by Amanda LeMay
“Help me...Gun, get these off of me.” I shoved at my jeans again, then his hands were there, peeling the soft denim fabric off my hips, thighs, past my calves, and off my feet. My white cotton briefs still covered my scar. Gunner was about to get up close and personal with every one of my brands. He was going to feel them under his tongue—and sprint for the bathroom again.
“Wait.” I shoved my hands into the couch and tried to push away.
It was wasted effort.
Gunner grabbed my thighs and spread them wide, lifted my left leg over his shoulder and my right leg over his thigh as he hooked a finger into the center of my briefs and yanked them to the side. Then his mouth was on me, his tongue licking as he growled deep in his throat.
“Gun...” I lost the will to hide, and gave up everything to him.
He sucked and bit and did something unbelievably amazing with his tongue and I came apart in a blinding flash of heat that spread over my entire body.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” My body tightened and arched up from the couch, pressing Gunner’s mouth harder against my flesh. “Yes...Gun...yes.” His fingers slipped inside me, stroked in rhythm with his tongue, and I was lost.
“PLEASE, GUN...I CAN’T...please...stop.”
His mouth came away from my body. No questions asked.
I had lost track of how many times he’d brought me to orgasm.
Every muscle in my body twitched and trembled as if I’d just run a hundred miles. My breathing was about the same, panting and ragged, and Gunner had done nothing but use his mouth on me.
“You taste just like I thought you would...sweet lemon candy.”
I was so...high. So completely wrung out. So...happy, I giggled.
“What?”
Even in the darkness, I had no trouble seeing the smile on Gunner’s face.
“I...I don’t think I can move.” I brushed my damp hair back from my face, trailed my fingers over my cheeks and my neck. “Oh heavens, I’m perspiring. I’m sorry.”
“No apologies, because, yeah...I like it. Means I did you right.”
Another breathless giggle escaped as he licked the edge of my hip.
“Ticklish!” I gasped and jerked beneath him. He licked again and I burst out laughing. “Right there. Stop...I’m ticklish!” Which was funny, because no one had ever tickled me before.
A deep, rumbling growl vibrated through his body and right through my skin. “Damn, baby, you are so sweet.”
A sudden chill swept over me and with it came a memory, a horrible echo from the past.
“You are so sweet.”
“You cold, baby?” Gunner’s hands smoothed over my flesh. At some point, he had taken off my briefs and I lay there with only his oversized flannel shirt covering my arms—and nothing else.
In a panic, I searched for the sides of the shirt. I needed to cover up, hide the hideous brands Rule had burned into my flesh.
“You are so sweet.”
No! Stop!
Please, if I could only cover up, Rule would go away. Gunner wouldn’t see.
I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.
“I’m okay. I’m okay.”
Gunner’s hands wrapped around my forearms and slid down to my searching hands, stilling them.
“I’m not him. I’m not Rule. I’d fucking rip out my own heart before I ever hurt you.” His hands squeezed mine and then brought them to his mouth. “When I’m making love to you, I don’t see them. I don’t feel them. Don’t be afraid to let me love you.”
He released my hands, slid my leg from his shoulder to around his waist, and settled between my thighs, his head resting right over my rapidly beating heart. His arms wrapped around my back and held me so close.
I stroked my fingers through his hair, around his ear, and under his jaw, memorizing the full-body sensation of him against me. Everything about him calmed me, made me feel safe.
“That’s right, hold on to me. Ground yourself in me.”
“I’m okay.” No I wasn’t. Not yet. But close. “I’m okay.”
“Baby, you’re not okay.” His breath was a sweet, cool breeze over my hot, damp skin. “Your heart is racin’.”
My fingers found his pulse, just under his jaw. “So is yours.”
Gunner went still. I heard the voices outside the door the same moment he did.
A male whispered, “Are they still in there?”
Another male replied, “They were really going at it for a while there, but I don’t hear anything now. Maybe they, ya know, finally finished.”
Gunner tried to sit up and I held him as I whispered, “Stay with me.”
“Ah, shit,” someone muttered.
“They wouldn’t bother us if it wasn’t important.” His voice held a note of frustration.
Pack business.
When Gunner pulled away, I let him go.
“Ummm...Gunner, I’m sorry as hell to interrupt,” Les said through the door.
“Give us a minute,” Gunner grumbled.
He moved around and the next thing I knew, he was lifting my feet and slipping my briefs back on up over my calves, thighs, and hips.
“I had a hell of a lot more fun pulling these off.” He smiled. “And I’m gonna be pulling them off every chance I get from now on.”
“Hmmm...funny. That kind of works for me.” I returned the smile.
My jeans were next and as he worked up the zipper and then the button, I took his face in my hands and kissed him. The silky touch of his goatee against my chin and his moustache against my upper lip reminded me of how wonderful they’d felt as they rubbed the sensitive flesh between my legs. Gunner grabbed my shoulders and pulled me in closer as our tongues danced together. I moved my hands down his back to his tight ass, ground my hips into his, and sensed the tremors of a deep growl moving up his throat.
“I need you to not do that, baby.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.
I dropped my arms and stepped back. “I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “No. Don’t you dare apologize. When all of this tribunal shit is over and done with, I’m gonna lay down some new rules in this house. The first one being, when I’m making love to you, nobody had better be standing outside the damned door waiting for us to finish so I can get back to doing pack duties.” His voice rose and he aimed it toward the office doors. “I get interrupted while I’m doing my female right, somebody had better be bleedin’ or broken and if they are, Kern better have been called first. Even though I break stuff, I don’t put it back together, and I want those extra ten to fifteen minutes it’ll take for Kern to get here, fix it, and get a report ready for me.”
He turned and walked into the bathroom. The water came on and the scent of his soap filled the room as he lathered up.
The smile spreading my lips was almost painful. I pulled the two sides of the flannel shirt together and buttoned it up. I couldn’t stop grinning as each little button slipped into its corresponding slot.
He wanted to make love to me. Uninterrupted. And the gods only knew I wanted the same thing.
A hard rap came at the door and I jumped.
“What the hell?” Gunner yelled from the bathroom. “I said give us a minute!”
Tan’s deep voice came from beyond the door. “Brenin’s on his way back. Neeta’s with him.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“SIMONE, HONEY, I’M coming in.”
Derry opened the bathroom door and slipped in from my bedroom.
“Honey?” The concern in her voice was unmistakable.
I stared into my lap as I sat on the little vanity chair, a towel wrapped tightly around my freshly showered body.
“Were you trying to scrub Gunner’s scent from your skin?”
I nodded. Just over an hour before Neeta had arrived, Gunner and I had completely abandoned all sense of propriety. I hadn’t even met her and still I felt as if I had betrayed her in every way possible.
“Neeta is the last wolf you’ll ever need
to worry about.”
“She is his mate.”
“Simone, listen—”
“I didn’t mean to seduce Gunner. I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve controlled my...my...lust.”
“Honey, there’s a huge difference between lustin’ after some random, mated male and lustin’ after the male who happens to be your sakana.”
“Sakana bond or not, I had no right.” I sighed and tugged the towel over my thigh. “Why did it happen? And I still don’t know what the word even means!”
“Oh, hon, Rule has a hell of a lot to answer for.” Derry shook her head, a sad smile on her face. “The short version, sakana is an ancient word meaning ‘beloved’, but...more than that. A sakana bond means you’ve found your perfect match.”
Perfect match? Gunner was everything I’d never dreamed I wanted. I had no idea such a deep bond could exist.
“But I promised I wouldn’t kiss him again. I promised I wouldn’t let our relationship go any further, and I’ve done so much more than just break my promise.”
“No matter how hard you try to stay away, Gunner will wear you down, wear away your defenses. There’s nothing for it. It’s the bond. Gunner’s accepted it and you should, too. Not that you get much choice in the matter, but if you grew up knowing this kinda thing is out there, even if the chances you may find this bond with another wolf were slim to none, you’da accepted it whole hog, too.”
“He makes me feel free. Wild. Ready to live.”
He made me want to walk out of the shadows I’d hidden in for so long.
And that frightened me.
Derry leaned her hip against the granite counter and folded her arms, one over the other. “I haven’t come across my sakana yet, and I probably never will. It’s rare. It’s not something that happens for every wolf. There are members in this pack who have found their sakana, and I feel damn privileged to witness the love they share. It’s special, Simone, it’s a beautiful thing. I see that bond between you and Gunner.”
“Derry, he belongs to another.”
“No, he doesn’t. I told you before, being a mated Alpha pair doesn’t always mean what you think it does. Sometimes, it’s not a death-do-us-part kind of thing.”
I bit my lip as I worked to keep my tears inside, and not flowing like a pitiful river down my face.
“I’d appreciate it if you’d look at me when I’m talkin’ to you.”
Derry’s stern admonishment had me looking up.
“Just because I haven’t found my sakana doesn’t mean I haven’t loved and can’t relate to what you’re going through. You understand what I’m sayin’?”
“Yes.”
“I left a bad situation, came here to Comfort, started working down at Gunner’s market and got my life back. My bad situation was an asshole who had too much fun beatin’ on me. I miscarried my first baby. As far as I’m concerned, that male murdered my precious offspring. And believe me, wolf justice was served. Once I got free of him, I realized I didn’t need a male to take care of me, but I sure as hell wanted a little something of my own. Seff wasn’t just some accident. Seff’s dad is a Breeder. That’s all he’s ever done and all he wants to do. But he loves his offspring, every damn one of them. I told Gunner what I wanted to do and he gave me his blessing. Gave me a better job, a roof over my head, and a house full of males who depend on me. Gunner got a hold of Seff’s dad, told him what I wanted, and the pack would care for me, along with our offspring. And even though I don’t have a sakana, or a mate, I have a son I love with all my heart. When his dad comes to town, I get him, too. Seff and his dad taught me a lot about life, about love, about lovin’ how I live my life. I don’t need a male, but I do love to feel needed.
“Seff’s dad taught me something else, too. It’s perfectly all right to love what a male makes you feel when you’re enjoying the best sex in your life every single time you get together. When he walks away, what he leaves me with makes me feel damn good, sexy as hell, and not used in the slightest. I’ve got that with Seff’s dad and it works for me. It works for him. But, he’s not my sakana.”
She smiled and continued.
“What you have with Gunner is different. I can see it, feel it in the air. Everyone here can. When he locks his eyes on you, your heart does that little flip and your mouth goes dry because he’s not seeing your faults or your flaws. He’s not looking at, or thinking of, or wanting any other female but you. When his hand touches yours, your heart does that little flip again and your mouth drops open because that little touch makes your skin tingle all over and you smile ’cause you know, just by looking at him, he feels it, too. When his lips meet yours, your mouth gets wet, along with other parts of your body, and you can’t hardly breathe because he’s so close, but if either of you walks away, you’ll never be able to breathe again. So you make up your mind you’ll do anything to keep him safe and happy, even if keeping him safe and happy means you think you gotta walk away, which is just so damned silly. You may not know it, but he’s at his strongest and his happiest when you’re by his side.”
Derry grinned and tipped her head to the side.
“Now, you’ve got all that and the pleasure of enjoying the best sex in your life, feeling damn good and sexy as hell, and you’ve pretty much got the perfect mate. You don’t walk away from that, Simone. Not ever.”
“I didn’t...we didn’t...” I stuttered as I tried to explain what had happened in Gunner’s office without giving away details. “It was...he just...” A rush of heat flowed through me as I thought about where Gunner’s mouth had been and how long it had been there, and how much I loved every single second of his mouth being right there.
“Yeah, I know. That poor male’s gonna bust if he doesn’t find time to get you on your back and make love to you the way he wants to.”
“What?” I shrieked, shocked that Gunner might share something so private. “He told you that?”
“Hell no, Gunner isn’t the kind to kiss and tell.” She tapped the side of her nose. “The scent when you two came out of the office only went one way and it wasn’t spent seed.”
I covered my face with my hands and moaned. “I want to die.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do!” I shouted, on the edge of tears.
She pulled at my hands and crouched down in front of me. “Honey, I think you have some serious issues you need to get over.”
“Neeta will know. You said so yourself, there are no secrets here. I’m sure someone has told her. How am I supposed to face her?”
Derry stood and pulled me up with her. “You stick out your hand, you introduce yourself and say, ‘Hi, I’m Simone, Gunner is my sakana’.”
“Derry! I can’t say that!”
“Why not? You’d only be admitting to something she already knows. She even gave Gunner her blessing.”
I stood there with my mouth hanging open, trying to catch my breath before I fainted.
“Anyway, until everything is settled, Neeta is still the Alpha female. You need to get dressed and pay your respects. And besides, you can’t stay hidden in your room forever. You’ll miss supper and don’t think for a second you’ll just eat in here, ’cause I won’t let you. I won’t let anyone bring you nothin’, either, not even Gunner.”
She turned her back and walked out of the bathroom into the bedroom. She sat on the foot of the bed, crossing one leg over the other, watching and waiting for me to make a move.
Frustrated, I walked out of the bathroom and over to the armoire, pulled out panties and a bra. Then I moved to the closet and picked out a plain white, stretchy blouse and a pair of worn-looking jeans, two pieces of clothing that were comfortable without looking sexy. Plus, they didn’t have Gunner’s scent all over them. Yet.
“I’m never going to win an argument with you.” I’m already giving up.
“This ain’t arguin’.”
“You threatened to starve me,” I mumbled as I walked into the bathroom.
“Where did you get the idea that I threaten?” she asked with a wicked grin.
Gunner’s words of warning came back to me: “I don’t argue with Derry. She doesn’t fight fair.”
Looking at Derry from across the room as she leaned back, her hands braced on the bed, one foot kicking out a rhythm as she smiled, I now knew what he meant.
I stared into the mirror above the sink. For reasons I didn’t understand, the prospect of meeting Gunner’s mate was more frightening than standing in front of Rule and an entire tribunal. Both situations were out of my control; I was a casualty of one, and an accomplice in the other.
Derry cleared her throat. “Don’t make me come in there and drag your butt out.”
“She must hate me.” I choked out the words and grabbed the edge of the vanity. The sting of tears filled my eyes. “How could she not? She’s still his mate and the Alpha female. This situation is sure to upset her. She has every right to be angry. Her lifelong mate fell victim to an ancient call of nature and cast her aside. I never intended to come between an Alpha and his mate. I never—”
“Look at me,” Derry ordered from the bathroom door, and I did. “I don’t have time to explain all you need to know about wolf relationships, so you’re gonna have to trust me on this one—Neeta understands.” She stepped closer and wiped her thumb across my cheek. “Dry those tears. Everything is gonna work out fine.” Then, she smiled.
She turned and walked from my room, leaving me to make the long trek down the hallway on my own.
I’m okay. Trust Derry. Everything is going to work out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.” Gunner’s deep voice traveled easily from the family room.
I stood frozen in the long hallway, listening, biting my lower lip, mustering up the courage to drag myself forward.
“You can,” a soft female voice replied. “You don’t want to do this. That’s understandable.”
“It wasn’t fair to you and it’s not fair to her.”
What isn’t fair to me?
“I understood what I was signing up for. Explain it to her. She’ll step up.”