, and the line went dead.
“Fuck!” I yelled, pulling up my contacts. I didn’t think Harley was suicidal, but I had a feeling Chains’ illness was going to cause a downward spiral.
“Yeah?” Jester answered on the first ring.
“Hey, I’m gonna send you an address. Need you to bring the tow truck and go pick up Harley.”
“What the fuck did she do now?”
I groaned, rubbing my hand over my head. He was gonna be pissed and they’d probably fight the whole way back to the garage, but at least she’d be safe. “Wrecked her car. You good to go grab her?”