"You won't love them the same way as you'd love your own," she'd told me, although it was insane. "You could pretend, but it just wouldn't feel the same."
"A baby…" I mused, looking into her eyes.
She could see the flicker of optimism on my face and preyed on it. "Yes, a baby. We could have more than one. We could have a whole brood. Isn't that what you always dreamed of?"
"It is, but..."
"But nothing. We could get back together. I haven't signed the divorce papers. We could just take off where we ended. Start fresh."
"We could never do that," I disagreed, removing her hand from my shoulder. "Not after what you did."
"But it was a mistake," she moaned. "And a terrible one at that. My God, I've stayed awake plenty of nights cursing myself for being so stupid. For being a whore."
I flinched at hearing that word. I'd always hated it. "You're not a whore," I told her, hardening my voice as I continued. "But you are a selfish bitch. And you've got some fucking hubris coming in here thinking you can just win me back with a look and a touch. It's over, Olivia."
"No, you don't mean that. There was so much between us."
"Was. There was so much between us, but you destroyed it all. You think we can just get back together and have kids? Are you fucking crazy? Do you think I could ever make love to you again after what I saw you doing with that Simon asshole? You think I could ever get that image out my fucking head?"
She glanced away, ashamed, but I knew it wasn't because she had cheated. It was because I had caught her, and not only that, but I had caught her in the act with an ugly prick like Simon.
There was a time when just looking at her filled my belly with a fire that made me want to pounce on her, but that fire had long been extinguished. Now when I looked at her, I saw nothing but a sad old liar who had royally fucked up her life and was desperate to retrieve it. I could never touch her again, could never kiss her, let alone see her naked body. She was the ugliest woman alive to me.
"I still think we could work things out," she pushed. "I really do. You'll regret it if you don't."
"The only thing I regret is meeting you," I replied, taking her elbow and guiding her toward the door.
"You don't mean that!" she cried. Her tears were real and streaked a path through her thick foundation down to her chin. "Matthew, please! Don't give up on us like this."
"You gave up on us the second you went to bed with another man. Now get the fuck out."
"No, Matthew."
"Get out."
"Matthew!"
I gently pushed her into the waiting room where Sandra glanced up for a second then furtively stared down at her desk.
"What am I supposed to do?" Olivia sobbed.
"Sign the fucking divorce papers," I yelled and slammed the door in her face.
I leaned against the door, and I could hear the sound of Sandra guiding Olivia to the elevators as her wails grew louder.
She's actually insane, I thought as I sunk down into my seat and held my head in my hands. She wasn't serious, was she?
A few minutes later, a knock sounded on the door and Sandra entered. "Wow," she said, stepping in with a scotch in her hand. "That was some scene, huh?"
I took the drink from her and gulped rather than sipped, feeling the calming burn at the back of my throat.
"What did you do with her?" I asked.
"Sent her downstairs. Told Jerry to call her a cab."
"She won't like that. She normally only travels in limos."
Sandra sat across from me and reached a hand across my desk. "Forget about her," she said, patting my arm.
"Believe me. There's nothing I want to do more than forget about Olivia."
Becca
I could hear a commotion from the end of the hall. Poking my head out of my office, I caught sight of Sandra bundling a shrieking woman into the elevator.
Olivia...What the hell is she doing here?
Something flashed in my head, something I'd never felt before that burned deep inside me and made me feel as though I wanted to grow claws and run screaming at the woman.
Am I jealous?
No. I'm not a jealous person, and I sure as shit don't care about Matthew's cheating ex-wife, so why do I feel like I'm morphing into the Incredible Hulk just at the sight of her?
I also wasn't a nosy person, but I couldn't stop myself creeping out of my office to snoop. I reached the elevator doors just as they were closing.
"He's such a cruel bastard!" Olivia sobbed, her voice traveling all the way down to the ground floor like she was falling down a well.
I looked inside Matthew's office and caught a glimpse of him through his half-shut blinds sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He looked exasperated, and I had the strongest urge to barge in and wrap my arms around him.
I could make him forget all about that bitch Olivia.
All I wanted to do was comfort him, but before I could make a move, the elevator doors re-opened and out waddled Sandra with a look of exhaustion on her face.
"That woman is a lunatic," she sighed. "If it wasn't for the fact I’m pregnant, she'd drive me to drink."
She entered the small kitchen area at the back of the hall and emerged a moment later with a scotch in her hand.
"For Matthew," she informed me when she noticed me watching her. "Lord knows he'll need it."
As she waltzed into his office and sat down across from him, I continued to watch through the blinds as she soothed him. And I couldn't help but feel the jealousy rise in me again. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to be the one he turned to.
* * *
The night was falling fast, and although it was barely six, the sky was jet black without a single star glittering through the blackness. With a big yawn and a stretch, I signed off my computer and filed away the last of the spreadsheets I'd been working through.
Time for drinks with Janey, a long, hot bath, and then straight to bed with a rom-com on the TV and some raw chocolate coconut macaroons.
Grabbing my coat and bag, I switched off the light and closed the office door behind me.
"You need a ride home?" Sandra asked from her desk. She was also packing away her things, and I was glad she was heading home at a reasonable time.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you. I should be the one driving you home."
"Nonsense. I haven't lost the ability to drive just because I'm preggers." She hurled her bag over her shoulder and struggled to zip up her coat. "See you bright and early."
"Ever think about taking a day off?" I wondered aloud.
She wrinkled up her face as though I'd insulted her. "No," was her curt reply. "I'd rather die. You have a good night now."
I watched her walk away and felt guilty that she was heading out on her own, but I didn’t comment again, afraid she’d bite my head off.
I glanced down at my phone as I walked and saw I had two missed calls from Janey and a text.
Hey, bitch. I'm down at the bar early. And there's karaoke on tonight. Hurry!
I had the worst singing voice in the world, something I was in complete denial about after a couple White Russians. But still, there was little I loved more than karaoke.
I was about to walk to the elevator when I noticed a light shining from behind me. Thinking Matthew had maybe left his light on, I turned around expecting to see his empty office. What I saw instead was him bent over a series of papers on his desk with a serious look of concentration on his face.
Gingerly approaching the door, I knocked gently.
"Come in."
"Hey," I said softly, peering around the door. "You working late?"
"Yeah. Coby gave me a bunch of stuff to look over. All looks like nonsense to me, though."
"Anything I might be able to help with?"
"Maybe. These are his designs for the new ad campaign. It's supposed to attract a younger clientele, but I don’t know. Looks like teenage bullshit to me."
I walked over and l
ooked down at the designs. "Hey, these are great," I commented with a smile. "They'd make me buy a membership."
"They would?" He stared at them, frowning. "You don't think they're a bit, how do I put it, garish and random?"
"Random?"
"Yeah, like the color scheme and the font placement. It looks like Coby threw a bunch of ideas into a washing machine and spat them out through a printer."
"It does look like that," I agreed. "Which is awesome."
"Really?"
"Believe me. They look great."
He nodded and looked down at them, confused.
"It's okay," I assured him. "That Coby kid knows what he's doing."
"I hope he does."
My phone buzzed again inside my purse, and I knew Janey was growing impatient.
"I better go,” I said. “Happy hour's calling."
"You have a good night," he said, looking up. His eyes met mine with a look that told me he didn't want me to leave, but he said nothing.
"Good night," I said, closing the door.
I didn’t really want to leave either, and as I made my way to the bar, I wished I could have worked late with him. I’d teach him a thing or two about what it meant to be young.
* * *
I was sipping on my third White Russian of the night when Janey decided to get up and sing her favorite karaoke classic, ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’.
If it was possible, she was a worse singer than I was, not that she cared either. She just wanted to get up and strut her stuff. I watched her climb up on the stage and grab the mic as a group of guys at the front of the stage cheered.
The bar was packed and the heat from the sweaty bodies gyrating to the music was stifling. Sucking on an ice cube from my drink, I tried to cool down, relax, and cheer on Janey. But I was aware of a guy watching me from the shadows in the corner of the room.
Glancing over, I saw a group of men about my age wearing the unofficial uniform of the douchebag; skinny jeans, fake designer sneakers, and tacky, slicked back hair. The bunch looked as though they were trying to audition for a nineties R&B boy band.
I tried to ignore them and focus on Janey, but one guy was intently staring at me. Glancing over again, I made accidental eye contact, and taking this to be some sort of green light, he strutted over.
"Hey, babe."
I ignored him and sipped my drink.
"Hey!" he called over the music. "You having a good night?"
"Yep," I sighed, not making eye contact.
"You here on your own?"
"Here with my best girl."
"So not a boyfriend."
Thinking fast, I looked around the room as though I was looking for someone and said, "Actually, he's in the bathroom. He'll be back in a minute." But I was a terrible liar, and even this dweeb could see through my ruse.
"Oh yeah? Well, he must have been in that bathroom a long time because you've been on your own for a while."
"How would you know? You been stalking me?"
He raised an eyebrow and leaned over my table. Up close, I could smell his cheap cologne mixed with the scent of his watermelon vape pen.
Ew.
Looking up at the stage, I tried to catch Janey's attention, but she was in her own little world, singing her heart out. It was awesome to get her on her own without Harry in tow, but I couldn't appreciate it with this jerk hanging off my side.
"I ain't stalkin' you, but…” He winked at me.
"Any sentence that starts with ‘I ain't stalking you but’, is not one I wanna hear the rest of."
He laughed and made some kind of ridiculous twisted expression with his mouth which I could only assume he thought was sexy. "All I'm saying is that I notice a pretty girl when I see one and—"
"Look, I'm not interested," I interrupted before he could get too deep in his line.
"Whoa, no need to be so rude and shit," he said, taking a step back as though I'd just attacked him.
"I'm not being rude. I'm just telling it to you straight. I'm not interested,” I said, my voice even and calm. “Now, if you don't mind, I gotta go to the little girl's room."
Sliding off my stool, I strode away toward the bathroom, feeling his angry stare burning through the back of my head.
"Bitch!" he spat after me.
I didn't even bother to turn around. Asshole, I thought. He can throw his little toddler tantrum all he wants. I'm still not interested.
Inside the bathroom, I set my drink on the counter behind the sink and looked at my face in the mirror. I wasn't much of a makeup wearer, but today I fancied making a little extra effort with my appearance.
Slicking on a little mascara and blush this morning, I thought I looked like hot shit. But now it was beginning to smudge from the heat, and my hair looked as though it had been brushed with a knife and fork.
"Look at the state of you." I laughed at myself as I began rectifying my appearance.
"Hey! Where’d you go?" Janey's voice rang out as she barged through the door. "One second you were watching me sing, then I turned and you'd vanished."
"Sorry, babe. I was getting seriously creeped on."
"Aw, really? It wasn't one of those loser guys in the corner, was it?"
"How’d you guess?"
"They've been staring at us all night."
I huffed and pulled my hair up into a ponytail, looking at Janey in the mirror. "Is it so hard to have a girl's night out without a guy interfering with our good time?"
On cue, Janey's phone began to ring. "It's Harry," she said, pulling it out her purse. "I gotta answer this." She walked toward the back of the room where two girls were applying thick layers of gloss to their lips and gossiping about various guys.
"Aw, I miss you too," I heard Janey say into the phone. "I won't be much later. Just a couple more drinks and... Aw, really? Ah, okay. Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you so much. Mwah."
She returned with a sorry look on her face.
I stared at her blandly, my lips pursed as I asked, "Let me guess, you gotta head home."
"Harry has a serious case of the sniffles," she said with a sad pout. "And he needs me to pick up some cough medicine on the way home."
"What, now? The fun's just getting started."
"You know what he's like when he's ill."
"Yeah, a big baby."
"Don't be mean," she said. "He has asthma. When he gets sick, he gets reeeeally sick. Sorry, chick, but I gotta head home."
"It's okay," I sighed, leaning my head against her shoulder as we stared at one another in the mirror. "We can have a proper girl's night out this weekend and get really crazy." She said nothing and avoided my gaze. "What?"
"Nothing," she hedged, but I didn't believe her.
"No, what's wrong? Why do you look so miserable?"
"It's just that me and Harry booked a romantic weekend away in a cabin in the woods. So maybe next weekend?"
I could feel our friendship slipping away from me. I hated to believe that we were really drifting apart?
"Oh," I said. "Well, the weekend after next is Thanksgiving, so I’ll be at Dad’s. I suppose we can catch up when you get back."
"You're not mad?"
"I'm never mad at you," I promised, pulling her into a hug. “Now let's get you home. Don't want Harry dying from his killer sniffles.”
Regretfully, we walked out into the street where the cold wind was picking up and late-night party goers were filling the streets eager for a good time. The air smelled like street food, alcohol, and cigarettes, and there was an ambiance of fun and anticipation of late night debauchery. But sadly, tonight I wouldn’t be part of it.
"You wanna share a cab with me?" Janey asked as she thrust her hand out toward a passing taxi.
"Sure."
I reached into my bag for my wallet, but my hand felt nothing but the silk lining at the bottom. "What the fuck?" I gasped.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't have my wallet."
"Sh
it. Did you leave it in the bar?"
"No, I used cash that was in my pocket for the drinks. Aw, crap I think I left it in my office."
The taxi pulled up beside us and Janey opened the back door. "You coming?"
"Nah, I better head back and get it."
"Are you sure? Couldn't you just get it in the morning?"
"I won’t be able to sleep until I know it’s there for sure."
"Hey, girls, are you movin' or what?" the cab driver grumbled as he looked over the back of his seat.
"Jesus, I'm coming!" Janey grouched.
"It's okay. Just go," I told her. "I'll get a cab on my own."
"No, don't do that. I can wait for you if you want."
"No, you gotta get back to Harry. Honestly, it's fine."
She climbed in the back and stared up at me with apologetic, puppy dog eyes. "I hate leaving you alone."
"I'll be okay. It's just a two-minute walk back to the office."
"Are we going?" the driver griped impatiently.
"Yes! Fuck's sake!" Janey moaned. "Text me when you're home, okay?"
"I definitely will. Get home safe!" I closed her door and the driver sped off. "Dick," I said to myself as the cab joined the busy nighttime traffic.
Walking back to the office, I couldn't believe how dumb I'd been to forget my wallet.
Your brain's been in your panties recently, I told myself. If you were thinking less about Matthew, you wouldn't be so forgetful.
Reaching the entrance to the office, I approached Jerry, the night watchman. "Well, hello, miss. Don’t tell me you’re one of those late-night workout fanatics."
Suddenly, away from the crowded bar, I was aware of the tipsiness. I'd only had three drinks, but they'd gone right to my head, and I found myself giggling.
"No. I just need to pick something up real quick from my office," I said, skipping past him.
Hurrying across the foyer, I entered the elevator and immediately wondered who the crazy witch in the mirror was. Then I realized I was looking at my exhausted self; hair blown around in the wind and makeup worn away by the long day. Tugging at my hair, I tried to spruce myself up, but it was useless.
Thank God nobody’s around to see me like this, I thought as I stepped out and briskly walked to my office. Opening the door, I saw my wallet in the middle of my desk and let out a sigh of relief.
Knocked Up by Daddy’s Best Friend Page 7