by Olivia Fox
I put my mouth on hers, sweeping my tongue across her lips. “Fine with me so long as I get to sample the wares.”
The more she got used to making my house her home, the better. She wrapped herself around me, as if she needed me not just to make her purr but also to see into her soul. To keep her safe from self-doubt, take her worries away, and help her grow to be a woman who believed she deserved all the good things that came her way.
“Plus, with the wages you’re paying me for cooking, cleaning, and yard work, I can pay back my sister. I owe her $1,000 for a rental deposit and $2,000 for credit cards plus interest. I’m gonna talk to her about a repayment plan that works for her. I should still have a little money left over for start-up costs for the business.”
“Baby, I’m happy to give you an interest-free loan for all of those things. It’s important Chloe gets her money back. It’d go a long way toward restoring your relationship with her.”
I knew Roxy would prefer a loan over a gift. She was working hard to right her wrongs, and paying out of her own pocket was part of the plan. Otherwise I’d have just given her the damn money. Soon enough, everything that was mine would be hers anyway.
I breathed deep, taking in the scent of her; it was a fragrance I appreciated more than the finest perfume. “Let your mind settle, kitten.” I stroked her long hair from the crown of her head all the way to below her shoulder blades. “You can work on your business plan tomorrow. Your Daddy's right here. I'll protect you while you sleep.”
In that moment, I never suspected there were just some things I couldn’t protect her from, no matter how hard I tried.
Chapter Fifteen
Lola was curled in a ball in my LV bag, which doubled as a purse. In the side compartment was a check for $3,000. Chloe had agreed to meet me for lunch and she didn’t know yet about my plan to pay her back what I owed her. She had every right to throw my past in my face.
The righteous citizens of Briarville stared long and hard as they drove past me walking to meet her at the Pinup Paradise Diner, and as soon as I opened the door, heads turned and stuck on their swivels. Gawking.
In this town, people made assumptions about who you were and tended to stick you with the label for life. I wasn’t sure how I would ever shake my bad girl reputation.
“You’re quiet, for you, Roxy,” Chloe mentioned.
We had been sitting at our booth eating our lunch. Focusing on the food was easier than broaching some of the awkward points I needed to cover with her to make things right.
“Look, Chloe, I would understand if you never forgave me for some of the things I did to you. Not sure if I could.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’re sorry? If so, it could be the worst apology I’ve ever heard.” She had every right to be angry. She sucked on her chocolate milkshake and glared at me.
“I’m sorry, Chloe. Really, really sorry. There is no excuse for the things I did to you.”
“That feels a little better. It would be unrealistic for you to expect me to drop everything and trust you. It’ll take time for you to prove you mean what you say and you won’t carry on with your messed-up patterns of behavior.”
“I get it. Pretty sure the whole town is on the same page as you.”
“Well, sometimes the saying ‘small town, small minds’ is true, but not always. You’re certainly not the only one who’s ever made a mistake in your life. I am curious though, why the change of heart all the sudden? Was it jail?”
The talk between us grew more natural, and I realized not only had I hurt her but also myself by missing out on years of enjoying her as my sister. Instead, my actions drove her away from me.
Chloe was supportive of therapy and my diagnosis, saying it made a lot of sense that medication and self-care would change my way of approaching life. She even offered to put me in touch with her friend Gracie who could help me expand my baking biz to online sales when the time was right. She gave me back my old cell phone. Dad had paid the monthly fee while I was in jail. Shit.
Before leaving, I gave her the money I owed her, which made her cry a little. Damn, I had put her in a tough spot. When I left the diner, I was more keenly aware of the damage I had inflicted, but my heart was full.
Flour covered the kitchen counter. There were wooden spoons, eggshells, and bowls full of ingredients covering its surface. Smells of heavenly cakes filled the air.
My happy place. I needed to nail down three top recipes to launch “Sprinkles.” The plan was to deliver free cupcake samples to service agencies and businesses, along with ordering forms.
“Hey, you, get over here and put your frosting on my cupcake.” Buck was standing at the door after his shift, looking hot as hell in his uniform.
“Ugh. Sorry it’s so messy. I’ll clean up. Try one of these.” I handed him a chocolate bourbon pecan pie cupcake. Eating one was like French kissing bliss to me, but I needed a second opinion, and bounced on my toes waiting for Buck’s reaction.
“Dear God,” he moaned. “Don’t tell me it’s actually good for me.”
“No, Daddy, but I am bound and determined to come up with a version for people who can’t eat sugar or gluten. It’s possible, I just have to experiment.”
“Mmmm, you look good in your apron. You know what they say about cupcakes like you?”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“You gotta peel ’em before you can lick ’em.” He crooked his finger at me, bidding me closer. Buck wrapped his huge arms around my waist. I gazed up at him, and he said, “A woman like you, Roxy, should be licked just like frosting. Until your whole body can’t bear to be wearing clothes anymore.”
He dipped down to take my lower lip in his teeth and then glided his lips across mine, licking at my tongue. First gently and then so dominantly, the frosting-flavored ravaging resembled a mating act.
“Officer, wouldn’t you be more comfortable out of your uniform?”
“You have a point, little lady. How about you relax, and I’ll take a shower?”
“The kitchen is a mess though.”
“Not a problem. I’ll take care of it. You unwind and wait for me.”
Now that I had a cell phone, I could finally log onto social media. Little did I know what a big mistake it would be.
So weird to see myself on Instagram posing for likes, as if any of it mattered. While scrolling through my pictures and trying to reconcile my current self with the old me, my eyes snagged on a comment under my pic.
“Drunky McDrunkerstein ain’t got no business posing. Her ass is locked up.”
And more….
“Ain't nobody wanna see a posing party pig.”
“That lush should just go kill herself and put us all out of her misery.”
It shouldn't have mattered. The people posting were online bullies, and their comments shouldn’t count. But their venom took my breath away. These were people who lived in my town.
I decided to check my email instead, and cocked my head at what I read there. “Are you kidding me? Who are these people? Don’t they have anything better to do?”
I pressed my hands to my stomach as I read, “This is going live soon,” the message threatened. It had been sent a week ago. “You have no business being with Buck. He's a good man and doesn't deserve to be stuck with someone like you. Get your hammered ass out of his house unless you want these pics to be the talk of the town.”
The email address was anonymous drunkfrontation1234@… subject: Drunkfail. I looked at the attachments and saw myself in scanty attire, clearly wrecked in every one of them. No idea who took the pics. In one, I was sitting on the toilet at the Saloon wearing a black tube dress, holding a cocktail in my hand, sipping it with a cigarette pinched between my fingers.
The next photo was as me tossing back a pint on St. Patty's day, letting it dribble down my chin and drip suggestively onto my cleavage.
Next, me wearing my steel gray bikini, the top of which had spread apart to reveal most of my ample breas
ts. I had to admit, the chi-chis looked good, but it definitely wasn't a vision I wanted out there for all the world to see.
I could imagine the captions now: “Officer O’Connor’s girl likes to flaunt her flesh.” My bikini bottoms were so small they should have been illegal. There was a bottle of vodka in my hand.
The worst attachment was video footage. I pressed Play and saw myself wearing a short, white skirt. I climbed on top of an outdoor table in someone’s backyard and started dancing. In an intoxicated fumble, I fell off onto my back, revealing a red thong between my legs.
I felt a sudden urge to escape and run away. My heartbeat like a hummingbird's as I cringed at the thought of Buck being exposed to this now.
It was wishful thinking to believe it could work out between Buck and me. As if six months behind bars would make the past go away.
It was still here in boozy, living color. People had visual evidence to use against me. I didn't know why they wanted to ruin what Buck and I had.
I started to ugly cry when it sank in, not only did the inhabitants of Briarville want to use my past mistakes against me, but in so doing, they would damage Buck’s reputation. I couldn't do such a thing to him.
I swallowed what felt like a walnut in my throat and blew my nose loudly into the tissue. This roller-coaster ride was too much—one minute thinking things were going great and I was figuring out my life, the next minute having venom and hatred directed at me. “Goddammit!” I stomped to the guest room with my puppy under my arm.
When I set her on the bed, Lola started bouncing on her front paws, attacking my leftover Kleenex and whipping her head from side to side, tearing it to pieces. I started laughing.
I really was psycho. Ping-ponging back and forth between crying and laughing. What was the matter with me?
As I petted Lola’s soft fur, his voice behind me said, “There's nothing a matter with you, kitten. In fact, there's everything right about you.”
I startled, not realizing I had spoken out loud.
“Oh, Buck, you have no idea what they’re saying online about me. I'll never make it in this town. I can never be your significant other. It's bad enough people will use the past to get back at me, but their hatred will make people think badly about you. I can't allow that to happen!” I started sobbing again.
“Come on, cupcake, this is a bump in the road, not the end of the journey. The two of us can make it through anything.” He handed me a tissue. “Don't let those troglodytes rain on our parade.”
“Why aren’t you listening to me? I feel like you’re not hearing me one bit.”
“Because you, baby baboon, I love you. I couldn’t care less about what other people think! For God’s sake, I have loved you with my entire being since I was seven years old. If it were possible, I would have married you back then.”
Say something, Roxy. Oh my God, please say something. You can’t just be silent when he’s offering you his heart. Even I, Ms. Emotional Cripple U.S.A., understood that.
But no matter how I tried to find the right words, no matter how much I wanted to live the fairy tale he was offering and believe in happy ever after, I couldn’t. I was frozen. For once in my life, during the moment when having words mattered most, his devotion had rendered me speechless.
Powerless, I watched as my silence sank in and Buck’s posture altered. The fortification of his body wall bowed in on itself. He sat on the bed and put his head between his hands.
I picked Lola up and went into the kitchen to clean up my stupid cupcake mess.
Some things were better left unsaid.
Chapter Sixteen
I heard her in the kitchen, opening the dishwasher, running water.
Blowing her nose like a foghorn.
God, I adored this sweet brat.
And I’d be damned if I’d let her tell me what to do. Not how this was going to play. I didn’t survive freakin’ Afghanistan only to come home and be told by the love of my life it was time to move on. Not happening.
I gave exactly a rat’s ass what people thought about Roxy or me. What they thought of us was none of my damned business.
“Hey you.”
Sniff. Honk.
“My timing was off I guess.”
“I don’t knooooooooooow.” Her voice trailed off on a wail, which made my heart heavy.
“Let’s leave it then. I’m in no hurry. I got all my life to wait for you, baby girl.”
“Why are you being so nice to me? I’m a terrible person.”
Sniff.
“I’m willing to hear your concerns, Roxy. I’m all ears. But I told you I won’t allow you to run yourself down. You’re my princess, and I won’t have anyone talking shit about my baby. Including you.”
Radio silence.
“I know you. I can handle your dark side. I want it all, all of you. It’s time you took a risk ’cause life doesn’t wait. Besides, you know what they say.”
“No, I don’t,” she pouted, “but I have a feeling your telling me is going to involve another one of your corny quotes.”
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
“Sounds dirty.” She harrumphed a half-assed giggle.
“Why not go out on a limb; where you’ll find the fruit? Two fruits like us.”
“Where do you even come up with this stuff?”
“Lot’s of hanging out in close quarters with other airmen. We had to entertain ourselves somehow.”
She turned slowly toward me.
One step. Two.
She launched herself into my arms and cried on my chest.
I waited.
“I’m so sorry, Daddy. So sorry I was mean and didn’t tell you how much I love you. I’ve loved you forever too.” She hugged me tight. “You put your arms around me, and I’m home.”
“Look at me, kitten.” I lifted her chin. “Repeat after me: I’m safe now.”
She looked sideways, inspecting the kitchen counter.
“Are you deliberately disobeying Daddy?”
“I feel silly repeating after you, and I feel like I’ll never be viewed with respect in this town.”
“Try again,” I rumbled harshly.
“I’m safe now.”
“I don’t have to worry, because Daddy will take care of me.”
She half-heartedly stomped her foot and repeated after me.
“Do I need to make you write those lines, little monster?”
“No, please! I’m not worried. Daddy takes care of me. I’ll be good.”
She leaped at me and threw her legs around my waist. I put my hands on her ass and carried her easily into the bedroom.
I knew a brat who needed taming, and I was just the man for the job.
Chapter Seventeen
I tucked Lola in her little basket, which was lined with pink. She was already sleeping. When I turned around, Buck crooked his finger at me. “Come here, kitty.” He motioned me toward him.
His commanding tone of voice made my stomach flutter, and I wondered what he had planned for tonight. “Go put this on for Daddy.” He opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a tissue paper package tied with a teal bow.
“Those dang drawers are like a bottomless pit.”
“Baby girl, you have no idea. Now, do what I said.”
I returned wearing a lacy see-through bralette and nothing but a garter belt with a thong in the back so my ass cheeks were fully exposed. My middle swelled out over the front of the panty bottoms, but according to Buck’s hungry stare, he was apparently okay with it.
When I reached him, he stood up, fully clothed, and said, “Stand with your feet shoulder width, hands behind your head, and pull your elbows back so your tits stick out for me.”
Lord, his ability to go from tender to commanding in zero to sixty seconds got me gushy. “Is this how you treat all of your suspects, Officer O’Connor?”
“That’s Daddy to you, miss. You’re my sex kitten for today.”
He walked si
lently around me, inspecting my posture and attire. I could feel gentle touches occasionally as he circled me and scrutinized my appearance. It made my breath shallow. He stopped behind me and stood noiselessly, allowing the tension and expectation to draw out as the moment extended into two, three.
Finally, Buck demanded, “Cross your hands behind your back.” He proceeded to bind my wrists and forearms with what felt like a silk scarf.
“Baby girl, lay over my lap.”
I lowered my substantial stomach onto his lap; my head hung down over the side. I closed my eyes, not knowing when or how the spanking would be delivered, but aware at this point in time resistance was futile.
My senses were on high alert. I could feel Buck’s heat on my belly, cool air on my vulnerable heinie, and Daddy’s palm as he began to slowly caress my naked cheeks. My hands were tied against my back, the tips of my fingers barely touching the curve of my lower lumbar.
“What did I do this time?” I asked, trying to delay the punishing blows. Distraction was a good tactic. On that note, I rose up on my tiptoes, shoving my tush in the in the air, trying to improve his view so dessert came before the entree.
“Tonight, my kitten, I will spank you because you let insignificant people get under your skin. If you are a very good pet, then you may get a treat after your spanking.” Fiery liquid spread over my naked pussy at his words.
He began to gently tap my bottom, going from one cheek to the other, patting a slow rhythm, increasing my responsiveness. He stopped briefly, rubbing his hands over and around my ass, taking time to massage the muscles found there.
He skimmed his way down to my wet slit, causing a whimper to leak out of my mouth. “Mmmm, this is the fairest, little-bitty pussy in all the land. Look at those pretty princess parts.”