The memories surged up. Colin had been everything Tobias had grown to hate. He’d been a monster, a bully, a thug … he’d hit Tobias and mocked him and shoved his head down the toilet and … and everything. Tobias stared at the console, hands clutching the controls as panic yowled through his mind. It couldn’t be Colin. The marine had had the voice that haunted his nightmares, but … it might not be Colin. The bastard had been shipped off for National Service, the last Tobias had heard. Tobias had hoped Colin would run into a zombie and die. The virus wouldn’t infect him. Colin was too foul to be infected. And yet … he couldn’t get rid of the thought. It was Colin.
He felt his hands start to shake. He’d thought the navy was safe. There’d be aliens trying to kill him, but … he’d thought Colin had been left behind on Earth. His thoughts ran in mad circles. Colin had followed him. He’d gotten himself assigned to Lion just to torment Tobias still further. And … and it was just a matter of time until he caught up with Tobias once more. The thought was unbearable. He’d finally found his place; he’d finally found a peer group that treated him as though he mattered and … his old tormentor had followed him. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair.
Maybe it isn’t him, Tobias told himself desperately. He didn’t know much about the Royal Marines - he’d never bothered to research a unit he knew he’d never join - but he’d heard they recruited from everywhere. The marine he’d seen might be someone else from Liverpool. The accent was hardly rare. Maybe it’s someone who just sounds like him.
He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. He wasn’t a child any longer. He wasn’t … he scowled, realising that - in truth - he hadn’t really grown up. Colin still haunted his dreams, the mere thought of the bastard reducing him to a quivering puddle of jelly. No one would help him, if Colin came after him again. Why would they? Colin had always gotten away with it in the past, gotten away with everything from name-calling to brutal bullying that had nearly gotten people killed. Tobias would have pledged himself to the worst person in the world and served him faithfully if it had meant protection from Colin. God knew the Beast hadn’t been up to the task. The bastard had liked Colin. He couldn’t expel someone who’d led the football team to victory, to a petty, pointless victory …
It might not be him, Tobias thought. He focused his mind. There was no point in panicking over nothing. He might be terrified of someone who’d never met him before now, someone who’d never heard of Tobias or Colin or anyone, someone who would be more than a little bemused by Tobias’s reaction. It might not be him.
He leaned forward, keying the display. The gunboat was directly linked to the starship’s datanet, including the personnel files. Tobias had played with the system often enough to know he could get into some of the files, although there was a very real risk of setting off alarms if he poked into the classified sections. The navy seemed to trust its crewmen not to play games with the files. Tobias smiled, remembering when he’d hacked into the school’s network. The system had been so heavily protected that altering the files had proven impossible.
And I couldn’t have gotten as far as I did without an access code, he thought, remembering how he’d watched the teacher use the computer often enough to be sure of the code. The man had grown up in a world where everyone had a computer on their desks, but he hadn’t thought to protect his code. He’d probably never considered someone watching as he entered his PIN and memorising it. It was a shame I couldn’t alter the files to get Colin expelled.
He put the thought aside as he started to skim through the files. The navy didn’t seem to care if crewmen looked at the basic files, for reasons that escaped his comprehension. One of the old sweats had said something about making sure a person did have a navy file, even if it was classified so highly that no one was allowed to look at it without signed permission in triplicate, but Tobias hadn’t paid much attention to it at the time. He wished he had as he checked his own file, then moved to the marine datacores. His heart started to race as he pulled up the list, wondering if he was already setting off alarms. The marines were on the ship, but not of the ship. They were meant to maintain their distance from everyone else.
And if that really is Colin, Tobias mused, does anyone expect him to keep himself to himself?
His eyes narrowed as a list of names flowed up in front of him, tagged with regiments and companies and other details he couldn’t even begin to understand. The navy had given the gunboat pilots some basic training, if only to ensure they all spoke the same language, but he knew they’d only scratched the surface. The nomenclature was beyond him. He snorted in annoyance - there was probably a way to search the system quickly, but he didn’t know how - then put the thought out of his mind. The names would have to suffice. He frowned as he scanned the list, wondering which of the masked men had been Burt Stanton or Roy Higgs or …
The name leapt out at him. Colin Lancaster.
Tobias’s heart stopped. It was him. It had to be him. He tried to tell himself that there might be more than one Colin Lancaster - the name was hardly unique - but he didn’t believe it. He forced himself to open the file, to check the handful of details it supplied. The majority of the file was locked, but there was enough. Colin Lancaster, born in the same year as Tobias… it was him. The marine had the right birthday and everything. Colin had taken great pleasure in telling Tobias, years ago, that everyone was invited to Colin’s birthday party but Tobias. Tobias had taken it as something of a relief. The idea of taking the bastard a birthday present was sickening.
And yet, it had stung. He’d been left out. Again.
He slumped in his seat, unable to comprehend what he saw. Colin was a marine … he couldn’t be. He really couldn’t be. There was no way in hell an elite force would want a mindless thug on the team. Tobias had been told that mindless thugs did their National Service, then sank into the underclass … into a world of illicit drugs and sudden violent deaths. The thought of Colin and his cronies rotting away in a drug den had never failed to cheer him up after endless beatings. Tobias had wanted to make something of himself. Colin didn’t have the drive to do anything of the sort. His only real skill was kicking a football around, and it was no longer possible to make a career out of it. The war had taken that, as well as everything else.
It’s him. Tobias worked the console, trying to convince the files to give up something more than barebones detail. It’s him.
The hatch clanked, then opened. Tobias started, utterly convinced that Colin had finally tracked him down. It wasn’t as if it would be very hard, not when the gunboat pilots divided their time between sleeping, training and flying. Colin would probably have the entire crew eating out of his hand by now. He could be very convincing, when he wasn’t being threatening. And … Tobias found himself unable to move. He wanted to run, but his legs refused to obey. There was nowhere to go. He was trapped and he’d trapped himself and …
Marigold stepped into the gunboat. “Are you alright?”
Tobias shuddered, torn between relief and shame. Marigold would mock him, if she knew the truth. She’d mock him … she certainly wouldn’t look at him with anything but utter contempt. He knew it. Every other girl and boy in his life had done the same. A victim like himself had no friends, no supporters, for fear they’d be targeted too. Colin had made sure of it. A surge of bitter helpless anger washed through him. It just wasn’t fair.
“I …”
He shook his head, wordlessly. He couldn’t tell her. He just couldn’t. She couldn’t do anything to help him … she probably wouldn’t want to do anything to help him. She’d probably go straight to Colin and … Tobias’s imagination revolted in horror. Girls had surrounded Colin, buzzing around him like flies buzzing around shit. Tobias just didn’t understand it. Colin used and abused his girlfriends, while he was a nice guy who couldn’t get a date … girls laughed at him, then mocked him. Tobias had no doubt Colin was no virgin. He’d bragged of losing his virginity long ago. Tobias wanted to believe Colin w
as lying, that it was just gym locker talk, but … he believed it. Colin wouldn’t hesitate to take whatever he wanted in the certain knowledge no one would stop him. Tobias was sure of it.
Marigold closed the hatch behind her. “It’s late,” she said. “Come to bed.”
Tobias couldn’t help it. He giggled. Come to bed, she’d said … he found himself lost in helpless giggles. He wasn’t sure what the rules were on relationships between gunboat pilots, but it didn’t matter. No one would invite him to bed … Marigold gave him a perplexed look, then snorted as she realised what she’d said. Tobias forced himself to stop snickering. She didn’t deserve it. She wasn’t one of the mean girls who’d tormented him.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, turning away from the console. One advantage of the gunboats was that there was plenty of space to get up and walk around, if only for a few moments. “I’m going to stay here.”
“If you go to sleep on that chair, you’ll wake up black and blue,” Marigold pointed out, tartly. “What’s bothering you?”
“I …” Tobias swallowed, hard. He didn’t want to tell her anything. And yet … he really didn’t want to tell her anything. She’d think less of him. Of course she would. People he’d met online had thought he was cool, until he’d let the truth slip. “I …”
“Tell me,” Marigold said. “We didn’t do that badly in the last simulation, did we?”
“That’s not the problem,” Tobias said. “Marigold … I …”
The words tumbled out, as if they wanted to be free. He told her about Colin, he told her about growing up with him, he told her about how he’d left Colin behind … only to be followed to Lion. And how he’d panicked, when he’d heard Colin’s voice. Colin had been a monster and now he was on the ship … Tobias would sooner have come face to face with a zombie. No one would throw a fit if he shot a zombie.
“I see,” Marigold said. “And you’re sure it’s the same guy?”
“The birth date matches,” Tobias insisted. “It has to be him.”
“It might be a coincidence,” Marigold said. “There are only a limited number of days in the year. Statistically …”
“He has the same name, the same date of birth, the same accent …” Tobias shook his head, firmly. “It’s him.”
He allowed his mind to wander. “How did he even get into the Royal Marines?”
“Perhaps they thought he had potential,” Marigold said. “Does the file say anything useful?”
“Not beyond his birthday and shit like that,” Tobias said. “Everything beyond a handful of very basic details is classified.”
“If he’s the same age as you …” Marigold frowned. “I don’t think he followed you.”
Tobias glared at his hands. “Of course he did.”
Marigold shook her head. “He would have had … what? About eight months to train and qualify for a shipboard posting? He’d be far too junior to pick his own assignment. I think a lot of the departments were thrown together at very short notice, save for us. There’s no way he could have known you were being assigned here, let alone get himself assigned here too.”
“He could have looked me up in the files,” Tobias pointed out.
“Did he even know you’d been recruited?” Marigold didn’t sound convinced. “Even if he did, how much of your file would he be able to access?”
“Colin can do anything,” Tobias muttered. “He probably bribed some clerk to download a complete file …”
“I rather doubt it.” Marigold spoke with a calm certainty as she ticked off points one by one. “First, he’d have to know he needed to do it. He didn’t know you’d been recruited. Second, he’d have to take time away from his own training to look you up. That wouldn’t have been easy for us, and commando training is supposed to be worse. Third, he’d have to convince someone he had a pressing need to read your file. That wouldn’t be easy either. Data privacy is taken pretty seriously. Anyone who poked into your file without a good reason would be regarded as a voyeur. His CO would not be amused.”
“His CO probably thinks the sun shines out of his arse,” Tobias muttered.
Marigold laughed. “I doubt it,” she said. “One of my uncles is a marine sergeant. He was never impressed with anything my brothers did. I doubt he’d be impressed by your friend either.”
Tobias felt a flash of hate. “He was never my friend.”
He stared down at his hands. It would have been so much better if Colin had died years ago, if one of his madcap stunts had ended with his death. Tobias might have enjoyed his schooling - he might even have had friends - if Colin hadn’t been there, casting a baleful shadow over Tobias’s life. And now … Tobias tried to imagine Colin being blown to pieces or wounded so badly that even modern medicine couldn’t help him. He’d seen disabled men in the library, men discharged from the army after being injured so badly … he shook his head. There was no justice in the universe. Colin could walk through a hail of bullets and remain unscathed. Tobias was morbidly sure of it.
“It doesn’t matter.” Marigold reached out and put a hand on his knee. “He doesn’t know you’re here. There’s no reason he should know. Just … ignore him.”
“You make it sound easy,” Tobias snapped.
Marigold gave him a sharp look. “Do you think you’re the only one?”
She tapped her stomach. “You know what? I was monstrously overweight, a couple of years ago. Fat and ugly and … well, you can probably guess what I was called. You can probably imagine the jokes about how I could never go on top without crushing a guy, if any guy could bring himself to touch me. All the times you saw me online, I was so fat I couldn’t bring myself to look in the mirror. And all those girls with clear complexions and perfect bodies sneered at me. They’d never believe the girl they mocked was me.”
Tobias stared at her. “But … you’re beautiful.”
Marigold coloured. “I wasn’t always … always like this,” she said. “You’ve only known me for a year.”
“I don’t …” Tobias shook his head. “Who’d do that to you?”
“Girls can be bullies too,” Marigold said, sourly. “They can be worse than the boys. Not that anyone believes it, of course. A pretty girl can get away with anything.”
“Just like Colin,” Tobias said. They shared a look of perfect understanding. “What now?”
“Now?” Marigold stepped back. “Now, we go back to our bunks and sleep. There’s no reason to think Colin so much as knows you’re in the navy, let alone that you’re here. Keep your head down the next time someone tries to volunteer you for something and you’ll probably be fine. And try to live well. Better that than living in the past.”
“It’s not that easy,” Tobias said. He knew he’d be jumping at shadows for the next few weeks. The starship was supposed to be safe. “What would you do, if one of the mean girls was onboard?”
“Laugh, probably,” Marigold said. “They’d never be able to cope with the bunks. Or the showers. Or the food. Or anything. I don’t think any of them went to university. I’d be prepared to bet good money they’re currently looking for husbands.”
Tobias winced. He hadn’t needed the reminder he’d probably die alone. “People will overlook anything for a pretty face.”
“Quite.” Marigold turned and headed for the hatch. “Come on, before someone starts asking less pleasant questions. We need our sleep.”
“Coming,” Tobias said. He felt cold, even as he stood and brushed down his uniform. It would be a long time before he felt safe again. Colin was out there, only a few short decks away. It just wasn’t fair. Tobias had thought there were light-years between him and his old tormentor. “And thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Marigold called back. She turned and winked at him. “You can thank me by letting me fly the ship tomorrow.”
Tobias laughed and followed her through the hatch.
Chapter Fifteen
Thomas allowed himself a moment of relief as Lion and Unicorn
- along with the rest of the convoy - crossed the tramline and entered the New Washington System. The last set of reports had insisted the besieged system remained in friendly hands, but he was uncomfortably aware that the situation at the far end of the chain could change in the wink of an eye. There were enemy ships prowling the system, launching seemingly random attacks on industrial facilities and lone starships in a bid to wear down the defenders. The virus had even launched a handful of kinetic strikes against the colony. So far, all of their projectiles had been stopped before they could strike the surface, but both sides knew it was just a matter of time before the defenders ran out of luck.
He sucked in his breath as the display filled with green, blue and yellow icons. New Washington was one of the most heavily industrialised and populated systems, with thousands of settled asteroids, hundreds of industrial facilities and millions of people scattered over the planets and asteroid habitats. The Americans had shown a rare skill at turning a colony system into a paying endeavour; there were even rumours that the United States intended to move its government to New Washington in the wake of the planned union of powers. Thomas doubted it - moving an entire government would be a political and logistical nightmare - but he could see the appeal. Emigration had stepped up rapidly as the political and military union took shape. Too many people simply didn’t trust transnational political entities.
And human history tells us that mistrust is a wise response, he mused, as he studied the display. It’s very easy for a transnational force to lose all connection to the nations and people that birthed it.
“Captain, we’ve just received a signal from System Command,” Lieutenant Cook said, breaking into Thomas’s thoughts. “They’ve cleared us a lane to the planet, sir, and forwarded the latest reports from the recon flights.”
“Good.” Thomas nodded to himself. The Yanks had come through, as requested. “Signal Unicorn. Send my compliments to Captain Campbell, then inform him he’s cleared to leave the squadron and proceed immediately to Farnham. We’ll meet up as planned at the RV point.”
The Lion and the Unicorn Page 14