by Bella Jewel
“Magnolia isn’t my fuckin’ problem.”
I’m hurt by that. We’re all family, even if the two of them never got on, we’re still part of the same line and it makes me angry that he doesn’t give a crap about her.
“She is your problem, if King were still here he’d help me out. You’re just being a fucking big ... dick.”
Samson snorts and Kendric puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing just a little, probably in warning, but he should know by now that I don’t do warnings. Hell, I would have avoided a lot of problems in my life if I weren’t so hot headed.
“Leave,” Alarick warns, his jaw ticking with rage.
“No, I’m not leaving. You’re going to help me because my sister is in trouble.”
Alarick looks over to Mykel, who is leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. “Take her back out the door you brought her in because I fuckin’ know it was you that let her in here.”
“I think we need to hear her out, Prez. We’re not cold enough to let Magnolia be out there in trouble and not do fuck all about it.”
“Not your call, Mykel.”
“Might not be my fuckin’ call, but I’m goin’ to be helpin’ her with or without your permission.”
The two glare at each other, and I know I have to intervene, so I say the one thing that I know will make him help me. “I’ll go to the cops then.”
I spin on my heel and walk toward the front door.
“Well fuckin’ played,” Alarick growls.
I stop, a big grin on my face, but I don’t turn around with it. I wouldn’t dare poke the bear that hard.
“It won’t take up much of your time. I just need to try and locate her and then I’ll get out of your way for good.”
He stares at me, his eyes hard. “I don’t want you back here after I’ve helped you. That fuckin’ clear?”
Ouch.
My heart aches as I stare at the man I once thought of as my whole world. Now, he hates me.
“You don’t need to be a dick the whole time, you know.”
“Treating you accordingly. Don’t like it, find someone else.”
“Why are you so cruel?” I snap, feeling the pressure building in my head as anger takes over.
“I’m not here to talk about feelings. You want my help, you do it without fuckin’ complaint.”
“God,” I screech. “You’re a fucking asshole!”
He steps closer, leaning a little closer to me. “Get fuckin’ used to it.”
Oh, my god.
What a jerk.
“You’re a fucking pig! Seriously!” I yell loudly, throwing my hands in the air. “You know what, I’ll find someone else to help me. Fuck you.”
I spin on my heel and storm toward the front door but my head stops me. A sudden sharp pain, clearly brought on by yelling, has me wincing and gripping the sides, dropping it forward as the pounding pressure becomes too intense. Sometimes, when I’m not thinking about it, I actually forget I have a life-threatening tumor in my fucking brain. I forget that I have to have a surgery that could kill me.
I forget all of it.
Until the crippling pain reminds me I can’t escape it.
“Hey, whoa,” Mykel says, grabbing me and spinning me around toward him. “You okay?”
I can’t even answer him. The pounding is so hard I feel like I’m going to vomit all over the floor. Oh, god.
I am going to vomit all over the floor.
I lurch forward and fall onto my knees, retching in the most horrifying way as the pain becomes too much to bear. I wail in between retching and grip my head so tightly it feels like I’m going to push my fingers through the sides of my skull.
“Briella, hey,” Mykel says, now on the ground beside me, his hands on my shoulder.
“What the fuck is goin’ on?” Samson asks. “Get some water.”
I clench my eyes closed and try to take a few deep breaths; I don’t want to vomit all over this floor but I can feel the burning bile creeping up my throat as the pain threatens to do me in. I need to calm down. If I don’t calm down, I’m going to end up hurting myself even more. I do know one thing—I need to go to the hospital. I can’t risk my life by ignoring this.
“Mykel,” I croak, between pants of pain. “Take me to the ER.”
He must look at someone, because suddenly Alarick is leaning down in front of me, his face showing concern, which is surprising. “What’s goin’ on?” he asks.
“Please. Just leave me alone,” I snap. “Mykel, please, take me to the ER now.”
Mykel moves quickly then, scooping me into his arms and carrying me out to his truck. He puts me in and pulls my seatbelt over me.
“You fuckin’ tell me what’s goin on with her,” I hear Alarick order.
“You’ve done enough, Prez,” Mykel mutters. “I’ll handle this.”
“You fuckin’ call me, Mykel.”
Mykel slams the door and drives the car out of the lot and toward the hospital.
“You doin’ okay?” he asks me.
“Yeah, I just have something going on. It’s nothing to worry about,” I lie. “But I just need to see a doctor.”
“You sick?”
“No, no,” I mumble. “It’s fine. I promise.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t say anything more, either.
He knows I’m lying.
I know I’m lying.
But right now it’s all I have.
7
THEN – BRIELLA
16 YEARS OLD
“Ugh,” Magnolia whines, throwing herself onto my bed and spreading her arms out, her drama really taking front. “I wish Mom and King weren’t so damned strict. I mean, he runs a biker club for crying out loud. If I want to go to a party, I should be able to go. I’m so over this.”
“I feel you,” I murmur, glancing at my phone, hoping that I’ll get a message from my boyfriend, Xander.
We only just started dating a few weeks ago, much to everyone’s disgust. It’s like they’re all in denial that their once sweet little girl might actually want to grow up and have a life. I’m with Magnolia here, I wish they weren’t so strict. The party that’s on tonight is one I’ve been waiting for for at least two months. It’s the biggest party of the year, and I want to go so damned bad.
“Let’s just sneak out,” she says, sitting up, her eyes lighting up at the thought.
“We’ll be slaughtered if we sneak out. King would have those bikers trailing us everywhere.”
“Not if he doesn’t know,” she points out. “What if we wait until they’re in bed, or out, and we just go. No one will ever find out because we’ll be back by morning.”
I hate to admit it, but it’s tempting. I really want to go to this party, and I really want to see Xander. The only way I’m going to be able to do either is to sneak out. I grin at Magnolia and she immediately claps her hands and squeals with delight. Then, in a hushed tone, she says, “We have to act sulky still, otherwise they’ll know. We’re pissed they’re not letting us go, we need to keep being pissed.”
“Sounds like a plan. What time are we going to get out?”
She thinks on it for a moment. “Well, Mom usually goes to the club at around nine, but if not she will be here and go to sleep around the same time. I think if we wait until about ten, we should be safe.”
“Let’s go ten thirty, just to be sure.”
She nods. “Okay, perfect, I’m so freaking excited.”
“Me, too. But remember, let’s act like we’re not happy about it. Yeah?”
She claps her hands and then tells me she’s going to find an outfit to wear. She disappears out of my room and I text Xander, telling him the plan, and then I delete the message. He doesn’t reply, but I figure he’s probably just busy. I mean, he’s the most popular guy in school, being two years older than me at seventeen, so he’s likely playing football or something along those lines.
I try not to think about it.
�
��Still sulkin’?”
I look up from my phone to see Alarick standing at my door. I grin at him, because it’s been a few days since I’ve seen him. Now that he’s twenty-three, he’s out and about a lot. He also spends most of his time at the club with everyone there. He’s fitting right into that life, which is what King wants but sometimes I wonder if it’s what Alarick wants. He doesn’t say much about it.
I know by the time he’s thirty, he will be running that club.
That’s a scary thought.
“I’m not sulking,” I say, shrugging. “It is what it is. How come you’re here?”
He doesn’t live here anymore. He moved out with his best friends Cohen, Kendric, Samson and Mykel who are all part of the club as prospects, and since then I barely see any of them. Which makes me a little sad because I miss Flick. I miss all of them. I like spending time with those guys. The club life is everything now, and I know they’re doing things that aren’t exactly legal.
That comes with the life, I suppose.
Mom keeps me right out of it, but I’m not stupid.
I’ve been there, I’ve overheard conversations, I know what goes on.
“Had to drop Sissy off. Heard you weren’t allowed to go to a party and you were up here sulkin’.”
“Who told you that, Sissy or Mom?”
He grins. “Sissy.”
“Then of course it was dramatic. Way over the top.”
He snorts. “Probably right.”
I stare at him and, as always, I’m in awe of how handsome he is. I’m a girl, I have eyes, I know what is good looking and what is not, and Flick is gorgeous. My friends are always begging to come over here or begging me to take them to the club so they can catch sight of him and his friends.
He’s filling out now. Gone are any teenage boy features. He looks like a man now, with growing muscles and face hair that’s very, very masculine.
I look away, cheeks flushing, because it’s weird, right? I mean, me staring at my step-brother. Not that he’s ever ever been a step-brother to me, not really. He’s always been something different. A protector, sure, but never a brother. He’s never felt like a brother. He’s never acted like a brother. And I’m kind of glad because he’s the very best friend I have, and I’d never want to see him like that.
Ick.
It would make those times I used to run into his room scared of the thunder and crawl into his bed really, really weird.
I smile as I remember those nights, where I’d curl into his side and he’d gruffly tell me to go back to my own bed, because it wasn’t okay that I was hanging onto him for dear life, but he’d never kick me out. He’d let me lie there, pressed into his side, until I fell asleep.
Our friendship has always been ... I don’t know ... deep.
“Mag’s told me you’ve got yourself a man.”
I roll my eyes and stand, walking over to the mirror and staring at my reflection. My blond hair is long and thick, perfectly straight of course because that’s how we all keep it now. My eyes are bright from the makeup surrounding them and my face is changing. I, too, don’t look like a little girl anymore. I’m starting to look a lot more like Momma, which is fine because she’s so beautiful. My body is filling out, I’ve got boobs that are far bigger than I ever would have wished for and a booty that’s starting to fill out my jeans a little too well.
Xander told me I have a hot body, because I’m not skinny like all of the other girls.
But that only made me feel like crap because, well, isn’t skinny what we all want to be?
“Yes,” I finally answer Flick. “I have a man.”
He walks in closer and stands behind me, glancing at me in the mirror. “Who?”
“You’re not going to go all big brother on me, are you?”
“Never been your big brother, Briella. Never. Not for a fuckin’ second, but you know how I feel about some of those fuckers you hang around with. So, I’m askin’, who are you going out with?”
“Xander,” I tell him, my cheeks going a little flushed at his words.
His protectiveness has always made me feel something inside. Something I’m not quite sure I understand.
“You’re fuckin’ kidding me, aren’t you? That guy is a fuckin’ sleeze ball. He fucks everything that moves.”
My cheeks burn now, with frustration and anger. “No he doesn’t!”
“Yeah, he fuckin’ does. I know his older brother. I’ve seen him at the club a few times when they’ve come round for a party. He is a little dick.”
“Well, we must be thinking of a different guy because he’s nice to me.”
“Is he?”
My lips form a tight line. “Yes, he is.”
“You’re too young for a guy like that.”
I spin around, glaring at him. “I’m sorry, last time I checked you go out and fuck everything that moves and you’re trying to tell me I’m too young. I’m not too young for anything. I’m turning eighteen at the end of this year, it’s time you accept I’m growing up.”
“You’re too young to be fuckin’ a guy like that.”
“I’m not fucking him, Alarick,” I snap. “I’m not even thinking about it!”
“Well, let me tell you somethin’. He is thinkin’ about it, and he’s goin’ to try.”
“And I’m not going to let him,” I growl. “I do have some self-control and respect.”
“You need to be careful. Men like that take what they want, regardless. He has a bad reputation. You’re stupid if you trust him.”
I’m angry now, and with a growl I demand he leaves my room. He stares at me, and then with a loud exhale turns and walks out.
He never argues.
I think sometimes he finds it easier not to.
Either way, he’s wrong.
I know he is.
Xander is good to me.
Right?
“YOU LOOK SUPER-HOT tonight,” Xander says as we both stumble down toward the lake after the party, which was so freakin’ epic I’m glad we snuck out for it.
I lost sight of Magnolia a few hours ago, but she text and told me she’d be back at home before morning. I hope she follows through because if she doesn’t, we’re both dead. So far, so good, Mom hasn’t figured out we’re gone and there have been no phone calls demanding we come home.
That’s a plus.
“Thanks,” I murmur, sitting down onto the cool grass with a thump that’s a little too hard for my bottom, and I whine in protest as pain shoots up my spine.
Slower next time.
“Whoa, you okay?” Xander asks, sitting down beside me and grabbing me around the waist, pulling me closer. “Here, I’ll hold you up.”
I giggle. “I thought the ground was a little closer. I think I had too many beers.”
“Don’t worry,” he murmurs, tucking me into his side which feels really nice, “I’ll take care of you.”
See?
Alarick is wrong. Xander is sweet. All night he’s done nothing but help me, get me drinks and take care of me. He hasn’t once done anything inappropriate. Alarick has no idea the kind of guy he is. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he knows what all men are like.
I rest my head on Xander’s shoulder and stare out at the lake. It’s nice out here, cool with a fresh breeze that tickles my face every few minutes. It’s very romantic, and I’m glad we decided to come here alone. I haven’t had any time alone with Xander all night, and I’ve been craving it so badly.
“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” he asks, his hand sliding up to stroke over my thick, long hair.
“I did. What about you?”
“Fuck yeah. I’m glad you snuck out. It wouldn’t have been the same without you.”
My heart does a little flip flop. “Ditto.”
“Is it too forward if I tell you that I really want to kiss you. Fuck, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.”
Me, too.
I’ve only ever kissed one man, and it was the most aw
kward, most horrible night of my life and a time I never want to think about again.
I kissed Flick one night at the club.
He rejected me, of course, because I was only sixteen and drunk for the first time and threw myself at him. I cringe as I remember that moment. The moment I went up onto my tiptoes and kissed him. Even though it was wrong, I still remember how it felt. I can’t deny that it felt really good. The way his stubble scratched my face. The way his big hands fell to my hips just before he pushed me away. The way he tasted so damned good. It was the worst kiss of my life, and yet it was the best at the same time.
I’ll never forget what he said to me that night. His words ring over and over in my head often, and neither of us have ever spoken about it since.
“As much as I’d love to kiss you, Briella, and believe me I fuckin’ would, I’m not goin’ to do that. I’m not goin’ to kiss you because you’re too young and it would be wrong. Not to mention you’re drunk and I’m not the kind of man who would ever take advantage of that. One day I’ll kiss you, but I promise you when I do, you’ll never think of anything else. I’ll be your last. Just you remember that.”
I sometimes wonder if he thought I forgot about what he said, because the very next day things went back to normal and he never mentioned it again. He continued on dating other women and acting like he’s always acted around me. It was almost like I dreamt the moment that our lips collided. Like I dreamt those words. I spent weeks with the biggest crush on him after it, thinking he’d say something else, give me some sort of indication that he might feel something for me.
He didn’t.
He came home with a girlfriend three days later, and I was crushed.
But that was nearly a year ago.
And I shouldn’t be thinking about him when I’m here now, with Xander, and he’s going to kiss me and make me forget Flick’s lips ever touched mine.
“I’d like it if you kiss me,” I say softly, turning my head to face his.
“Well, in that case ...”
He leans forward and, for a moment, I think it’s going to be the epic kiss. The one that takes my breath away and makes me forget everything else. The one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. The one I’ll tell my daughters about. The kiss that forever marks you.