Reckless Love

by Kendall Ryan

  She saw me and changed course to intercept me, then paused next to me. “You may think Chris is yours but, honey, he’s been having his meals elsewhere. Soon enough, he’ll be mine.” Once she’d dropped her little bombshell, she smirked and continued the rest of the way to the front door.

  Too bad for her that her threat didn’t have the intended reaction. My heart belonged to someone else, so it was only fitting that Chris’s did too.

  I was so busy watching Blondie’s exit that I bumped right into Chris. “Oof. Sorry,” I said.

  “Hey, babe. How did physical therapy go? Was Ian cooperative today?”

  “Fine,” I said. “He’s doing really well. So well, in fact, that he graduated. He doesn’t have to do those exercises anymore. He can use the time to focus on other things.”

  At that moment, Ian walked back in the front door of the gym. When his eyes found Chris and me, he looked away and lifted a hand to knead the back of his neck.

  Obviously he felt responsible for making me cry. I hated that he felt that way, but there was nothing I could do to change it. He needed to think we were over, and that there was no chance of us ever happening. He needed to focus on healing and his fight in Vegas. Besides, we’d never work anyhow, and I’d end up with even more of a broken heart than I had now.

  I slipped my hand into Chris’s and got up on my tiptoes, giving him a peck on the cheek, then glanced over to make sure Ian was watching. By the way his jaw tightened, it was safe to assume he was definitely watching.

  Chris turned to face me and gave me a wet kiss on the lips. “I thought you didn’t like PDA at work. What was that for?” He smiled.

  I forced myself to smile back.

  Ian

  Apparently Kenzie never told Chris about the night she spent in my guest room. I knew this because Chris didn’t beat me senseless the next day, the way he probably should have for trying to move on his girl. The cold shoulder I received from Kenzie through the rest of my training leading up to the fight was so much worse. I would have taken a beating from Chris if it meant I could have stolen another moment with Kenzie. But she made it clear with her emotionless stares that we were done.

  Her devotion to Chris was making me insane. How could she want to be with someone she wasn’t even sure she wanted to fuck? That day at my home gym, when I had her folded in half, wet as fuck and begging for it, kept resurfacing in my mind. She’d been mine for the taking, offering herself to me.

  What had she said about Chris? It hasn’t felt right. But for some insane reason, she refused to give up on him, on them.

  Watching her with someone else, even if it was someone she chose, did things to me. Every time Chris kissed her, I punched harder, kicked faster, and pushed myself further than I had before. Maybe the only benefit of her refusing to be with me was that I was redoubling my training effort.

  The thought of Kenzie, my Kenzie, with someone else tormented me. It filled me with an overwhelming rage that I could only relieve by pounding, ripping, and kicking the shit out of my sparring partners. And they were feeling it; I could see it in their eyes, the fear. The smaller guys wouldn’t work with me, so I was left with Jonah and several guys in the weight class above me. Even Jonah was getting bruised in practice. But he loved the fight so much, he would shake it off and come back for more. He and Chris worked with me all day on different moves and last-minute techniques.

  When I went home, I threw myself into watching and re-watching my opponent’s old fights. I ate, breathed, and crapped fight videos. I was sick of watching the same fights over and over; I had them memorized. I knew all his moves. But I continued to watch them in the odd chance I would see something new I hadn’t seen the first eighty times I’d watched them. That, and they were the only way to stifle thoughts of Kenzie.

  It was only through my dedication to the fight that I made it through the next week and a half without her. When the fight was over, I wasn’t sure how I’d fucking deal.

  Thirty-Six

  MacKenzie

  The next ten days were hard. I tried to stay away from Ian, but he was training at the gym all the time, and I still needed my paycheck to make rent, so I couldn’t leave. Instead, I tried to make sure he saw me with Chris as much as possible.

  I’d been worried Chris would take my new affection and try to push our relationship to the next level. Thankfully, he had too much to do. If he wasn’t coaching Ian, he was on the phone with sponsors or the fight organization, working on all the last-minute details. I made sure to constantly point out how much stronger Ian had gotten, and that he was more than ready to win.

  Still there was one part of fight preparation that worried the crap out of me—cutting weight. Before the fight, Ian had to reduce his weight by twenty pounds, which was something all the fighters did. But they did it in such a short amount of time that it made the nurse in me cringe, and the part of me that cared for Ian want to cry.

  I had to sit back and watch as he sweated and dehydrated himself the last few days leading up to the fight so that he would be able to hit the correct weight for his fighting class at weigh-in.

  By the time we boarded the plane, he was so shaky that Jonah had to help him put his luggage in the overhead bin. My eyes fixed on Ian as he grabbed the back of the seat in front of him and slowly lowered himself into the aisle seat.

  “He’ll be fine, sweetie,” Chris said, pulling my attention away. “He’s been through this before.” He chuckled as if it was no big deal, but I had a bitter taste in my mouth and my stomach was all cramped up. “You don’t mind if I take the window seat, do you?” he asked. “It’s easier for me to sleep on that side, and I want to try to get a nap in on the flight.” He slid in, taking the seat without waiting for me to respond.

  I sighed and shook my head. It was my first time on a plane, and I would have liked to see what it was like taking off, but I didn’t feel like arguing. Besides, Chris was paying for the trip. I had set aside a few hundred dollars for spending cash, but wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t paid for my airfare and hotel.

  I took the aisle seat next to Chris, and he lifted up the armrest between us. Putting his arm around me, he pulled me close. “Sorry I haven’t been able to spend more time with you, Kenzie.” He kissed me. “I promise we’ll be able to spend more time together once we get Ian all set up for the fight.”

  He folded me into his arms, forcing my head into his shoulder, which was drenched in cologne. My almost constant stress headache worsened and my stomach, which had been acting up for the past several weeks, gurgled. It would be a long flight.

  It wasn’t until the plane had taken off, and Chris pulled the window shade to get some sleep, that I was finally able to free myself from his grasp. When the seatbelt sign pinged off, I got up and headed for the bathroom. Not just to get away from Chris, but because my stomach issues were threatening to turn the corner after the roller coaster of emotion combined with the motion of the plane at takeoff.

  I made it to the bathroom just in time. Latching the door, I flipped the seat up on the toilet, pulled my hair back, and let my lunch back out the same way it had come in.

  Afterward, I washed my face in the small sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. My face was pale and my hair was a gnarl-fest. I ran my fingers through my hair and consoled myself. At least now I wouldn’t be lying to Chris when I told him I was too sick to go out tonight.

  I frowned. The fight was the day after tomorrow. I just needed to make it through two more days, then I could be done with this whole mess. I could break up with Chris, find a new job, and forget about the man who’d stolen my heart.

  Love was too dangerous a game. I’d known that my entire life, but somehow these last few months, I’d forgotten it. I needed to be strong.

  I pulled the latch on the door and slid it open, and was shocked to find Ian standing just outside.

  “I saw you rush back here. Are you okay?”

  Fully aware that I’d just thrown up and had n
o access to a toothbrush, I covered my mouth. “I’m fine,” I said through my fingers.

  “You don’t look fine,” he said, pulling my hand away from my face so that he could see. “You’re pale.” His gaze darted down the aisle to our seats, then he put his hand on my shoulder. “Just sit down for a minute.” He guided me to an open seat a few rows down, and squatted next to me.

  I hadn’t felt dizzy, but sitting down felt really good just then. I might have been a little woozy. “I’m fine,” I protested. Because even if I wasn’t, Ian didn’t need to know. We’d been doing a good job of staying apart so far. No need to ruin that now. I was so close to the finish line.

  He brushed my hair back behind my ear, making a shiver rush down my face and neck. But then the plane hit a bit of turbulence, and he stumbled and grabbed the seat’s back for support. His arm shook, reminding me of the frail state he was in.

  “Don’t worry about me,” I said. “You should be resting. You’re the one who’s all dehydrated.” I stood up and tried to make him take the same seat I’d just vacated.

  “Nonsense,” he said.

  “Look at you, you’re shaking. I…” My voice wavered. “You need water.”

  “Kenzie.” His voice was calm and soothing, and he once again put a hand on my shoulder. “If I don’t make the correct weight, I can’t fight. You know that. Besides, I do this before all the fights. I’ll be fine.”

  I looked at him again. He was still the same tall, strong Ian I’d always known. Despite that, something about his posture made me wanted to take him in my arms and hold him. I wanted to care for him while he went through this insane bit of self-torture, but I couldn’t. I needed to be strong, so I balled up my fists.

  “Fine,” I said. “But don’t waste your energy worrying about me.” My voice came out harsh. Ian needed to focus on his fight, not me.

  I turned away and headed back down the aisle. I wanted him to have his fight, and I wanted him to win. All this self-sacrifice couldn’t be for nothing.

  Ian

  I’d been to Vegas countless times before, often enough to see fights, but this was the first time I was going to be the one in the cage. I was so pumped, my heart felt like it beat triple-time on the flight there. That combined with the physical strain of sweating and avoiding liquids to cut weight made me a total wreck.

  Still, I seemed to be the only one who noticed when Kenzie ran off to the restroom as soon as the seatbelt sign was turned off. Both Chris and Jonah had managed to pass out, so even though I’d been getting the stink-eye from Kenzie for the past week—ever since I confronted her—I went back to check on her.

  She’d looked frail and delicate. So much so that it took everything in me to not fold her in my arms and hold her. Of course, she denied anything was wrong and tried to turn it around on me, making it about my health. That was so like her. She wouldn’t let me help, and turned away from me, storming back to her seat.

  After everything we’d been through, I still wanted her. I knew we were meant to be together, but she was wearing me down, so I’d promised myself to not think about it until after the fight. A promise I definitely could not keep.

  It was midnight local time when we landed. Still, when we got to the hotel, I was nowhere near tired.

  “This way,” Chris said as the elevator doors opened to our floor. Chris led the way with his luggage and Kenzie followed him, wheeling her small suitcase.

  “Are you sure I can’t carry that for you, Kenzie?” I asked.

  I’d offered to carry it for her earlier, but Chris had given me a weird, almost bitter look. I wasn’t sure how he could be mad if he wasn’t going to man up and help out his girlfriend. I swear, if he didn’t start being more attentive to Kenzie, I would punch him.

  “No, it’s fine. I’ve got it.” She smiled politely.

  “This is us,” Chris said. He slid in the key card and opened the door.

  I hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but my room was only a few doors down. As I searched my pockets for my own key card, I could hear them talking.

  “This is my room?” MacKenzie said.

  My pulse quickened. Were they staying in separate rooms?

  “This is our suite,” Chris said.

  Deflated, I located my key card and was about to let myself in when I heard Kenzie say, “I thought you said I would get my own room.”

  I put my key card back in my pocket and pretended to continue to search. Did she really demand separate rooms? My heart pounded with my elevated pulse. If she wasn’t going to fuck him, why the hell was she still with him?

  “Don’t worry, my little Kenzie,” Chris said. “I didn’t forget our deal. You have your own room.”

  “But you just said—”

  “This is our suite. My bedroom is on one side, and yours is—”

  The door closed behind them and I could no longer hear. But I’d heard enough. This whole time Kenzie had been giving me the cold shoulder and making me think she was getting closer to Chris. But it was a load of shit. They still hadn’t fucked.

  Maybe there was still hope for us after all.

  Just how the fuck was I supposed to focus on the fight?

  Thirty-Seven

  MacKenzie

  As we headed up to our floor in the hotel elevator, I started to feel sick again. Being with Chris was wearing on me. Big-time.

  The unsettled feeling in my stomach only intensified when Chris showed me the rooming situation. “My bedroom is over there.” He pointed at one of the doors that led off the front room of our suite. “And your bedroom is over there.”

  He smiled proudly as panic filled me. I could manage the next few days with Chris, going out on dates and putting him off. But I wasn’t sure I could handle sharing a room with him. Which was why I thought we’d agreed on separate rooms.

  “I…” I searched for words that wouldn’t make me sound like I was freaking at the idea of being alone with him. “We…”

  Crap. I couldn’t find the words. I was so upset, but I didn’t want him to get angry. He’d brought Jonah with us, almost as if he still wasn’t sure that Ian was ready for the fight. He’d never said it again outright, but it still felt like Ian’s participation in the fight somehow hinged on my staying with Chris. If I exploded on him now, he might just pull Ian.

  “Okay,” I said.

  The living area of our suite had floor-to-ceiling mirrors on two walls, black faux-leather furniture, as well as black laminate-covered particleboard end tables. All that combined with the mini bar made the room scream cheap stripper party. Although this was Vegas, so make that cheap hooker party.

  The thought made my skin crawl, and I suddenly wondered if I had enough energy to take a shower. I took a deep breath and headed over to check out my room. I slid the door open, noting that the room was tiny and only contained a bed and a small closet. I put my bag on the bed. At least there was no stripper pole.

  Chris followed me and leaned against the doorway. “Get yourself settled and cleaned up, or whatever, then we’ll go grab a drink at the bar.”

  “Chris, I don’t feel well. I think I need to just crash,” I said.

  He looked at me. “Hmm. Yeah, I guess you don’t look too good. It’s late. We can always go out tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Chris headed back toward his room, and I slid the door closed so that I could get ready for bed. There was no lock. Not that I didn’t trust Chris, he was always a gentleman, but I needed a room that was just mine where I could lock out the rest of the world. One place that was safe from everything, and mine alone.

  I didn’t have that.

  Two more nights. I could get through this.

  Couldn’t I?

  Thirty-Eight

  Ian

  I was running on adrenaline and couldn’t sleep at all that night. If I wasn’t busy forcing thoughts of Kenzie out of my mind, I was rushing through fight scenarios. My brain absolutely refused to calm down enough to let me sleep.

/>   The next day after weigh-in, I spent a good part of the evening rehydrating and carb-loading. Even after a huge meal, I still couldn’t find sleep, so I met Chris, Kenzie, and Jonah for drinks at the bar. Hell, even if I couldn’t drink, maybe I could catch a contact buzz.

  At the bar, I felt instantly more at ease. It helped that Kenzie was looking better. She had some color in her cheeks, though part of that might have had to do with the fact that she was on her second glass of wine.

  “How’s your room?” I asked Chris.

  “It’s big,” he said. “We’ll need to throw you an after-party there when you win tomorrow.” He put his arm around Kenzie when he said “we” as if he owned her.

  Possessive bastard. I tried not to let it get to me, but my shoulders tensed. She’s mine.

  My eyes darted to Kenzie. She seemed sad, but she forced a smile when Chris looked at her, then took another sip of wine.

  Chris flagged down a waitress. “Another round.”

  A hand grabbed my shoulder, making me jump and look behind me. A tall, slender woman with long dark hair and wearing a skintight little black dress looked down at me.

  “Hello, handsome.” Her hand trailed up my neck and lightly brushed through my hair. She stepped closer, arching her back so that her tits were only inches from my face.

  Not subtle at all.

  MacKenzie

  There were prostitutes in my neighborhood back home. The bulk of them were addicts making money to feed their habit. The one who approached Ian was nothing like them. She was beautiful. Which shouldn’t have bothered me; after all, I’d been pushing him away so long that he had to think I wasn’t interested.