by Kendall Ryan
His straight nose, full lips, and the way his dark eyelashes rested against his cheeks was hypnotizing. Ian was the epitome of masculine beauty. His white T-shirt hugged him in a way that made his body seem even more godlike than usual. I licked my lips and admonished myself for wanting to trace my fingers over his chest.
“What?” he asked in a calm voice, snapping me out of my trance. He’d opened his eyes. The stillness must have woken him. He turned to face me, and the corners of his mouth tugged up playfully. “What are you looking at?”
I laughed. “Nothing. We’re here.”
His smile fell as the memory of the night’s events came back to him. “You drove all the way? Why didn’t you wake me?”
“You needed the sleep.”
He looked around. “So why are we in my garage?”
“I thought I’d drop you here and catch a cab,” I said.
He shook his head.
I shook my head back at him and shrugged. “What, are you going to drive me?”
He rubbed his hand over his head and sat up. “No, I don’t like the idea of you going back to your neighborhood at this time of night.”
“So, what? You want me to stay over tonight?” I raised my eyebrows at him and smiled.
“Actually, yeah. I do.”
God, the idea of lying in bed with Ian was so enticing. Still, I’d already decided that Ian and I wouldn’t happen. In fact, we couldn’t happen if he wanted to fight in Vegas, something we both wanted desperately for him. Something he deserved.
“No,” I said.
His brow furrowed. “I don’t mean like that. I have a guest room.” He took a deep breath. “I just don’t want to worry about you tonight. It’s been a rough day for me with all this Sophia stuff, and I’d feel a lot better if I knew you were safe. Call me old-fashioned, I don’t care, but please humor me, just for tonight.”
“Fine.” I sighed. Honestly, I was too tired to argue, and after the drive to and from the treatment center, a cab ride home seemed too long of a wait to get to sleep.
He led the way to the underground ramp’s elevator. The elevator walls were mirrored, of course, which meant that no matter how hard I tried to avoid noticing how delicious he looked in his just-tight-enough jeans, he was right there. The other alternative, looking up at his face, was something I knew I couldn’t handle alone with him in the quiet elevator. I hazarded a peek, and his sleepy eyes were looking thoughtfully at me. I took a deep breath, folded my arms, and leaned back against the wall.
As he hit the button for his floor, I was reminded of the fact that I’d never actually been inside his condo. Every time I’d come over, we worked in his gym on the first floor, but his apartment was on the twenty-fourth floor. The top floor, of course.
When we got there, he led the way down the hall past several other units. At least he wasn’t in one of those crazy penthouses where the elevator opened to his condo because the top floor was all his.
Ian’s place was larger than mine, but still modest. It had a dark color scheme that was unquestionably masculine, from the deep cherry hardwood floors to the dark leather furniture, to the black appliances in the kitchen off the great room. But it was so tastefully done that I had my doubts as to whether he’d furnished it himself. It was elegant, but not enough so to keep my eyes from drifting back to his beautiful body. I was having a seriously hard time not looking at him in that white T-shirt.
“This place is so clean.” I didn’t mean to say it out loud, but apparently I was too tired to self-edit.
“Cleaners come once a week.”
Duh, of course he didn’t clean his own place. I stifled a laugh.
“Let me give you the quick tour.” He took me down a hallway and showed me his small office, the guest bedroom, and guest bathroom. “This is you,” he said, stepping inside.
The room was a decent size with a beautiful deep maroon theme. But it was so clean, it felt like a hotel room.
He headed over to a small dresser and opened the top drawer. “My sister used to crash here sometimes when she was in high school. I don’t suppose this would fit you?”
He held up a shirt that had to be a size extra small, juniors. But I’d make it work.
“Sure. Thanks.”
“There are new toothbrushes in the guest bathroom under the sink, and fresh towels in the closet if you want a shower or anything.” As he said shower, his gaze drifted over my body, nothing subtle about it.
God, if I took a shower, would he join me? Delicious heat raced through me at the thought.
I caught myself biting my lip and turned away, pulling in a deep breath. “Thanks,” I said again.
He lifted his hand and turned me back to face him, then cupped his rough palm against my cheek. “Thank you. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated all your help tonight.”
I was so tempted to cover his hand with mine and lean my cheek into it. It took every ounce of willpower I had, but I managed to nod and wait for him to reluctantly pull his hand away.
“I’m just at the end of the hall if you need anything. Good night.” He closed the door behind him, and his footsteps padded down the hall.
I stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door to my room. Like an idiot, I was hoping for the world’s oldest cliché. I wanted to stand on one side of the door while he stood outside it, each of us hoping the other would open the door so that we could collide into each other’s arms and fall back onto the bed.
But stuff like that didn’t happen to girls like me.
I turned away and pulled the covers down on the guest bed, then climbed in. I was so mentally and physically exhausted that I was sure I would get right to sleep. So sure that when an hour had passed and I was still awake, I was seriously amazed.
As I stared at the ceiling, I thought I heard footsteps coming toward my room, but I was so tired, I could have imagined it. Still, a desperate need bubbled up inside me, making me feel crazy. I had to know if he was there, if he still felt the same way about me as I did about him.
So I got up, took a deep breath, and pulled open the door. I was so shocked to see Ian standing directly in front of me, I stumbled a step back as he smirked happily at me.
“I couldn’t…” I started as he interrupted me with, “I wanted…”
We both fell into an easy laughter, and I motioned for him to go ahead.
Ian rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I wanted to thank you for tonight. Again. I’m sorry I got you involved in all this, I just didn’t know who else to call.”
I nodded. “Ian, don’t worry about it. I’m glad you called. I can’t imagine you trying to do this all on your own.” His small smile of gratitude was all the thanks I needed.
“What were you going to say before I interrupted?” he asked.
I shuffled my feet on the carpeting, digging my big toe into the plush fibers. “I couldn’t sleep,” I admitted.
He nodded. “Me neither. I’m glad you’re here with me. Tonight was interesting, to say the least.”
I watched his lips as he spoke, remembering how firm and soft they were at the same time. Then I mentally chastised myself for thinking about kissing him when he was clearly upset over his sister.
“But Sophia’s tough. She’ll fare okay,” he added, his posture relaxing as he leaned back against the wall.
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t that torn up after all. Sophia was a big girl, and she was now in the best possible place she could be. We had to stay positive and hope for the best.
“The truth is,” he continued, “it’s not easy to sleep knowing there’s a beautiful woman just down the hall. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try…”
His honesty surprised me. As his words hung in the space between us, Ian brought his hand to my cheek, lightly caressing my skin.
His touch awakened a need in me, one I’d been desperate to suppress, and I leaned into his warm palm. His touch felt so good, so right, that I struggled to comprehend
why I’d been holding myself back from this for so long. I stepped closer.
His gaze moved between my lips and my eyes. “What about Chris?”
“What about him?”
“He’s your boyfriend, MacKenzie. Shouldn’t he be the one taking care of your needs?” His thumb brushed lightly along my cheekbone, making me dizzy.
I shook my head, my bold gaze not straying from his. If only he knew the truth.
“Not getting enough from Chris?” Ian’s smirk was playful, but his words cut straight through me.
“We haven’t…we’re not…”
Oh dear God, someone please shut me up.
“Wait a second.” His brow crinkled. “You’re not fucking him?”
I flinched at his words, which came out harsh, like an accusation. “No.”
“Why the fuck not?” He straightened, and his hand dropped away from me.
I shrugged. “It hasn’t felt right.”
I don’t want Chris.
“And this?” He motioned between us.
Once again, my gaze latched onto his and refused to wander.
I want you.
As wrong as it was, I couldn’t flat-out lie to him again. I needed to try to deny it and push him away, but the words refused to form in my mouth.
“Fuck it.”
Ian curled a rough palm around the back of my neck and guided my mouth to his. His lips barely brushed against mine. His overt strength took a back seat, and the gentleness of his touch surprised me. His hot breath whispered across my skin, causing little tingles of heat to crackle along my skin and down my spine, pooling low in my belly.
A tiny whimper escaped my throat. I needed more. When his tongue lightly brushed against my lower lip, I opened for him. His tongue flicked along mine, dampening my panties and sweeping away all my good sense.
Sweet memories of his tender kisses and sure, strong hands lifting me flooded my senses with overwhelming desire. The reverence in his hooded eyes as he drank me in lashed back at me from my subconscious. Blood rushed through my veins, and I was dazed with the need to give in. But years of faking inner strength rose to the surface and I pulled a deep, shaky breath into my lungs, forcing myself to let it all go.
Ian wasn’t the type to make a commitment—fighting came first. And I liked him enough that I wouldn’t get in the way of his chance to break into the pros.
“Ian…” I breathed his name, and his lips broke from mine. “We can’t,” I whispered weakly.
He nodded.
“Not right now,” I explained. “You can’t lose focus on your fight.”
His eyes danced on mine. “But after?”
Everything inside me screamed yes. But I sucked my lower lip into my mouth to avoid saying something stupid.
He nodded, and I thought I saw hope in his eyes.
A silent promise hung heavily in the air between us, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We couldn’t ignore this explosive chemistry between us forever.
“This isn’t over,” he said, his tone direct and sure.
I stood there motionless as he swiped his thumb across my bottom lip in a tender gesture, then turned away and disappeared into his bedroom.
Holy fuck! I returned to the guest bedroom on shaky legs, my soaked panties and racing heart reminding me of the very dangerous game I was playing.
Thirty-Four
Ian
Kenzie was making me lose my fucking shit.
She could be so sweet. The way she stepped in and found the place for Sophia, even going so far as to pack a bag for her and insist on coming along for the drive to the treatment center. And then later at my place, when she let me hold her and pull her in for the kiss, it felt so right that I was sure she felt it too. Her sweet taste and the hunger in her eyes when she looked at me, those were the memories that played in my head as I finally fell asleep.
It wasn’t until the next morning that I really thought about what she’d said. Not right now.
Why the fuck not? Sure, she thought she was a distraction, but being away from her was so much worse. I got up, threw on some shorts, and marched back down the hall to the guest bedroom to confront her. I was going to make her understand. We didn’t have to wait.
But the door hung open, the bed was made, and she was gone. Not even a hint remained that she’d ever been here.
When I got to the gym, MacKenzie was there, but she was never alone. If she wasn’t talking with one of the guys, Chris was hovering somewhere nearby.
During our afternoon session, Chris seemed to be watching us the whole time. That, and she had me doing my exercises within earshot of several of the other guys, which made talking to her impossible. What really fucked me up, though, was how cold she’d become. It was such a complete turnaround from the way she’d been the night before, it was driving me nuts.
“Three sets of twelve with the sixties, please.” Her voice was monotone. She pointed at the weight, refusing to look me in the eyes.
I bent down into her line of vision as I picked up the weight and tried to catch her eye, but she averted her gaze again.
Son of a bitch.
Behind her, Chris headed into his office. We were just out of sight of the one-way mirror, so I took advantage of the opportunity, shelved the weight, threw Kenzie over my shoulder, and headed out back to the alley.
“Ian, put me down,” she demanded. “What are you doing?” She twisted and squirmed, trying to get me to release her, but she was so small I could easily maintain control. Her attempts were futile. I was going to get her alone to talk to her, whether she wanted to or not.
“We need to talk,” I said as I kicked open the back door and stepped outside.
“You can’t do this, it’s kidnapping. Let me go,” she said, her voice filled with irritation.
I headed a bit farther down the alleyway before finally setting her feet on the ground.
She straightened out her clothes, then put her hands on her hips. Her gaze darted briefly to mine, then she focused her hateful glare at the wall behind me. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Don’t give me that. There’s something between us. You feel it; I know you do. Last night you said you just wanted to wait until my fight was over, but I don’t want to wait. Because waiting for you is a worse distraction than being with you could ever be. Break up with Chris. I don’t care what he does. He can beat the crap out of me. You don’t like him; you don’t even want to fuck him.” I paused, taking a deep breath to calm myself. “But you and I both know that’s not the case with me. You want me. I see it in your eyes.”
MacKenzie looked down at the ground and shook her head. “No, I don’t.” Her response was almost a whisper, but her words stung.
She couldn’t mean them. I stepped closer and lifted her chin. Her eyes darted around, only meeting mine briefly. What was she hiding?
“Bullshit,” I said, barely keeping my voice under control. “What’s changed?”
“What?”
“You heard me. What’s changed? Last night when I kissed you, you kissed back. You said we had to wait until my fight was over. Now I’m saying I don’t want to wait. I can’t wait. I need you now. And you won’t even look me in the eye. So, what has changed?”
“Ian, I’m sorry about last night. I wish it hadn’t happened that way, but you have to remember, I was exhausted. We’d been driving all night, and I just wasn’t thinking clearly.” Her eyes lifted to mine, and they were filled with pain.
I shook my head. “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s the truth. I want to be with Chris, and you have to let me. I was weak last night. I slipped. It won’t happen again.”
“But why?” God, if she really did want to be with him, of course I would let her, but I couldn’t see it. There was no way he was right for her.
“Chris is a good guy. He’s someone…” MacKenzie paused and swallowed. “Someone who would stick around, and make a good husband one day.” She looked away, then
dropped her gaze to the ground.
I rubbed my hand over my hair. What she said almost made sense, but I wasn’t buying it.
“You want me.” I closed the distance between us, cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her lips gently. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t kiss me back either. Instead, a small sob escaped, and I pulled away to see tears escaping her closed eyes.
Shit. What the fuck was I doing? I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to hurt this girl. Not ever.
I took a step back and lifted my hands in apology. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t…” MacKenzie’s voice shook, and she took a breath. “I don’t think you need our sessions anymore. Your shoulder is fully healed. You’ve been fighting at full strength for a week now.”
She swallowed, wiped her eyes, then turned and headed down the alley.
Thirty-Five
MacKenzie
I was one serious basket case. I hated myself so much it made me sick.
Falling into Ian’s arms that night felt so right, but it was such a stupid thing to do. And so weak. I’d slipped up, almost letting him know how I felt, opening the door for him to get distracted. He was so agitated, I thought he would march right into the gym and tell Chris about us. But if he’d done that, Chris surely would have pulled him from the fight.
Ian had been cleared by the doctor to start sparring again, but Chris still wasn’t sure he’d be ready. That morning he informed me that he’d arranged for Jonah to come with us to Vegas, just in case he had to pull Ian from the fight.
I couldn’t have that.
Which was why I needed to be strong. If Ian couldn’t keep the distance between us in the week and a half leading up to the fight, I would have to be the one to take care of it. I didn’t like having to stop our physical therapy sessions, but I could no longer trust myself with him. And in all honesty, he was back to full strength. We could have stopped working together several days before, but I was too selfish. I wanted more time with him.
That had to stop.
So when I left him in the alley, I went back inside, cleaned myself up in the bathroom, and headed to the office to find Chris. On my way across the gym, Blondie, the girl I’d seen him with the other day, was exiting the office.