Aimee chose that moment to let out a loud wail. Millie gave an apologetic smile and got to her feet. “Sorry, Nate.” She picked the baby out of the bassinet and rocked her.
“Can I hold her?” Nate asked.
Dex guessed this was not a normal request when the whole room went silent. She glanced around at a sea of shocked faces.
“Of course,” Millie said, the first to react. She nestled the little girl in Nate’s arms. He stared down at her, his face a mixture of surprise and wonderment.
A warm feeling spread through Dex’s chest. He looked so at peace. After a couple of minutes humming to the baby, she fell asleep.
“You’ve got the gift,” Millie said, grinning as Nate carefully handed the child back to its mother. “I might call on you for babysitting duties.”
“I’d like that,” he said quietly.
Jax’s eyes sparkled with what Dex guessed was happiness. He confirmed it when he said, “I’ve finally gotten my brother back.”
Nate rolled his eyes, his trademark cocky attitude making a comeback. “All right. No need to go all maudlin on me.”
Calum laughed. “There’s the dick we all know. I suppose this means we’ll be seeing your ugly mug around here more often now.”
“You might,” Nate said. “If only to piss you off.”
Calum laughed again. “Bring it.”
Dex sneaked a glance at Nate. Happiness shone from every pore as he bantered back and forth with Calum. Thank God. She’d been right to push him to do this.
“Feel up to talking now?” Jax asked.
Nate nodded. “Sure.”
“Okay, maybe you can start at the beginning,” Jax said. “Do you still have the letter?”
“No. I put it back where I found it. It was in that old shoebox you kept at the house that was full of bits and pieces of Mom’s.”
“Damn,” Jax said, crestfallen. “I put that in storage with the rest of Mom and Dad’s things when we moved here. Never mind. We’ll go to the lockup tomorrow.” He cast a look at Nate. “If you don’t mind, that is?”
“Fine by me,” Nate said with a shrug.
“Do you know who your dad is?” Laurella asked.
Dex briefly wondered if she’d drawn the short straw on that particular question, but then with her soft European accent and gentle manner, it somehow sounded better coming from her.
“Not a clue,” Nate said, his expression hardening. “And I don’t fucking want to know.”
“Don’t you?” Dex asked. “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” he bit out.
“Even if you did, I’m not sure we’d know where to start,” Jax said. “Twenty-eight years is a long time.”
“Good thing I don’t give a shit then.”
Calum chuckled. “You’re our brother all right. Full of attitude.”
Nate flashed a quick grin, then the room fell silent, as though no one knew what else to say. Nate gave her a nudge and cocked his head toward his bedroom. “Two seconds, Titch.”
She frowned as he took her hand. He gestured for her to go inside, then closed the door behind them.
“I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened. “For what?”
His chin dropped to his chest, and he stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. “For yelling at you when you only had my best interests at heart. For storming out and leaving you here to deal with the fallout. For worrying you.” He blew out a slow breath, his head gradually lifting. He met her gaze and then traced his fingertips over her cheek. “Do you forgive me?”
She caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
His answering grin chased away the shadows beneath his eyes. “Then let’s get out of here.”
Excited, she mirrored his grin. “Dancing?”
He grazed his nose down hers. “Whatever my love wants.”
Chapter 21
“Let’s walk the rest of the way,” Nate said after the traffic had been at a standstill for five minutes. He handed the cab driver a twenty, and they all climbed out of the car. Nate took hold of Dex’s hand, and he and his brothers walked the last four blocks to the storage unit.
Jax keyed in the code and lifted the roller door. Inside was several boxes, all sealed and stacked three high. The unit was also filled with their dad’s golf clubs, an old bike, a scratched mahogany sideboard that had been passed down from their maternal grandmother, and a piano that Nate remembered Mom buying because she’d thought it would be a good idea for them to play a musical instrument. Suffice to say none of them had either the aptitude or the patience to learn, and it had gathered dust in the dining room, but she’d refused to get rid of it, saying it added a touch of elegance to their home.
“Whose is the bike?” he asked Jax with a cocked eyebrow.
“Mine,” Jax said with a grin. “I nagged Mom for weeks for a bike, but she thought the streets were too dangerous, so she refused. Dad talked her round in the end.”
Nate’s face twisted, and Cole laid a hand on his arm. “He was still your dad.”
“I think he hated me.”
Calum shook his head. “No, he didn’t.”
“He always treated me differently, and if you’re being honest, you’ll all agree.”
Jax tugged on his bottom lip, his expression pensive. And then he sighed. “He was much harder on you than the rest of us. I figured he wanted to motivate you for some reason, like he thought you weren’t pushing yourself hard enough or something.”
“And instead, he must have gotten a kick to the gut every time he saw me because I reminded him of Mom’s betrayal. I mean, I don’t exactly look like the rest of you, do I?”
Before any of his brothers could answer, Dex beat them to it. “Actually you do. Apart from the color of your eyes, of course. But you have lots of physical traits in common with your brothers.” She emphasized the last word, clearly to ram her point home. “Take a look in the mirror side by side and you’ll see.”
She turned her back on them and wandered over to the piano. She lifted the lid and ran her fingers over the keys. “I always wanted to learn to play, but we couldn’t afford a piano,” she said wistfully.
Nate’s heart twisted for her. He mightn’t have had it easy, but he’d never been short of stuff. Computer games, Lego sets, the latest sneakers that all the kids at school were wearing. Sure, he hadn’t gotten the affection from his dad that his brothers had, but Mom more than made up for the shortfall, pouring all her love into him.
“I can ship it to you if you like,” Jax said, causing Nate’s eyebrows to shoot up into his hairline. Jeez, Dex must’ve made a good impression if Jax was willing to gift something of such sentimental value to someone he’d only met a few days ago.
“I’d love to take you up on that,” Dex said. “But as Nate will no doubt attest to, I’d have to get rid of my furniture to accommodate it.” She giggled. “I live in a very, very tiny apartment.”
Nate made a mental note to speak to Jax privately and get the piano shipped to his place. He couldn’t make Dex’s apartment any bigger, but if he had his way, she’d be spending all her time at his house anyway.
Jax took down the first box. “Sorry, guys, but I can’t remember which one the shoebox will be in, so we’ll have to go through them all.”
They all sat on the floor, each opening a box, and began the search. It took ages because they kept stopping and reminiscing about what they found inside, particularly when they came across some old photo albums of their school days. Dex paused her searching and watched as the brothers shared memories.
“You grew into your looks then?” she said, giving Nate a playful shoulder bump as he pointed out a formal school picture taken in seventh grade, about a year after the accident that killed his parents. He appeared happy enough, wearing a big, beaming smile, but his eyes held more than a tinge of sadness and knowledge that only someone who’d suffered would have.
“Lucky for you I did,” he repl
ied, flicking the end of her nose.
Cole held up a photograph and turned it over to check out the date on the back. “Hey, it’s me. I must only be about six months old. Oh man, I’ve gotta take this back to show Millie. Aimee looks just like I did as a baby.”
Calum snatched it off him. “Poor kid.”
“Here’s one of you, Calum about the same age,” Jax said, waving the picture in the air.
Calum grimaced. “Well you ain’t showing Laurella that one of me. Check out those chubby cheeks.”
Dex laughed. “If she sees Cole’s, she’ll know what you looked like anyway. You’re identical twins, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Oh shit, yeah.”
Heat radiated through Nate’s chest. These guys are my family, and they always have been. The realization caught him off guard, and he sucked in a breath.
“You okay?” Dex asked, squeezing his hand.
He nodded. “All good, Titch.”
The fifth box Nate opened contained the shoebox. His breath snagged in his throat as the memories of the night that changed his life came flooding back. He went to remove the lid but found he couldn’t.
“Here, you do it,” he said, pushing the shoebox across the floor to Jax.
Jax lifted off the lid and peered inside. A smile curved his lips upward as he lifted out a stack of Christmas and birthday cards. He passed them around, and they all took their time to open the cards and read the greeting.
“That’s it,” Nate said when Jax picked up the right envelope.
Jax withdrew the card and then opened it out. The letter fluttered to the floor. He opened the paper as though it was the most precious piece of parchment. He unfolded it and scanned the first page, his eyes moving over the words. When he’d finished with the top sheet, he began reading the second one. From Nate’s memory, that was Mom’s original letter which his sperm donor had returned for some reason. Maybe it was too painful for him because he’d actually loved them both and was trying to cut ties as a way of coping. Or maybe he was an unfeeling bastard who found it easy to compartmentalize, and once he’d accepted his affair was over, had quickly moved on.
“Well,” Calum said. “What’s it say?”
Jax raised his head. Nate could only remember one other time when his eldest brother had looked so somber, and that was the morning after their parents’ car crash. He’d sat them all down and given them the worst possible news in his calm, stoic manner that they’d all come to rely on.
Jax passed the letter to Calum, and he and Cole read it.
“Are there any other letters?” Jax asked Nate
“I don’t know. I didn’t get past that one.”
“I need to see if I can find any more,” Jax said, his face pinched as though in pain. “I totally get it if you don’t want anything to do with this, but I have to try to understand what was going on with Mom. Why she risked her marriage to Dad, and her relationship with all of us. I’m guessing your birth father must have meant a lot to her. There’s a huge amount of pain in her words when she wrote to break things off. If you want to go, I’ll understand.”
“I’m going nowhere,” Nate said.
Jax took a breath. “Okay, then let’s begin.”
They spent the next several hours searching through every single box, but apart from that letter, there was no sign of any other communication between Mom and him. Jax closed the final box with a heavy sigh. He stiffly got to his feet and dusted down his jeans.
“That’s it then.”
“I guess so,” Nate said, disappointment surging through him, despite his earlier insistence that he didn’t want to know anything about his real father. There must have been a small piece of him that was desperate to learn where he came from, but hurt and pain had prevented him from acknowledging it. Now they’d arrived at a dead end, he really wanted to know.
Jax checked the time. “I’d better get back and relieve Indie. Some husband I’ve turned out to be.”
“We’ll come with you,” Cole said. “Sorry, bro.” He squeezed Nate’s shoulder.
“Do you mind if I stay for a while?” Nate asked, and then with a quick look at Dex, “You can go back with them if you’d rather.”
“I’m staying,” she said, her jaw set in a determined fashion.
“No problem,” Jax said. He removed his cell from his pocket and tapped at the screen. “I’ve texted you the code. Just make sure you lock up when you leave.”
After they’d gone, Dex stood and wandered around the unit, touching various items as she passed by.
“You want to know, don’t you?”
He met her gaze. “I thought I didn’t, but yeah. Not that it matters. We don’t even have a name. Only an initial. L. Probably stands for fucking Lothario.”
“That’d be FL,” Dex said with a grin.
Nate stood. He peered inside several boxes that they’d already searched, and then his attention fell on the sideboard. A spike of hope made his insides twist.
“We haven’t checked this out,” he said, striding over and opening the top drawer. Apart from a couple of pens and some scraps of paper, it was empty. The next one contained an elastic band and an empty plastic box. One by one, he opened the other drawers. Nothing. Incensed when the last one didn’t have anything useful in it either, he slammed it shut.
“Goddammit.”
He scraped a hand through his hair, annoyed at himself for daring to believe he might find some answers. He was too busy pacing and muttering himself to notice what Dex was up to. The sound of knuckles rapping on wood got his attention.
“What are you doing?”
She glanced over her shoulder with a frown. “When you slammed this drawer before, it sounded different to the others. At first I thought it might be because you shut it so forcefully, but now I’m not so sure.”
Nate went to stand beside her. He removed the drawer from its runners and gave it a shake. Nothing seemed untoward. He set it on top of the sideboard and tapped the bottom. Sounded like a normal drawer to him. He removed another and repeated the action. Cocking his head to one side, he knocked on one and then the other. There was a definite difference in sound, although it could be something as simple as minute discrepancies in the raw material.
“See?” Dex said. “They sound different.”
Nate glanced around but couldn’t see any tools he might be able to use to prise the bottom of the drawer away.
“Here,” Dex said, handing him a bobby pin she’d taken from her hair.
He guided it between the side of the drawer and the bottom. It took several attempts, but eventually, the bottom lifted. Nate got his fingernail beneath it and pulled it up. He drew in a sharp breath.
Hidden away from prying eyes were bundles of letters, each one tied with a navy-blue bow. Nate picked them up, immediately recognizing the writing. Every single letter was from him.
His knees gave way, and he sank to the floor. Dex joined him, her presence a comfort he couldn’t find the words to express.
He dropped the letters in his lap, and then sat there, unmoving. Now he had potential answers within his grasp, he was finding it difficult to begin reading. It felt disrespectful to Mom to read intimate letters from her lover. No doubt she never expected them to be found, otherwise she wouldn’t have gone to such lengths to hide them. And for more than twenty-eight years, her secret had remained just that.
“Do you want me to go through them?” Dex asked tentatively.
He found himself nodding.
She picked up a bundle, carefully removed the ribbon, and scanned through the letters. Finding nothing, she put them to one side and moved onto the second bundle and did the same. “From the dates, it looks like this is when he started writing to your mom.”
She scanned each one, putting those she’d read to one side while she went on to the next one. By the time she started on the fourth, Nate’s curiosity got the better of him.
“What do they say?”
Dex lifted her
chin and met his gaze. “Whoever your dad was, Nate, he clearly loved your mom.” She passed one over. “Here, see for yourself.”
His fingers closed around the aged paper, yellowed around the edges and a little torn in places. The ink was faded, too, but the words were clearly visible.
My darling Rebecca,
As I sit here on my sofa all alone, my arms feel empty without being able to hold you. It’s been a long three weeks, and I can’t wait until you find a way to see me again. I know it’s difficult, but I love and miss you.
I do understand and hear what you said in your last letter. I know it is impossible for us to be together. You have your children to think of, and I have mine. But you mean the world to me. My life is so much fuller since we first met. The longer we are apart, the more I yearn for you.
Please get in touch soon.
Love always,
Your Laurence.
Laurence. His dad’s name was Laurence.
Nate picked up the next letter. As painful as it was to read such private and intimate thoughts, he had to carry on. He devoured the next few. All were in a similar theme to the first one, but then, toward the end of the second bundle, he found what he’d really been yearning for but hadn’t dared to hope. He sucked in a breath and fixed his gaze on Dex.
“Listen to this.”
My darling Rebecca,
Your news has stunned me. I’ve been sitting here for hours, reading and rereading your last letter. The light has faded, making your words harder to read, yet still I haven’t moved.
It’s clear to me now why you stopped coming to see me for all those months, but I do wish you’d been able to confide in me. It cuts me deep that you felt the need to deal with this on your own.
Oh, but my love, you’ve made me ecstatically happy and devastatingly sad. Happy because I now know there will always be a part of you and me in the world, an expression of our love, yet sad because I know I will never be able to tuck in my son at night, or soothe him when he’s sick, or sing to him and make him laugh. I will never be able to do all the things a loving father should do, but I respect your decision. You have three other children to think of, and I know it would tear you apart to leave them behind. Jaxon would never let them, or you, go. And I know you love him, too. I don’t begrudge you that.
Web of Lies: A Brook Brothers Novel Page 19