“You don’t say anything?”
“Nope. I ignore her and pretend like she isn’t talking.”
“And that works?”
“Not really, but she gets the hint eventually.”
“So, what happened with Morgan,” Gabe asked, “after the whole replacement drink thing?”
I sighed, running my hand across my forehead. “She started crying, and I didn’t know why the hell she was crying, so I…I rolled my eyes and said, What’s wrong now?”
Gabe sucked in a breath, shaking his head slightly. “Okay, I get that you’re new to the whole relationship thing, but let me fill you in on a few of the finer points of making sure that you don’t end up divorced anytime soon. First, you never EVER roll your eyes when you see her crying. That’s like telling her that her feelings don’t matter.”
“But she was crying over a shake. Sorry, but how is that even something worth crying over?”
“To her, it matters because she thinks you’re excited for her to lose the weight. It doesn’t matter what your intentions are in this situation. You fucked yourself over.”
“He’s right,” Jackson nodded. “If she comes to you crying, your initial thought should always be that you fucked up in one way or another. And you probably did. The question is, how do you figure out what the hell you did? This has nothing to do with how rational she is. This is about making sure that you figure out the problem and handle it as swiftly and with as little damage as possible. Think of it as dismantling a bomb.”
“But…how do you figure out what you did when you have no fucking clue what it is? Especially with a pregnant woman. How the hell would I know that a shake would set off a tsunami?”
“This is where you really have to pay attention,” Gabe said. “You need to examine your last conversation with her, because this is most likely where you fucked up. You probably didn’t even realize what you had said, and you left thinking everything was okay. Meanwhile, she’s been stewing over there for hours, thinking about the shit thing you said or did.”
“Except, in all reality, you probably won’t ever figure out what you said or did until she points it out,” Jackson added.
“Then why would I go to all the trouble of trying to figure it out?” I asked in frustration.
“Because on the off chance that you can figure it out, you have time to do damage control,” Gabe said. “Imagine if you had figured out that the shakes were an issue before all the crying and shit. What would you have done differently?”
“Cancel the order?” I said.
“No, she wants them,” Jackson said. “You were doing a good thing. Don’t discount that.”
“Okay, uh…gift wrap it for her.”
Gabe shook his head. “Here, have a weight loss gift from me to you.” He huffed out a laugh. “Seriously, it’s like you don’t even want to be married.”
I clenched my jaw in frustration. “Can you just tell me instead of having me guess at this?”
Jackson grinned. “But it’s so much fun to see you struggle the way all of us had to.”
“Look, it’s simple,” Gabe stepped in. “You just say that you remembered her talking about it, and the more you thought about it, the more you thought you might like to try it too. So, you ordered it for both of you to do together, so you could hold each other accountable.”
“But I don’t need to lose any weight.”
“And that would be another thought you keep in that pretty little head of yours if you don’t want to get divorced,” Jackson muttered.
“So, I buy her this shit and then tell her we’ll do it together, even though I don’t need to do it, all so that she doesn’t cry?”
“Exactly,” Gabe said.
I shook my head. “You know, there are psychiatrists that deal with this shit.”
“Look, it’s simple,” Jackson said. “Crying is second nature to women. It’s a fucking landmine for men. There are some basics you can ask yourself. Is it her time of the month? Did you forget to kiss her? Did you stare at another woman for too long? It’s inevitable that we will fuck up in some way or another at least three times a week during marriage, and that’s a low estimate. We have these tools in our belt so that we can navigate our relationships.”
“And if you’re not willing to use those tools, you can always go the other, more dangerous route,” Gabe shrugged.
“Which would be?”
He glanced around and then leaned in. “Alright, I do not recommend this shit to just anyone. It’s a dangerous move and could land you in a shit ton of trouble, but if pulled off correctly, you’re golden. So, what you do is you drop subtle apologies and pretend you know exactly what’s going on. For example, you can say, Baby, I’ve been thinking about what we were discussing, and I think you should tell me again how you’re feeling about this, just so I’m clear. If the tears are really about something you said in your last conversation, she’ll have no problem telling you exactly what’s she’s feeling, and you’ll have your answer. If you didn’t actually do anything, she’ll most likely look at you funny and tell you she has no idea what you’re talking about. If this is the case, make some shit up and fly with it. You’re off the hook. There’s not much you can do to fuck this up, unless you open your mouth and say something stupid. Don’t say something stupid.”
“Wait, so you apologize for something you may or may not have done, all to try and get to the bottom of what the real problem is?”
“Exactly. But, like I said, if you do it wrong, you’re fucked.”
“How would you do it wrong?” I asked nervously.
“By offering too much information. Baby, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier. I swear, when I saw that woman walking down the street, I only stared because I thought she was you.”
“But you’re admitting to watching her,” I said in confusion.
“You’re also confessing to watching another woman. She’s not going to hear that you thought the woman was her. She’s only going to hear that you were watching another woman. That’s how you fuck it all up. Like I said, you need to really know what you’re doing. And since you’re such a newbie at all this, I would suggest you stay away from that route.”
I nodded and thought about everything they had told me. “You know, after hearing all this information, I have to be honest. I don’t feel any more informed about what the fuck to do than I did when you walked in here.”
They stared at me in confusion and I flipped them off, walking away from them and their convoluted advice.
Chapter Eight
Jules
I walked into the conference room, checking my phone again. The alert didn’t request Ice and Chris to be here, so what the hell was this meeting about? As I looked up, I saw Claire, Ivy, Emma, Cara, and Raegan sitting at the conference room table. This couldn’t be good.
“What’s going on?”
“We’re still waiting on others to arrive,” Ivy said, sitting up straight in her chair.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I took the stance that said don’t fuck with me. “Who exactly are we waiting on? And what’s this for?”
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Ivy smirked back at me, tilting her head in that cute way that said she was up to something, and it was never good.
“Whatever it is, the answer is no.”
“That’s why there are others coming,” Claire grinned. “And just in time.”
I turned to see their husbands walk in, each of them looking just as confused as us. And then Cap walked in, actually looking a little angry.
“Since when do I get a summons to meetings? Last I checked, I run this company.”
“This company, yes.” Emma stood, pulling at the suit jacket she wore. I realized then that all the women were dressed like they were attending a meeting. Emma walked around the table, her arms full of papers. “Gentleman, please take a seat so the meeting can begin.”
I looked at the guys and then took a seat. What the hell else w
as I supposed to do?
“As you know,” Emma stated, placing a pamphlet down in front of me, and then moving on to the next guy. “Our business has been booming over the last few years. The sex toy industry is really pushing the boundaries, with all the romance novels out there really pushing kink.”
I flushed bright red, my ears burning as she talked about this. “Uh…you know, I’m not really sure I need a spreadsheet,” I said, looking down at multiple photographs of sex toys. Hell, I wasn’t a prude, but this was something I only wanted to discuss with my wife, and definitely not around other men.
Cap cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m with Jules. I think this is something…maybe someone else…more…girly can help you out with.”
“I’m on board,” Sinner grinned. “Wow me with your sex toy knowledge.” He winked at Cara, who winked back at him.
“As I was saying,” Emma continued. “Books about domination in the bedroom have really set the groundwork for kink to be the new normal. What was once thought of as private and sinful, are now every woman’s— and man’s fantasy. I’m sure you all know that each of us has an array of toys that each of you have benefited from at some point or another.”
I thought back to just last night when Ivy pulled out her new addition to our toy box…a vibrating cock ring. It was amazing. Glancing at Ivy, by her smirk, I knew that’s exactly what she was thinking about. She had played me last night, bringing out that toy in particular to use against me today. And as I looked around at the other guys, I realized the same thing had happened to them. Except, maybe Cap. He just looked like this was business as usual. A very uncomfortable business.
“If you’ll turn to page two in your pamphlets, you’ll see a business plan we’ve laid out for a storefront in town.”
My gaze shot up to Emma’s, but Burg beat me to the question. “Whoa, you want to build a sex shop in town?”
“Precisely,” she smiled. “As you can see, we’ve already found a location that is very suitable. It’s just a block from the police station, and also down the road from the fire department. Every single business on this street already has working security cameras installed. The shop has two exits, but I’m sure you’ll think of a way to make it even more secure. Of course, we would expect that you would want to install every last gadget that you can think of to keep us all safe.”
“But…” Burg stuttered. “What about just selling books. Emma, you used to love that. And Ivy…you love making coffee.”
I snorted into my hand. If he was going for anything other than insulting, he failed miserably.
“I thought this was just a fun business to keep you all busy, until, you know the kids went off to training,” Jackson said, squirming in his seat.
Emma glanced at Raegan, who immediately stood and set a bag on the table. She reached in and pulled out the biggest dildo I had ever seen. Seriously, this thing was a monster. It reminded me of Parker’s cock. I scrubbed at my eyes, trying to wipe that memory away, but it was hard. The man was seriously huge, and it was surprising there was actually a man on the face of the earth with a dick so big.
“This is the number one selling dildo in the United States right now. Women are looking for the very best, and we intend to give it to them,” Ivy stated. “As you’ve said,” she glared at Burg, “Emma and I do miss our days of selling books and…making coffee. So, we’ve decided that this toy shop wouldn’t just be an adult toy store, but a mature store primarily targeted toward women. The idea is to draw in customers that are not only fascinated by…big dicks, but also want a little romance. We’d set up a food and drink bar, along with a section for romance readers. If you look on page three, you’ll see the design we’ve laid out, along with how much everything will cost.”
As the guys looked it over, I just kept staring at the dildo. Ivy picked it up, staring at me as she stroked the dildo in her hand. I swallowed hard and fumbled with the papers, trying to focus on what was being said and not the fact that I wanted to take her home right now and fuck her.
“Are you planning on putting pay-by-the-hour rooms in the back?” Jackson muttered.
“If you think it’ll help,” Raegan grinned. “I bet we could even make services available, should you walk in the store while we’re working.”
Jackson choked on air as Raegan tossed him a saucy wink. What the hell was going on with these women? Was this really what they wanted to do? Run a sex store and have porn on the walls?
“But that can all be discussed when we return,” Claire said, standing up from her seat.
“When you return?” Derek asked. “And just where do you think you’re going?”
“A sex toy convention,” she grinned. “I hear they even have superhero dildos. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
It got really quiet in the room for all of two seconds before Cap burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, but this is just unreal. We’re trying to do everything possible to keep you all safe and you want to open a sex toy shop in town.”
“Not to mention, go to some convention filled with perverts,” Derek muttered. “Sorry, Claire bear, but it’s not happening.”
“Oh, I wasn’t asking for your permission. I was just telling you that’s what we’d be doing.”
“How do we even know it’s safe at this…this…convention thing,” Jackson spat. “It could be filled with sex deviants that only want…sex.”
“Yes,” Raegan nodded slowly. “That’s usually what a convention like this would entail.”
“I like it,” Sinner piped up. “Sex toys, romance, all the toys we could want. Count me in.”
“No,” I shook my head. “Maybe you can have the toy shop. At least we would be close and security would be tight. We could get to you quickly, but a convention? A road trip, just the five of you? No, that’s just asking for trouble. Claire will pack guns. Cara’s gonna freak out and throw up all over the place. Ivy, let’s face it, you’ll be the first to end up in jail. And Emma, last time you came back in a bra. I’m just saying, there’s no way Burg’s gonna let you do this. And Raegan…” I glanced at Jackson, who just shook his head. “No, I’m putting my foot down.”
“I think you’re missing the part where we’re going no matter what you say,” Ivy said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Cap,” I turned, pleading with him.
He shook his head. “They’re your women! Why are you looking at me?”
“Because you’re the boss. Do something about this!”
“Yeah, send them off to boot camp or something,” Burg added.
“No.” Derek shook his head. “Claire doesn’t need any more training with weapons. Let’s not forget what happened the last time these five got together.”
“Listen,” Cara stood, staring us all down, her fingertips braced on the table. “We’re going to this whether you like it or not. Now, we’re leaving in precisely…” She looked down at her watch, “five hours. If by then you have a plan in place you’d like us to adhere to, you’d better have it ready for us in four hours.”
We all glanced at one another, a state of panic filled the room as the women sat down and waited for us.
“Well, first things first,” Derek said, “No guns. I’m sorry, but as much as we want to protect them, handing them weapons is just asking for disaster.”
Cap pressed a button on the phone, calling Becky.
“Yeah, bossman.”
“I need the schematics for this sex toy convention the ladies are attending. Anything you can get me in the next hour. I need the layout of the building, along with the names and backgrounds of anyone attending. Put anyone on it that you can.”
“On it, bossman.”
“Wait, I haven’t told you where it’s being held.”
She snorted. “Yeah, I already know where it is.”
She hung up, Cap shaking his head in amazement.
“Alright, what are we thinking in terms of security?” Blake asked.
“Simple,” Sinner shrugged. “We send
them with the SUV that’s fully stocked.”
“You want to send them with a machine gun and RPGs?” I asked. “Are you insane? My wife has already been to prison! I really don’t want to put her in the position to end up there again.”
Sinner waved me off. “That was for murder. If she had to use the machine gun, it would be in self-defense.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better!”
Cap whistled loudly. “Guys, let’s get back on track here. I think Jules is right. We need them to be able to defend themselves, but sending them with RPGs is just a little too drastic. We have the alert buttons, trackers in everyone, the vehicles are all equipped with GPS tracking…I think we’re covered.”
“That’s because you’re thinking like Maggie’s not going. Now, if Maggie was getting in that vehicle, what would you do?” Jackson asked.
Cap’s eyes widened and he nodded. “You’re right. We need to scrap this and start over. Burg, have Cazzo load up the back with at least ten smoke grenades, a case of tear gas, four handguns a piece— along with enough ammo to take out a small army.”
“Got it,” Burg said, standing to walk away and call Cazzo.
“Alright, Derek, you connect with Becky. After we have the schematics of the building, I want to know every blind spot. Then get on the phone with security and make sure that any room that’s not needed for the convention is locked. I don’t care if it’s the fucking janitor’s closet. The last thing we need is one of them going missing. Also, I want to know every sniper point from every surrounding building, and then all the backup spots if those are taken.”
Derek nodded and pulled out his phone, turning slightly away.
“Jules, get on the phone with local P.D. and coordinate for us to have eyes and ears on things from here at all times.”
“Why don’t we just go with them, Cap?”
He stared me down. “Somehow, I don’t think they’re going to allow us within fifty yards of the convention with weapons, but if we have local P.D. on our side, we stand a chance of having the appropriate backup. Make sure you make a hefty donation in our name to the police department.”
The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance Page 5