by Robin Roseau
“Life is about more than money.”
“Right.”
“And I have several things going for me few of my friends have.”
“Name them,” Mom said, although she knew the list. I think she just wanted me to admit it.
“You and Dad,” I said. “Aunt Jackie and Phoebe. Most of my friends can’t wait to get away from their parents. And then, of course, there’s being a witch.” I grinned. “Even if I’m not a very powerful witch.”
Mom smiled. “There are parts of growing up that are difficult to do while living with your parents.”
“Are we talking about sex?”
“No, we’re pointedly not talking about sex,” Mom said. “We’re alluding to sex.” I laughed. “Lydia, as long as we think your girlfriends are good to you, we’ll support you. You know that, don’t you? If you need more personal space than you have here, we’ll figure something out.”
“Did you just tell me I can invite girls to my room?”
Mom didn’t say anything, and after a minute she turned away. I waited and then barely heard when she said, “Yes.”
She surprised the crap out of me.
But then she turned back, and she had her Mom face on. Everyone knows that face. “As long as she’s good to you and respectful of us.”
“Mom?”
“I was young once, Lydia.”
“Mom!”
“And I had friends.”
“Oh, so you’re going to tell me about what your friends used to do?”
“And I know that if parents hold too tightly, kids find ways.”
“Ways.”
“Yes. Ways. But those ways are frequently not safe. And the choices made are frequently not in the person’s best interests. I want you making good choices, Lydia.”
I nodded. “I can’t believe this conversation.”
“Frankly, neither can I,” she replied. But then she smiled. “But I like knowing you and I can talk about awkward topics.”
I reached over and hugged her. We held each other for a minute. Then I whispered, “Did you get me a car?”
She laughed. “No, I certainly did not. If you want a car, you’re going to have to do what your father did.”
“Steal one?”
“Lydia!”
I giggled.
“Ready to join the party?” she asked.
“More than ready.”
We both stood and turned to each other. Mom smiled, and it was the “God, I love you” smile. Then she took my hand and we walked from the room. I didn’t find out if she had two more adulting items to discuss after alcohol, boys, and what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Party
Mom and I descended the stairs together. At first, I didn’t see anyone, and I thought the party would be the expected, small size of just my closest family. But then we turned the corner, and the room was full. Full!
“Surprise!” They all yelled.
My jaw dropped. Everyone was grinning at me.
Slowly I closed my mouth and looked around slowly. The usual suspects were there. Jackie and Phoebe stood together, and they had Serephine with them. My little sister was practically quivering, and I wondered when they told her everyone was coming. Sere couldn’t keep a secret, not from me, so I was pretty sure she had little advance warning.
Dad was there, of course. What surprised me was that he stood next to Aunt Mabel. She was actually Mom and Jackie’s aunt, my great-aunt, but I always just called her Aunt Mabel. I’d never gotten the impression she and Dad got along, so to see them together was a bit of a surprise.
My closest friends were there: Jenny, Rose, and Janie, and they were grinning at least as widely as anyone. “So, your Mom let you out of prison,” Rose said.
I pointed a finger at them, but I was still too speechless to say anything.
Jay-jay and Karla were there, too. I thought that was sweet. I liked most of Aunt Jackie’s friends, but Jay-jay and Karla were definitely my favorites, and not just because they liked to “borrow” me. Although that part was pretty cool, too.
And then, standing alone, dressed in black...
“Lamia?”
“Happy birthday, Lydia,” she said.
Mom had trained me well. I stepped forward and went from small group to small group, exchanging hugs, a few kisses, and whispered words of, “Thank you for coming,” to each person.
When I got to Jay-jay, it was funny. She actually picked me up when she hugged me. She hadn’t done that for a long time, although it was something she used to do all the time. When I was a lot younger, she used to give me rides, and I’ve been on her shoulders more than a time or two. “I’m really glad you could come,” I managed to get out.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Lydia,” she replied. “How was skydiving?”
“Fabulous,” I said. “I can’t breathe, Jay-jay.”
Laughing, she set me back down, but she held me a moment longer. “Lydia.”
I pushed away from her, and she let me go, but I only went a short distance. I looked up in her eyes. She was smiling, but I thought I saw tears. I squeezed her hand. “Jay-jay, could I ask you something?” She nodded. “Are we friends?”
“You better believe it.”
“Good,” I said. “I’ve decided something. You offered to let me work for you next summer. Is that still on?”
“It sure is!” she said with a grin. “But you know you’ll get all the shit work.”
“You’ll teach me though, right?”
“Oh, yeah,” she said. “You’ll get paid crap, and you’ll handle the crap, but I’ll teach you. You get paid based on what you can do, so if you come back in the future, you’ll make more.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Good. I’m looking forward to it.”
She smiled broadly and then gave me a little push to my next guest.
I’d never had a hugging relationship with Aunt Mabel. Frankly, she’d always intimidated me. Even knowing that she’d been the one who had taught Mom and Aunt Jackie their magic hadn’t really changed that. But I hugged her anyway, and she hugged me back. “Thank you for coming.”
“Jackie has been teaching you.”
That was Aunt Mabel: right to the point.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
We separated later, but I felt like I was a bug under a magnifying glass. She looked at me sternly. “You and I will talk later. I have a gift for you, but it is not for others to see. Find an excuse, and don’t make it too late. I’m not a young woman anymore, and I go to bed early.”
“Yes, Aunt Mabel,” I said.
Lamia saved herself for last. We hugged. I kissed her cheek and thanked her for coming then said, “But what are you doing here?”
“I heard about this birthday party and just had to come.”
“You flew in from Hartford?”
We separated, but she kept my hands, and she was grinning. “Yes, but for a lot more than your party. I’m living here for a while.”
“What?”
She nodded. “It’s a long, complicated story. Maybe I’ll tell you someday. Phoebe is going to help me find a little apartment.”
“Do you have a job?”
She nodded. “For one of the family businesses, but I can work remotely. I’ll have to go back to Hartford every few weeks or something, but I get to live here.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s fabulous.”
“So. I was sort of hoping we could be friends.”
“I’d like that,” I said. “Did you meet my other friends?” I pulled on her hand and led her to Jenny, Rose, and Janie.
* * * *
It was a pretty typical birthday party. I received presents from nearly everyone. I’d already gotten my present from Aunt Jackie. Jay-jay and Karla always got me something particularly girly, and this birthday wasn’t any different. I opened the present from them and withdrew a black skirt with a pink blouse.
“That’s really cute
!” Jenny said immediately.
“It’s totally you,” Lamia added.
I couldn’t tell if either of them was being serious, but I held up the blouse and smiled. “I love them. Thank you.” I put the clothing aside then hopped up and ran over to give Karla and Jay-jay a hug.
“If you don’t like it,” Karla started to say.
“I love it,” I said.
“Jay-jay picked it out,” Karla continued.
“It’s cute,” I said. “Sometimes it’s fun to look cute.”
“She tries to get me to wear pink.”
I laughed and pulled away. “You should.”
“Sometimes I do. It makes her so happy.”
Aunt Mabel didn’t bring anything, but I opened my other presents. Janie, Rose, and Jenny had pitched in to buy me a small make up bag filled with little treats. I hugged the three of them in thanks.
Lamia held her present in reserve. I was surprised she’d had time to get something for me, and I told her she didn’t have to.
“I made this myself,” she said, handing me the brightly wrapped present. I sat back down and opened it slowly. Inside, I found a gift box, and inside, carefully protected, I found a small piece of cross-stitch in a frame. The frame and fabric were black. There were two purple skulls, and between them it said, “I myself am strange and unusual.”
I began laughing immediately. I turned it around to let everyone else see it. Clearly, not everyone had seen the movie, but Mom and Aunt Jackie both began laughing as well, and Dad chuckled.
Lamia grinned at me.
After that, we had cake and ice cream, and a few minutes after that, I found I didn’t need to make an excuse. Mom and Jackie demanded my attention, and they led me downstairs.
* * * *
Aunt Mabel was already waiting. For someone that old, she was still very spry. What was most surprising was that she was playing one of the video games, and she was actually doing rather well.
But when we appeared, she set the controller aside then used the remote to turn everything off. And I saw she had a wrapped present waiting on the coffee table in front of her.
“Lydia,” she said. “Sit with me.”
I sat down on the sofa right beside her. I glanced at the present, but I turned my attention to my great aunt. Mom and Jackie both pulled their own chairs over, and then I waited to see what was going on.
“I thought about making some sort of speech,” Aunt Mabel said finally. “Instead, I’m going to give you this.” She nudged the present towards me. When she nodded, I took it and settled it into my lap.
It was heavy. Well, not really, really heavy, but it wasn’t clothing, that was for sure. I looked down at it and caressed the wrapping for a minute.
“Go ahead,” Aunt Jackie said.
I unwrapped it carefully, setting the paper aside and then opening the box. Inside I found a book. I pulled it out.
It wasn’t a normal book like you could buy at the store. The front and back cover were heavy leather, but it was hand bound, like an expandable photo album.
It wasn’t a photo album. “It’s a grimoire,” I whispered.
“Yes,” said Aunt Mabel. She rotated towards me and set her hand on the book. “Jackie gave you your first, and now this is your second. You’re not ready for this yet, but I wanted you to have it now.”
I looked up at her. “Thank you, Aunt Mabel.”
“Lydia,” Aunt Jackie said. “With one exception, it’s going to be a few years before I can start teaching you these spells.”
“I want you to keep the book at Jackie’s,” Mom added.
“You knew what she was giving me.”
Mom nodded. Then she looked at Aunt Mabel, and I could see the sadness.
I looked up at her. “No,” I whispered.
“I’m an old woman, Lydia,” she said.
“Are you...”
“Dying?” she finished for me. “We’re all dying. Do I have cancer or something of that ilk? No. But life is uncertain. I wanted to give this to you while I could. I wrote it myself.” She set her hand atop it and paused. There was a glow, and then the book allowed itself to be opened. Aunt Mabel flipped a few pages and then pointed. “I offer my own notes first.” She gestured.
Like the one from Jackie, the grimoire was handwritten, and I recognized Aunt Mabel’s careful script. I read the notes she had written. Aunt Mabel let me finish, but then she closed the book as it sat in my lap. She set her hand over the cover.
“You wrote this entire book by hand,” I said.
“Yes. I began the day your grandmother told me Meredith was with child.”
“You’ve been writing this my entire life?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry, Lydia. I won’t be able to write one for Serephine.”
“When she’s ready, we’ll share.”
“You can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because no one can read this book but you and me,” she said.
“It’s your grimoire,” Jackie said. “I can’t read it. I can’t even open it.”
“Then what about Serephine?”
“I’m working on her second grimoire,” Jackie said. “It will be ready by the time she is.”
“Do you already have her first?”
“No,” Jackie said.
“Lydia,” Aunt Mabel said. “It takes magic to write a grimoire. It may only be produced by someone who knows the spells. You could not copy this grimoire until you know every spell in it. You can’t even begin.” I nodded, not fully understanding. “But the first spell in this book teaches you the magic you need to write a grimoire yourself. I will be teaching you that spell when you visit with me this winter.”
“Over break,” Mom said quietly.
“And then, when Jackie has finished teaching you the spells in your first grimoire, you will write one for Serephine.”
“I’ll be busy writing her second, Lydia,” Aunt Jackie said. “Do you understand the implications?”
“I don’t know.”
“Lydia,” said Aunt Mabel. “I cannot teach you the spells that Jackie is teaching you. She can’t open this book.” She patted my new grimoire. “And I can’t open the one she made for you.”
“And Jackie won’t be able to teach Serephine if I write her first.” I paused. “I’m going to teach her.”
“I will help you,” said Aunt Jackie. “But yes. You’re going to have to teach your sister.”
I smiled and nodded. “I will,” I said. “Will I be ready?”
“Of course you will,” Aunt Mabel said. Then she gestured to the book. “Once you have learned enough, you’ll be able to teach yourself the rest of these spells, but you’re not ready for that yet.”
I nodded, and then Aunt Mabel surprised me: she hugged me again, the book pressed between us.
* * * *
Janie whispered into my ear, “Could I talk to you in your room?”
“Sure,” I said. I turned, leading the way back upstairs.
Once we arrived, Janie closed the door, then she prowled my room for a minute. Finally she turned to me. “I want to ask you something.”
“Okay,” I said slowly.
“Do you like girls?”
I froze for a moment and then slowly nodded. “Yes,” I whispered. I wondered if I was about to lose a friend, or maybe all my friends. “How did you guess?”
“What’s the story with Lamia? What kind of name is that, anyway?”
“One designed to piss off her mother,” I said. “She’s Aunt Phoebe’s cousin thrice removed, or something like that.”
“What does that mean?”
“They share a common ancestor a few generations back,” I said with a grin. “Distant family.”
“Right. Okay. So what’s the story between the two of you?”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“What?” I spat. “This is only the second time we’ve e
ven met.”
“Oh,” Janie said. “Okay. So do you want her to be your girlfriend?”
I considered my friend carefully. “Janie, what’s going on?”
“Just answer me.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I barely know her.”
“You seem to like her.”
“Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but I like a lot of people.”
“So she’s not your type.”
“I don’t know if I have a type,” I replied.
“Maybe you like them butch, like that Jay-jay woman.”
“Jay-jay is really sweet, but she’s a little old for me.”
Janie snorted. “You know what I mean.”
“Janie, I’ve never even kissed anyone. I don’t have a clue what my type is. Why are you asking?”
“Lamia is pretty hot.”
I narrowed my eyes and then set my hand on my hip to go with it. Then, for final punctuation, I lifted one eyebrow.
I’d had to practice that move in the mirror.
“You’re an idiot,” she said.
“Excuse me? I’m an idiot because I like girls?”
“You’re an idiot because you haven’t figured out why I’m asking all this.”
My jaw dropped. “You?”
“Half the school knows, Lydia,” she said. “And half of them know how I feel about you. And you’ve never noticed me.”
“I’ve noticed you,” I whispered. “I just didn’t notice you noticing me.”
“I know I’m not very sophisticated,” she said. “And I don’t have that goth thing going for me, but if that’s what you like, I could try it.”
“Janie?”
“Please, Lydia, will you go on a date with me?”
I stared at her for a long time, absolutely stunned. Finally she dropped her eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done this.” She ran for my door, but I stopped her with one word.
“Where?”
She froze. I turned around to look at her, and she slowly turned to look at me. “Movie.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Dutch?” I asked. She nodded. “Dinner.”
“I can’t afford dinner,” she said.
“Dinner here with us, then,” I said.
“With your parents?” she asked.
“Too intimidating?” She slowly nodded. “All right. I’ll think of something and text you tomorrow.”