The Coast of Utopia: Voyage, Shipwreck, Salvage

by Tom Stoppard

  HERZEN (stung) I’m sure he does—I’m told she’s a countess.

  NATALIE I see. Well, if it’s only a countess …

  She leaves the room abruptly, leaving Herzen baffled. Belinsky is now on his knees on the floor, puzzling over some small flat wooden shapes, one of the toys. Bakunin loudly calls for attention.

  BAKUNIN My friends! Comrades! I give you a toast! The liberty of each, for the equality of all!

  There is a mild, dutiful attempt to repeat the toast.

  HERZEN What does that mean? It doesn’t mean anything.

  BAKUNIN I am not free unless you, too, are free!

  HERZEN That’s nonsense. You were free when I was locked up.

  BAKUNIN Freedom is a state of mind.

  HERZEN No, it’s a state of not being locked up … of having a passport … I am devoted to you, Bakunin, I delight in the fanfare, no, the funfair of your pronouncements, I would name my child for you, but equally I would name you for my child, because everything which is simple you make difficult and everything difficult simple. You’ve made yourself a European reputation by a kind of revolutionary word-music from which it is impossible to extract an ounce of meaning, let alone a political idea, let alone a course of action. What freedom means is being allowed to sing in my bath as loudly as will not interfere with my neighbour’s freedom to sing a different tune in his. But above all, let my neighbour and I be free to join or not to join the revolutionary opera, the state orchestra, the Committee of Public Harmony …

  TURGENEV This is a metaphor, is it?

  HERZEN Not necessarily.

  SAZONOV An orchestra is a very good metaphor. There is no contradiction between individual freedom and duty to the collective—

  HERZEN I’d like to be there when they play.

  SAZONOV —because being in the orchestra is the individual right.

  HERZEN We all missed it, Plato, Rousseau, Saint-Simon, me …

  BAKUNIN The mistake is to put ideas before action. Act first! The ideas will follow, and if not—well, it’s progress.

  HERZEN Belinsky—save me from this madness!

  BELINSKY I can’t fit the pieces together to make a square—it’s a children’s puzzle, and I can’t do it …

  TURGENEV Perhaps it’s a circle.

  Natalie enters and hurries to Herzen, making it up with him.

  NATALIE Alexander …?

  Herzen embraces her.

  GEORGE Mir geht es besser. [I feel better.]

  BELINSKY Turgenev’s got a point …

  EMMA Georg geht es besser! [George is feeling better!]

  The dialogues which follow are written to be ‘wasted’. They are spoken on top of each other, to make a continuum of word-noise.

  BELINSKY Our problem is feudalism and serfdom. What have these Western models got to do with us? We’re so big and backward!

  TURGENEV (to Belinsky) My mother’s estate is ten times the size of Fourier’s model society.

  BELINSKY I’m sick of Utopias. I’m tired of hearing about them.

  Simultaneously with the above dialogue:

  BAKUNIN The Poles should go in with the Slavs. Nationalism is the only movement that’s reached a revolutionary stage. A rising of all the Slav nations! Let me finish! Three necessary conditions—break up the Austrian Empire—politicise the peasants—organise the working class!

  SAZONOV (talking over Bakunin) Some of the Poles think you’re a Tsarist agent. The French despise the Germans, the Germans distrust the French, the Austrians can’t agree with the Italians, the Italians can’t agree among themselves … but everybody hates the Russians.

  Simultaneously with the above, the Servant enters to talk to Herzen.

  HERZEN (to George) Du riechst wie eine ganze Parfumerie. [You smell like a perfume shop.]

  GEORGE Wir haben der Welt Eau de Cologne und Goethe geschenkt. [Eau de cologne and Goethe, we gave to the world.]

  SERVANT (to Herzen) Il y a deux messieurs en bas, Monsieur le Baron, qui retiennent deux fiacres. [There’s two gentlemen downstairs, Baron, keeping on two cabs.]

  HERZEN Allez les aider à descendre leurs baggages. [Please help with the luggage.]

  SERVANT Hélas, c’est mon moment de repos—c’est l’heure du café. [It’s my time to go to the café, alas.]

  HERZEN Bien. C’est entendu. [Of course. I quite understand.]

  SERVANT Merci, Monsieur le Baron. [Thank you, Baron.]

  The Servant leaves.

  NATALIE (talking over the above) And Heine!

  EMMA Und Herwegh!

  NATALIE Yes! Yes!

  EMMA Du bist so bescheiden und grosszuegig. Schreibst du bald ein neues Gedicht? [You’re so modest and generous. Are you going to write a new poem soon?]

  GEORGE Ich hasse solche Fragen! [I hate you asking me that!]

  EMMA Verzeihg mir—sonst weine ich. [Forgive me—don’t make me cry!]

  Kolya enters in search of his top. All the conversations cut off into silence simultaneously, but ‘continue.’

  Turgenev and Belinsky are finally interrupted by Herzen (see reprise at end of Act One), signalling a general break-up and exodus, still ‘silent.’

  Turgenev and Sazonov help Belinsky with his valise and parcels.

  Kolya is left alone.

  There is distant thunder, which Kolya doesn’t hear. Then there is a roll of thunder nearer. Kolya looks around, aware of something.

  There is the growing sound of a roaring multitude, of rifle fire, shouting, singing, drumming … and a female voice, representing the famous actress Rachel, singing ‘The Marseillaise.’

  Red banners and the Tricolour.

  Natalie enters, picks up Kolya and takes him out.

  [The monarchy of Louis Philippe fell on 24 February 1848.]

  MARCH 1848

  Exterior (Place de la Concorde).

  [Herzen’s memoirs: These were the happiest days of Bakunin’s life.]

  Bakunin flourishes a huge red banner on a pole. He has just encountered KARL MARX, aged thirty. Marx is carrying a yellow-wrapped book, The Communist Manifesto. Turgenev is gazing around in astonishment. A pigeon evidently excretes onto his head. He reacts.

  BAKUNIN Marx! Who’d have thought it?!

  MARX It was bound to happen. I was expecting it.

  BAKUNIN Why didn’t you tell me? All our lives we’ll remember where we were when France became a republic again!

  MARX I was in Brussels, waiting for the first copy of The Communist Manifesto to come from the printer …

  BAKUNIN I was in Brussels, too, waiting for La Réforme to arrive with my open letter to the French government …

  TURGENEV No! I was in Brussels! … The Barber of Seville … Can I have a look?

  Marx gives him the book.

  BAKUNIN I’ve been on my feet twenty hours a day—

  MARX Minister Flocon said that with three hundred more like you …

  BAKUNIN … preaching rebellion, destruction …

  MARX … France would be ungovernable.

  BAKUNIN I’ve been living in barracks with the Republican Guard. You won’t believe this, but it’s the first time I’ve actually met anyone from the working class.

  MARX Really? What are they like?

  BAKUNIN I’ve never come across such nobility.

  TURGENEV (reading) ‘A ghost is going round Europe—the ghost of Communism!’

  BAKUNIN A Polish National Committee has already been set up in Prussian Poland to plan the invasion of Russia. I’ve got to get there. Turgenev, this is the last thing I’ll ever ask of you—

  TURGENEV Ask Flocon.

  BAKUNIN You think the Provisional Government will give me the money to go to Poland?

  TURGENEV I’m certain of it.

  MARX (to Turgenev) You’re a writer. Do you think there’s something funny about ‘the ghost of Communism’? I don’t want it to sound as if Communism is dead.

  Herwegh enters in red, black and gold military uniform.

  BAKUNIN Herwegh!
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  MARX (to Turgenev) Do you know English?

  TURGENEV Fairly well. Let me see … (in ‘English’) ‘A ghost … a phantom is walking around Europe …’

  HERWEGH (somewhat embarrassed) What do you think?

  BAKUNIN Nice. Are you a mason?

  HERWEGH No—I’m in command of a brigade of German Democratic Exiles. We’re going to march on Baden!

  BAKUNIN March all the way to Germany?

  HERWEGH No, no, we’re going to the frontier by train—I’ve got six hundred tickets.

  TURGENEV Did Flocon give you the money?

  HERWEGH Yes, how did you know?

  BAKUNIN Wonderful!

  HERWEGH It was Emma’s idea.

  TURGENEV I knew you weren’t really a poet. Only a poet. Have you had any military experience?

  HERWEGH Emma says whether you’re a poet or a revolutionary, genius is genius.

  BAKUNIN She’s right. Look at Byron.

  HERWEGH Byron wrote far too much, actually.

  Turgenev returns to pondering the book. Emma enters. She, too, is in military mode, with a red, black and gold cockade. She is accompanied by a small shop boy in the livery of a fashionable store, who is burdened with elegantly wrapped parcels. He may have a small pushcart in the same livery.

  MARX (intervening sternly) Just a moment, Herwegh!

  Then Marx sees Emma.

  EMMA I’ve got provisions for the march, my angel—the most wonderful little meat pasties from Chevet, and a turkey stuffed with truffles—

  MARX Scoundrel!

  EMMA He’s got to eat, Karl. Come with us to the Champs Élysées—George is going to review the troops!

  Marx is now beside himself with rage. He pursues the Herweghs out.

  MARX Adventurist! By what right do you interfere in the economic struggle with this diversionary folly?

  EMMA Don’t take any notice of him, darling.

  MARX Victory in Europe will be decided between the proletariat and the bourgeoisie!—only ceaseless propaganda and agitation …

  The shop boy follows Marx and the Herweghs out.

  TURGENEV (thoughtfully) ‘A spook … a spectre …’

  BAKUNIN (transported) This is what it was all for, from the beginning … studying Kant, Schelling, Fichte … with Stankevich and Belinsky … with you in Berlin, do you remember, you in your lilac waistcoat, I in my green, walking down Unter den Linden talking furiously about the spirit of history …

  TURGENEV (jogged) ‘A spirit … a spirit is haunting Europe …’

  BAKUNIN We were on a journey to this moment. Revolution is the Absolute we pursued at Premukhino, the Universal which contains all the opposites and resolves them. It’s where we were always going.

  TURGENEV (taps the book, triumphantly satisfied) ‘A hobgoblin is stalking around Europe—the hobgoblin of Communism!’

  He closes the book, looks up and ‘shoots’ twice.

  Natalie and NATALIE (NATASHA) TUCHKOV, aged nineteen, enter rapidly in high spirits. Natasha’s hair is wet. Natalie has a tricolour wrapped round her as a shawl.

  NATALIE Vive la République! Vive la République!

  The two women have entered the next scene.

  15 MAY 1848

  A different apartment, near the newly completed Arc de Triomphe. Herzen is with Kolya, holding Kolya’s palms to his—Herzen’s—face.

  HERZEN Vive la République, Kol-ya! (to Natalie) Where did you get that?

  NATASHA Everybody’s wearing them!

  Natalie and Natasha are in a state of ecstatic, romantic friendship in which everything is joyous or hilarious or soulful.

  NATALIE It’s a present for you from Natasha.

  HERZEN Well … thank you.

  Natalie removes the ‘shawl’ and presents it to Herzen, leaving herself déshabillée but only her shoulders and arms actually bare.

  HERZEN (cont.) But you’ve got no clothes on.

  NATASHA I’m wearing them!

  NATALIE Poor darling, she arrived wet through, so I said—

  NATASHA ‘Take off your clothes! At once!’

  NATALIE I made her put on my dress.

  HERZEN Of course. I had no idea you had only one dress. In fact, my impression was that you had a dress shop …

  NATALIE But I want her to smell of me, and I want to smell of her—

  NATASHA You smell like camellias …

  Natalie inhales rapturously from Natasha’s hair.

  NATALIE Russia!

  Mother enters.

  MOTHER Natalie!—suppose the servant came in … ! (taking Kolya) Look at your terrible mother … If this is what goes on in a republic … (to Natalie) There’s a letter for you.

  NATASHA It’s from me!

  Natalie and Natasha embrace. Herzen drapes the flag over Natalie as a manservant, BENOIT, opens the door to admit Sazonov with an air of condescension.

  SAZONOV Citoyens!—you’re back at last …

  Natalie and Natasha dash out past Sazonov, who is thrown off his stride. Benoit follows the women out.

  SAZONOV (cont.) And who was the young …?

  HERZEN (lightly) My wife has fallen in love … We met the family in Rome, they’re neighbours of Ogarev back home.

  Mother accepts Sazonov’s bow.

  MOTHER We arrived back ten days ago. (to Kolya) Come on, it’s time for your and Tata’s tea …

  HERZEN Maman, ask Benoit to post this for me, please …

  He puts his written sheets into the prepared envelope and seals it.

  MOTHER The Marquis? All right, but he’s grander than the last one—the last one spoke, the new one always seems about to ask me to dance …

  Mother leaves with Kolya, leaving behind Kolya’s top.

  HERZEN French servants were the biggest surprise. I knew you weren’t allowed to send them into the army or sell them … but nothing prepares you for their amazing efficiency, politeness and absolute lack of calling.

  SAZONOV Forget France! Don’t you see?—our time has come. The Russian government is in an impasse. They won’t want to be the pariahs of Europe. They’ll have to make a gesture.

  HERZEN Oh, they will! They’ll cancel all leave for the Cossacks, Tsar Nicholas will be the last righteous ruler in a wilderness of cowards and constitutions.

  SAZONOV No, history is being made! Russia is going to need a liberal cultured ministry, men with European experience. Have you thought of that?

  HERZEN I promise you, I never have.

  SAZONOV Well, the government will have to appeal to us.

  HERZEN You and me?

  SAZONOV Well, people of our circle.

  HERZEN (laughs) Which ministry do you fancy?

  SAZONOV You can laugh … but the stage is now bigger than your little articles for the Contemporary.

  HERZEN Nevertheless, the workers are marching on the National Assembly this morning … so let’s see if the elected government acts like republicans …

  There is a transition to some hours later, with a sound of rioting.

  Herzen enters tired and angry. Turgenev is shown in by Benoit.

  HERZEN (cont.) (to Benoit) Du vin. [Wine.]

  Benoit leaves.

  HERZEN (cont.) So, what do you think now of your democratic republic?

  TURGENEV Mine? I’m a tourist like you. You should be asking what the Parisians thought of it … and the remarkable thing is, you couldn’t tell. It was as if they’d bought tickets and were interested to see how it would turn out. The lemonade and cigar sellers circulated, very content, like fishermen hauling in a good catch. The National Guard waited to see which way it was going, and then set about the mob.

  HERZEN The mob? Workers marching behind their banners.

  TURGENEV Invading the National Assembly to demand the self-abolition of an elected parliament which happens to be not to their taste.

  HERZEN Turgenev!—you talk to me of taste? A republic behaving like the monarchy it displaced is not a failure of aesthetics. This is a republic by superstition
only, by incantation. Vive la République! But it turns out the Republic makes revolution unnecessary and, in fact, undesirable. Power is not to be shared with the ignoramuses who built the barricades. They’re too poor to have a voice.

  TURGENEV It was an insurrection, and order has triumphed.

  HERZEN Well, don’t imagine today was the end. When the lid blows off this kettle, it’ll take the kitchen with it. All your civilised pursuits and refinements which you call the triumph of order will be firewood and pisspots once the workers kick down the doors and come into their kingdom. Do I regret it? Yes, I regret it. But we’ve enjoyed the feast, we can’t complain when the waiter says, ‘L’addition, messieurs!’

  TURGENEV Goodness me … the sins of the Second Republic won’t bear the weight of this revenge drama of cooks and waiters. The Provisional Government promised elections. Elections took place. Nine million Frenchmen voted for the first time. Well, they voted for royalists, rentiers, lawyers … and a rump of socialists for the rest to kick. You have a complaint? A coup d’état by the organised workers, and a salutary period of Terror, would put that right. You could be Minister of Paradox, with special responsibility for Irony. Herzen … Herzen! For all the venality you see around you, France is still the highest reach of civilisation.

  Natalie and Natasha enter with George, who is shorn of his beard, moustache and dignity.

  HERZEN (puzzled) Yes …?

  TURGENEV It’s Herwegh, back from Germany.

  Benoit follows with glasses of wine.

  HERZEN Ach, mein armer Freund … [Oh, my dear fellow … ]

  NATALIE There was a price on his head!

  Herzen embraces George, who bursts into tears.

  HERZEN Trink einen Schluck Wein. Du bist ein Held! [Take some wine. You’re a hero!]

  Herzen gives a glass to George. Turgenev, Natasha and Natalie take glasses from the salver.

  HERZEN (cont.) (toasting) Auf die Revolution in Deutschland! [To the revolution in Germany!]

  GEORGE Dankeschoen, danke … [Thank you, thank you … ] (toasting) Auf die Russische Revolution … und auf die Freundschaft! [To the Russian revolution … and to friendship!]

  NATALIE To friendship!

  NATASHA And love!

  TURGENEV (toasting) Vive la République!

  HERZEN (toasting) A bas les bourgeois! Vive le prolétariat!

  Benoit, leaving, registers pained reproach, just perceptibly.