“Okay. Where is she today?” asks Caitlyn, abruptly. She doesn’t like a cheater; she’s made that very clear.
“Right now? I don’t know. She’s got a final dress fitting with the girls this afternoon.”
“Does she have snap?” Both Chad and I look at Caitlyn as if she’s just walked out of the middle ages. “Okay, so she has snap, you know you can find her location on it, right?”
Chad pulls his phone out of his back pocket.
“Give me your phone,” I say. “I’ll look if you like.” He hands it over. Poor guy really doesn’t want to know.
I tap on her name and search her location.
Ah. Fuck.
She’s with Jonny. It doesn’t mean that they’re sleeping together, I’ve hung out with Becky and Claire in the past and I’ve not fucked either of them. But Caitlyn sensed it, and this only confirms what she thought.
“Where is she?” he asks. I look over at Caitlyn and she just knows. Shit. I don’t want to tell him, but a part of me is so mad at Becky and Jonny right now. Especially Becky. Cheating with a guy who we all know will dump her when he gets bored with her. He was even coming onto Caitlyn the other day at the party.
“We’ll go with you,” I say. This is a terrible idea, but it has to come out, right? Before they get married, and it becomes a million times more complicated.
“We?” says Caitlyn, her eyebrows lifting in interrogation. “I have work to do.” Yes, we. I can’t do this alone, I’m about to explode my whole friends group.
“I would very much like it if you would come too.” I need you, you’re my person.
We take my car and Chad and his crew follow behind. Jonny doesn’t live far. He too is a product of billionaire’s row. His official profession is Competitive Sailor, but what that meant was apart from winning a couple of important races a few years back he basically spends most of his life fucking hot strangers on his boat.
“You’re so calm,” says Caitlyn, as she blots her face with a pink and beige ball.
If you only knew just how angry I am right now. “Why wouldn’t I be calm? She’s not my girlfriend. What are you doing?”
“Well, if I’m going to be on camera I don’t want to look like I only got four hours sleep last night.” She winks at me and rubs her hand up my thigh. “I meant that you don’t seem fazed by the fact that one of your friends is sleeping with the other friend’s fiancé and that that friend admitted to cheating on her. It’s okay to be freaking out right about now.” I’m normally so bad at hiding my emotions. I’m wound up like a fucking spring right now.
“Chad and Becky have a complicated relationship. I was with her before Chad, remember? She was supposed to be my prom date. Stood me up. There was a huge fuss and they kind of felt they had to make a go of it.” It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be with me, it was the way they did it.
“Prom? No way.” Caitlyn snaps her head round and smudges her lipstick. “I still think it’s weird that Becky is making her way through the gang.”
“No. Becky and I were kids, we didn’t even sleep together and this whole thing happening today is just a product of two people who were on a rocky patch and got engaged instead of splitting up.”
“For someone who claims to have never been in one, you know a lot about relationships.” I know fuck all, but I’ve seen this a million times.
“I haven’t spent the last twenty-eight years with my eyes closed. Look, I wouldn’t hold it against Becky. You’ve seen what our parents are like when it comes to dating. She’s got slim pickings if she wants to date someone with the same lifestyle as her. We’re not like everybody else.” We’re a whole different species at times.
Caitlyn leans forward, right up close to the mirror, scrunches up her nose and draws a line along her eyebrow. “I guess you’re right. So how many people have you slept with?”
“What?” I choke on the word and cough it out. Why does she need to know that?
“I need to know if I’m getting involved with a Chad or a Jonny and your good looks and hot body are just blinding me from the truth.”
“I’m not like them.” Trust me.
“Well, then you won’t mind telling me. I’ll go first if you like, seven. Three long-term relationships and some teen romances.”
“Seven?” Only seven? I’m fucked. Too fucked. Over-fucked?
“Yeah. Is that a lot?” Nope. “Go on then tell me.”
“Forty-ish?” I haven’t actually counted. I’m well-traveled as Ted puts it. Caitlyn doesn’t reply, she just stares at me, her tiny brush waving in the air. “No more than fifty,” I add trying is some way to reassure her
She swallows loudly and looks down. “Protected?”
“Oh yeah, god yeah, never without protection. Wow. No. It’s all good down there.” She tips her head to one side, looked out of the window, avoiding me. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m wondering if I’m a notch on a bedpost.” I guess I deserve that. I’m hardly looking good right now.
I place a hand on her thigh. “I can promise you, you’re not.”
Caitlyn isn’t a fling. She’s someone I want to get to know, to invest in. I haven’t disrespected or used women in my past; I’ve just not stayed around long enough to make a connection. This is different.
We draw up in the harbor car park, get out and walk over to Chad’s car.
“Are you sure you want to know this?” Caitlyn asks Chad, one last time. “Sometimes you find things out about your partner that you’d rather not have known.”
Ouch. I’ll be needing some cream for that burn.
This isn’t how I want to spend the day with my girlfriend. It hasn’t had an auspicious start and is steadily going downhill.
Jonny’s boat is moored at Hampton bays, amongst the million other yachts that rich people buy and never use.
Chad pales. “Isn’t this … is she with Jonny?” He chokes on the name.
“You wanted to know,” I say. My heart breaks for him. He obviously wants to know the truth, but who the hell wants to know you’ve been banging someone who’s been banging Jonny. My skin crawls just thinking about it.
It’s only ten-thirty, but the sun is already blazing down. This has to be the hottest month of June in years. Hampton Bays is beautiful, the sea, the shiny white yachts clanking as they bob on the water. I’d have preferred to bring Caitlyn here in better circumstances.
Ted’s car rips into the car park and parks up next to mine. He jumps out, walks around the car, helps a very sweaty looking Claire to heave herself out of her seat and joins us.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” I ask. That guy is always at work.
“Early paternity leave. My wife needs me to dress her and rub her feet.” He smiles at her, seeking some form of gratitude, but she’s leaning against the car, waving a homemade paper fan under her armpits. Pregnancy does not look fun.
“What are you doing here?”
“Someone messaged us.” I look over to Caitlyn who shakes her head. “Said they needed moral support.”
“I thought everybody in the situation might need someone.” Chad’s texted Claire so she’ll be here for Becky. What the hell is going on?
Jen drives into the car park and parks next to Ted.
“What the hell? Who called my sister?” It’s not bad enough that we’re participating in Chad, Jonny and Becky’s shitshow, now they had an audience too? I keep my mouth shut. This is their mess, I guess.
“Anybody want to tell us why we’re here?” asks Ted.
Chad shakes his head. Fine. He’s invited the whole damned gang, but I’m the one who has to explain why.
“We think Becky is having an affair with Jonny.”
Jen and Claire pale, lips pinched. They know. Of course they do. Women talk about these things. I see my friends a couple of times a week and had no idea one was lying to the other one’s face.
Caitlyn steps over towards me, her fingers play with mine, not quite holding my h
and. My heart does a leap. “I should do it; I should go in there and tell them everybody is outside. Becky doesn’t care for me and Jonny hardly knows me. I’m of no significance to them.” This again.
“But you could be.” She tips her head to one side. “I’ve never brought a girlfriend into the group, but if I did, I wouldn’t want everybody to hate her. It has to be Chad.”
“Okay, we need to put a pin in the girlfriend thing, because I adore you for saying that–despite the fact that I am super mad with you at the moment, for several reasons–but Chad is clearly not going to be the one to go in there. There are things you can’t unsee.” Her grip on my hand tightens. I lift her face to mine and kiss her. Fuck it if my friends see. I like having someone by my side. I don’t care what they think.
“Okay. Chad, I’m going in.” I start walking towards Jonny’s boat before Chad can stop me. The cameraman follows me, but I turn and leer into the camera. “Fuck off.”
I can hear Chad arguing behind me, the others holding him back. I just keep walking.
I hate boats. Rich people are supposed to love them, but the minute I get on one I start throwing up. The ferry from Marseille to Tunis was a killer, twenty-two hours on a boat. I nearly died.
I step onto Jonny’s boat. My stomach flips. I can’t tell if it’s the boat or the fact that I’m about to interrupt my friends’ coital acrobatics. “Hello? Anybody home?”
No reply. I knock and open the door. Please let them be playing monopoly or chatting about how much Becky loves Chad.
Because karma hates me, they’re naked wrestling. Loudly. The bedroom door is half-shut, and that isn’t the sound of two innocent people doing a crossword.
“Guys. It’s Hank.” Fumbling and stumbling noises replace the ecstatic moans. I take a deep breath. I do not want to do this.
Jonny opens the door, naked as the day he was born, everything standing to attention. “Not now, Hank, I’m busy.”
“Chad’s outside, he wants to see Becky. And he probably wants to punch your face in.”
Jonny steps back, looks over his shoulder then back at me. He lifts his hand to his face, covering his eyes. “What?”
Becky lets out a scream. Not an I’ve seen a ghost scream, more like the low howl of an injured wolf. She knows she is fucked. And I don’t mean literally. Although.
“You probably want to get dressed, everybody’s outside.”
“Everybody?” he asks.
“Yeah, uh, the whole gang’s here and a camera crew.”
Jonny slams the door in my face. I can hear them muttering, their voices too low to understand. The only way off this boat is the deck or the deep blue sea. I know what I would choose, faced with my best friend or fiancé’s wrath. But then I can swim.
I step out onto the deck and heave. It’s definitely the boat this time. Everybody is just standing there, waiting. Chad has his arms crossed, his face blank.
“Well?”
I shake my head. “Sorry, man.”
“Okay.” He turns to my sister. “It’s over.” She walks over to him, grabs hold of his hand. Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me. This isn’t going to help persuade Caitlyn that we’re not constantly swapping partners.
“What the hell is going on?” He needs to get his hands away from my sister.
“Remember when I said I may have had an affair. We, uh …” he stutters when he sees my face, “… we may not have been entirely honest either.” I am so disappointed in Jen right now, and a little disgusted.
Jonny and Becky walk out onto the deck. Hand in hand.
“Guys, we have something to announce,” says Jonny.
“Jonny and I are in love.” Becky looks into his eyes. I can see it now. I can see why Caitlyn knew.
Talking of Caitlyn, she looks as if her eyes are about to pop out of her head. It must all look pretty incestuous from her point of view. The bizarre world of billionaire’s kids.
The cameraman pans the group to catch our reactions. Chad’s producer isn’t even trying to hide the grin on his face. This is TV gold.
The two couples size each other up.
“Jen.” says Becky, “You’re sleeping with Chad?”
“No. No.” She shakes her head, blushing, but Chad nods furiously. He has no more fucks to give, except to my sister apparently. “Well, yeah. When you told me about Jonny that you’d kissed him, my feelings for Chad began to change.”
I heave again and I’m not even on the boat anymore. I don’t want to know anything about my sister’s love life.
“I think you guys need to all sit down and talk about this, get everything out in the open,” I suggest. I’m not going to stand around the harbor all day because these idiots can’t keep it in their pants. Caitlyn and I have work to do.
Ted and Claire walk back to the car with us.
“I was expecting a showdown, fireworks, shouting. I feel a bit let down now,” says Caitlyn.
“Yeah it was a bit anti-climactic,” replies Claire. “We’ll have to watch the show to see if it got more heated after we left, and then there’s the personal diary bits where they talk about what happened, we’ll learn more then.”
“You could just ask them,” says Caitlyn. “Seeing as they’re your friends.”
“Oh, we can’t. They get gag orders, so they don’t spill until you see it on screen.” The things I’ve learned watching Chad’s show. Drunken nights where my memory had been a bit fuzzy had come back loud and clear on the screen.
“Even to you guys?”
“Even to us,” I reply, smiling at her.
“That’s weird, right? You get that that’s weird.” She has a good point, but nothing in our lives has ever been straightforward and normal.
“Honestly,” I reply. “That isn’t the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.”
We get back into the car and Caitlyn puts a hand on my arm and looks straight at me. “You know, you can talk to me about stuff, you don’t have to bottle it up. It’s not like I don’t share everything with you.” She does. The woman never stops talking. “It works both ways.”
“My Dad cheats on my mom. I found out when I was sixteen when I walked in on him and his mistress. I am forced to respect him because that’s how my family works, but I hate him for how he treats her.” My voice is choked, but I’ve cried enough tears for my mom over the years. “I hate him for it and I hate cheaters.”
Caitlyn’s hand moves up to the back of my head, plays with my hair. It soothes me. “I’m sorry. For your mom. That sucks. And for you.”
“You’ve never done anything to make me doubt you, but you should know that I hate dishonesty. I won’t stand for it.” She balks a little. My voice is raised, I can feel her tensing up beside me. Deep breath. Caitlyn hasn’t done anything wrong.
“Okay,” she replies, quietly. “Noted.”
She bows her head. Maybe I came on too strong. “Let’s get back to work. I’ll order in some food and you can show me the photos from this weekend.” I flash my nicest smile at her. It’s a little early in the relationship to be getting so angsty. I grab her hand, kiss it. “And then maybe we can take a little nap, it’s been a long morning and we’re both real tired.”
Chapter Eighteen
Caitlyn
A week and a half I’ve been here. Only eleven or so days and in that time I’ve witnessed a summer’s worth of drama amongst the inhabitants of this strange, exotic island. It’s like a never-ending soap opera. Chad, Becky and Jonny’s news rocked the community for about five minutes and then everybody had decided that the wedding, having already been paid for, was still to be held. Jonny’s parents would foot the bill instead of Chad’s and that we would never speak of this again.
And nobody thinks that this is strange.
As for Jen and Chad, they haven’t been seen since. One hopes that the cameras aren’t allowed into the bedroom too. Although at this point nothing would surprise me.
I might have done some online digging and found some clips of t
wenty-two-year-old Hank in season one. Gave me quite a few Cowboy flashbacks. Those were clearly wild times.
Hank has kept up his side of the bargain, watching the office in the morning and working on his house, discretely in the afternoon.
Thus today as I chomp into a tuna sandwich and sip on my tea he is already working on laying his flooring. I stare out of the window at the rolling ocean, reflecting on the complexities of life and a fleet of black cars with tinted windows draw up in front of the building. Crap.
I grab my phone. “Hank.”
“Yes.”
“I think your dad’s here.”
“Fuck.” The sound of clanging tools resonates down the phone. “I’ll be there in five minutes, tell him I’m at lunch.”
“Enrico?” Mr. Baresi is considerably shorter than his sons and portly in stature. He’s also as bald as a coot except for five carefully greased strands of hair pulled from left to right over his head. Now I see why Matt was so stressed when he’d thought he was going bald.
He strides into the office, followed by a mean-looking security detail and several other people.
“Mr. Baresi.” I gulp, we have never been formally introduced and I would have preferred it to stay that way. “What a lovely surprise, how can I help you?”
“Is he here?”
Shit. “He’s out at the moment; lunch.”
“Good. Take a seat.” I half expect some kind of interrogation, a bright light, a case full of finger removal tools.
He sits at my desk and I grab a chair, sit opposite him. He is definitely the bad cop of the parents. “I’ve been hearing rumors.”
“Rumors?” I can feel myself blushing. I’m English, that’s what we do best.
“That Hank is working on the renovation when he should be here. And that the two of you are in a relationship.”
“What? No.” My brain has yet to engage. His beady little eyes bore into mine. He is, as many have already described him to be, a rather terrifying old man.
The Billionaire & the Princess Page 11