She starts to sob and yet I say nothing. I will not let words snap her back from the past; she needs to get this out. So, I stroke her hair carefully and she says in a small voice, “We were going to run away. He told me we would get married and be together, away from the world we both lived in. Be a normal couple and find a place together and get married, have kids, you know the sort of thing most normal people take for granted. I fell for his words because I truly thought he meant them. It was exciting and I couldn’t agree fast enough. That day we met and took a cab to a motel in the next town. We checked in under false names and it felt like we had broken out of prison and the dark clouds cleared. I was so in love with him and couldn’t wait for our new life. We unpacked and Carlos wasted no time in taking something I was only too happy to give him.”
She stops and cries a little harder and my heart freezes as the fury consumes my soul. “He was so cold and rough. I thought it would be magical and like the stories tell you. It was anything but and hurt like hell. If I felt anything, it was pain and he still didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop, even when I cried and told him it hurt. He placed his hand over my mouth and told me it always did the first time and to shut up before someone called the cops. I never thought it would end and prayed it would be over soon because I have never felt such pain.”
I almost wish I never asked because now I’m feral. Imagining what that fucking bastard did to this woman leaves a bitter taste for revenge in my mouth. Revenge I know has already been claimed by another and I can only hope it was a painful end for a man who makes Satan look like an angel.
She sobs hard against my chest and still I say nothing. Just stroke her hair, over and over again as I try to drive the image from my mind of a man who raped a girl while she begged him to stop.
“I didn’t know it was wrong, Maverick. I thought it was like that for everyone. He finally stopped and just lit a cigarette and told me to go and get cleaned up because he couldn’t bear the smell of me. Even then I didn’t question him. There was so much blood everywhere and I felt sick. I still feel that cold water of a dirty shower that had probably never been cleaned, as I washed away my sin. The blood mingled with the dirt and made me feel ashamed. I still remember how empty I felt when I should have been so happy. I suppose I took too long because when I returned, he’d gone.”
She slumps against me and starts to cry and I know it took a lot for her to get those words out. The feelings she has are ones she’s had to live with all these years and yet it’s as if they’re still raw and never gone away. Time has not been a great healer in her case because this woman is as broken as they come. So, I do nothing but continue to hold her as she cries like a baby and as my arms tighten around her, I take her pain and make it my own.
She says no more and I don’t press her. If anything, she’s exhausted, so I pull back and wipe her tears away and say as softly as I can. “Listen, darlin’, that took a lot of guts to share that with me and now you need to rest. Lie down on my couch and I’ll find you a blanket. You can rest here while I fix us something to eat. I won’t be long and nobody will disturb you here. Are you ok with that because I don’t think you should be on your own right now?”
The gratitude in her eyes makes my heart break all over again as she nods shyly and lays her head on the cushion and closes her eyes. A lone tear falls as her lids close and my heart twists inside. She looks so fragile lying on my leather couch and as I reach for the blanket nearby, I am careful to tuck it around her without disturbing her. Just for a minute, I take a long look at the beauty sleeping so peacefully on my couch. It took all of a few seconds for her breathing to change and the tears are still damp on her cheeks as her face falls into a relaxed pose. Without the fear and anxiety pinching her features, this woman shines. She is majestic and yet has an innocence that is the opposite of who she should be. A polished, flawless diamond in a stinking pit and she shines despite the filth that surrounds her. Strangely, I feel my own tension leave me as I look at her lying there and feel an irresistible urge to lie right beside her and just marvel at what nature can create. Instead, I drag my sorry ass to the kitchen and do as I promised and make us some food to help get us through a long night ahead.
Chapter 9
Sophia
For the first time in more years than I can remember, I sleep with no nightmares to tear at my soul.
When I wake, the shadows dance with the light as the day turns to dusk and I feel the cool leather against my cheek. For a moment I think I’m back at home in the mansion with Tobias—my brother. A sudden dart of worry pierces my heart and I sit up quickly, only to find a gentle hand reaching out and a gruff voice say, “Relax, darlin’, you’re safe.”
Turning, I see Maverick sitting beside me looking like hell and I stare at him in concern as he rakes his fingers through his hair and stares at me with pain-filled eyes. To my surprise, my first thought is of him and reaching out, I do something I’ve never had the bravery to do before and lightly stroke his cheek, saying with concern, “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He almost flinches under my touch and it makes me draw my hand back quickly as if it burns and I feel like a fool. He doesn’t want me to touch him, it’s obvious, he is just doing his job, after all.
As I look down, he reaches across and lifts my face to his and the fierce fire that blazes back at me makes me catch my breath as he growls, “What’s wrong, darlin’, is that everything’s changed.”
I feel the panic setting in as I sense change and wonder if he’s having second thoughts about helping me. It must show in my expression because he groans and pulls me close once again and whispers against my hair, “I’m not sure you’re safe with me. This was a bad idea.”
My first thought is to run because the fear of rejection is too much to bear because he is the first man I have ever opened up to and it’s obviously sickened him, so I make to pull away and he holds on tight, growling, “You’re going nowhere.”
“But…”
“You think I’m done with you, you’re wrong. You think your sorry tale has put me off, you’re wrong. You think you’re on your own, you’re so wrong. The reason everything’s changed is because we’ve changed. How can I walk away now? How can I turn my back on something that stirred feelings inside me I never knew were possible for me? When you opened up to me, Sophia, it triggered a reaction that I never saw coming. Watching you sleep, cemented a feeling I knew as soon as I saw you in the forest. Your problem is my problem and that is why everything’s changed. I don’t want this, hell, I’ve been running from it for as many painful years as I can remember. I let no one in and that’s just the way I like it. But you—you’re different and that is what I’m finding so hard to reason with. You see, Sophia Moretti, you are trouble for me and I don’t like trouble. My first instinct is to run. Take off and never look back.”
“Then why don’t you?”
My heart beats so fast it’s like a pressure cooker building steam and once again I feel an incredible urge to do something I’ve never done before. So, with a bravery that comes from nowhere, I stare at those malevolent eyes and whisper, “Will you help me, Maverick?”
I can see he’s conflicted and fighting an inner battle that I can only watch from afar, praying the right emotion will win in the end because I want something from him, I never thought I’d ask for.
His breathing is erratic and any control he once had is hanging by a thread as he says gruffly, “What do you want from me, Sophia?”
Closing my eyes tightly shut, I press my lips to his before I can change my mind and for a moment, I think he’s going to pull away. There’s a slight hesitation and yet I keep my mouth pressed to his until he groans and grabs the back of my head and grinds his lips to mine in an act of pure desperation. My lips part as he forces them open and as his tongue enters my mouth and claims its territory, I feel a shiver pass through me that ignites a fire inside that has been waiting its whole life for a spark. His scent fills my senses and his rough stubble grazes
my skin, reminding me this man is no gentleman, he’s rough, dirty and feral and it feels amazing.
Then he pulls back and it’s like a bucket of icy water dousing the flames as he tears away and groans, “This isn’t right.”
Once again, I feel the rejection and the tears burn as I say in a small voice, “Then I’ll go.”
I make to stand and a hand shoots out and grasps my wrist so hard I wince with the pain and he says roughly, “I said you’re going nowhere. What I mean is, this isn’t right because you have just told me something that changes things. I don’t want to be another monster taking advantage of a young innocent girl. That’s not what happens here. You trusted me and I’ll not take advantage of that. The thing is, you have asked for something I am only too eager to follow through for my own selfish reasons. But not now, not under these circumstances and not until you are sure.”
“But…” His hand silences my mouth and his eyes soften into two liquid pools of desire mixed with yearning. “I want you Sophia, so badly I don’t know what to do about it. My greatest fear is that you won’t want me when you know the truth and so I’m shutting this down now, before either of us gets hurt. I’ll not be the man who takes advantage of a young girl who doesn’t know what dancing with the devil involves, so settle back and I’ll give you that food I promised and you can tell me why the fuck you think you killed your parents.”
His words bring me back to reality and I slump back against the seat and feel the pain twist inside me like an angry knife that just won’t go away. He reaches across and grabs a plate filled with a sandwich and some potato chips and says huskily, “Eat, there’s some water here to keep a clear head. You’re to eat and tell me the rest, so we can work out what we’re gonna do about it.”
I nod with an acceptance that surprises me. He wants me to open up to him and I thought I already had. But he wants it all. The whole sorry tale and the bare bones of my soul. He will not rest until I have shared something with him of which I’m not sure I can form the words, let alone say out loud, so while I eat, I try to work out how on earth I’m going to get through the night ahead.
Chapter 10
Maverick
Watching Sophia eat is torture of the worst kind. Every mouthful she takes reminds me of a very different thing we could be doing right now, but I’m not ready for that. The fact she’s even here is going against every instinct I have because Sophia Moretti is my ruin. She just doesn’t know that yet and I’m the fucking idiot for letting her bring me down.
She finishes up and hands me the plate gratefully. “Thank you, I didn’t realize how hungry I was.”
Our fingers brush as I take the plate and that one simple act causes every nerve in me to stand to attention.
Setting it down on the side table, I say gruffly, “So, what happened next?”
She looks down and my first instinct is to grab her hand and hold it in mine, squeezing it with a reassurance she badly needs.
Sighing, she says in a sad voice, “I waited for Carlos for the whole day and night. I thought he’d gone for food, but it soon became obvious he wasn’t coming back. His bag was gone and I felt like such a fool it took me so long to register that simple fact. I was destroyed, Maverick. I felt used, dirty and like a cheap whore who surrendered something so valuable to a monster. I hated myself more than him and that feeling has never left me. After a while, I faced the facts and called a cab to take me home. The trouble was, as soon as I got there, I knew something bad had happened.”
She breaks off and puts her head in her hands and the grief visits her for a second wave. I rub her back and say nothing because she needs to deal with this in her own way.
“There were so many guards, I knew immediately something bad had happened. They were running around with an urgency that was different. Once the cab stopped, I was told to go inside and not look back. As soon as I stepped foot inside the door, my brother Tobias was there looking so angry I feared for my life. I thought he’d found out what happened and was disgusted with me. He was - just not for the reason I thought. He grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs to our parent’s room. I was so scared, but he said nothing until he opened the door and ushered me inside.”
She looks up and the terror in her eyes shows me she’s back in that room as she breaks. “There was so much blood. It was everywhere. It looked as if something had been butchered in my parent’s room. Blood on the walls, the carpet and on the silken sheets. I remember retching as I struggled to breathe and Tobias gripped my face and made me look, telling me I had done this.”
She starts to sob and my murderous rage transfers to her brother this time. Fucking bastard. But I know him. I know the man he is and that’s what hurts the most. I understand him.
Then she raises her eyes to mine and says in a whisper, “Then he dragged me downstairs to my father’s den where it was a similar scene. Blood absolutely everywhere, even more than upstairs it seemed. Then he yelled at me that Carlos had used the information I fed him against us. While Tobias and Thomas our other brother were out, he had stormed the mansion with his men and killed everyone in their path. There was no warning and no time to defend themselves. When Tobias and Thomas returned home, they found a bloodbath. Thomas was out seeking revenge and as it happens, returned to us in the worst way possible.”
Now she’s shivering as the ghosts of her past hold her captive and she says in a painful voice, “He arrived in pieces inside a plastic bag. Dumped at the gates like a pile of trash as a stark reminder of everything that is bad with our world.”
She looks at me with a haunted expression and says with a quiver to her voice, “Maverick. The pain was too much to deal with. I thought my heart was going to give out on me because it tore me apart. However, it was nothing like the pain Tobias felt because I saw him break before my eyes. You see, Thomas was his twin, they were part of each other and a part of Tobias died along with him that day and it was all my fault. I had given the monster the keys to our door and let him blow it apart with the worst kind of explosion.”
For some reason, as the last word leaves her lips, she changes before my eyes. The mask slips back in place and any emotion is shut tightly behind it. In a hard voice, she says bitterly. “We all changed that day. There was no light in our life, just the darkness. Tobias went on a killing spree and slaughtered every member of the Toledo family - personally. He bathed in their blood and had no mercy. He was a beast whose hunger never left him. Revenge became the air that he breathed and I thought I had lost him too.
Then it turned out that the only man left standing was the one responsible. Carlos Toledo was the man who escaped time and time again, and when he returned, it was to finish what he started.”
Sophia looks at me with the blank expression of a woman who has lost it all. I can tell she is broken all the way to her core and she shakes her head and says with a voice devoid of emotion. “I’m sorry, Maverick, but I can’t deal with what happened next. I’m not ready for that. Maybe I never will be, but thank you for hearing me out. Now you know what a monster I am. I live in a world where life has no meaning. I’m a pampered princess who was never given the option to live a normal life. I deserve everything that I have to live with because of my own stupidity. If Carlos is dead, which I’m pretty sure he must be right now, I’m only sorry it wasn’t by my hand. You see, I’m a monster of the worst kind and should be left to rot with my own tainted memories because I don’t deserve to live, when I have ruined the lives of so many.”
She nods and stands and says in a hollow voice. “Thanks for your help but I’ll be going now. I need to be on my own.”
As she makes for the door, I spring into action. God only knows what possesses me to do what I do next but I can’t let her leave like this—like she’s the one responsible and so, I reach out and spin her against my body and lock her against me tightly. With a growl, I fist her hair and grind my lips to hers and devour those lips that spilled such devastation and claim them for my own. I press her aga
inst me and hold her there until the thin fabric of our clothes becomes an irritation and I growl, “You’re going nowhere, darlin’. You see, you and I are two of a kind. You think I’m some kind of knight in shining armor. You think my hands are clean, well, newsflash, baby, I’m a fucking killer. I have killed more men than your brothers combined and I would do it all over again if it meant cleaning the streets of trash like Carlos Toledo. You think I judge you because of your story—wrong. I live with my own nightmares and you will learn to do the same. People like us are survivors, darlin’ and you will find a strength inside you that helps you deal with what happened. Just for the record though, you killed no one. Your family knew the risks involved in living the life they did. If Carlos was allowed inside your mansion, it was because your parents failed to protect themselves, not because of any information you gave out. You think I don’t know the life you lead? I know it more than most.”
“How?”
She pulls back and looks at me with many questions burning in her eyes and I shake my head. “I don’t do mafia, honey. I don’t want anything to do with them and I have my own reasons for that. This isn’t about me though; it’s about you and you are not leaving until I say so.”
“You can’t keep me here.”
My heart lifts as I see the woman she was trained to be resurface and push the frightened girl away. Those green eyes flash with a superiority that reminds me of the mafia princess she is. The anger clouds her expression and makes me laugh inside. Sophia Moretti is a warrior, she has just lost sight of that for a while, so I growl, “You asked me to help you and I will. Now, what do you want me to do first?”
I already know her answer by the way she lifts her head defiantly and looks me straight in the eye and says firmly, “Show me how it was supposed to be.”
Completing Beauty: Books 1-3 Page 39