by Sian Ceinwen
Lita felt tears starting to fall as Sebastian replied, “I know, Lita. I do. I tried to warn you about what would happen when people found out about you, but it’s hard to explain to someone who’s never experienced it. You think you know, but you don’t. It’s not until you’ve lived with people dissecting your entire life through a microscope that you can ever really understand.
“I get that this is all happening really fast now. I should’ve prepared you more, thought about this, planned it better. I’m sorry, princess. I shouldn’t have waited until they found you to start sorting this shit out. I’m just trying to make sure you’re safe now.”
“Thanks, Seb. I guess we’ll talk more tonight. It just feels like nothing is in my control anymore. You’ve hired me a bodyguard, and you’re picking an apartment. Even the paparazzi get to decide when they’ll bother me. I’m at the mercy of everyone else all of a sudden,” Lita said through her tears.
“Oh, princess.” He sighed and was silent for a few moments before he continued, “I don’t want to pressure you or be making choices for you. Look, I’ll talk to the agent that’s helping me. Maybe we can find a rental that will do for now, and you can help me look for an apartment. If you’re going to live in it, it’s only fair you have a say in what I buy.”
“Thanks, Seb.” Lita smiled as she said it. “You’re the best. I’m sorry I’m a crying mess. Hormones and this kind of craziness clearly don’t mix well.”
“We’ll get through it, princess. Remember, this is all just stuff. Our baby is what’s important. No matter what gossip you hear in the break room, you know the truth of what’s between you and me. Nobody else is relevant. Just you, me, and our baby. Tonight, I’ll kiss away your tears and give you so many orgasms you forget about all of this bullshit,” he said softly.
Lita laughed. “I’m going to hold you to that promise, Sebastian Fox. Okay, I’m starving now, and my bagel is calling to me. Let me know how it goes with the apartments; I’ll get back to my work, and I’ll see you when I’m finished.”
She hung up and started eating her bagel as she looked at the reply Becky had sent to her text.
Shit. Did Sebastian get you a bodyguard? I think you should take him up on the idea of moving. There are so many threads on Reddit with info about you. It’s sick.
It was completely bizarre to Lita to be in this position. She had been a part of those discussions in the past, gossiping with other fans about Ariana, or ‘Ariel’ as they knew her at the time, and weighing in on Harrison cheating on Heather, and the rumors of her cheating on Harrison with Sebastian. Acting as if she actually knew anything about what they were talking about.
She’d loved being a part of the Cruise Control fandom, but now she was on the other side of it. The baby growing inside her had gained her a permanent place in their inner circle. Lita was one of them now, tied to Sebastian and the band. That moment she’d walked out of the hotel yesterday morning was the point when life as she knew it had changed forever.
Lita could fall into a heap and let it crush her, or she could accept the love and support her friends, family, and Sebastian were offering her and deal with it. She knew her hormones were controlling a lot of her reactions to things lately, but she made the decision to face this head-on. This ride had been in motion since June, and there was no turning back now.
With that thought, she finished eating her food, then sank back into her work. This was one thing she could control, and she found it deeply satisfying. Programming was all so logical—you wrote commands, and they were executed. If a bug came up in the code, there was usually a reason. You could find it, fix it, and see the result play out in front of you.
This was all so much easier than the murky waters of human relationships, where people often didn’t say what they truly meant, where people felt ownership over a band and its members as though they were owed pieces of them because they were a fan of their music. Where paparazzi felt it was okay to harass a pregnant woman because of the person she’d chosen to have sex with.
Yes, programming was far more straightforward. The game she was working on now was much easier than the last one as well. The afternoon passed by quickly for Lita. The physics engine was better to work with, and there were no sneaky chairs causing trouble in this game. Around four, she sent Sebastian a text.
If you guys want to come get me, I should be finished about five. How did it go with the apartments?
A few minutes later, he sent her a reply.
We’ll be on our way soon. Found a place for now. I can show you tonight if you want? I already have keys, and it’s furnished.
Lita shook her head, but she kept in mind her decision from earlier. Sebastian was just trying to keep her safe. She had decided she would accept the support he was offering her. He knew this situation better than she did; she needed to trust him.
Sure. We’ll still need to go to my place so I can get clothes and stuff, though.
A second later, her phone started ringing, and Lita laughed as she answered it. “Hi, Seb.”
“You’re willing to stay there? From tonight?” he asked her.
“Yeah, you said you have the keys already. I assumed you meant we could stay there, was I not right?” Lita wondered.
“No, we can stay there right away. It’s a month-by-month lease and furnished, as I said. I’m just surprised because I thought I’d have to talk you into it,” Sebastian told her.
“Look, we’ll talk when you get here. I’ll explain. I still have some shit to get finished, and the longer we talk, the longer it’ll be before I can leave,” Lita said.
“Okay, princess…” He trailed off and paused for a second. “Thank you, though.”
“You’re welcome, Seb. I’ll see you soon.”
A bit after five, Lita turned off her computer and made her way downstairs. She was starving; she’d been so engrossed in her work she hadn’t ended up eating anything other than the bagel Simon had gotten for her. Once the elevator arrived at the lobby, she got out of it with the three other people who had traveled down with her and stepped aside to wait.
Sebastian had told her Daryl would come in to get her, because she knew him, while Benjamin would be driving the car they were riding in. Lita could see there was a large number of people waiting at the entrance to the building. They were asking her co-workers questions as they walked outside, and Lita felt sick to see a few of them stopping to talk.
It felt like a betrayal, made even worse by the knowledge that, in the past, she might have done the same. There was nothing like being confronted like this with how shitty your own behavior had been. After a minute or two, she was grateful to see Daryl make his way through the crowd and enter the building.
“Hi, Miss Ciccone,” he said as he approached.
“Hi, Daryl, I’ve never been so grateful to see someone in my life!” she told him.
He smiled at her. “Okay, it’s going to be a bit scary, but this is what I do. I’ll make them stay back, and nobody should even get close enough to touch you. Ben is going to bring the car around to stop right in front of the entrance. We only need to get to the car from here. Any questions?”
“I don’t think so. I trust you, but it’s pretty terrifying,” she admitted.
“I understand. Just stay behind me, stay close, and you’ll be fine.” He gave her a reassuring smile.
Lita saw a big, black SUV pull up in front of the building, and Daryl indicated to her it was time for them to go. A few co-workers were hanging around in the lobby, seeming unsure about leaving, and were watching them.
Daryl walked in front of her, and as the doors opened, he yelled in an authoritative voice, “Everybody needs to stand back now.”
Lita was surprised when they did move back. There were cameras constantly flashing, though. They were calling out questions similar to the ones from this morning, and Daryl told them she wouldn’t be answering anything. She stayed close to him, and when they reached the car, he opened the door for her to cli
mb in.
Sebastian was sitting in the back seat, and Lita immediately burst into tears as he put his arm around her and pulled her toward him for a hug. He used his other hand to turn her face up to his and kissed her as she continued shaking and crying.
“You did really well, princess,” he told her.
“Thanks.” She wiped at her eyes and took a shaky breath. “It was so fucking scary.”
“I know. We’re going to go now, but we need to know where your car is.” Sebastian smiled at her.
Lita told them where the parking garage was, and the man she assumed was Benjamin did a U-turn so they could drive back to it. She explained to him where in the garage she’d parked her car, told him it was a blue Hyundai Elantra, and gave him the number plate. He assured her he would take it to the new apartment, and she thanked him. Daryl got into the driver’s seat of the SUV and drove them toward her apartment.
“So, you’re really okay with moving?” Seb asked her.
Lita smiled at him. “Yes, Seb. I realized I could let this shit break me, or I can accept your support and just get through it. You’re right, our safety”—she put her hand protectively on her baby bump—“is the single most important thing.”
“Best baby mama ever.” Sebastian smiled at her and kissed her again.
Thankfully, there was nobody waiting for her when they arrived at her apartment. The experiences at her work, plus her decision to accept the support she was being offered, had made her decide to go ahead with the move anyway. She didn’t want to wait until she had to experience it here before she moved somewhere secure.
She and Sebastian both went inside. He helped her pack some suitcases with clothes and a few other things she would need in the interim. He told her when they’d picked a more permanent accommodation, he would get people in to pack up her things and move them for her. Lita had never in her life had someone else do her packing and moving, but she was exhausted just by the thought of doing it, and she couldn’t really do any heavy lifting anyway.
Lita was starving, so she made them both dinner, and they ate together while he showed her some apartment options on his phone. He told her he and Daryl would bring the contents of her fridge and pantry to the new place the next day while she was at work, and they boxed up the things they might need if they wanted breakfast the next morning. Sebastian called Daryl, who had gone off for his own dinner, to let him know they would be ready to leave soon.
“This is still really weird,” Lita told him, giving the apartment one last look. “I’ve just realized I probably won’t come back here again.”
Sebastian looked at her. “Shit, you’re right. I’m sorry, Lita.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing; it’s not going to change anything, and we both love our baby. All this craziness is just stuff. It’s just weird because, last night, you asked me if you could crash with me, now I have to crash with you…probably permanently.” She wrinkled her nose at him.
“You’re crashing with me for now, princess. Once I buy a place, you’ll be renting it from me, and I want you to consider it yours. I will hand over all keys to you, like any other landlord.” He smiled kindly at her.
“Oh, geez, I’m not sure having you as my landlord is any better,” Lita laughed.
Sebastian grinned. “Don’t make me put the apartment in your name and refuse to let you pay me anything, princess. I swear, I’ll do it if I hear any complaints from you about who your landlord is.”
“Noted. No complaints from me.” Lita shook her head, then looked around. “Oh, there’s one other thing I almost forgot!”
She walked into her bedroom, opened her bedside drawer, and put most of the contents in a bag she was carrying on her shoulder. None of her other things were meaningful enough that she would care about strangers packing them up for her. This drawer held her small amount of jewelry and sentimental items, not to mention the vibrator she carried out in her hand to show him.
“I couldn’t forget this,” Lita smirked at Sebastian. “I have to have a way to get orgasms, you know.”
His eyes darkened at once, and a seductive smile crept across his face as he strode over to her. He took the vibrator out of her hand, then reached down to press it between her legs before turning it on to the highest setting. Lita felt the vibrations strongly, even through her pants, and she moaned loudly.
“Yes, we definitely need this,” Sebastian said huskily as he turned it off again.
Lita was panting for breath as she asked, “So, do we christen the new place tonight? Or do we say goodbye to this place?”
“As much as I want you to sort out my incredibly blue balls, princess, I’d rather get somewhere secure with you as soon as possible.”
“Okay.” Lita sighed dramatically. “I think I can manage until we get to the new place.”
In answer, Sebastian placed the vibrator between her legs and turned it on again. He left it on longer this time, and Lita couldn’t stop herself from moaning his name as she felt the waves of pleasure coming over her. She could feel her orgasm approaching and was eager for it when Sebastian turned the vibrator off again.
Lita’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Sebastian Fox, you can’t do that to me!”
He grinned wickedly at her. “Yes, I really can. Fuck, I love how responsive you are. Now you can be just as on edge as I’ve been all day, thinking about getting you into bed.”
“I hate you so much.” Lita pouted at him.
Sebastian laughed. “No, you don’t. Anything else you need to take with you tonight?”
“Nothing I need more than you inside of me, that’s for sure,” she told him.
Sebastian laughed. “Well, Daryl and I can always come back here and get anything you need that you’ve left behind.”
She walked downstairs with Sebastian as he carried one of her suitcases with him, and she got into the black SUV. She sat and waited while Sebastian and Daryl loaded it up with the things she’d decided to bring with her. The vibrator was now safely stowed away in the bag on her shoulder.
Lita cuddled with Sebastian as they drove to a secure apartment in downtown Seattle. It looked incredibly fancy, and Lita wondered briefly how much Sebastian had paid to rent it before pushing the thought aside. She couldn’t focus on his money or how he chose to spend it. They’d come to an agreement in regards to this, which she was comfortable with. His finances were his own to deal with.
They settled into a routine that week. Sebastian and Daryl went back to her place a couple of times for things she hadn’t realized she would need. The apartment they were staying in was luxurious, not quite as nice as Sebastian’s in Chicago, but a lot nicer than hers. In the evenings, Lita and Sebastian would have kind of epic sex after Ben dropped her back at the new apartment after work. They had sex in the mornings as well, because Sebastian had decided to set himself an alarm so he could wake up earlier for it.
Each morning, Ben would pick her up from the apartment building’s underground garage in a big, black SUV. He would drive her to work and escort her into the building. The paparazzi were hanging out there all day; it was becoming really problematic, and Lita hated the issues this was causing for her office. Every person entering or exiting the building was subjected to questions about Lita and Sebastian. Police had been called to clear them away a few times, but they had always been back there when Lita had come or gone from the building.
The stories online had increased as well. Lita had created a new Reddit account because she couldn’t handle all the notifications she was constantly getting from her old one. About half of the threads in the Cruise Control subreddit were about her, Sebastian, and their baby. Most of the others were about Gabriel and Ariana’s upcoming wedding.
On Wednesday, Ariana had called Lita and asked her if she would like to come to Chicago to attend her bachelorette party, which was on Sunday afternoon. Lita had been hesitant to accept, she didn’t really know Ariana that well, but Heather had encouraged her to come. So, she’d a
ccepted, even though she felt weird about it, and they were flying out on Saturday morning. Sebastian had insisted he didn’t want her to have to go through the airport, so they were flying out from an airfield outside of Seattle on a private jet to get to Chicago.
Lita arrived at work earlier than usual on Friday, and there were fewer paparazzi at her office when Ben helped her get into the building. She was sitting at her desk, doing her work, when Simon came over to see her.
“Hi, Lita, could you come with me for a minute?” he asked her with a stiff smile.
Lita’s heart dropped as she nodded and followed him; he looked serious, and she was worried she was in trouble. The only thing she could think of was the paparazzi. It had been a major issue, and she’d heard a couple of conversations from people complaining about it. Ben had been going and getting her lunch every day since Tuesday, so she hadn’t had to ask Simon to do that for her again, at least.
Simon led her to a meeting room where the head of their department, John Rogers, was sitting alongside two people she vaguely recognized as being from Human Resources. Lita took a seat facing them, while Simon sat at the end of the table to her right, where he could probably see everyone.
“Lita. You know John, of course. This is Andrew Foster, our head of Shared Services, and Sonya Metcalfe, our manager of Human Resources. We really appreciate the work you do for us; you’re an exceptional employee—” Simon began.
“Am I being fired?” Lita interrupted him.
“No, Lita. No, not at all.” He glanced over at the other people in the room.
John caught her eye and smiled at her. He was a very intelligent man, who had worked his way up in the company from being a programmer like herself, and Lita liked him well enough.
“Unfortunately, Lita, the situation with having you working in this building is becoming untenable. The people outside are harassing other employees. We’re very sympathetic to your situation, but we have to be able to maintain a safe work environment, not just for you, but for hundreds of other employees as well,” John said.