“Sometimes, I don’t want to be a lady,” she replied when he ran his thumb over her bottom lip. She felt his hand drift down her neck, curve down between her breasts, over her stomach, and softly parted her weak thighs again. They were unable to resist him. She took a deep, shuddering breath when he touched her again. “Sometimes I just want to be a woman. One that can’t wait any longer.”
Cayetano leaned over her, and brought his body to claim her. He loved the helpless cries he could coax from Luna when he made love to her. They added to the erotic sensitivity that ran between them. But the game of having to remain silent only heightened everything, the power that surged through them continued to intensify while they fought to internalise it all. Every nerve Luna had shattered when she felt the familiar shudder of satisfaction in Cayetano, and she let herself go, to let the flood of pleasure and indulgence pour through her. They both slumped back on the couch, desperate to catch their breath, the only sound in the silent apartment.
“Having to be silent is a fun game,” she giggled through her laboured breath.
“Yeah,” Cayetano replied, the sound of satisfaction in his voice. “That experiment makes it pretty…”
“Wow.”
“Wow!”
“Thanks for letting me into your secret room.”
Cayetano lifted his head and looked into her eyes that sparkled in the dim light of the room. “Thanks for letting me in.”
“Let you into what?”
“Your heart. Time spent in love with you is time very well spent.”
18
Cuenca, España ~ Marzo de 1939
Scarlett shivered. She had no idea what to do and felt very out of place. The light had begun to creep in the window at the Beltrán house. Daylight made the situation seem more real. A new day had dawned, but the world wouldn’t look the same again. How she wished these days would stop dawning.
Alejandro sat across the tiny room at the table. For some time, his head had slumped down on the table top. He was blind drunk. Both Scarlett and Cayetano had also drunk a lot over the last few hours, but Alejandro was close to comatose, and no one would stop him drinking himself to sleep.
Scarlett had scrubbed her hands so many times, but she couldn’t get Sofía’s blood out from under her nails. She had gone home and ripped off her bloodied clothes and tossed them, and tried to wash herself clean with a bucket of water. The cold water stung like knives on her skin, and she didn’t care. Her soul would never be clean.
Cayetano glanced up from the seat beside Alejandro and looked at Scarlett. “Do you want to go home for a while?” he asked her.
Alejandro jolted upright at the sound and looked at his friend. “Please don’t leave me!” he cried.
“We aren’t leaving you,” Scarlett said. “I’ll do anything you want.”
“How could you do this to me?” he mumbled. His eyes began to fill with tears again. “How could you let my wife die? My beautiful Sofía is dead.”
Scarlett bit her lip in an effort to steady her emotions. He was right; she had betrayed them all. She had let Sofía slip away. The moment she had managed to get the baby out, the onslaught of blood just poured from her friend. Her haemorrhage had been horrific, and Scarlett and Luna had been helpless. The baby had the cord wrapped around its little neck, its body as lifeless as its beautiful mother. Scarlett had wiped a heavy veil of tears from Luna’s face before she had handed the baby boy to her, and sent her off in the direction of the back entrance to the hospital with the precious bundle. When Cayetano had come in search of Scarlett through the hallways, he had found her on the floor, covered in the blood of her best friend, weeping uncontrollably. There was nothing she could do. She had failed them all.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Alejandro… I’m so sorry.”
“What do we have left to fight for now?” he asked. “Everything I have ever wanted is gone. In my bed is the body of my wife. Sofía is gone, and there is no reason to go on now.” He had witnessed Scarlett and Cayetano carry Sofía’s limp body out of the back of the hospital to take her home. He didn’t know why they needed to move her out of the hospital, and didn’t care.
“Why don’t you go and sit with Sofía for a while, mi amigo,” Cayetano suggested with caution. “Lie down with her.”
“Lie next to her cold body?” Alejandro cried. He was inconsolable. “You don’t understand what it’s like, Caya! She is not some woman you play with, she’s my wife. She was the mother of my son! She’s dead!”
“Scarlett put a bullet in each of the people who are responsible,” Cayetano replied.
“That helps me in no way at all.” He took another drink from the bottle on the bare table and banged it back down, not in control of his own hands with inebriation. “I want to die. Now I have no need to save my country.”
Cayetano and Scarlett shared a look while they listened to their friend slur his words. “You do,” Cayetano said. “You have many reasons.”
The tense silence broke with the faintest sound, the soft and desperate cry of the baby. The sound was enough to pierce the broken hearts around the room. The door through to Alejandro and Sofía’s bedroom opened, and there stood Luna with the crying child. She had been sitting with Sofía, to allow the child to lie next to his mother, if only for a little while.
“I don’t want to see the baby,” Alejandro said at his sister. He didn’t even look in her direction.
“You have to,” Luna said. She had no idea how to care for a child herself. The baby had fussed for hours, and surely he would be hungry, but his mother would never be able to feed him. “He’s your son.”
“The child has no mother,” Alejandro snapped. “How am I supposed to be what he needs? There’s no place for a baby here.”
Scarlett stepped forward and took the infant from Luna. When she looked at the squirming boy, Scarlett could see his mother in him. The child would never even be held by Sofía. “Luna, I need your help. I have some tinned milk in my bag. We need to feed the baby.”
“Good idea,” Cayetano commented, and watched Luna rummage through Scarlett’s backpack that sat on the third chair at the table. “It was lucky that we got hold of that tinned milk in Barcelona. People thought those supplies the Russians sent weren’t going to come in handy. I’m glad I took it when I got the chance. Lucky that shipment had been food and not weapons.”
“It’s been a while since we have been able to get milk,” Luna commented and looked at the blank tin in her hands.
Scarlett was still fixated on the baby in her arms. This poor innocent child, born into a world like this. The baby meant so much to her, and it wasn’t even her son. To see his face blue when she freed him from his mother’s body was terrifying. She had never performed mouth-to-mouth on a baby until last night. In a matter of minutes, she had murdered two women, watched her friend die and saved a life. It was all too much. “All babies are conceived out of love, or lust,” she said, and ran her fingers through the baby’s black hair. “All babies are born out of pain. All babies should be raised in joy, not grief.”
Luna couldn’t hold back her tears. “What are we going to do?” she whispered.
“You are going to hold this hungry baby for me,” Scarlett said and handed the wriggling infant to his aunt. Just holding the baby sent a deep ache through her belly, and she couldn’t take another ounce of pain. Death lived at number 15 San Martín, and this child didn’t belong there.
“We need to think of what we’re going to do now,” Cayetano said, and watched Scarlett pour the milk into a little glass bottle. It looked to be no more than a few mouthfuls of milk that she had for him. “It’s time to get out of Cuenca. It’s a miracle we weren’t discovered at the hospital!”
“What’s the point?” Alejandro spat at him. He still couldn’t turn in his seat and face the women who stood behind him by the stove.
“There is every point,” Scarlett said and shook the bottle. “Who’s going to feed the baby his first drink?” s
he asked.
“Don’t look at me,” Alejandro grumbled. “That’s a job that belongs to his mother.”
Scarlett shared a look with Cayetano. Alejandro was in such a deep pit of despair, and rightly so, but so much hung in the balance now. “Luna,” she said and turned to her. “You feed the baby.”
“I don’t know how,” she said. She could barely hold the grizzling baby that squirmed in her arms.
“Time to learn.” She handed her the little bottle. “Put the edge to his lips and let him taste the milk. He won’t know that it doesn’t come from his mother. Hold the bottle close to your breast, to comfort him.”
Luna held the bottle to the child’s mouth, and her hand shook. The shock of everything that had gone on ran through her, and only adrenaline kept her awake. She had taken the baby out of the hospital to her brother and just cried. He knew in a second that his wife was dead. The baby had begun to cry in her arms out in the cold. Not a word needed to be said. Luna had barely spoken since then, not when Scarlett and Cayetano brought Sofía’s body home, not when she sat with her sister-in-law on her bed, nothing. Her life was shattered. Now the baby was in her arms, and he grunted furiously while he searched for sustenance from the bottle. He didn’t need to be shown what it was; he latched on and began to suckle, much to Luna’s relief.
“Don’t force him,” Scarlett said quietly and ran her hands through his little curls again. “He won’t need much.”
“Ale,” Luna said. “Please, come to your son.”
“No,” he shook his head. “I can’t.”
Cayetano just looked at his destroyed friend. Things needed to be sorted out, and he needed to take over. Scarlett could only cope with so much, and Luna had more or less just become a mother. “We need to arrange a burial for Sofía, as soon as possible. Then, we are all leaving Cuenca for Valencia. Tomorrow, if we can.”
“How will we arrange a funeral in that time?” Luna asked.
“We don’t. We tell everyone that she went into labour last night, here at home, and she died before we could send for a midwife. Neither you, Luna, or Alejandro, had any idea what to do when Sofía began to bleed.”
“Won’t it seem suspicious that we didn’t call for help?” Luna asked.
“There was no help,” Alejandro said and sniffed. He didn’t even bother to wipe his tears from his face. “When I saw Sofía at the hospital after her shift, she said that the midwife on duty had been called away. That’s why Sister Rosa had offered to look her over…”
“Right, in that case, you did send for a midwife, but no one could be found. The hospital was locked up already, being as short-staffed as it is. By the time you got back to the house, you found Luna had managed to deliver the child, but Sofía had bled out.”
“Can’t we say that Scarlett was here?” Luna asked. She didn’t look up from the baby, who was nuzzling the teat on instinct.
“No, Scarlett had already left for Valencia.” Cayetano looked at Scarlett, who seemed unsure. “Nurse Montgomery had already left to catch a ship, in order to return home to Nueva Zelanda. That way, Scarlett can’t be implicated in the two bodies that have no doubt already been found in the hospital. We arrange for a private burial for Sofía, and we get the hell out of here. All of us. We just get into the truck, and we leave everything behind. It doesn’t matter where we sail for, as long as all of us get out of here.”
“We can’t just leave Sofía like that,” Luna said. Just the thought made hot tears come to her eyes. She just wanted to fall into Cayetano’s arms and sob and couldn’t.
“Don’t bury her here,” Alejandro muttered. “You know the stories of bodies being dug up and paraded to frighten the masses. I don’t want that for Sofía.”
“That happened to nuns bodies, and it happened in Barcelona, not in Cuenca,” Cayetano replied.
“Then we take her body with us,” Scarlett said. “We will find a safe place to bury her.”
“A quiet place, in the countryside,” Alejandro said and turned in the direction of the bedroom. Maybe he would finally go and see his wife. “Sofía wanted to live in the country. She wanted to be far away from all the suffering she saw. She … she wanted to have lots of babies…” His voice trailed off into sobbing and his head hit the table again.
Scarlett stepped forward and placed her hand on Alejandro’s shoulder. “Save her baby, Ale. A part of Sofía is here, and you can save him.”
“Let’s go to Valencia,” Cayetano said. “Let’s go today, before they start looking for the killers of the nurse and nun. We have nothing here, let’s just run. We can care for the girls and the baby in Valencia, Alejandro. We can find a safe place for Sofía.” His voice was gentle and sympathetic. The red rings around his eyes conveyed the pain that the others felt. “Soon Franco’s troops will be here. We will be killed and the girls will be raped. We need to get out of here.”
“Scarlett,” Alejandro’s voice croaked. “You take the baby. Take it to Nueva Zelanda with you.”
“Ale, no,” Luna interrupted. The baby had fallen asleep in her arms, and now that he was calm, Luna had regained some of her confidence. “He’s your baby. You can’t be separated from him.”
“Where will be safe for him?” Alejandro replied.
“Francia?” Cayetano offered. “We could try and go there.”
“No, he needs to be far away from this hellhole,” Alejandro replied, his voice full of hate now. “Take him, Scarlett. Tell them that he is yours and that you gave birth to him here. They will let him into the country with you. What’s the inglés name for Alejandro?”
“Um… Alexander… but I can’t do that,” Scarlett said. “I can’t take your son from you.”
“You need to save him!” Alejandro said and took a deep breath. “We’re all going to die. Soon even Valencia will be in the hands of the enemy. Take Luna with you.”
“No!” Luna said. “I’m staying here, and I’m marrying Cayetano.”
Alejandro turned to face his sister and the baby. “What?”
Luna held out her hand and showed him the Medina diamond. “I’m marrying Cayetano. I will not abandon this country, or my family. We will fight. Papá will come home to us, and we will figure this out. Together.”
“Papá is as good as dead in Madrid!” Alejandro said and stood up from his seat with great haste. “You can’t marry Cayetano!”
“I can, and I will,” she said with defiance.
“You don’t even know who he is! You don’t even know who his father is, or how he got his hands on a piece of the Medina jewellery collection.”
“Ale, this isn’t the time…” Cayetano said and stood up. His friend was close to losing control. “You know Sergio Medina is not my real father.”
“But his wife is your mother…”
“I don’t care who Cayetano’s family is. I want to be his wife,” Luna said.
“You know why Scarlett is leaving España, don’t you?” Alejandro goaded his sister. “Did Cayetano tell you?”
“Alejandro, please,” Scarlett said. “Love brings people together and there’s no stopping it. You and Sofía are proof of that.”
“We prove nothing,” he fired at her. “What do you know about love?”
“Enough! I’ve already buried my love out in the countryside!” she cried. “I dug a hole and placed him in it. I won’t forget Ulrich, like you won’t forget Sofía. I’ve been where you are right now, Ale. You must let us help you.”
“The pain will never cease, will it?”
Scarlett shook her head, and a few tears fell onto her shirt. “No, but for God’s sake, don’t abandon the baby.”
“There is no God out here, and we all know it.”
“There is nothing more violent than love. The scars it leaves on your soul will never heal. Nothing that war will do can hurt more than love,” Scarlett told him. Her accented voice shook when she spoke. “That doesn’t mean we should give up. No pasaran.”
“No pasaran,” Luna repeated.
They shall not pass. The slogan for Republicanos all over the country.
Alejandro looked at his little sister and shook his head. “Have you been with Cayetano?” he asked.
“I… what?” she stuttered. She knew what he meant.
“Did you defile my sister?” Alejandro eyed Cayetano. “Did you?”
Cayetano opened his mouth, but had no idea what to say. The truth wasn’t an option.
“Yes, I’ve been with him,” Luna said. “Because I wanted to.”
“Whore,” he spat at his sister. “You’re a fool. You know Scarlett is pregnant to your precious Cayetano, don’t you?”
Luna’s eyes widened, and she looked to her fiancé. The man froze on the spot. The look of fear in his eyes was unmistakable. Then she remembered what Scarlett had said the night before – Cayetano could be rough with women. She knew first hand. She looked down at the infant in her arms, and then to Scarlett, who took a few steps back from the group. The foreigner who didn’t belong here was going to ruin everything. “Are you pregnant?” Luna asked her. It was almost an accusation with the tone in her voice.
Scarlett brought her hand to her stomach on instinct, and then realised that the gesture gave away her secret. How she wished that she hadn’t told Alejandro about the baby. He already knew about the night in the tent with Cayetano. Her one mistake would ruin everyone’s lives, and she knew it. “Yes, I’m pregnant.”
“So, I’m faced with the choice of handing my baby to one of Cayetano’s whores who both stand in this room,” Alejandro said with a sarcastic laugh in his voice. “And to think they called Sofía a whore for getting pregnant before I married her. For all we know, Luna is pregnant to you, Cayetano, right now, just as Scarlett is!”
Luna turned to Scarlett and handed her the sleeping child. “Perhaps you should take him to Nueva Zelanda and tell them that he is yours. When I marry Ignacio, he won’t take the child.”
Secrets of Spain Trilogy Page 20