by Amanda LeMay
“He’s right. He can’t help that.” Derry nodded toward Gunner’s groin. “Fightin’ gets their blood goin’.
I shook my head. “Gets my blood going, too,” I murmured under my breath, trying not to think about how much my body ached to straddle him. Which was ridiculous and somewhat horrifying. We were only a few feet away from a male who’d had his throat ripped apart, and the male I loved with all my heart happened to be lying in the dirt, bleeding to death.
From outside, I heard the rumbling engine speeding toward the us, along with shouts that Kern was here. Finally. Gravel sprayed against the side of the barn as a truck stopped outside. Then, multiple booted feet ran into the barn. The familiar scents of Kern, Seff, Jessy, and Dain poured in with them. Neeta stood and ran toward the door as Blaze’s scent, and the smell of his blood mixed with something acidic, followed. Kern crouched down next to Maygan, kissed her quick, and looked over Gunner’s wounds.
“Where ya been?” Gunner groaned.
Kern rummaged through the case sitting between him and Maygan. “Patching up Blaze.” He pulled a small package out, peeled the ends apart to reveal a curved needle with surgical thread attached, and handed it over to Maygan. “Don’t worry, Neeta’s with him. He’s doing fine. Rule’s boys must’ve been in a hurry. The physical damage they did will heal up quick. The mental shit, that might take longer.” Kern snapped on sterile gloves and pulled the curved needle from its package. “Blaze said they were supposed to kill him. I think they were hoping to hide him away, go back for seconds once the tribunal was over and done with.” Kern’s voice was steady, but when he looked at me, I saw the concern on his face. “See this?” He pointed to the weeping gash in Gunner’s neck. “Keep pressure there until I finish sewing him up here. Okay?”
I nodded. Maygan held out another gauze compress. I took it and pressed it against Gunner’s throat. He flinched, but didn’t move.
“Sorry.”
“There you go, apologizing for shit again.” Gunner smiled, though there was no mistaking the pain in his eyes.
The gauze became soaked immediately and Maygan was there to hand me a fresh one.
Why wasn’t he healing? Why wasn’t his bleeding slowing down?
Kern leaned close over Gunner’s chest, his hands steady as the needle slipped easily through Gunner’s flesh.
“Holy hell.” Gunner growled through clenched teeth.
With a flick of his wrist, Kern tied off a knot and slipped the needle in again. “I’m sewing as fast as I can.”
My empty hand found Gunner’s and held tight.
“Gun, please.”
His eyes locked on to mine and even though he didn’t say it, I knew he felt out of control and worried for me. Tears pooled in his eyes, but I was sure it wasn’t from the physical pain he was going through. No, what made his heart ache now was regret. I felt it as surely as if it were my own. He turned his face from me and rapidly blinked away his tears.
“This cannot be happenin’,” he muttered.
“Simone.” Maygan nodded to the compress I had pressed against Gunner’s neck.
I tossed it to the side and took the new one Maygan held out to me. Kern sewed fast. He didn’t have a choice, with Gunner trying to lean up to catch a glimpse, and pulling at the stitches Kern had already applied. I tried not to gasp each time a new, little stream of blood seeped out. The look on Gunner’s face told me I wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding my emotions.
Kern tied off the last knot, took the scissors Maygan had ready for him, and snipped the thread.
“That one’s done. It’s leaking a bit, but it should hold. You’re gonna have to lie still while I stitch up your neck,” Kern said as he turned to Maygan. “Hand me that new needle.”
Maygan ripped open the package and held it out to Kern. Kern’s eyes flashed up to me just before he leaned in, close to Gunner’s wound.
“Try not to move. This one is gonna hurt a hell of a lot more.”
The needle slipped in and out the other side quickly and as Kern reached to grasp it again and pull it through, Gunner shouted.
“Sonofabitch!” His free hand came up and swatted Kern’s hand away. “Dammit!” The needle dangled from the side of Gunner’s palm and suddenly his entire body began to tremble uncontrollably. He groaned and clenched his jaw.
“Kern, can’t you at least numb the area?” I begged.
“Maygan, take her out of here.” Gunner groaned.
“No!” There was no way I’d leave his side. I leaned over his face. His eyes were tight with pain. “You wouldn’t step out when I wanted you to, so don’t think for one second you can tell me what to do. I will not leave.”
“It would be best if you’d let me shoot you up.” Kern leaned back on his knees, looking from me to Gunner. “You won’t be out that long, since you burn it off so quick. Just long enough for me to do a good job on everything else.”
Gunner began to shake his head, but stopped.
“Gun, please.” I sucked in a breath to hold back my tears. “Please let Kern give you something for the pain.”
I wouldn’t allow him to lie there and bleed to death if Kern could help him. The look of resignation in his eyes told me he was giving in. For me. I looked up at Kern and nodded. He took a syringe from Maygan’s ready hand and injected the contents into Gunner’s upper arm.
“It’ll take a few minutes, then I gotta work fast.” Kern held my gaze for a moment and I understood. We were running out of time.
“Baby, I never wanted you to see me, ya know...”
I gazed down at my sakana. “I know.” I blinked and two hot tears streamed down my face.
“I’m sorry I can’t give you everything you want.”
“Gun—”
“I’m sorry you had to go through hell.”
“Gun, stop,” I whispered.
“You think I see ’em. You think that’s all I see, but I don’t,” Gunner mumbled, his voice growing thick as his eyes became too heavy to keep open. “I don’t.”
“Gunner, please.” I touched his cheek.
“I’ll fix ’em. Make ’em all better. Make ’em disappear.” His words slurred.
“Shhhh, Gun, relax. Close your eyes. Stop fighting.”
“You promised...you promised...”
“I promised.” I wouldn’t leave him. Ever. But I was afraid he would leave me. And then the tears came and I couldn’t stop them. I leaned down over his beautiful face and as my tears dripped onto his cheeks, I touched my lips to his.
He mumbled into my mouth, “My sakana. My everything.”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
IT HAD BEEN A LONG night. I’d dozed on and off in between Kern’s frequent visits to inspect Gunner’s wounds and give him a few shots to help him sleep. When Gunner did stir, I was right there to hold him steady.
Before the sun hit the horizon, a rooster crowed and the quiet house rose and filled with soft, passionate voices and rhythmic thumping.
This was normal. Natural.
And I was now a part of the real wolf world. I didn’t understand why nature had chosen to pair me with Gunner. I wasn’t the smartest, though I had the capacity and the desire to learn, and I wasn’t the strongest, though I certainly could work on that, too. Reproduction was out of the question so...the only thing left to us was...happiness.
Tracing Gunner’s lips with my finger, I sighed, closed my eyes, and listened to the other couples in the house making love, wishing I could wake Gunner and add our voices to the choir.
Soon, the voices moved through the house. The delicious scent of food floated down the long hall and into our bedroom. Derry was going all out—eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, biscuits, and gravy. The scent of fresh oranges mixed with the strong aroma of coffee made my mouth water.
Voices drifted in from outside. Cattle and horses needed feeding. The ranch work went on as if it were just another day.
Denny, Sky, and Tan had buried the bodies, without ceremony, still l
ocked in the form they’d died in, far away from the house, in a remote part of the ranch. Blaze and Neeta would oversee Rule’s company, dissolve it, and make sure every member of Rule’s pack would have a new home.
My mother’s tears dried up the second Rule died. While the males carried Gunner into the house, my mother had stopped me. Someone had retrieved her dress from the car they’d arrived in. She’d pulled it on and combed her hair. There was a strange excitement in her two-toned blue eyes and her smile spread much too far across her face.
“I’m free. Finally, I’m free.”
Strange. Not “we’re free”, but “I’m free”, as if she were the only one held captive by Rule. I’d said nothing and stepped past her to follow those carrying Gunner into the house. Where my mother went, or what she did afterward didn’t matter. She wasn’t brought up in conversation later, and I didn’t care.
I pulled the sheet back to inspect Gunner’s wounds for myself, as I had done numerous times during the early morning hours. His flesh had healed together nicely, leaving only a tiny, white line between the many, many stitches Kern insisted on leaving in place. It was amazing how sharp a Breeder’s claws were, and how fortunate they sliced clean like a razor, instead of jagged and rough. Kern claimed that even though there was a lot of blood, nothing major had been severed.
The mouthwatering smell of breakfast hit me straight in the stomach. I heard footsteps come down the hall and climb the few steps outside of the bedroom door. A light tapping came before it opened.
“Brought you something to eat,” Derry said quietly as she came through the doorway with a large tray and set it down on the ottoman between the two leather chairs.
Gunner sucked in a deep breath. “Damn, Derry, that smells great,” he mumbled from next to me.
“You doin’ good?”
“Yeah, just a little sore, and damned hungry.”
“I bet. Takes a hell of a lot out of you to heal up like you do.” Derry looked at me. “We’re all heading out, giving you and Gunner some time alone. A few of the boys are staying out in the bunkhouse so they can keep the ranch running, but no one’s gonna step foot here in the house. There’s more than enough food to tide you both over for a couple of days.” She turned and moved to the door. “Oh, and Kern said you can take the stitches out tonight, but not before. He also said if you feel up to having sex, Gunner, you let Simone do all the work and you just lie there and enjoy it.”
“I think I can do that.” Gunner smiled.
“See that you do. Also, it’s the fourth, so we’ll all be in town, celebrating and watching the fireworks. You need somethin’, you call.”
“Don’t worry, Derry, we’ll be fine.” His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. “Now get.”
I heard the click of the door as he pulled me down to him. His hand slipped into my hair as his mouth opened beneath mine. His tongue plunged inside and he kissed me like he hadn’t kissed me in days, all passion and desire, demanding and consuming. Fire burst hot and deep between my legs, and spread throughout my body. His lips left mine and traveled across my jaw to my neck.
“Love you so much, Simone, love you so much.”
His teeth bit down on my mark, sinking in deep. I cried out as my body exploded in a sudden orgasm. I shuddered as it traveled through every nerve, leaving the surface of my skin tingling. He rolled us until he was on top, the ends of his stitches scratchy against my skin.
“Gun!” I giggled breathlessly. “I’m...supposed to...do the...work. You’re going to pull your stitches.”
“You can do the work in a minute.”
His lips touched mine softly. I tasted my blood. I gazed up into his beautiful eyes that now held a hint of sadness.
“What? Is something wrong?” I ran my hands down up and down his sides. “Are you okay? Is something hurting?”
“I never meant to scare you.”
“I know.” I sighed, relieved he was only taking a moment to apologize. “You were bleeding so badly. I felt so helpless.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. Never wanted you to see any of that. Didn’t want to kill him with you watching.”
“I know that, too, and that little hesitation almost took you from me.”
His green gaze didn’t leave mine. “You’re bleeding too, baby.”
Though I couldn’t reach my neck, I knew I’d already healed from his bite. “No, I’m not.”
His face grew sad. “Yeah, you are. Since the day we met, I’ve been watching you bleed to death...inside.”
A sudden twinge of pain twisted at my heart. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not.”
The pain twisted again. “Gun, please, I’m okay.”
I looked away, out the wall of windows to the trees, to the sky. I couldn’t feel this now. Not now. I wasn’t ready to let my pain out. I thought I had. Thought I’d released every bit of it into Gunner’s loving care, but there was something in there I’d held on to, without really knowing I did.
“Baby, look at me.” His warm palm touched my cheek as his fingers slipped into my hair and pulled my gaze back to his. “You are so fucking far from okay you can’t even see it anymore, but all that hurt is gonna come up and bite you right in your sweet little ass, and all the love I have to give you isn’t gonna help one damn bit if you keep shoving the pain down. Your mother laid her only baby girl in the hands of a crazy-ass psycho wolf who took pleasure in burning your body and making you scream. Then he forced you to witness a pack of males murder another living being. Even if you had your eyes closed, you were still there, hearing her scream and beg and breathing her last breath.”
“Gun, please—”
“No matter how much you deny it, it’s gonna hurt.”
“Please—”
Stop.
“It’s gonna make you angry.”
“Gun—”
Stop. Stop. Stop. I’m not ready.
“I don’t know when it’ll poke its ugly head out, but it’s gonna rip your sweet, tender, loving heart out when it does.”
“He almost killed you,” I whispered.
“And you’re okay with that?”
“No!” I sobbed. “I’m not okay with that! I’m not okay. I’m not.”
His arms slid beneath me and held me tight as I burrowed my face into his chest and cried.
“I’m here, baby, I’m here.” His deep voice rumbled in my ear.
“Neeta...Sorin...how did they survive? How did they find the strength to go on living? Seeing you lying on the barn floor, bleeding, I never felt so helpless in my entire life, like it was my blood bleeding out, staining the ground. You are my every breath, my every heartbeat, my everything. I love you, Gunner, I love you so much it hurts.”
“I know, baby, I know.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
AT THE FIRST POPPING sound, I jerked awake and sat straight up in the bed.
“Fireworks, baby,” Gunner mumbled as his hand cupped my exposed breast, his fingers lightly brushing my nipple. “You been sleeping all day.”
The warm sensation of his hand on me traveled straight to my sex, clenching it tight. “You should have been sleeping, too.”
“I did. Woke up about thirty minutes ago. Been laying here, looking at you. Waitin’ for you to wake up and ride me again.”
I wasn’t surprised to find I was just as ready to ride him again, too. I threw the sheet off and moved to straddle his erection. “I already rode you three times this morning,” I teased as I centered the head of his cock and slowly slid down his length, moaning at how good he felt inside me.
His eyes rolled back as his breath left him in a whoosh. “Oh yeah, you want me.” His hands grasped my hips. “And now you can ride me three more times.”
His hands urged me to go faster, but I fought the compulsion, moving slowly and deliberately, sliding up and almost off, then back down his length until he filled me again completely.
I leaned forward and braced my hands on the headboard. �
��Yes. I want you all the time.” Each slow, gliding stroke added more fuel to the fire burning throughout my body.
“Holy hell, baby.” He groaned, but I knew it wasn’t from pain. “Give me your breasts.”
I leaned in a little farther. His hands cupped both my breasts. His tongue lapped slow, teasing circles around one breast, then the other, before he sucked one nipple deeply into his hot mouth. His cock grew harder inside me, but I didn’t change my speed.
I was at the edge. Almost...there.
One, maybe two more strokes and I would fly apart. I slipped my fingers through his hair and held him to me. Gunner sucked harder, deeper. He wrapped an arm around my back and slammed his body up into mine. The sharp points of his extended fangs pierced my flesh. Electricity shot throughout my body in a heated wave. I came so hard, the shockwaves lasting so long, every nerve seemed to explode and take my breath away.
Gunner licked large circles around my breast. His hands held my hips in a bruising grip as he slammed into me over and over, his deep thrusts rough, wild, and demanding.
“Gun...your stitches...let me...let me...”
He rolled us on the bed, pinning me beneath him. My knees locked over his elbows as his hips swung freely, slamming his long, thick erection inside me, again and again with renewed purpose.
“Tell me how you want me, baby.” He growled.
“Just like this.” I pulled his head down as I lifted to meet his mouth. “Forever.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, frantically as my next orgasm built with amazing speed. “Come with me.” I arched my back, tilted my hips so each time Gunner slammed into me, his cock grazed my clit, sharpening my orgasm. “Come with me now.”
The thick veins in his neck pulsed and throbbed as he grunted, “Holy...” He clenched his jaw, his fangs pressing deeply into his bottom lip as he growled. “Love...you...so...much.”
And with the Fourth of July fireworks booming outside, our mutual orgasms exploded simultaneously like rockets, leaving us breathless and shuddering in each other’s arms. We lay there catching our breath, Gunner’s weight on me a comfort I never dreamed I would know.