“And?”
“José wondered if we will still get married. I said that we sure are, and he said everything would be fine.”
“Really?”
“He said that women are not important. Men make life’s crucial decisions and women should bend to the will of men. Women can’t look after themselves so they can’t be blamed for mistakes either. Fabrizio is the one in the wrong. I can be the man who saved you, and you should be quiet.”
“Wow… that’s… wow…”
“Insulting, I realise that. But I was pretending to listen. José said to me, when he lived in Valencia, he saw and did lots of things that meant he helped women out of difficult situations. He learned how fickle they can be – his words!”
“Does he include his wife and daughter in that bitch-slap against our gender?”
“I’m afraid he does. When Mamá got pregnant at 15, that cemented her in the world of ‘useless and fickle’. José considers my father a saint for marrying my mother when she became pregnant.”
“Paco loves Inés. What did José do to help women in Valencia? I thought he was in the Guardia Civil.”
“Perhaps he went around scaring them into being good Catholic girls.”
“José in uniform… gives me the impression of a schoolyard bully with a gun.”
“He raped women who came to visit their husbands in prison. There is no way José helped anyone.”
“The guy freaks me out.” Luna looked around the farm; it’s seemed almost translucent in the moonlight. “José is a vile human being.”
“Sí. Though… I explained this whole drug scandal thing about Fabrizio, and José seemed quite understanding.”
“What?”
“José said that sometimes, a man finds himself in situations that aren’t ideal, and he needs to get through it any way he can.”
“People need to be responsible for their own actions.”
“He seemed to think Fabrizio hasn’t done anything wrong. Win at all costs, I guess.”
“Well, José is right, that was the attitude.”
“By José’s reckoning, we need to eliminate all the people who cause us trouble.”
“I can’t go out and kill Doctor Ferra or Irene Lupus, can I?”
“It’s the damn doctor’s fault. If he didn’t supply drugs…”
“No one had to take them. No one should get caught up with dodgy doctors in the first place. I don’t want to take any advice from José.”
They sat in silence for a while. Luna wanted to fall asleep on Cayetano’s shoulder, no matter how hard the ground beneath them. They managed keep the chill of the frigid air at bay when huddled together.
“I’ve got to say something,” she whispered. “But I don’t want anyone to hear it.”
“No one will, other than me,” Cayetano said and opened his eyes. “Or can’t I hear it either?”
“If I say it out loud, I won’t be able to take it back.”
“Then don’t say it.”
“If I say it, it will stop annoying me.”
“It’s possible.”
“If Fabrizio was still alive, and I met you… I would have left him to be with you. I feel so guilty for saying that because we were so happy, and it would have taken the kids from their father… but it’s true. I would want you, not Fabrizio.”
“It’s an impossible scenario, preciosa. If Fabrizio hadn’t died things would be very different.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m not in love with you, because of all this going on with Fabrizio. I want you. I love you.”
“I never doubted that. Luna, you drive me crazy and you’re stubborn, but I don’t doubt anything about you.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. Of all the shitty things that happened in the last few years, you are the only good thing that happened to me.”
“The biggest problem is the questions that will never be answered. Fabrizio holds all the answers.”
“Christ,” Luna muttered. “All the things that have gone on in Spain, and it’s this drug scandal that gets uncovered. When you compare it to the kinds of crimes that José must have committed, my problems are nothing.”
“This situation is still serious.”
“Are you going back to Madrid?”
“I’m afraid I must.”
“Can we come with you? The boys have another week off school.”
“Please come. I’m glad I don’t need to beg.”
Luna sat up straight and wiped the last of the tears from her face. In the pale moonlight, she could see Cayetano’s dark eyes fixed on hers, but her own gaze started to wander to his lips. He leaned forward and kissed her gently, just as she wanted. Over and over he kissed her, with a soft and soothing affection. He seemed so patient with her; hesitant beyond what any person should have to be with the person they love. Luna raised her eyes to his, and just looked at him in the anaemic light around them. “Te amo desde el fondo de mi corazón,” she said loud and clear.
“I love you from the bottom of my heart, too. Quiero que estés conmigo siempre.”
“I’ll always be with you, so no need to worry about that.” Luna paused while Cayetano kissed her again. “Make love to me,” she whispered against his lips.
“Here?”
“We could go home to the children and my dead husband’s parents if you prefer.”
Cayetano grinned. “Good point.”
“Besides, it’s our new home up here. We have to get to work sometime.”
“And this would be work?”
“This would make it ours. But I just want to love you tonight, and make all this sadness go away. When I’m with you, I can’t think about anything or anyone else.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he chuckled.
Caught up in a passionate kiss, Luna couldn’t feel the hard ground beneath her as Cayetano laid her back. The world disappeared, lost beyond the blanket that bound the pair together. With his tender and affectionate kisses against her neck, she felt nothing but his strong hands that had begun their dance over her body. Just for now, their troubles seemed to be lifted. Luna felt light, dizzy and warm in his arms, out on the hard limestone earth, hidden from the world at Escondrijo. Cayetano and Luna were the only two living things that stirred in the forest, and it wasn’t long before they became one for an adoring and impassioned moment. He seemed so careful with her, but allowed himself to become lost in the moment when he couldn’t fight the excitement and intimacy any longer. Cayetano had to let her lips go when he cried out through the darkened forest. Luna, too, took the opportunity to let her own cry of intensity echo through the lonely expanse.
They rested on the ground together for an hour before conceding defeat and went home in search of a far more comfortable place to sleep. By the time Luna arrived home, her apartment was in silence, and the voices in her head had calmed down again. Perhaps they could all get a little peace just for a while.
17
Madrid, España ~ Abril de 2010
Luna let out a cheeky little laugh as she stood pinned against the fridge. The kitchen at Rebelión was so large that her voice echoed, but she couldn’t stifle the giggle. She wasn’t sure what tickled more, Cayetano’s hand that slid around her waist, or the gentle kisses he rained down her neck. No matter how much the silly game made her laugh, Luna wasn’t going to ask him to stop.
Cayetano paused and brought his dark brown eyes up to meet Luna’s gaze, and she saw his mischievous grin. “I’m sorry,” he muttered as his large hands rubbed her back, “do you want me to stop?”
“Not for a second,” Luna replied and burst out laughing as he kissed her neck again. “But we aren’t alone!”
Cayetano brought his lips to hers and kissed her, a full, slow kiss that sent a spike of need through Luna; a need she wasn’t able to act on while in the kitchen. “We are never alone, so we need to steal moments like this one. You taught me that.”
“It adds to the fun,” she whispered as she rub
bed her nose against his.
“We’re in a new relationship, so we should have a lot of these moments. We should be besotted with one another. If we aren’t, we’re doing something wrong.”
Luna didn’t have a chance to agree before Cayetano smothered her in another kiss. They had been at Rebelión all week, away from the troubles Luna faced, and it worked wonders. Fabrizio’s parents had gone back to Italy, and the drug scandal had been quiet, and no one mentioned Escondrijo. Giacomo and Enzo could play, Luna could relax, and Cayetano could train, either in the purpose-built ring, or in the gym. Happiness; what a spontaneous new relationship should feel like, not filled with stress.
They heard Paco clear this throat behind them. “I’ll come back,” he said.
Cayetano turned to see his father in the doorway across the room. “Good idea, Papá.”
“No, no,” Luna said and wriggled out of Cayetano’s embrace. “Sorry, Paco, you shouldn’t need to tiptoe around your own home.”
“It’s all right,” Paco said with a grin, amused to find this grown son wrapped up in a passionate moment. “I’m just more old-fashioned than you kids. In my day, we were a little more discreet with our affections.”
“Really?” Cayetano probed and folded his arms. “Tell us more.”
“That’s the thing about discreet issues, Caya, they remain discreet.”
“Not so discreet once you got Mamá pregnant at 15!”
Luna giggled. “You wouldn’t exist if he hadn’t,” she reminded Cayetano.
Paco couldn’t hide the grin on his face. “I see your point. Imagine José in conservative sixties Madrid! ‘Good morning, Señor Morales, I got your innocent young daughter pregnant. We have been having an affair behind your back for two months, despite the fact I am twice her age, and she should be in school.’ It was the most painful blow to the face I’ve ever taken.”
“Papí punched you?” Cayetano laughed.
“More than punched me, he beat the shit out of me. José had spent years wrestling criminals, so I couldn’t match his anger. When he calmed down, and I had recovered, I had just been labelled bullfighter of the year, so he thought I was good enough to marry Inés. But still, awkward times. Our uncomfortable wedding photos show that.”
“Well, I can assure you, Paco, your son has not gotten me pregnant. I’m too old for all that.”
“Oh, some days I wish I could be 34 again,” Paco sighed. “Back then, Caya, you were just a baby and your sister hadn’t been born… your mother and I used come and stay at Rebelión and have fun in the kitchen, too. Though, the place didn’t have a fridge back then.”
“Thanks, Papá, that’s ruined the fun,” Cayetano joked.
Paco laughed. “What else are fathers for? I came to get a drink for the little ones.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Luna said. “You shouldn’t need to look after my boys.”
“Nonsense, they are outside with Inés and happy as anything. We may not have grandchildren, but our nieces and nephews have children, so Rebelión is well equipped to host your little boys.”
“You can sit back and relax,” Cayetano said to Luna as she got the boys’ water bottles from the fridge. “You gave Mamá and Papá the grandchildren they always wanted.”
“Luna, you won’t get any pressure for me, in regards to having a family,” Paco said. “Inés and I got blessed with Caya early on, but it took five more years before we could have Sofía. We understand the reality of struggling to have children. I remember your mother, Caya, desperate for a daughter. The priest she used to see back then told her that infertility was punishment for pre-marital sex.”
“That’s harsh,” Luna remarked.
Paco nodded. “You know about my disdain for the church, but I had to keep that quiet, for Inés’ sakes. What would a celibate man understand about fertility anyway? God doesn’t create babies, sex does.”
Cayetano laughed. “Thanks, Papá, we’re aware of how it works.”
“I know you are,” Paco said with a roll of his eyes.
“I think babies come when you least expect them,” Luna said. “I didn’t plan on having the boys, it just happened. In hindsight, I wish it had happened earlier, so they could have had more years with their father, but life gets in the way of best laid plans.”
“It does indeed,” Paco said. He gazed at the floor, but his eyes told Cayetano that his mind was far away. “When are you going back to Valencia, Luna?”
“Tomorrow. The boys have school, and I’m hoping that I will get my job back.”
“I’m glad to hear it. So, your honeymoon will still be the Tour de France?”
“I sure hope so,” Luna replied with a grin. “This year, my friend Darren could win the event, and it would be a great help to have Cayetano with me, looking after the boys. I could do it alone, but it would be very hard.”
“You found yourself a husband just in time,” Paco replied. “I assume you checked your events against Caya’s fighting schedule.”
“I realise you are in Seville and Jerez next week, before the big fight in Madrid. I can come to Madrid, but nowhere else. I would like to attend the fights in Ronda and Badajoz in June, but I’ll be too busy. After the Tour, Darren will be on a break, and I can come to a few fights. I might need to attend the Vuelta a España, the bike tour of Spain. Who knows, it depends on Darren’s legs.”
“Busy lady,” Paco remarked. “We will get our schedules together. I’m glad you will get your job back.” He looked over Luna at Cayetano who raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t as confident about the prospect as Luna.
The conversation paused as José entered the room. “This was not the room where I expected to find all the men of the family,” he said. “Cayetano, why aren’t you in the ring?”
“I was taking a break, Papí.”
“I didn’t know you had arrived, Padre,” Paco said to his father-in-law. “Do you need a hand with anything?”
“No, I took Consuela to sit with Inés and the little ones. Luna, delightful to see you in the kitchen. Our Caya needs a wife who can cook. That last one of his was more interested in her reflection than her wifely duties.”
Luna wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or cry. “Good afternoon, José.”
“Luna was just talking about her job with the cyclists,” Cayetano said for her. “We are getting her schedule aligned with mine so everyone can achieve their goals this year, all around the wedding in June.”
“I’m glad you found a church that can marry you late in the day because it will be hot,” José remarked. “I’m glad you believe in the Catholic faith, Luna. I suppose it was lucky that María refused a Catholic ceremony, or you two wouldn’t be able to marry at all, Caya.”
Luna swallowed hard. She had blocked out that part to her marriage to Cayetano. She only ever set foot in a church in Sicily to get married, or as a tourist around Spain.
“I hope there hasn’t been any funny business going on between you two,” José continued and pointed to his grandson and Luna. “My Inés got pregnant before her wedding, and I hope we aren’t going to have a repeat with the pair of you.”
Luna held her tongue and watched Paco try not to laugh. “No, Papí,” Cayetano said with a wide smile, “I promise you that there will be no pre-wedding baby announcement.”
“We were just talking about the priest we had when Inés and I got married,” Paco said. “Remember how he told her that pre-marital sex caused infertility?”
“Oh yes, I remember that,” José said. “It was a horrid thing to say. I remember Consuela crying about that. I suppose it was no surprise that both mother and daughter had trouble with their women’s business.”
“Women’s business?” Luna couldn’t help but probe the old man.
“I won’t pretend to understand how these things work,” José said. “All I know is that Consuela was terribly upset when she failed to have children, and we saw Inés suffer, as well. But God intervened and blessed our families with children.”
“Yes, of course we did,” the old man said. “Never mind what I say. I’m just glad that God gave us our children, and that Inés received a second child, like she wanted.”
Luna stood in silence. She wasn’t going to forget her previous conversation with José any time soon. He said Luna didn’t deserve to be a parent, so to hear him speak about the joy of family only hurt more. “Excuse me, gentlemen,” she said with a forced smile. “I need to see to my children.”
“I suspect that one is scared of me,” José said once Luna was out of earshot.
“She shouldn’t be,” Cayetano replied. “Luna should be able to come here and feel comfortable, Papí. She will be my wife soon. Plus, they don’t come much tougher than Luna.”
“That type of girl, with her own ideas, they can be trouble.”
“Padre,” Paco said, “times change. Luna is a charming girl.”
“You like to pick the troublesome girls, don’t you, Caya?” José uttered.
“Yes,” Cayetano replied. “I’m not even going to try to lie about that. I like women who use their brains, and have goals and dreams and ideas. Maybe I will burn in hell for that.”
“Don’t be sarcastic, it’s not your style,” José said with a glare. “Look at your last wife. You divorced María a month ago, and she is eight months pregnant already. That girl is trouble.”
Paco and Cayetano shared a look. No one else ever found out about María trying to pin her baby on Cayetano. One drunken hook-up almost sealed his fate. Luckily the baby belonged to María’s cameraman who worked on her celebrity gossip ‘news’ show.
“María and Luna are nothing alike,” Cayetano said. Apart from being distant cousins.
“I can’t speak for Luna’s virtue, but we know María has little,” José said. “In my day, we dealt with whores like her, in the manner they deserved.”
“We shouldn’t be speaking about anyone’s ‘virtue’, particularly not Luna’s,” Cayetano replied. “She is not an object.”
Secrets of Spain Trilogy Page 57