by Amanda LeMay
“You said you were ready,” I panted out between kisses, “ready to give me everything you’ve got.”
He stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. “You ready for me?” His voice was deep and husky.
Was I? Was I ready to give myself to him? Was I ready to let him see me, really see me? Was I ready to see him work so hard not to see what another Alpha had left on my skin?
I opened my mouth, not knowing what would come out, but I didn’t get the chance to answer.
Gunner’s phone rang inside the car.
I closed my mouth. I wasn’t ready.
“Baby, ignore it.”
“But...”
The phone continued until it stopped ringing and went to voicemail.
“Simone, I’m ready. I am so fucking ready to be your everything.”
“My...everything?”
“If I’m moving too fast for you, you tell me. The last thing I want to do is scare you.”
“I’m not afraid. Well, I am, a little, but,” I swallowed, “I feel safer with you than I have ever felt in my life.”
He smile and nodded. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in any hurry and I know you’re probably not ready for some other male to put his mark on you, but baby, when I do it, it’s gonna be forever and not just because I want to own you.”
“Gun...” Something welled up inside of me as tears leaked out the corners of my eyes.
He leaned down, kissed the skin right at the curve between my neck and my shoulder, the exact spot where he would leave his mark on my flesh. His entire body trembled in my arms as he sighed heavily along my neck. Would he bite me now? Would he put his mark on me and claim me as his potential mate? Was I ready to have another male’s mark on me?
Yes.
His phone started its incessant ringing all over again.
He growled. “Fucking hell!”
“Maybe you’d better answer.” I tried to move away, but he held me tight.
“Simone—”
A howl sounded, off in the direction of the ranch house. Every wolf around picked up the howl and it passed from one wolf to another.
Gunner leaned into the car through the window, snagged his phone, did a few sweeping movements with his thumb, and held it up to his ear.
“Yeah, what the hell is so damned important?” He paused and listened for a moment. “Is it Rule? We’ll be right there. We’re out at the stone cabin so we’ll be coming in the back way.” He pulled the phone away from his ear, touched the little screen, and shoved it in his back pocket.
“Rule? He’s here?” Odd. I wasn’t panicking. I wasn’t scared. I was ready to face him.
“Don’t know. There’s a limo headed this way, the windows are blacked out so my guys couldn’t see who was inside. It must be locked up good ’cause they didn’t catch a scent, either.”
He opened the passenger door and I slid into the seat. He walked around and folded himself in behind the wheel, then leaned over and kissed me deep and hard. The sudden rush made me dizzy. He turned the key in the ignition, backed the car up, and we were off, racing toward the house.
He shifted gears and glanced over at me. “You are ready for me. Don’t you think for one second you’re not. You are.”
Yes, I was ready and glad he thought so too, but still...I wasn’t so sure he was as ready as he believed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“IS IT HIM? SMELLS LIKE a damn flower,” Gunner muttered.
“I...don’t...I can’t tell.”
My senses were so weak, I had no idea what I was scenting for. It didn’t help much that Gunner had insisted I change into one of his giant, flannel shirts before stepping out the front door. I’d gone to my room, removed my button-down blouse, and slipped a plain, white camisole over my head. Gunner’s shirt hung on me like a tent and covered me in his scent, making it much more difficult for me to smell anything other than him.
The limo pulled around, making a large U-turn right in front of where we stood on the porch, then came to a stop. Though I could sense he was a wolf, I didn’t recognize the driver as he quickly walked to the passenger door.
A familiar, sweet floral scent floated on the breeze.
I knew that scent as well as I knew my own.
My breath sped up as my pulse pounded in my ears. A peculiar possessiveness pricked my skin and suddenly, I didn’t want the wolf arriving in that limo within a thousand miles of Gunner.
Disappointed. Ashamed. Dishonored.
The words echoed through my heart, threatening to rip open a nearly healed wound.
Gunner whispered from my left. “Who is that?” His fingers touched the inside of my forearm, sending a rush of warmth up through my body.
“My mother.”
A deep, menacing growl came from inside me. I had never growled before. Never.
“Simone?” Gunner’s whisper was full of concern. “You okay with this?”
I turned to see Gunner’s canines long and gleaming, a question in his beautiful green eyes. A question and something else, and I understood immediately what that something else was—he knew what she had done.
“Which one told you? Jessy or Derry?” They were the only two with whom I had discussed my mother.
“Both.” His eyes narrowed on me. “One word, and she’s gone.”
He would run her off like a stray dog if I gave him the word. But I had words of my own to give her first.
“She doesn’t scare me anymore.” At least I hoped she didn’t.
His face softened. “You didn’t run because you’re a coward. Don’t you forget it.”
I nodded once. His fingers came away from my arm as he moved back a step.
As usual, my mother waited for the driver to open the door for her. Her legs stretched out, one after the other, as she took the driver’s hand and emerged from the car like a Hollywood starlet.
Always the grand entrance.
My mother. Extremely elegant and much too young-looking to have a daughter my age. So sure and so confident, the embodiment of what I pretended to be, but in her eyes, never lived up to. I must’ve inherited my height from my sire, as I was at least three inches taller than my mother, though my midnight black hair and two-toned blue eyes came directly from her. Where her eyes were unique, mine had only served to attract Rule’s attention.
There had been a time when I thought her classically beautiful. The evil I now knew existed within her pretty package had forever changed how I saw her. Now, I had no trouble seeing the stark angles of her face, the emptiness ruining her once-beautiful gaze, or the coldness emanating out of her very soul.
My mother’s tiny, hourglass figure, slender legs and arms, thick, wavy jet-black hair, tended to attract every male in sight, and here in the middle of nowhere Texas was no different—every male in the yard had his eyes locked on her as she moved toward me, not so much walking as much as gliding. I glanced around quickly and didn’t see one male looking at my mother with desire in his eyes. No, they looked alert and ready to strike.
If Gunner knew about my mother, every male in the yard knew as well.
My mother wore a simple, sleek white dress that hugged each of her small curves and showed off her silky mass of black hair. I must have looked like a frightened animal as I stood there motionless, staring.
Rule sent her to bring me home.
She smiled at me and, to others, it may have looked friendly, even loving, but I saw through her façade. With her every step, carefully placed with a grace I would never have, she mounted the few steps of the porch until she stood before me, shaking her head. Every graceful step in her black stilettos brought her closer and closer, until I could hardly breathe.
I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid.
I was a child in her eyes. Always and forever a child.
A disappointment. A disgrace.
Her hateful string of demeaning words rang in my head again... Disappointed. Ashamed. Dishonored.
I had one word for he
r: betrayal.
She held her arms out to me. With any other mother, it might have been an invitation to embrace, but not with my mother. She was forever distant, never showing love or affection through physical touch. She stingily gave praise with a nod of her head, or in small words. And even if I had wanted to hug her, I couldn’t move. My feet seemed glued to the weathered, wooden deck.
“What are you wearing?” A slight tilt of her head showed her obvious disappointment.
“Clothes, Mother.”
Don’t let her bait you.
“Well, go and change into something more appropriate.” She shooed me with her hand. “I’m taking you home.”
Before I had the chance to disagree, Gunner’s deep, commanding voice spoke from behind me.
“No.”
My mother’s eyes turned to ice in the next blink and zeroed in on Gunner. “Excuse me?”
“Mother—”
“No,” Gunner repeated.
I turned and looked at him. He stood calm, his hands in his pockets, as relaxed as if he were carrying on a friendly conversation with a neighbor. His gaze shifted to me for only seconds, but in those few seconds, his eyes smiled.
I looked back to my mother. She crossed her arms, sniffed the air, and rolled her cold, unforgiving eyes. “Just because you have defiled my daughter, it doesn’t give you the right to speak for her.”
“Mother.” I rubbed my suddenly throbbing temple.
“I didn’t defile your daughter.” Gunner made no effort to hide the sudden anger in his voice.
“I’m sorry, maybe you don’t understand the definition of ‘defile’.” She glared at Gunner. “I’ll put it in plain, common words I’m sure even you can understand. You fucked her.” She turned her icy glare on me. “Really, how could you?”
I wasn’t sure if her question was pointed at me or at Gunner.
Gunner growled. “I didn’t fuck her, either.”
She rolled her eyes again. I’d seen the look before; she automatically assumed a lie.
“Oh, Simone.” She lowered her voice and leaned in closer to me. “Please tell me you didn’t go into heat and let this Breeder pump you full of his seed.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “The disgrace.”
“Mother! I haven’t had sex with him. Do you seriously believe I give my body to every male I spend five seconds with? Just because you believe I’m a whoring harlot, it doesn’t make me one.”
Her eyes cooled even more as her brows arched. “You think I don’t know what you did when I allowed you the freedom to attend college? The countless human boys you spread your legs for?”
“Countless? Countless? Where in the world did you get your information? Who did you have spying on me?”
“I do take some of the blame.” She ignored my questions. “Heaven knows you had no self-control. I should have protected you. But what am I supposed to believe, when your scent practically exudes from this male’s pores?”
And it did. Because of the sakana bond. Something she obviously knew nothing about. Some little, selfish part of me wanted to let her go on believing, let her go on living Rule’s sad lies because I didn’t wish to share any little portion of my happiness—or give her a new weapon to use against me.
Gunner moved closer to me, his arm touching mine, lending me his strength. “I don’t give a flying fuck what you believe.”
“Simone.” My mother continued as if Gunner didn’t exist. “Take that ridiculous rag off and get in the car.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not with you, not with Rule, or any of his pack.”
“It’s your pack, Simone. Don’t be unreasonable.” Her hand flitted at me like she always did when she felt what I had to say was of no importance whatsoever. “It’s where you belong. Not out here with some...some backwoods cowboy.”
“No.” Gunner and I repeated at the same time.
Her face softened as she batted her eyelashes. Her voice turned sugary sweet. “Do you understand what a predicament you put me in if you do not come home? I will be punished. I refuse to believe you would allow your pack to punish your own mother.” She held her hand to her throat as if I had pierced her to her soul.
I’d seen this same hurtful expression before and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her theatrics.
“Oh stop it, Mother. Why would Rule punish you? You gave him your daughter, like a gift, and then turned me away when I asked for help. You wouldn’t even listen to my reasons why!”
“Well, I’m here now and I’m sure you feel your reasons were valid, but no one leaves our pack, Simone, no one.” She shook her head, but her innocent-phony pretense didn’t fool me for a second. “We are your family.”
“Jessy left and no one chased after her.”
“She was never part of our pack. It was a mistake to allow her in. From what I understand, she didn’t...how shall I put this delicately...she didn’t fit in. Our lifestyle did not appeal to her. It was better she left.”
“Our lifestyle? Our lifestyle! Certainly not mine. She didn’t fit in because she refused to let someone abuse her. You drugged me and let Rule take me, knowing he would tie me up, didn’t you? You knew he would brand me. Did you know he set a group of males on another female? They punished her to death right in front of me and I couldn’t help her!”
“That female allowed another male to mount her when she knew it was expressly forbidden. It’s fortunate your little indiscretions were deemed innocent and harmless or you would have suffered the same fate.”
“You knew? You knew about her?” I shouldn’t have been surprised. “Did you also know they left me tied up for three days with no water, no food, no way to even use the stupid toilet?”
She flicked her fingers at me again as if what I went through meant nothing. “I know. I know. Poor, pitiful Simone.” She mocked me not just with her gestures, but with her tone. “As for your confinement, it was merely a test. Rule loves you and once he breeds with you, if any other male touches you, he will suffer the most severe punishment as well—death.” She glanced to the side at Gunner, making her threat very clear. Her cold eyes swung back to me. “One male has already suffered this punishment because of you, Simone. How many more will you leave in your wake?”
“What?” My breath caught in my throat. “Rule...killed him?”
“Of course. That young wolf was well aware of Rule’s laws. He was punished the same as any other wolf who is allowed to stay in our territory. He had been warned.”
The wolf I’d had marathon sex with during my short stay in college.
He died.
Because of me.
“I never knew.” My stomach twisted painfully as bile rose up the back of my throat. I clapped my hand over my mouth and turned my head away as tears burned my eyes.
No! No! No!
How would I ever live with this?
“He was innocent,” I mumbled between my fingers. “He was no threat to Rule.”
I couldn’t catch my breath. Spots appeared in my eyes, as my vision seemed to tunnel into something faraway and gray.
Gunner’s heavy arm wrapped around my shoulder. He turned me in to his body and held me tight as I breathed him in. His warmth rushed through me, spread across my entire body, just as it did every time he touched me. He felt so good. I wanted to burrow into him, let him chase away the coldness that had threatened to fill me the moment my mother stepped out of the limo. Looking into his eyes, I saw acceptance there. Somehow, I knew he would never blame me for that young male’s death.
I turned to my mother. “It’s been three years, Mother. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to burden you.”
Liar.
She lied. The intonation of her voice, the way her pupils dilated, the twitch of her lips all gave her away.
My mother continued as if she hadn’t just dropped a bomb of monumental proportions on me.
“I removed you from the situation before it got out of hand. Now, go change whate
ver it is you’re wearing so we can leave. And how can you stand all this dirt and these horrendous smells?” Her gaze slid back to Gunner, not bothering to hide the disgust at seeing his arm around my shoulder. “The last thing Rule would want is to breed with a female who smells of manure.”
Truth.
“Breed? Is that all you expected me to do in my life? Breed with Rule?”
“He has offered you the highest honor a female in our pack can receive, and you will not refuse him.” The pitch in her voice strained higher as she took a step forward. “I will not allow you to bring disgrace on me.”
And...I was done. She’d proved she had little concern for me. Everything was about her.
“I refuse to be Rule’s brood mare or his mate.”
“His mate?” She laughed, high and loud. “Rule had considered mating with you, but now, with what you’ve done, the option has been withdrawn. Breeding is the only gift you’ll receive. Rule has worked long in order to breed our perfect pack.” Her eyes narrowed on me. “Our female line has survived a very long time, but you, my daughter, are trying his patience.”
“He’s breeding the perfect pack, huh?” Gunner interrupted. “Then why is he still breeding outside of his pack? From the records I’ve read, he’s sired something like thirty offspring within other packs, and that count is only since he inherited his Alpha position.”
“Each female Rule chooses to bestow his breeding honor upon is unique in some way.” Her mouth twisted into an ugly, jealous smile as she glared as Gunner. “When it serves his purpose, Rule is happy to spread his superior seed far and wide. Only one of those bastard offspring has had the honor of joining our pack.” She leaned her head to the side. “Males.” She huffed. “I’m sure you’ve bred your way around this country, spilled your seed more times than you can count, sired more offspring than you can ever remember. Now you want my daughter. You want her so badly, every wolf can smell your shameless desire, can see the lust plain on your face. I won’t allow it.”
Gunner laughed low in his throat. “Allow it? You don’t have a choice. Besides, I’ve granted sanctuary, and a tribunal is gathering.”