by Elsie James
“Hello. I need the HR file for Shane Sanders.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t give you the file, Miss. Besides, there isn’t a paper file for anyone. It’s all electronic.”
Why is this woman trying to be difficult? “Wonderful, so give me the login or whatever I need. It's Shane, S-h-a-n-e, Sanders, S-a-n-d—”
She stops me. “Yes, thank you. I know how to spell the name. I don’t have the security clearance to access the file. I’m sorry. You’ll need to email our director, and she can get you anything you need, I’m sure of it.” Unbelievably she goes back to typing.
I tap the heel of my shoe against the hardwood floor. She can help me. And she will. Not someone else at another time. This woman. I read her name tag, Judy. Judy will get me what I need. Changing tactics, I give her a sugary grin.
“Oh, is that your cat?” I point to the framed photo on her desk.
“Yes, she smiles. That’s Scooter.”
“Awww, he is adorable. You’ve met my cat, Duchy, right?”
“I have! I love when she comes to visit me at my desk.”
“Well, Duchy knows a cat mom when she sees her.”
Judy smiles and I know I’ve won.
“Judy, listen. You know what an outstanding person my father is, right?”
“Oh, a wonderful boss.”
“You have been so helpful to him over the years. I know he appreciates it.”
Judy beams. “It’s been a privilege. When my husband got sick, your father donated the cost of his medical expenses. It allowed him to spend his final days at our home.”
I reach across her desk and take her hand, genuinely touched by her story. I take a small detour from my mission, wanting Judy to be heard. “Tell me about your husband.”
Judy tells me about her marriage and the things she loved about her husband. Her eyes well at the memory as she continues. I can’t help but wonder if I will ever experience a love like theirs.
“Look at me, blabbering on. I apologize.”
“Don’t apologize. I wanted to hear it.” And I mean it.
“What is it you needed, dear?” Judy asks sincerely.
“You may have heard that Shane is taking over many responsibilities for my father. Well, I want to…surprise them. But I need a little help. And you’re the only one who can help me. So please, could you print anything you have access to? It’ll be our secret.”
◆◆◆
Sitting at my desk, I scour the pages of the file one by one for details about Shane. I need to find something, anything that will prove to Daddy that Shane has been plotting for years. He needs to be out of our company and out of my life.
If I’m being honest, it makes me sad. Shane was brilliant with those kids. He’s incredibly sexy. But it’s not just his superhero good looks; it’s the way he took charge of my body. He looked at me like he really saw me. I just cannot believe it was all a part of his act. He should get an award for this. Really, Shane, well-played.
There’s nothing here. Seventy-six pages and I’m not one step closer to knowing who Shane really is. But I do have an address. I told Shane that driving was beneath me, but for this, I will make an exception. Besides, it's clear he and Jeffery are in cahoots, so I am on my own for this one.
Buckling my seatbelt, I put his address into my navigation. I follow its directions to the top of the hill. In general, the higher you are on the hill, the nicer your place is. Shane’s address is close to our ranch. What a hypocrite! Anyone that lives this high on the hill has no room to talk about entitlement. How much are we paying him anyway?
“You have arrived at your destination,” my navigation tells me. But this can’t be right. I’m at the post office. I open the file and double check. Yes, this is the address he listed. I walk into the building and immediately match the address with the numbers on one of the PO boxes.
Here we have it folks—another lie by Shane Sanders. He has his mail delivered to a mailbox on snob hill. And I was falling for him. Even slept with him! In a ballroom! How classy of me. Ugh, I shake my head at the thought. I’m such an easy target.
But this time feels worse than the others. Shane got to me. Made me believe him. And he hasn’t just targeted me. He’s targeted my whole family. Our company. Daddy.
I rip open the file again, my brain furiously combing it for details. I start my car but then turn it off as I see a familiar gray truck pull into the parking lot. Shane hops out of his truck, keys in hand. This is my chance. I settle back into my seat and pull my front visors down. If he won’t tell me who he is, then I’ll have to find out on my own.
When Shane returns to his car, mail in hand, I follow him out of the parking lot. Thankfully, Shane doesn’t think I drive, so I can follow him closely. We wind down the curves of the hill and straight through our town’s main street. Shane pulls into a tiny bungalow on the outskirts of downtown. Hmm. So this is where he lives. Shane, with his giant truck and his expensive necklace, lives in a tiny bungalow.
It’s go time. I hop confidently out of the front seat of my car, slamming the door dramatically. “Weeeeeelllllll. This is interesting.”
Shane’s face hardens. He knows he’s caught. “Ainsley? What the hell?”
“That’s right, Shane. I came to your house to visit you. Your real house, that is. I’m assuming you live here and not at the post office on the hill.”
“You’re crazy. Actually insane. What is this?”
“Oh, I know everything! Are you mad? Good, because so am I. I know that you’ve been targeting us for years, first Daddy and then me.”
“What are you talking about? Targeting?”
I hold the picture up. “This is you, isn’t it? You, the man who has only known Daddy since coming to work for him?”
He lets out an exasperated sigh. “Ugh. Calm down. Let me explain.”
“No, let me explain. I will not stand around while you take advantage of my family. You know, I wouldn’t have believed that it was you except for your necklace. Even back then, it looks like you wore it everyday. Where did you get it, anyway? That necklace is much too nice for someone like you.”
“Stop. Don’t say another word. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Yes, I lied. But it’s because I don’t want you to judge me for my past. And frankly, the more I get to know you, the more I’m sure that you would.”
“Don’t you dare turn this around on me. I’m not the one who lied. You may not like all the parts of me, but I have been myself every minute since I’ve met you.” Tears well in my eyes, and I turn and walk to my car.
Shane grabs my arm. “Listen,” he says.
But I’m done listening. “No, Shane. I can’t listen, because you know what, you’re good. You are really good at what you do. You must have done your homework on me, because I fell for every word. I believed you when you held me. I actually thought that you might be the person who loves me in spite of my money, not because of it.”
I take the final step toward my car. I hear him call my name, but the tears are streaming down my face, and I refuse to let myself turn around.
We are done here.
◆◆◆
With Daddy’s retirement party just a few days away, I bury myself in planning the final details. I am inexplicably sad after discovering the truth about Shane. I should be relieved, but I almost wish I didn’t know. Even though he was pretending, I wasn’t. I was…happy. Shane made me feel like I wanted to be more than what I am. He made me smile everyday.
I scroll my emails with a numbness that I’m getting used to. One from Jessa—it sounds like the flowers are turning out perfectly. Another from the caterer confirming the menu. Hunter will give the toast even though it is the last thing he wants to do. This all feels mundane without the possibility of Shane popping through my office door at any second. He has steered completely clear of me, confirming details through his secretary.
I open an email from Mary’s Daisy with the subject, “Thank You.” A video montage loads. C
hildren from the center playing on the new playground. Our team posing with them. The little girl with the princess braid in her hair standing next to me. And Shane. So many pictures of Shane. Shane playing basketball with the kids. Shane with a pile of kids on his back. Shane with his arm around me.
Watching Shane’s face pass by in each slide tells me that he can’t be all bad. Shane looks proud in these pictures. And he should be. All of this, each smile on the face of these kids, is because of him.
I wanted to do a pet fashion show. He was the only person who was willing to stand his ground with me in that boardroom.
Thank goodness he did. Shane challenged me to do more, and this is what came of it. This is how Daddy would want to be honored, with action. A philanthropic project that doesn’t just celebrate his work, it continues it. I can see why Daddy likes Shane, even if he is a liar.
The sound of heavy steps approach my office door. I sit up straight and do a quick check of my hair. I wasn’t expecting Shane to pop in but I am partly thrilled. I take a deep breath and remind myself to hold him accountable.
“Hey, Pumpkin.” Daddy’s big hands wrap around my door frame.
I exhale, disappointed. “Daddy, hi. I’m glad you stopped in, I need to show you something.” I take the photo of him with Shane from my top drawer. My hand shakes because I know that once I show him this picture, there is no going back.
He is going to be heartbroken when he realizes Shane has been targeting him all along. He will have Shane escorted off of the property. I’m not sure I’m ready for that because there is so much I love about Shane. But I have no choice. It’s what’s best for all of us. I hold up the photo.
“Oh! I remember that game. Great down to the last shot. They went into double overtime.”
“Daddy, look at the man two seats from you. Does he look familiar to you?” My voice catches in the back of my throat and I swallow hard. My heart hurts.
“Yes! That’s Shane. The game was actually his idea.”
My jaw hits the floor. His idea? My dad has a hard time taking suggestions from anyone. Shane is just a teenager in this photo. How is this possible?
“But, why was he there? You wouldn’t take Hunter on any company trips but you took Shane? And he must have been only a teenager at the time. I’ve done a little research and he hasn’t been honest with us, Dad. He doesn’t even live at the address he gave. I think he’s been trying to get close to you for a long time. He is using you and me, too, to further his position with the company. There’s a reason he has the reputation he does.”
“Oh, Ainsley, there’s nothing malicious going on here. Of course I knew Shane back then. He must have been 17 or 18 years old. It was back when he was having trouble with his foster family. I told him that if he could control his behavior for six months, I would take him anywhere he wanted to go. That game is what he picked, so I invited my colleague and your Uncle David. We made a trip of it.”
“Wait. Shane was in foster care and you knew him?” I hear Daddy but it’s taking my brain a minute to catch up with what’s happening.
“Yes. Back then, you were teenagers, living your own lives. And with your mother still around, you didn’t need as much from me. Being involved in my community, you know, giving back. It has always been important to me. So, I donated money to an organization called Mary’s Daisy downtown. I spent time there, got to know the kids.”
Tears well in my eyes. Daddy is amazing. Shane is amazing.
He continues. “I noticed Shane right away when I started spending time at the center. He was hard to miss, huge even then. But he was also a kid who spent more time at the center than any of the others. Weekends, holidays, you name it, Shane was there. He had nowhere else to be. His mom tried her best but she was in and out of his life, so he was in and out of foster care.
“Shane grew on me. I decided to become a permanent volunteer in their mentorship program, and I requested to be partnered with Shane. I knew with a little guidance, he would soar, and he has. One of my proudest moments was the day Shane asked me to interview for a position here. He wore a suit and shook my hand. Shane promised me that he would never be outworked, and he kept his word.”
I’m dizzy with the realization of what I've done. No wonder he freaked out when I called Jeffery poor. No wonder he looked so comfortable at Mary’s Daisy; he was home.
“He’s been through so much and come out a strong person. I think of him as one of my own. I love him.”
“Daddy…so do I.”
Chapter 6: Shane
My world without Ainsley in it is bleak. I shouldn’t have lied to her. We’re so good together that I just didn’t want to lose her. Nothing is impossible for Ainsley, and when I am with her, I, too, believe I have no limits. I’m ready to take a chance and trust her with who I really am. This has gone on long enough. Ainsley has a huge heart, and I’m ready to trust her with mine. She belongs with me. Other people can give her anything she wants, but nobody can love her like I do.
I text Ainsley and ask her to meet me at Mary’s Daisy. It’s not a five star dinner, and I’m not sure if she’ll come, but I have to try. These people are my family, and if she’s going to love the real me, this is a part of it. I haven’t missed an annual bonfire since I was fourteen. Plus, if I didn’t show up, who would make my famous s’mores that the kids look forward to all year?
Pacing the parking lot, I look for Jeffery in a black SUV, but he never shows. Instead, Ainsley drives herself. She arrives in jeans and a gray t-shirt. She’s hardly recognizable and more beautiful than ever. I walk toward her as she gets out of her car.
“Sorry,” we say at the same time.
“Ainsley, I’m sorry.”
She stops me, holding out her hand. “No, I’m sorry. That’s not me. What I said about Jeffery, I didn’t mean it. Those words never should have come out of my mouth. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to feel normal. But you do that to me. You challenge me. You help me feel like a normal person. I love that about you.”
“Ainsley, I spent my childhood here. That’s how I met your father. I never wanted his money. But I can admit I always wanted to find ways to be around him. He was the man I hoped to be one day. I never should have lied to you. And you shouldn’t have followed me…to my house…like a stalker.” I have to laugh at the last part. The thought of Ainsley building a case against me and following me through town is ridiculous.
“I most definitely should not have followed you,” she chuckles in agreement.
I pull her close to me and hug her. Not wanting to ever let go. We hear a happy sound and look toward the building. The kids greet us in the doorway. I kiss the top of her head and release her. Taking her hand, I lead her to the fire pit.
“Can we make you a s’more?” I ask her.
The kids help me roast a perfectly toasted marshmallow. We sandwich it in chocolate and wrap our creation in a flakey crescent roll cooked over the open flame. The kids cover it with rainbow sprinkles and present it to her on a blue paper plate.
“Try it! Try it!” The kids chant. “Shane always makes the best s’mores, and we gave you extra sprinkles!”
Ainsley takes a bite and turns to the kids, giving them a thumbs up as she chews. “This is excellent! I can’t believe I’ve lived for so long without s’mores.”
I take a seat next to Ainsley around the bonfire. The moon illuminates the star-filled sky. I wrap us together in a blanket and pull her close. She leans into me as the kids take turns sharing stories and singing to the music. Ainsley, even with her lavish life, fits here somehow. I don’t know how she does it, but she blends seamlessly into my world. Laughing, asking questions, and making sure each family has the chance to tell their story. She is incredible.
As the families make their way to the exit, we stand to hug them goodbye. I volunteer Ainsley and me to stay and tend the fire. “I have something for you.” I tell her.
“What? Shane, no. You shouldn’t have gotten me anything. I should be apologizing t
o you and buying you a present.”
“No. I don’t want you to buy me anything, ever. I thought we covered this.” I smirk at her.
I take off my necklace and hand it to her. “Here. This necklace belongs to my mother. She’s not perfect, but she’s always done her best. Before I went into foster care for the first time, she gave it to me. She told me that it was the nicest thing she owned and that she only wanted me to think of the nicest parts of her. I’ve worn it everyday since.”
She clasps her hand around the pendant. “Shane, you don’t have to…”
“No, Ainsley. I do. I never should’ve lied to you. I was worried that if you found out who I really was, you’d judge me for my past. But I never should’ve doubted you because you are your father’s daughter.
“I was on the edge when I met him, one step away from slipping through the cracks. Leo showed me what it looks like to be a man. To love fiercely and protect selflessly. He saved my life. Spent time with me and took a chance on me when I had nothing to give him in return.
“You are just like him. I’ve watched you here with the kids. They felt heard, valued. You let them know that their stories matter. You created an initiative that honors employees by literally giving them a seat at your table. You lead your team with integrity, and you make me want to do the same thing. You are every bit the daughter he deserves.”
The light of the fire flickers on Ainsley’s face. Her eyes well with tears. “So, this is you? This is the real Shane? A fresh start, with no lies?”
“Ainsley, I love you even though you wear ridiculous shoes. I might even grow to love Duchy overtime. You bring out the best parts of me and I want to stand by you through every event in your life. You won’t walk all over me, in fact I promise I will challenge you everyday. But I will never stop loving you.”
She smiles at me and I hold out my hand.
“Hi, I’m Shane. I grew up here at Mary’s Daisy and your dad saved my life. Nice to meet you.”