by Amanda LeMay
The darkness inside the cabin revealed only the outline of the few pieces of furniture: a large, comfortable-looking chair, a small table with two wooden chairs, and a huge, high bed against one wall. Gunner tossed me several feet, as if I weighed nothing. I landed on the bed on my belly and scrambled to get up on my hands and knees. Gunner’s hands came around my ankles and pulled me back to the edge, spread my legs, and stepped between them.
“Yes!”
His body pinned me to the bed as he growled in my ear. The growls became words as he shifted to his human form.
No! Not like this!
“You don’t know what you’re askin’.”
“Yes, I do!” I shouted in frustration as I wiggled my body beneath his. The wolf inside me howled for the wild beast, wanting that primitive part of him to sink his teeth and claws into my flesh as his cock took me from behind.
“No you don’t! You fucking don’t know!” His body pressed me deeper into the big bed, pinning me in place.
I dug my fingers into the soft quilt beneath me and bunched it up in my fists. “You said I could have you any way I want, any time I want!” I shouted like a spoiled child, but, I couldn’t stop myself. The wolf inside of me whined and whined and whined, begging to be set free. “And I need you that way!”
“Fine. You can have me that way, but not when I’m losing my shit!” His voice rose as he shouted back. He lay heavy on top of me, his chest heaving.
I worked to catch my breath. My entire body throbbed with a need I’d never experienced before. He wasn’t the only one losing it...my wolf half put up one heck of a fight, stamping out my every effort to calm down.
Stop it! When he’s calm...and I’m not acting like an idiot...I can have him...have him any way I want.
“I’m sorry.” I took a deep breath and blew it out through my mouth. I unclenched my fists and smoothed the quilt out, away from my face. “The wolf in me...I’m not used to...feeling this way...so out of control. I—” Want you inside me all the time.
And because that was exactly how I felt, I had to stifle the giggles that threatened to burst out of me. With what I had been through, running from the only home I’d known, only to find happiness I’d never dreamed I’d have. Dragged away to face a father who brutalized me and murdered countless members of his pack. Then to find myself back in Gunner’s bed? The wolf side of me wanted nothing but to shut down my logical, human side, relieve the pent-up stress I held so close inside and...just...fuck.
“I know, baby.” His forehead pressed against my shoulder. “But, damn, you gotta understand, Simone, I could’ve hurt you...hurt you worse than I already have.”
I stretched out my arms, releasing some of the tension that had me tied up in knots. I laid my head to the side, rested my cheek on the quilt, and took another breath.
“You haven’t hurt me.”
“Then what the hell is this?” His fingers appeared in front of my face. The coppery scent of my own blood hit my nose.
I swallowed hard. The tension returned to my muscles in a rush. When did that happen?
“Gun, I didn’t even feel it.”
“I know you didn’t, baby, but I clawed you. Didn’t mean to, but, damn it, all I smelled was how much you wanted me to throw you down and fuck you silly. You don’t know how much I wanted to sink my teeth into you and do just that. I can’t be near you when I’m not in control, baby. It’s just too dangerous.” He sighed as his body shuddered against mine. “I can’t be near you...I can’t give you what you want...ah, hell, Simone.”
I understood what he would never give me and even though he’d said it wasn’t a priority, now that the choice had been taken away, it broke his heart.
I ran my hands over his outstretched arms and laced my fingers through his. “Sorin told me.”
“I’m so sorry.” His head moved softly back and forth, his breath warm on the back of my neck.
“We’ll work around it.”
“There’s no working around it. The law applies to all of Rule’s offspring...no exceptions.”
“Can we not talk about this right now?”
“It’s kinda important, baby.”
Not so much. Not to me. But...I hadn’t told him that yet.
“Some things are more important than others, and right now...” I wiggled my bottom as much as his considerable weight would allow, pressing it up against his huge erection. He groaned in my ear. “Gun, nothing is more important than this. You and me,” I whispered as I lifted my head to offer him my lips.
He moved above me, took my mouth in a kiss that started soft and sweet and quickly turned deep and heated, and for a little while, nothing was more important in the world than the two of us.
I LAY ON MY SIDE, SPOONED up against Gunner’s side as he lay on his back. His bicep was a warm pillow under my head; his thick arm held me safe and close, the same way he’d held me when he’d come to my room and pulled me from my nightmare. His strong, steady heartbeat suddenly shifted into a faster rhythm, and I felt his building apprehension.
I rolled over, slid my leg over his thick thigh. Tilting my head, I found the familiar, square jaw tipped with his silver goatee. His neck and cheeks were covered with a mix of silver and brown stubble. His other arm bent behind his head as he stared up at the wood-beam ceiling.
“I found the piano,” he said quietly.
In the pale golden light of a candle he’d lit earlier, I saw a single, shiny tear slip from the corner of his eye and slide down into the silver hair just above his ear. His heartbeat stuttered as his breath hitched.
I laid my palm on his chest, over his heart. “Gun?”
“I found the piano,” he repeated, his voice deeper than usual, tighter. “I was sleeping and then, suddenly woke up scared to death. It was you. Something scared you. And then I didn’t feel you at all. I tore through the house lookin’ for you. I knew you were gone, but I had to look anyway. And there it was. Not a speck a’ dust on it.”
I sat and folded my legs up on the bed.
“Gun...”
Another tear slipped from the corner of his eye. His emotions washed over me—his deep love mingled with sorrow.
He looked away as he wiped the wetness from his face with the back of his hand. He cleared his throat then locked his eyes with mine.
“They wouldn’t let me leave the house. They thought I’d go charging into San Antonio, eyes blazin’, fangs flashin’, claws ready to rip Rule to shreds. And I sure as hell would’a. I knew you didn’t run. I knew Rule found some way to get to you. I lost it. Just fucking lost it. Got into a brawl with Hemming.” He sucked in a breath and chuckled as I smiled. “It’s been years since the last time I got into a real brawl with one of my brothers.”
I leaned in closer, wiped another stray tear away from his temple. “Why did you buy a piano that no one plays?”
“Neeta wanted our kids to learn. None of ’em wanted anything to do with it. Lessons meant time away from being outside, runnin’, ridin’. I stayed out of it, didn’t back her up, and that was wrong. I made a hell of a lot of mistakes I don’t ever wanna to repeat.”
“Well, I’m not Neeta and we already have a piano, so...” I smiled and softly touched my lips to his.
He smoothed back my hair. “I love you so much. So damn much.”
“I love you, too.” I traced my fingers over his chest, followed the lines of hard muscle, remembering how he looked out in the light of the half moon. “How did you do that? Shift into that huge wolf?”
He shook his head. His eyebrows pinched together as his eyes narrowed. “You haven’t ever seen a Breeder before?”
“No. Is that what being a Breeder means?”
He looked up to the ceiling as he ran a hand through his hair, and growled. “Fuckin’ Rule. Damn him.” He looked back to me. “What did you think I was talkin’ about when I said I was a Breeder?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t realize you meant Breeders were that different. Then you showed me t
hat amazing thing you can do with your cock and I thought that must be it. I mean, you said it was a perk, an evolutionary trait. I didn’t know it meant you could stand upright like a...like a...”
“Werewolf?”
“Yes.” Then I did laugh.
“I remember seeing a few of those werewolf movies and laughing because they were so far off. Saw one a few years ago and they must’ve had a wolf working with them because they got it pretty damn close and that right there was scary.”
My laughter subsided into giggles. “I wouldn’t know. I wasn’t allowed to watch horror movies.”
“That’s a shame. We’ll have to fix that.” His fingers tugged at my hair. “But you weren’t scared.”
“No, I wasn’t. I was...” I sucked in a breath as a new wave of heat rushed through me. “Turned on. Hot and horny.”
I watched as Gunner’s mouth curved up into a smile, then a grin, then his body shook beneath mine, and finally, he let it out and laughed long and loud, and I loved him even more.
“Gun, you make me feel things I can’t explain and whatever this is, even though I feel it growing stronger every moment, that’s the only thing that scares me.”
“Yeah, I get what you’re talking about.” His arm tightened around me. “It’s confusing as hell.” Even though he smiled, another tear slipped out and followed the path of the other ones, but this tear came from a happy place. “I do need to educate you a little more on our wolf culture. There’s so much stuff you need to learn, baby. About our world. About me.”
I shook my head and sighed. The sudden urge to shut him up, to press my lips down on his beautiful mouth and use my body as a distraction to keep him from bringing the world back in and disturbing our peace, melted away as I gazed into his bright green eyes. I wanted to know him, learn all about him. Who he had been, how he had lived, who he was now, and what his plans were for the rest of our lives together.
“I’ll try to prove a worthy student.”
A small smile touched his lips before he moved to stare at the ceiling of the cabin once again. I settled against his side just as a far-off howl called to us.
“Ah, hell. It’s time.” Gun sat up. His long legs slipped off the bed as he stood.
A sudden, shuddering breath escaped my lungs. “Yes.”
Gunner leaned his head to the side and gazed down at me. “There’s a shitload of wolf history I’m not gonna go into right now, don’t got the time, but it’s pretty damn important that you understand what being a Breeder means to our culture.” He took my hands and pulled me up from the bed. “You’re gonna see more Breeders in one room tonight than most wolves ever see in their lifetime. Whatever happens, remember, every damn one of those Breeders is there to protect you. If Blaze follows through with Rule’s challenge, I’ll do my best not to hurt him too bad, but I’ll also do everything I can to keep from getting injured. You are my mate. Even though we haven’t gone through the rite, you are mine to defend, so there’s no question about who’s gonna come out of this in the end.”
“I hope you don’t think I’m so fragile that I’ll stand in the corner and piddle in fear, like a pup.”
“No, I don’t believe that for a second.”
And he didn’t.
Another howl sounded off in the distance. I wrapped my arms around him, pressed my forehead into his chest. The tribunal would have to wait a few more minutes.
“I don’t fully understand what happened the moment we met. All I know is when I saw you, smelled you, something inside of me changed, made me stronger—gave me a reason to stop running—to stand and face my fears.” I looked up into his handsome face. “Our feelings for one another have painted a big red bullseye on your heart, and no matter what Rule may have wanted before, I made you his new target.”
His hands came up and cupped my face. “Baby—”
“I’ve learned how violent and unforgiving our world can be, but you’ve also taught me how loving and passionate it can be as well.”
A chorus of howls went up, tinged with an edge of worry. Gunner led me out the door and howled a reply.
I looked back at the stone cabin where I’d just spent the last few hours giving more than I ever thought I had and taking all that was offered in return. Derry was right. I was one damn lucky female. No matter what horrible circumstance had brought me here, this was where I was meant to be.
Gunner’s hand gripped my hip as his lips touched the curve of my neck. “Ready or not, this is it, baby.” His mouth brushed the words over my skin.
I leaned my head against his shoulder and wished with all my heart we never had to step foot outside the stone cabin and let the world in.
“If it takes my whole life, I’ll prove I’m worth all this trouble. I promise, I’ll be strong. I’ll be a good mate. I won’t be your weakness.”
Once again, Gunner laughed long and loud, and I didn’t take it as an insult. I couldn’t, not when everything I felt coming off him was beautiful and full of joy.
“Ahhh, baby, you can make all the promises you want—don’t matter. You make me so fuckin’ weak, I can’t ever walk away, and I sure as hell can’t ever let you go.” His hand came up around my neck, pulling my head up and to the side. He started at the curve at the base of my neck, his lips leaving a trail of warm kisses until they met mine, soft and tender. “So weak I wanna mark every silky inch of your body. So weak all I wanna do is spend years and years making love to you slow and easy, and fucking you hard and fast. So weak I wanna tell the tribunal to shove their law up their asses and give you what you want because I know I can.” His hand tightened on my jaw as his mouth moved to whisper in my ear. “That last part, I won’t do, because the tribunal would have the right to punish us and I’d rip out my own heart before I’d put you in danger.”
“Oh, Gun.” My heart felt as if it might burst.
“And you know what?” His lips were back on mine, his tongue teasing as it slipped in and out of my mouth. “This weakness you make me feel makes me the strongest fucking wolf on the planet.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
THE ODORS OF MANURE, urine, hay, and animals combined with the thick, distinct aroma coming off each wolf who stood in the big barn. When I had originally come to testify, the bouquet had been overwhelming. Now, I found the heavy, familiar scents I’d become accustomed to over the past few days...comforting.
When I focused, I could pick out the scent of each Alpha. Without using any of my other senses, I knew exactly where they stood in relation to me. Only a few days before, catching the scent of a rabbit had been nearly impossible. But meeting Gunner had changed all that for me. My natural instincts—the parts of my wolf side I’d spent my entire life suppressing, controlling, and crushing to the point where I was more human than animal—would be repressed no longer.
And I was so completely fine with that.
I sighed, and focused within. The small amount of fear I’d chained around my heart drifted away into the wooden rafters. Strange that I had lived bound to my fear for my entire life and now, looking into the eyes of the male who sired me and the female who raised me, I knew I was free of them. My fear seemed like a tangible wave in the heavy air, floating up toward the high, square windows lining the barn.
Large globe lights, dark and unlit during the morning hours, hung brightly from long cords down the center and each side of the barn, leaving no shadowed, hidden spaces. Every Alpha in the barn stood witness in his wolf form, with the exception of Gunner and Ralph, who stood naked, and ready to shift.
Growing up under Rule’s strict laws, I had never seen another packmate unclothed, much less in his or her wolf form. Before I ran, the only other males I’d seen without clothing were the few humans I’d had sex with, and the one wolf Rule had put to death. All of them had been healthy, fit males, though nowhere near as large as any male in Gunner’s pack. Still, seeing Rule and my brothers stripped bare and unguarded, the differences were plain.
I studied my former packmat
es—my mother, and my two brothers, whom I didn’t even know by name, only by sight. Their bone structure, their dark blue eyes, black hair, and pale, almost translucent complexion spoke of years of inbreeding, and each female had passed those same genetic traits down from their Alpha male. Though Rule’s pale skin was flawless, the shiny, pink brands his pack members wore so proudly spoke of their misplaced loyalty and blind obedience.
Besides their brands, there were other glaring differences between Rule’s pack and Gunner’s pack. Rule’s offspring were thin, with wiry muscles stretched across reedy bones, and none stood taller than six feet, with the exception of Rule, who stood only a few inches taller. Their pale skin didn’t hold the healthy glow of days spent in the sun. Instead of the thick pectorals and biceps, or the deep indentations of muscled abs, they appeared anemic, with sharp bones protruding from their hips. If I took the time, I could easily count their ribs. In the few days I’d been at Gunner’s ranch, I’d seen more than a few naked males, each one covered in a healthy amount of perfectly defined muscle.
Though I’d seen my mother stripped bare at the hotel, the red stripes across her back and thighs were all I’d really focused on at the time. She was much thinner than I’d imagined—almost gaunt—and without her shield of clothing to hide behind, her gracefulness and beauty had all but disappeared. The bright lights overhead highlighted the perspiration across her forehead, upper lip, and chin. Her shoulders and chest rose and fell with her rapid breaths. Her fingers twitched at her sides and her gaze darted around the barn as if she expected every member of the tribunal to attack, any second.
But one wolf was missing.
Where is Blaze?
I glanced at Neeta. She stood close to Gunner, with Hemming and Neeru, at her other side. With the high level of emotion running through the big barn, it was difficult to make out Neeta’s feelings, but the sharp arch of her white wolf eyebrows over wide, gray eyes gave a hint to the worry she felt inside. No one had heard from Seff, Dain, or Jessy, and because I couldn’t bear to think the worst, I held on to the belief that they were okay. If Blaze were seriously injured or dead, either Seff, Dain, or Jessy would’ve made contact to let us know.