By the time I return to the cabin, I’m in need of a shower, food and a comfortable bed. However, as I turn the corner, I can see that I’m not alone and my heart quickens even more if that’s possible. Leaning against the bonnet of a sleek powerful car, is a man who compliments it completely. Watching me with predatory eyes and a hard expression is the man never far away from my thoughts.
Sebastian Stone.
My pace slows as I walk toward him, ready for the showdown I see coming. He watches me through a hooded expression and I feel my pulse quicken and my breathing change, labored and hard.
As I near him, he uncoils like a spring and stands tall and firm. “We need to talk.”
Shrugging, I feign indifference and stand watching him with anger in my eyes. “Fuck off, Sebastian, I have nothing to say to you.”
His mouth twitches and he moves an inch and I feel the desire betraying the irritation inside me. “I think you do, Angel. In fact, I think you have a lot to say to me and rightly so.”
I make to reply and he holds up his hand. “Save your smart remarks because I have something I want to show you.”
The curiosity beats down my sharp retort and I say roughly, “I bet you do.”
Nodding toward the cabin, he says huskily, “Get changed and meet me in the car. It’s not far.”
“What, don’t you even want to come inside? That’s not like you, honey, from what I remember, you always wanted to come inside.”
I can’t help reverting to filthy remarks to disguise how unsettled he makes me and he shrugs. “We both know one step inside that door and I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions. I want you Angel, you know that but I want you to see the man I’ve become, while I struggle to understand the woman I made you into.”
“You really are an arrogant asshole, Sebastian. Do you really think I would be so weak as to fall into your arms the minute you crook your little finger? Do you really think you’ve made me the woman I am because newsflash, you haven’t? The only person who controls me is myself and if you came into that cabin it wouldn’t change a thing. You are still the man who turned his back on me and betrayed me. You are still the man who is engaged to my sister and allowed my father to control his destiny and you are still the man who judges me because he doesn’t understand shit. So, fuck off, Sebastian and grow some manners because you are now seriously getting on my tits.”
I turn to leave and then squeal as I am suddenly airborne and hoisted over an extremely overbearing shoulder and dumped unceremoniously into the passenger seat of his car and strapped in before I know what’s happening. I make to speak and once again his infernally hot mouth covers mine and possesses my sharp tongue with his. As Sebastian kisses me for a third time, I lose my mind. I hate him and love him with equal passion. I crave him and yet detest him and allow him to weaken me at every turn. I should fight back like I’m trained to do. I should haul him off me and punch him where it hurts but I don’t. I fold into him like I always have and allow him to own me like he always has. I was fucked by Sebastian in every way possible and yet none of that matters when I feel his touch. This is exactly why I need to run because the only one I can’t trust around us is myself.
Chapter 20
Sebastian
The relief when I saw Angel head round that corner hit me like a tidal wave. Thank God. Seeing her looking like one hot sexy mess had the blood rushing to every part of me that she controls. I knew if I followed her into that cabin what happened next was inevitable. Despite her words, I saw the need and hunger in her eyes and it mirrored my own. I came here to show her what sort of man I am. I came to beg her forgiveness and show her that the past five years mean nothing now she’s back. But first, I need to show her that we’re not so different after all and the only way I can do that is to show her my life.
“This changes nothing you know.”
“What?”
“That kiss. You see, honey, I’ve kissed many men since you and that, well, it meant nothing, I’m just saying.”
“Keep telling yourself that, darlin’.”
“I will and you know why, because it’s the truth. You see, Sebastian, I’ve moved on a lot since I left and found much more exciting propositions than you. In fact, I only came to get this over with. You see, I know you need to show me something, as you put it but it changes nothing. The facts are still staring us in the face and you can’t change that. So, wherever we’re going, I hope it’s quick because I want some ‘me’ time before I whip Moretti’s ass tomorrow.”
I let her speak because I can tell she’s babbling just to disguise her true feelings. Hell, we both know that’s why she carries on. She’s telling herself more than me because I see the brightness in her eyes and the nervous tapping of her foot that she always does when she’s agitated. I see the tremble to her lower lip and the flush in her cheeks. Angel has never looked more desirable right now and it’s with a superhuman effort on my part that keeps this car in motion because I am tempted to pull over and bring her to my lap and lose myself in the woman who means everything.
Instead, I allow the asshole in me to take over and turn the music on to drown out her words. She immediately turns it off and shrieks, “You fucking asshole. How dare you silence me with Spotify? What’s the matter, don’t you like the truth? I’m not one of your airhead cheap dates who just wants your dick inside me and to hell with conversation.”
Laughing, I turn it back on, reverting to the cocky teenager who loved to irritate the hell out of the girl beside me. For a while, we play the game of our past and wind each other up as we’ve always done. Angel puts on a big show of anger but I see the light in her eyes. I see that she’s enjoying this every bit as much as I am as it becomes the usual battle of wills between us.
Luckily, it’s not far and soon the end of the journey signifies the end of our game when I pull into the lot of Blacks.
As Angel takes in the sight of the club I call home, I see the understanding dawn in her eyes. “You have got to be kidding me. Blacks?”
“You know of it.”
It surprises me because only those who know the scene will understand what this name represents. She laughs softly and says with her usual husky drawl. “It appears that I’m not the only whore in town, Sebastian.”
Fixing her with a stern look, I say roughly, “It’s Sir to you inside these walls.”
I can see she is struggling not to laugh but I also see the excitement in her eyes as I take her hand. “You see, baby, when you left, I made a vow. There would be no other woman until I found you and begged you to come back. This place has satisfied the physical side of me with no questions asked and no feelings getting in the way. So, I suppose what I wanted you to know, is that if any of us became the whore, it was me.”
I see the tears behind her eyes as she whispers, “You?”
Nodding, I raise her hand to my lips and kiss it, savoring the soft skin of the woman I love. “I’m sorry I made you feel bad about what you became. I’m sorry I judged you because I have no right to. We are no different and if anything, I am far worse because inside these walls, I use women for sex and then walk away. There are no feelings involved from either side and yet, knowing you as well as I do, I know that feelings were what drove you to do what you did. Those men...” I break off trying not to imagine her with any of them “Those men, gave you what I could not. They gave you a form of love that I know you needed. I apologize for being the one who made you run. I am sorry for not being good enough to hold on to you and I apologize for being weak and easily led. I want you to see what sort of man I became because I need to beg for your forgiveness from an even playing field. I don’t deserve you but I want to fight for you now and will do whatever it takes to make you mine again.”
As I break off, I almost hold my breath. I did it. I laid my heart bare and now Angel has the power to change our lives forever.
There’s a short silence and I swear I hear every beat of my heart before she says softly, “Then show me.”
I
look at her sharply and she smiles. “Show me the man who is known as ‘sir’ inside these walls. Show me your world, Sebastian and I will show you mine.”
Nodding, I exit the car and move around to open the passenger door. As I take her hand and help her from the car, I can only pray that I’ve done the right thing. It’s make or break time for me now and I hope that Angel understands this world I move around in. If she doesn’t, and looks at me with disgust in her pretty little eyes at the end of it, I may as well be dead because without her I have nothing.
Chapter 21
Angel
I am so excited I can’t breathe. I know this place. Blacks is a BDSM club and there’s a chain of them around the country. Logan Black is connected to Ryder’s wife Ashton, her brother married Logan’s sister Samantha and I know all about what goes on inside these walls. I have never seen inside one and it excites me way more than it should.
Thinking of Sebastian as a part of this world should shock and repel me but it doesn’t. It makes my heart swell because now I know he’s telling the truth. He loves me. He used this place like I used the Rubicon. A place to hide inside and keep our feelings outside the door. A place to seek comfort and forget the past. We are no different and never were. Now I know why he brought me here and for the first time since I arrived, I see the spark of hope lighting my way. Maybe, just maybe, we can put the past behind us and salvage something of what we once had from the nightmare of the last five years.
My heart quickens as we head through the large, black wooden door. The soft lighting and mirrored hallway create a serene calm atmosphere that I know disguises what really goes on inside here.
We approach a reception desk where a man waits watching us with interest. He nods to Sebastian. “Mr. Stone. It’s good to see you, sir.”
Keeping hold of my hand, Sebastian nods. “Victor. I would like to sign in my guest, Miss. Johnson.”
Victor looks at me appraisingly and I feel my cheeks redden as I remember what a hot mess I must look. I am still dressed for running and my hair is spilling out of the band holding it back. The exercise clothes I wear are soaked with perspiration and any make up on my face wore off ages ago. Sebastian, meanwhile, looks super cool and chic as always. He’s dressed in a slick dark gray suit with a white shirt open at the neck. His dark hair is short and sexy and the stubble on his jaw drives the desire straight to my core. He hasn’t let go of my hand yet which should annoy me but only serves to give comfort like he always did. No, Sebastian’s hand belongs in mine, it always did and now it’s back where it belongs, I kind of hope it will stay there.
I sign in and the man regards me coolly, looking me up and down, no doubt wondering what the hell Sebastian is doing with me. “She’ll need a collar.”
I look at Sebastian in surprise and he nods. “She will.”
“What? I’m not being chained to you.”
Drawing me to one side, Sebastian whispers, “It’s for your own protection. An uncollared woman inside these walls is a target for any Dom on the prowl. It doesn’t mean anything, just a way of showing the others you’re not available. Of course, we are only here to observe but we have to play by the rules.”
Feeling irritated, I just nod. “Ok, have it your way... sir but outside of these walls nobody controls me, got it?”
I watch as Sebastian’s eyes flash and he leans forward and whispers, “Relax, darlin’, you never know, you may enjoy being controlled by me.”
Rolling my eyes, I pull away and reach for the collar the man has laid out on the desk. Before I can place it around my neck, Sebastian takes it from me and without breaking eye contact, lifts the hair from around my neck and the feel of his cool fingers on my skin, reminds me of how much I crave his touch. He fastens the collar and his hands linger on the back of my neck as he spins me around and whispers huskily, “Perfect, then again, you always were.”
I see the desire in his eyes and I swallow hard. This is going to be tough because wanting Sebastian will be a feeling intensified by what I’m about to witness through those doors. Knowing this is what he does for fun will only make me desire him more. I already know that because looking into those dark flashing eyes, just reinforces the fact that we are going to happen and it won’t be long before it does.
With Sebastian’s hand in mine, we head into Blacks. The gentle beat of soft music creates a welcome that makes everything almost appear normal. I see a bar in the corner of the room which is where we head and I don’t miss the curiosity in the eyes of the bartender as she watches us approach. Due to the early hour, there are not many customers and the place is large and mainly empty. Sebastian nods and says coolly, “Two house specials please, Skylar.”
She smiles politely and I see her assess me as she registers my collar and Sebastian’s hand firmly planted in mine.
As she turns away, I don’t miss the disappointment in her eyes and I whisper, “Is she one of your... um... you know...”
He laughs. “No, she just provides the drinks.”
I feel a little surprised because I didn’t miss the longing in her eyes when she looked at Sebastian and yet I’m not surprised. He’s always been that guy. The one the girls all wanted and the most popular at school. I suppose that’s why Anastasia wanted him for herself. She told me as much but it was always just us.
Sebastian leans in and whispers, “I should just remind you that inside these walls life is very different. If we are approached by another Dom, you must not look at him directly unless asked. Submissives speak only when addressed and the fact you are wearing the collar should deflect any awkward questions. Just go along with what I’m saying for once in your life and just observe.”
Biting back the immediate response his words prompt, I just nod. “Whatever you say, sir.”
I laugh to myself as I see the lust flare in his eyes and once again, I realize just how much I want this man. Unlike the Reapers, Sebastian feels familiar. Like a favorite coat or a comforting blanket and with him wrapped around me, I feel safe and warm. I always knew returning here would be hard, and it still is because I am wavering as I always knew I would and being here with him, in his world, is where I know I was always meant to be.
Chapter 22
Sebastian
I wish I knew what she was thinking. Bringing Angel here was a gamble that could backfire at any time but I had to. I’ve judged her harshly and if we are to move on and stand any chance of being together, she needs to know this side of me. But being here with my two words colliding is an experience that could go either way.
As she sips her drink through a straw, just seeing them wrapped around it makes me imagine all sorts of deprivation and being here is like lighting a match to a can of kerosene. Angel has never looked so desirable as she does at this moment, stripped of all the finery women dress themselves in. Looking natural and unspoilt, disguising the fact I drove her into a world she should never have inhabited. What happened to her will always be down to me and I just hope I can forgive myself because the pain sits like a hard ball of anger inside my gut at what I made her do to survive. If she’ll forgive me, I want to care for her and treat her the way she was always meant to be treated—forever.
I squeeze her hand a little tighter and know it’s time. Leaning forward, I take the drink from her hand and say huskily, “Follow me.”
I see the excitement flare in her eyes and she licks her lips making me want to do it for her. Just simple acts drive me insane with this woman and I am keen to get this over with so I can re-enact the fantasies in my head that have been building for five lonely years.
She follows me as I approach another door at the end of the bar which leads to the various rooms and alcoves that enable the members to play out their scenes. I feel the familiar stirrings as I hear the sounds of screams and moans as we head through the doors and feel the nerves of the woman beside me.
There are a few observers who look at us with curiosity as we make our way inside. Angel stays close as we reach the first
observation point and we see a woman strapped to a cross naked, while her Dom whips her with a bullwhip. Her screams are of pleasure mingled with pain and I feel Angel tense beside me as she witnesses the scene before her. She starts to shiver as the woman’s scream pierces the air and says fearfully, “Why is he doing that?”
“Because she wants him to.”
“Why would she want that… pain, I mean?”
“Look at her Angel. She’s loving it. She is so turned on right now and that’s because with every stroke of pain he delivers pleasure. Some women like to feel the bite of the bullwhip but an experienced Dom will not cause pain, merely pleasure.”
Her eyes are huge as she takes it all in and she whispers, “Do you… um…”
“No, I’m not into whipping my subs.”
Once again, she falls silent and I hate the fact I know exactly what she’s thinking. This was a huge risk because I am laying myself wide open here. If Angel doesn’t like what she sees, I will become more of a monster than I already am in her eyes. I couldn’t bear to see that disgust directed at me and so, I take a deep breath and move onto the next room.
Here a woman is bound on all fours, while a Dom enters her behind. He appears to be riding her like a horse and has a riding crop that he taps on her buttocks as she groans, “Harder, master.”
Angel inches closer to me and holds on even tighter as the sounds of sex fill the air. Watching others scene is always a turn on like it’s designed to be and there are many willing subs watching the events hoping for a scene of their own. Inside these walls it’s all about the pleasure sex can bring. It’s bringing the utmost pleasure to a woman or man, that no vanilla couple would ever understand.
I’m not sure if it’s Angel’s thing, but she has to see this. We walk along and despite the hour of the day, the rooms are filled. In one two men are pleasuring one woman, in another two women are enjoying each other. Anything goes here, and it’s all done with consent and within the rules. In the brief moments the couple, or participants, are together, they are devoted to each other. There’s a trust and an understanding that the only thing on the agenda is pleasure. No strings attached and no judgment. This is what this place is, a sanctuary for people who like sex and enjoy the art of it. Many couples come here and enjoy the thrill it gives them and there are many single people who just enjoy a different partner.
Completing Beauty: Books 1-3 Page 11